Rules of Harte (Harte Series #1) (37 page)

             
She woke up with a creak in her neck from falling asleep awkwardly on the sitting room couch, and although the thought of Monday morning made her feel sick, she was just glad it wasn’t the world’s longest Sunday anymore.

             
The office was quieter than usual. Maybe a lot of people had taken the day off to nurse their lingering hangovers, she decided. She was sorry she hadn’t thought to do the same. Nathan wasn’t at his desk and she breathed a sigh of relief. Mia was missing too and Eva began to feel the sense of foreboding in her gut ease just a fraction. Maybe today wouldn’t be quite the horror show she’d built it up to be in her head. None the less, it was a test of her endurance. Making it to Julian’s office seemed like a painstaking hike up Everest, rather than just six floors in the lift.

             
The people that were there whispered as she passed their desks, some even pointed. No one overly tried to hide that they were gossiping. She couldn’t blame them, not really. She knew if she was in their position, she’d be fishing for all the juicy information too. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it; in fact it was rather nice to suddenly have a status. She wasn’t a nobody anymore. She just wished her status wasn’t synonymous with office scandal. She’d had eleven friend requests on Facebook from names she recognised from internal emails, and someone had even tweeted a picture of her mask left behind on stage with the caption ‘the new
it
girl has expensive taste’. Eva knew it was obviously a reference to the pricy champagne her mask advertised. She wanted to defend herself and explain that elaborate taste, and outlandishly expensive beverages weren’t really her, but she decided against arguing her case in one hundred and forty characters on the internet.

             
Shelly didn’t look up from stapling some paper when Eva approached her desk. Eva knew they weren’t documents of any consequence, like Shelly tried to pretend - she’d stapled the same corner at least five times. Eva’s heart felt like it had been pulled out of her chest and thrown into a washing machine on spin cycle. Was this how it would be from now on? They’d practiced awkwardly-pretending-not-to-see-each-other because it was easier than actually talking about the situation. Eva didn’t find it easier. She hated it. Eva wondered if she should just apologise and get it over with. She just wasn’t sure what she was saying sorry for. It wasn’t as if she’d stolen Julian. Shelly knew the score. She’d chosen to play the game. Okay, so there were no instructions and the Rulebook seemed ever changing, but that was Julian - he was unpredictable, and he always came out the winner. Julian’s mood was the dice. And it was lucky for Eva she was throwing sixes, and she reminded herself of that as she reached Shelly’s desk.

             
‘Mr Doe will see you now,’ Shelly said, looking up, not quite crying but definite tears streaked across her pale blue eyes.

‘Seriously?’ This is how we’re doing it? Mr Doe?’

Shelly put down the pen she had taken to chewing. ‘Let’s be professional, if nothing else, okay?’

Okay? Okay? No it wasn’t fucking okay. They were friends, weren’t they? What’s that cliché people always said? Don’t let a man fuck up your friendship, or something like that - Eva tried not to cringe thinking of the literal meaning.

             
‘Eva, you pissed off without even saying goodbye. I know you were caught up in the moment and all, but even he came back down. You didn’t even bother.’

Eva felt like she had just been slapped in the face. Is that really what people thought. That Julian was mannerly and thanked his guests for coming
, but she was a stuck up bitch who wouldn’t be arsed with the little people? Why didn’t he explain? Had he done it on purpose?

‘Shell
y it wasn’t like that. I fell asleep. I didn’t even know he was gone.’

‘Sure,’ Shelly said
, staring at her blank computer screen.

‘No seriously, please believe me. I know you’re angry I’ve taken Julian. But it’s not like that. That’s why I’m here. It’s over between us.’

              It’s over between us
, Eva repeated in her head. Jesus that sounded weird.
Us?
Were they ever an
Us?
She didn’t think they were, but the term had just slipped so easily off her tongue, like it was the natural description of their relationship.

Shelly laughed loudly. Eva was mortified
, instantly deciding that if Shelly found it that funny, then they were definitely never an Us.

‘I’m sorry, okay?’ Eva said
, desperate to say something that might make Shelly stop laughing.

             
‘You think I’m pissed about the Mr Doe thing? Jaysus, Eva. I’m so not. This is the way it goes. I knew it was coming. That’s cool.’

Eva made a face. ‘What then?’

‘You left me with the boring, nerdy-fuck Nathan. I ended up bringing him home and shagging him twenty ways backwards across the kitchen table.’

‘Oh shit, Shelly. I’m sorry.’

‘Now he won’t stop calling me. Even today. I have two voicemails and three missed calls.’

‘That sounds about right,’ Eva said. ‘Just ignore him.’

‘I would, but we’ve a date tonight.’

‘A date? But I thought you said he was a boring fuck.’

‘He is. But a fuck’s a fuck and he’s not half-bad. We’re going for drinks and I plan to test out the rest of the kitchen furniture after.’

Eva tried to hold it in
, but she snorted loudly and then let out a monstrous fit of slightly horrified giggles.

‘Sounds adventurous,’ Eva said
, slurping in huge gulps of air between words as she continued to laugh more than she had in ages.

             
Shelly’s phone rang and Eva tried her best to curb her laughter.

‘It’s him. I better get this,’ Shelly said, smiling.

Eva nodded and gestured goodbye with a tiny wave as she walked away. She rolled her shoulders and stood so firmly upright, her spine cracked softly in response. She knocked twice on Julian’s door and waited for an answer.

             
It would normally be rather difficult to hear the lift doors open from the end of the long corridor, or over Shelly’s shameless flirting on the phone. But Eva was so on edge waiting for Julian, she’d probably have heard a pin drop. The familiar bell as the lift arrived behind Eva, made her jump. She’d grown so used to the dull three-note tone from visiting Mr Doe that it often got stuck in her head on repeat on the train on the way home from work. Mr Doe? Wow, just thinking of that alias made Eva feel strange. This wasn’t Mr Doe’s office anymore, it was Julian’s. But no matter how hard Eva tried, she couldn’t equate the two to form one man.

             
She turned around slowly, knowing what to expect. Julian stood waiting, one foot crossed over the other, his back leaning against one side of the doors, effortlessly holding them open. One arm was bent at his elbow and his fingers rested on the same shoulder, loosely holding his dark-grey suit jacket and letting it drape behind his back.

             
‘Evangeline,’ he said, crocking an eyebrow.

Shelly mumbled a non-coherent goodbye and quickly put down the phone receiver.

The tension was almost unbearable. Eva knew she wasn’t imagining it; Shelly looked so tense tucked behind her desk, almost hiding. Her forehead was riddled with frown lines, which totally went against her five step anti-wrinkle programme. Eva knew Shelly wouldn’t compromise her preservation of eternal youth unless it was very serious. Frowning was as serious as it got.

             
Excessive drama or not, Eva was glad Shelly was there. She knew Julian’s principals would never allow him to be rude, he’d have to acknowledge Shelly and they’d have to make small talk for a few moments at least. A few moments wasn’t much but it was hopefully enough to pull herself together and calm her nerves. Eva knew whether it was moments, days or even weeks, she’d probably never fully be able to prepare herself for what lay ahead. Maybe she should change her mind. A year as Julian’s chosen girl would be mind-blowing. She’d had a taste of that life over the last two weeks, and her life had already been changed forever, imagine what a year could do. Eva pushed the thought to the back of her mind; she couldn’t allow herself to entertain the idea. It wouldn’t take much to fall for his charm once he turned it on, so she had to have all shields ready, no room for emotions now. This was so over, she told herself. It had to be.

             
Eva tried not to look Julian up and down, but it was almost impossible when he looked so delicious. Something about the slim fit of his tailored shirt or the soft lines of his expensive suit trousers turned her on more than anything else he wore. The clothes hugged his body with classic elegance and an image of Julian’s naked body rushed into Eva’s head.

             
‘You look well,’ he said, smiling.

Eva wondered if it was a genuine compliment or if it was a deliberate effort to make her aware of her appearance.
She adjusted her skinny black jeans and oversized coral blouse. She hated the outfit but it was one of the few remaining items left in her wardrobe that he hadn’t bought her. It didn’t seem appropriate to wear his gifts today.

             
‘Hold my calls, gorgeous,’ he said, winking at Shelly. ‘I could be a while.’

Eva looked to Shelly for reassurance but she was immersed in her work and looked every inch the dedicated professional.
Eva knew she was on her own in this. It was probably for the best, she decided. Get it over with as soon as possible. Every second that passed was exaggerated by her racing heart, beating so fast it made breathing a challenge. She felt like a hyperventilating hyena. Christ this was not how she wanted today to go. She knew she wouldn’t be calm, that was a given, but this was ridiculous. She was on the verge of passing out.

             
Julian stepped forward and leaned in Eva’s direction, but he left one hand casually behind him holding the lift door open. Eva hurried towards him, uncomfortably aware that he was waiting. Was he leaving the next move up to her? Did he want to see how she’d react under pressure? Eva rolled her shoulders; she was, as always, over analysing it. He was just holding the lift, it wasn’t a test. People held lifts all the time. But most people didn’t have a power over her like he had.

             
She stood in front of him with an awkward distance between them. Even in four inch wedges, the top of her head fell just shy of his chin. Julian remained painfully still but his eyes burned into hers. Eva had no doubt now, it was a test. He was challenging her to keep it together. She tried to think of some rivetingly exciting start to a conversation but she was coming up blank.

She finally managed a sheepish, ‘
good morning.’

‘Good morning, Ms Andrews.’

‘Ms Andrews?’ Eva echoed. ‘We’re back to the formalities, then?’

Julian tilted his head slowly. ‘Professional as always.’

Professional? Fuck professional. He wasn’t professional when he moonlighted as a fake escort and was curling his fingers inside her. Or when he wrapped his lips around her pebbled nipples. Was it really that easy for him to switch back to little more than estranged colleagues?

             
‘Julian please, this isn’t how I want it to be.’

Julian’s eyes narrowed, he looked irritated, ‘On the contrary,
Ms Andrews. This is very much how you do want it. You’re the decision maker now. You’re in control.’

Eva studied his magnificent brown eyes, it was hard not to get lost in his beauty
, but she was looking for the emotion that he always tried so hard to hide. His eyes were his tell, she’d learned that. And his eyes were telling her he was hurt. She’d hurt him. She’d never intended to and he’d never admit it, she knew that. But she’d hurt him. But was it just his pride or had she affected something deeper. She wished she had the courage to ask.

             
‘Shall we?’ Julian said, stepping back into the lift.

‘We’re going down?’

Julian crocked an eyebrow, even now he couldn’t let an unintentional innuendo slip by unacknowledged.

‘Julian,’ Eva scolded
, trying to hide a giggle. ‘I mean…are we not going back to your office?’

Julian smiled and shook his head.

Julian and Eva wandered around the park
for quite a while. Julian even stopped to feed the ducks. It was normal, comfortable, mundane even - and very not Julian. The conversation flowed effortlessly. Eva told Julian more about her life in New Jersey and he tolerated her questions about his childhood, although his yes/no answers left her with more questions than before she started.

             
Heavy rain erupted out of nowhere and Julian caught Eva’s hand and pulled her quickly under a nearby tree for cover. It was the first time they’d touched all day and Eva instantly wanted more. Julian pulled her close to him and kissed her forehead.

             
‘I can’t do this,’ Eva said, a huge lump forming in her throat.