Ruining Mr. Perfect (The McCauley Brothers) (20 page)

Pregnant.

As in, eighteen-plus years of commitment. An emotional, physical, and financial obligation. She’d have to totally change her lifestyle. No more freedom to jog at night. Who would watch the baby? And her savings. Babies cost a lot. Diapers, medical bills, food, and clothing. She’d have to readjust her finances. In her mind, she started working the numbers and realized she had more to work with than she’d thought, especially with those student loans near completion.

But even that joy didn’t sustain her, because money meant little next to the reality of a child.

And Cameron. Their relationship had been okay. Great, mostly. But with her workload and his, they’d started drifting. He didn’t seem to care that Josh had hit on her. And he didn’t think it a big deal that some bimbo had hit on him. How many other women had flirted that he ignored? Did he ever mention to any of them that he had a girlfriend?
He
told
his
family, and they matter.

She ignored her rational consciousness and focused instead on the negative, dwelling on worry and uncertainty until the water turned cold.

“Vanessa, are you okay?” Maddie asked from outside the door.

Vanessa realized the noise she’d tried to ignore had been Maddie knocking on the door.

“Fine.” She sounded hoarse.

“Well, okay. We’re downstairs if you want some late dinner.” A pause. “Oh, and Cam called again. Are you avoiding him?”

“I’ll be down in a few minutes.”

“Fine.”

Cameron. What the hell should she do about him? He deserved to be told. But how did one go about informing a man he was about to become a father? Would he be glad? Mad? Disappointed?

She’d find out in another few days, as soon as she received her blood test results. Until then, she’d step gently around him and avoid mentioning the baby. Cowardly, yes. But she needed time to absorb this possible game-changer.

She still didn’t know how her pregnancy would affect her candidacy as a partner at her firm. Once again, the lid on her emotions shifted as anxiety poured off her in waves. She shivered in the now lukewarm water and turned it off, then sank to her knees in the tub, trembling.

“What am I going to do?” She allowed herself a few tears and hugged her legs tight. Then she wiped her eyes and reached for a towel. She dried herself off and put her robe back on. Back in her room, she closed and locked the door behind her. She’d eaten a hearty lunch, but she couldn’t make herself eat anything else tonight. Nor did she relish facing her nosy, though well-intentioned, roommates.

She loved them to death, but she wasn’t ready to talk about the situation. Because if she admitted the truth out loud, to witnesses, that made it all real.

With a few choice words at fate, she decided to take a nap, completely forgetting she’d had a date with Cameron until he woke her from a nap, pounding outside her door.

“Vanessa, open up.”

She opened the door in mussed hair wearing a robe, only to see him looking like a cover model in his suit pants and crisp blue shirt and tie.

He studied her face and softened. “Honey, are you okay? Vanessa, talk to me.”

She sighed and tried not to look so pathetic, but she didn’t think she’d succeeded because he cupped her cheek and gave her a sweet smile. “I don’t feel good.”

He took the step to bring them together and enfolded her in his arms. “You feel smaller.”

“I’m just as tall as I was the last time we met,” she mumbled against his chest. But she didn’t fight his hold.

“No, smart-ass. You seem frailer. Like, you lost weight.” He pulled back to look at her. “You went to the doctor today? Abby told me.”

“Yeah.”

“So did she give you anything? Is it the flu?”

A
nine-month flu.
“Ah, she said it needs to run its course.”
Technically.
“Not the flu.”

“Good. But you need someone to take care of you. No, strike that.” He interrupted before she could speak. “I
want
to take care of you. You’re perfectly capable on your own. But I want to help.”

Oh
man.
Why did he have to be like that? So nice and helpful? Confused and on edge, she wanted to lash out and fight. But one, she didn’t have the energy. And two, Cameron was just too darned nice to argue with.

“Okay.”

“Okay? Good.” He drew her back to bed. “You hungry?”

“I could eat.” A seven-course meal. Suddenly, her missed dinner made itself known in the loud rumble of her stomach.

“Sounds like.” He nodded. “You know, I made you dinner a few nights ago. I was planning to bring it to you but Mike needed me to watch Colin. So I had leftover lemon chicken for two days, and you got bupkiss because you’ve been avoiding me.”

She smiled, the first time she’d done that in days. “Lemon chicken, huh? That’s your signature dish.”

“I’m trying to impress you.”

“So whip out your cock.”

He blinked, then grinned. “Good to see your sense of humor hasn’t deserted you.”

Nor had her hormones, apparently. Because as miserable as she felt, she meant that part about his cock. She hadn’t had sex in nearly two weeks, and being so close to him gave her…urges.

“Let me get you something. I’ll be right back.” He settled her into the bed and kissed her. On the mouth. Good thing for him pregnancy wasn’t contagious.

He returned in a few minutes bearing a tray of fruits and veggies and two nice big glasses of water. He’d brought enough to feed them both, because he sat next to her on the bed and ate as much as she did.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

She nodded, though exhaustion still pulled at her. The trauma of shocking news, tax season, and worry over an uncertain future bombarded her nerves.

“Good. Now why don’t you tell me why the hell you’ve been avoiding me?”

Crap.

“Vanessa.”

She swallowed. “Look. It’s not like we’re tied at the hip. Sometimes I need space.”

“So tell me that. I know you’ve been ass-deep in work lately. It’s not a problem. But not returning my calls or texts? Just blowing me off? What gives?”

She shrugged.

“No. I want the truth.”

A burst of anger filled her, that resentment she thought she’d cured herself of. “You don’t care about me. About
us
.”

He opened his mouth and said…nothing.

“Women come on to you, and you don’t even mention me? What am I supposed to think about that?”

“First of all, it’s woman, singular. I don’t feel a need to defend myself from someone I’m clearly not interested in.”

God, she felt like an emotional twit, but she couldn’t stop herself. “What about Josh? My running into John? You couldn’t have cared less.”

“Now hold on. You don’t want a clingy, restrictive boyfriend. We’ve talked about this. First of all, I know you made Josh cry not too long ago, and you hate Small Dick. So what’s the problem? That I didn’t throw a fit and demand to beat their faces in? That I didn’t go all boyfriend jealous and get crazy on you? That I didn’t make some pretentious and totally irrational statement of possession by becoming macho stupid?”

“
Yes.
”

“I…oh.”

“No. I mean, I just think it would be nice if you cared about my feelings.”
Feelings.
Vanessa didn’t do deep emotion, yet she found herself tangled in a knot of misery, jealousy, and affection for the intelligent but clueless man sitting next to her. The small smile on his lips irked her. “Oh, forget I said anything.”

“No, no. Vanessa, you want me to be jealous. Admit it.”

“No.”

He laughed. The asshole. “Honey, I’ve been working hard not to crowd you. You don’t think I wanted to pound Josh’s face in? Or that I still want to stomp Small Dick? Because I do. I’m trying hard to be enlightened and not clingy. For you.”

“I…oh.” The exact words he’d used a minute ago. But they fit. “So you didn’t like the junior hottie in love with me?”

He just looked at her.

“Or Small Dick talking to me?”

“About as much as you apparently disliked Hope’s frenemy trying to entice me with her cleavage. No, I didn’t mention you to her, because I didn’t find her a threat to our relationship. And yes, Vanessa. We have a
relationship
. Just you and me. Dating. Monogamous. I brought you a key.” He reached into his pocket and pulled it out. “To my place. You don’t have to knock anymore. Hell, you could move in tomorrow. But I don’t want to freak you out. I’ve been treading lightly.”

“
What?
” Move in? That implied permanence. A big step. Almost as big
as
a
friggin’ baby
.

“I do not want to become my father. So I was going to force a confrontation tonight if I had to. Look, you know how I feel about phone breakups.”

“Bad.”

“Yep. Same goes for avoidance. Just tell me straight out. If you have a problem, let me know and I’ll fix it.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Go ahead. Lay it on me.”

Her opening. But she couldn’t stand to watch his hopeful smile falter, to see his hopes and dreams for his future fade under a yoke of responsibility she wasn’t yet sure she’d have to undertake.
Just
a
few
more
days, and then we’ll talk, Cameron. I promise.

“I like being your girlfriend,” she said slowly. “Calling you my boyfriend. I don’t care who knows.”

His bright grin reflected in his blue eyes. “Good. Because I sure as hell want everyone you know to see us as a couple. Why don’t I come in Tuesday to bring you lunch? I’d do it Monday, but I have clients all day. That’s if you’re going to work.”

“Of course I am. Just because I was sick doesn’t mean…”
Can’t bring a baby to work though, can you? Can’t breast-feed during the nine-thirty meeting. Working overtime and holidays with a baby isn’t right. Remember when Mom and Dad did that to you? Nannies aren’t the same as loving adults.
As if Vanessa knew how to love.

“You drifted. You okay?”

“Yeah. Just tired,” she added, her voice thick. The need to cry again was overwhelming. She blamed her faulty hormones on her pregnancy. Then she erased the thought, not wanting the baby prediction to come true. Not really.

But either way, she’d know for sure in a few days. And then so would Cameron.

Cam hated to see Vanessa working like a demon in her glass office from hell. All around him, people scurried to copy, send faxes, memos, and worked like dogs. Ah, the stresses of the IRS. Had to love ’em.

He walked past a young man who kept an eye on him as he headed into Vanessa’s office. A glance showed his pinched frown, and Cam figured he’d just walked by Josh.

Vanessa had talked to the guy yesterday, forcing him to hear her out. Like her, Josh had been avoiding a confrontation. But good old Vanessa had shown some spine and set the kid straight.

He didn’t consider the good-looking younger man as a threat. Barely out of college and too new. He was well out of Vanessa’s league.

Cam knocked and entered when she waved at him. “Hey, beautiful.” He noted her strain and shook his head. “Honey, you need to learn how to relax. Why so stressed?” He rounded the desk to rub her shoulders and noted several stares from her coworkers outside. “Why do I feel like a goldfish in a big glass bowl?”

She sighed under his hands. “Welcome to my world.”

“I saw Josh.”

She tensed, then eased under his ministrations. “Yeah. Poor guy. He didn’t take it well when I told him I had a boyfriend, and I never mix business and pleasure.”

“Oh?”

“
Now
you sound jealous?” She turned to glance up at him, her eyes wide. “Seriously?”

“Since I know that’s acceptable to you, I can go kick his ass if you like. Or I could do it big and invite all the McCauleys to take down your ‘junior hottie.’”

She gaped, then started laughing. “Thanks. I needed that. Yeah, I can just see the brood tromping down here to pick on our newbie college grad.”

“Hey, whatever makes you happy.” At that, her grin faded. “So what’s up?”

She ran a hand over her hair, smoothing down some imagined imperfection. She looked like a million bucks, even frazzled. She wore her hair in a French twist, paired with a discreet and tasteful skirt suit. One he wanted hiked around her waist while he took her from behind. After Saturday, when he’d visited the sleeping beauty, they’d spent a good portion of their Sunday making up for lost time.

Vanessa sighed. “I’ve been waiting for an important phone call I should have had yesterday. Unfortunately, I’ve left several messages and had no response. It’s driving me crazy.”

“I feel for you. I can’t stand the big brush-off.” He made a point of looking at her extra long before taking their lunch out of the bag.

“Seriously? Are you going to bring this up all the time now? I apologized for the phone breakup.”

He just watched her.

“And for avoiding you. What do you want? My promise written in blood?”

Or
an
“I do” in front of over a hundred witnesses.
He had a feeling she wouldn’t be ready for that. “I suppose I’ll have to take you at your word.”

“Thanks, so much.”

He grinned. They ate their salads and sandwiches together, discussing work and her roommates possibly moving out.

“Brody bought the place, so it’s only a matter of time before Abby moves in with him.” Cam chewed slowly, wondering if he should bring it up again. What the hell. He’d take a chance. “You know, you could always move in with me.”

She paused in the act of chewing, then finished and swallowed. After a large sip of water, she answered, “Why?”

Not the yes he’d been hoping for, but at least she hadn’t outright rejected him. “Why not? We’re totally compatible in about everything we do. I have an incredible fitness center—did I mention the spa?—as well as a restaurant in the lobby. Residents get ten percent off.”

“The restaurant is expensive and the gym too crowded. Remember?” She smirked.

He swallowed a laugh. “For your information, the restaurant is quite reasonable. The bar is the perfect place to hang out. You can drink and don’t have to drive. If you were so inclined.”

“I see. And the gym?”

“I may have misled you about the fitness center.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s got state-of-the-art equipment, it’s always clean, and it’s rarely crowded.”

“Oh?”

“Hey, I had to have some way of hanging out with you. I was tempting you with my manly thighs and calves.” He pulled back in his hair and reached down to tug his pant leg up. “See these legs? I’m amazing.”

She grinned at him, then her cell phone rang and she picked it up on a laugh. “Hello?”

Her face lost all expression, and she turned white. “Yes, this is she.”

That phone call she’d been dreading.

She watched him while she listened, and with bloodless lips, she thanked the caller and disconnected.

“You okay?”

“I’m not sure.” She took a long drink of water, not breaking eye contact.

Her stare made him uneasy, because she seemed very focused on him after that distressing phone call. “Vanessa?”

“Cameron, you’re going to have to trust me on this. I’m going to be honest with you.”

Dread sat like a ball of lead in his stomach. “Okay.”

“I had some unexpected news. I can’t tell you any more right now, but I promise to share with you when I can. I need some time to myself. A few days at least.”

He wondered what the hell had happened. “Is it something I did?”

The bark of hysterical laughter mystified him. “Just give me time. You wanted me to tell you when I needed space and, Cameron, this is one of those times when I need space.” She licked her lips, a sure sign of her nerves. “Just…give me a little time, okay?”

“Sure. Vanessa, I…” Not the best time to spill his guts and tell her he loved her. She was going through something. But she’d been considerate enough to ask for space. As he’d told her to. “I’m here for you. You have to know that.”

She squeezed his hand. He wasn’t sure, but her eyes looked glassy. As if she meant to cry?

“Thank you.” Sincere in their tone, her words gave him hope she would explain to him what had happened.

“I guess I’ll let you go then. I mean it. You can tell me anything, and it won’t change how I feel about you.”

She nodded. “Thank you again.”

He left, unsure, off center, and sick to his stomach in love with a woman who held so much of herself back. Was he bound to get burned by her? Or would she eventually put him out of his misery and accept his love?

***

Thursday night, Beth sat with Abby and Maddie at their home, invited for an evening of snacks and fun. And to be pumped for information about her relationship with James. She laughingly accepted their curiosity as their due. Her future daughters-in-law had big hearts, and they loved her boys to distraction. To hear James tell it, all three of them could barely function without their female counterparts. It tickled her to think that Cam might have found true love with Vanessa.

Beth asked, “Where’s Vanessa? I owe that girl. She certainly put James in his place. He credits her with some straight talking that made him wake up and stop being such a jerk.”

“She’s like that. She made me see how stupid I was being when dealing with Flynn.” Maddie blushed. “I’m sorry, but your son is too charming for his own good sometimes. He made me nervous.”

“Gets that from his father.” Beth nodded.

“She helped Brody decorate the house for me. Remember how romantic it was? Rose petals, Christmas decorations. He even put a ribbon around Hyde.” Abby sighed.

“True. She let the dog in the house. Which for Vanessa is huge,” Maddie agreed.

The girls looked at each other, then at Beth, and leaned in closer. “But something’s not right with her lately.” Maddie frowned. “She’s too quiet, too withdrawn. Even for her. It’s not work. Not Cam either, I don’t think.”

“I’m worried about her.” Abby bit her lower lip. “She’s been sick a lot too. The stress of deadlines. What if she’s getting an ulcer?”

Beth wondered.

Maddie nodded. “She came home at seven and went straight to her room. Told us she’s going through some stuff but can’t talk about it yet. That’s typical Vanessa. She’s super capable to help everyone else, but God forbid she need a helping hand.”

“Too much pride.” Abby gave Maddie a long look. “Must be a Gardner thing.”

“Oh shut up.” Maddie nudged her.

“You think I could talk to her?” Beth asked, concerned for the girl.

“You know, that’s a great idea. I think she’ll come to us eventually, but I hate waiting, especially since I know she’s upset about something.” Abby nodded with enthusiasm. “Not that you heard any of that from us. But don’t use the bathroom down here. Use the one upstairs.” She nodded at the hallway. “I heard her go in a while ago but never heard her leave. She might still be in there.”

Beth left them and walked upstairs.

In an effort to help Cameron’s new girlfriend and, according to James, their next daughter-in-law, she walked softly to Vanessa’s room and saw the door open, no one inside. Like the rest of the house, Vanessa’s bedroom was neat as a pin and clear of disorder. Beth liked the girl’s sense of organization, as well as her attachment to Cameron. In that, they both had a few things in common.

She approached the bathroom door and knocked. “Hello?”

“I’ll be right out.” Vanessa sounded so lost.

Beth had no right to push, but she heard the water running in the sink and opened the door, surprised to find it unlocked.

Inside, she saw Vanessa sitting on the lid of the closed toilet. On the sink counter, three pregnancy tests lay flat. Beth walked closer and saw all of them with positive results.

“Oh my God.”

“Hi, Beth.” Vanessa had circles under her eyes and looked as if she’d lost weight. The glow she normally wore had been replaced by worry and dismay. “Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.”

Beth blinked at her. “You’re pregnant?”

She hiccupped on a sob and turned off the sink. “Yeah.”

Beth wanted to congratulate her, ecstatic at the thought of being a grandmother once more. But Vanessa didn’t encourage joy. She looked miserable. “I take it this wasn’t planned.”

Vanessa shook her head, her eyes shining with tears.

“Oh honey.” Beth pulled her up into her arms and hugged her, letting the girl’s head rest on her shoulder. Like trying to console her boys, who all towered over her. Vanessa hugged her tight, and Beth knew she must have been terrified. “How long?”

“I’m not sure. I go in for an appointment next week. I just found out two days ago. Cameron doesn’t know.”

Beth didn’t know how to feel about that, but right now she wanted to help Vanessa.

“I’m going to tell him. I just don’t know how yet.”

“And you’re sure it’s positive?” Beth glanced at the three tests.

Vanessa backed away and sat on the closed commode once more. “Yes. I went to the doctor last week because I felt sick and it wouldn’t go away. She did the pee test there. It was positive. So I had her do a blood test. She called Tuesday and told me it was positive.”

“But you had to be sure.” Beth nodded to the tests.

“I kept thinking she had to be mistaken. I’m on the Pill. Cameron and I never talked about children. I don’t understand how this happened. I mean, I understand the mechanics, obviously. But the probability of conception is so low with the combination pill…”

It was meant to be. She didn’t think Vanessa wanted to hear that, though. “Honey, this has to be hard. You don’t have to go it alone. Have you talked to your parents?”

Vanessa snorted. “Guess Cameron didn’t tell you about our trip out East.”

“He mentioned it, but he was vague about your parents. He told me how proud they are of you.”

“Well, they aren’t warm and fuzzy folks.”

“How about Maddie and Abby? They love you.”

Vanessa wiped her eyes. “I can’t. They’re so happy right now with the guys, and they have so much to do with work and stuff. Besides, I don’t make mistakes.” She paused. “I mean, no offense, but this baby wasn’t planned. I’d always intended to have children, but I wanted to be more secure. Married, or at least in a relationship in which I’d chosen to procreate. But…”

“Life happened. Oh honey, I’ve been there.” Beth sat on the lip of the tub across from her. “I married James when I was just twenty. He was in the Marine Corps and gone when I found out I was pregnant with Mike. I had one boy, and while James came back from deployment on leave, we had a grand time, and I ended up pregnant with Flynn. It wasn’t easy, raising two babies by myself. But I had family close, and James left the Corps for us.”

“But Cameron and I aren’t married. He has no ties to me except that we’re currently dating.”

“You’re the mother of his unborn child.” Beth paused. “It is Cameron’s, isn’t it?”

“What?” Vanessa blinked, as if the notion hadn’t occurred to her it could be anyone else’s. “Of course.”

Beth breathed a sigh of relief on that score. “Are you going to have it?”

“I…I know all the reasons I shouldn’t. But inconvenience isn’t a reason to kill this baby.” She cradled her belly, and Beth could see the confusion and love lingering in the poor girl’s gaze. “I just… I don’t want to screw the kid up. I’m a lot like my parents.” She cried and put her face in her hands. “I’m sorry. I can’t do this.”

Beth stroked her hair. “It’s okay, Vanessa. This is a big deal. The biggest you’ve probably ever faced. You’re so smart and good at everything you do. It’s no wonder my boy has fallen in love with you.”

She jerked her head up. “He has?”

Cameron. Not you too.
Why did the men in her family tend to keep the most important words so close to their chests? “Of course he has. I know he gave you a key to his condo. And that he’s asked you to move in. No, Cam didn’t tell me.” She chuckled. “His father is demanding he move back into the house because you and Cam will soon be shacking up. James’s words, not mine.”

Vanessa managed a laugh. “God. So everyone assumes I’m moving in with Cameron?”

“No. Not everyone. Cam seems nervous to me. He’s seriously in love with you, Vanessa. If he hasn’t told you yet, he’s even more an idiot than I thought he’d ever be.”

Vanessa shook her head. “You can’t know that. You just want your next grandchild to grow up in a stable environment.”