Runaway (21 page)

My thoughts and conjectures following the conversation with Lawrence occupied me for many days. No matter how much I puzzled over the story, I could not make sense of it. I needed to see Mrs Saunders again and I wanted to read my parents’ letters more carefully, but I had left them behind at Deerhurst.

Other than this, the long journey to London passed very pleasantly. Lawrence treated me more like a friend than a servant. I sat beside him in the chaise most of the way, driving or being driven. We ate our meals together in the taprooms of the inns in the evenings. We talked a great deal and I often needed to guard my tongue, so as not to be drawn into betraying myself. Only at night was our accommodation quite separate. Lawrence took a room in the inn. I had been allocated shared rooms with other male servants, but I chose to sleep in the chaise, wrapped in my father’s cloak.

As Lawrence drove the horses into the inn yard in London and reined them in, I recognized it as the Castle and Falcon, where Martha stayed with her packhorse train. On one wall I saw that the wanted notice with my face on it, which I had once removed, had been replaced. The new one was larger and hung there for all to see, but had faded and curled at the edges. I shivered a little. If I needed a reminder that I should not have come to London, there it was.

I looked around me and for a moment forgot the notice. To my delight, I spotted Magpie being unloaded by Jason. Unbuckling the pack from Sparrow was Martha herself. Quite forgetting my duties, I leapt down from the chaise the moment it stopped and ran to Martha.

‘Martha!’ I cried. ‘Oh, Martha, it’s so good to see you!’

She turned and stared at me blankly for a moment, her weathered face registering no recognition of this clean, well-fed boy in fine livery and a wig.

‘It’s me! Charlie!’ I cried excitedly.

Her face cracked into a grin and she pulled me into a hug. ‘I’ve been that worried about you!’ she said. ‘I went looking for you at the John of Gaunt and they would tell me no more than that they’d let you go. But I can see you’ve done well for yourself. Just look at you!’

She stood back to admire my livery and my grey wig with a broad smile. ‘That’ll be Lord Rutherford’s colours you’re wearing? However did you get yourself a place there?’

Her words recalled me to a sense of my duties, and with a hasty ‘I’ll hope to see you later,’ I hurried back to Lawrence who had stepped down from the chaise and was watching me. The ostlers had already unhitched his horses and led them away.

‘I’m so sorry, sir,’ I said contritely. ‘I worked for Martha before I went to the John of Gaunt.’

‘Yes, I remember. I have some acquaintance with Mistress Martha.’

To my surprise, Lawrence invited Martha and Jason to join us at our table in the coffee room of the inn for the evening meal. Lawrence asked Martha about life on the packhorse trains over stew and potatoes and a large jug of ale. He was relaxed and friendly with her, despite the fact that he was dressed in fine wools and soft linen while she wore a muddied woollen gown with a far-from-clean neckerchief, her red short-cloak thrown over the bench beside her.

Jason was yawning and rubbing his eyes so, the moment he had finished his food, Martha packed him off to bed. While Lawrence was ordering another jug of ale, she took the opportunity to lean over and whisper in my ear: ‘Where do you sleep? Not with the grooms? And not in
his
room, I hope?’ She nodded towards Lawrence.

‘No, in the chaise,’ I whispered back.

She shook her head and pursed her lips disapprovingly. ‘You come and share my room tonight,’ she whispered, then turned with a ready word and smile for Lawrence who had finished speaking to the waiter.

I accompanied Martha up the stairs to her room when we all turned in for the night. Jason was sleeping in the stables, so it was just the two of us.

‘He seems a good master,’ she said. ‘Asked questions about you when you went out to the latrine, he did. He don’t suspect you’re a girl?’

‘Not as far as I know,’ I replied. ‘Did it seem to you as though he might?’

Martha shook her head. ‘No, but he gave little enough away. So what’s it like living in such a fine household?’

‘I’m very happy there. The hours are long, but the work isn’t strenuous. Nothing like the John of Gaunt! I’ve been treated well.’

‘Lawrence is a good man. I’ve heard nothing but praise of him. But the old lord is another matter. Plenty of talk about
him
. Didn’t he drive his own son away?’ asked Martha.

‘Something like that,’ I agreed. ‘And he’s very bad tempered when he’s in the gout, I’m told.’

‘Oh, good Lord, child, they all are!’ Martha exclaimed. ‘I’ve heard that granddaughter’s a wild piece and all.’

I nodded. ‘Cruel to her horse, too.’

‘You can tell a lot about a person from the way they treats their animals,’ replied Martha. She pulled the shutters closed and climbed into bed, lying down heavily beside me with a sigh. I pulled off my wig and laid it carefully on the chest.

‘Eh, they’ve shaved your hair right off!’ exclaimed Martha.

‘Oh, it’s grown a good deal already!’ I assured her, rubbing my head. ‘Martha, what did Mr Lawrence ask about me?’

‘This and that,’ Martha rolled over to look at me in the gloom. ‘You’re not in love with him, are you?’

I didn’t answer and was glad the semi-darkness hid my burning cheeks. Martha groaned. ‘There’s no future in that but heart-break, child,’ she said shrewdly. ‘He may be a steward but he’s gentleman born; he’ll not marry such as you. The old lord is as stiff-necked as they come. He’d never allow it in a thousand years! Lawrence is his family.’

‘I know that, Martha,’ I said softly. ‘I knew it even before he told me how close he stands to the inheritance. I’m not stupid.’ I thought of my mother. She too had loved a man who was forbidden to her.

‘All girls in love are stupid,’ Martha said roundly. ‘You’re no different! You keep your sex quiet or there’s no saying what might befall you. There’s no trusting the gentry! He’ll get you with child and then pack you off without a penny. You and me are barely human to such as he!’

‘Did he really seem so depraved to you?’ I asked, my face burning.

‘Take it from me, Charlie: in your situation, you can’t be too careful,’ warned Martha.

‘You’re right, of course,’ I agreed, hoping very much that she was wrong. I changed the subject, preferring to keep my feelings to myself. ‘But in fact, Martha, the real danger to me at Deerhurst is a kitchen maid.’

I told Martha about Susan and she roared with laughter. ‘Promise me one thing, Charlie,’ she said before we fell asleep. ‘If you’re ever in any trouble, and I don’t just mean the family way, any trouble at all, you’ll come straight to me. Don’t you hesitate! I’m not farther away than you can walk in a day. You come to Martha and I’ll help you out if I can. You understand?’

‘Thank you, Martha,’ I said gratefully. ‘You have the kindest heart.’ There was danger pressing in on me from all sides; my virtue was the least of my troubles. But it was good to know I had a friend.

‘Bless you, child. I know more of poverty and hardship than I care to remember,’ said Martha. ‘And I hope more than you will ever experience. Sleep now; it’s an early start in the morning.’

I rose quietly before dawn the next morning and crept down to the yard to remove the poster once more. But when I got there, it was gone. The coincidence was uncanny and sent a chill of fear down my spine. Had someone recognized me? Perhaps it was chance and someone had happened to remove it. I tried to shake off an intense feeling of unease and went softly back to bed for an hour.

The auction yard was busy, even though we arrived early. I’d spent two days hanging around the stables of the Castle and Falcon while Lawrence conducted business in the city. He hadn’t invited me to join him and I didn’t ask what he’d been doing. Whatever it was, it had put a frown on his face and made him thoughtful and distracted.

On the day of the auction, Lawrence seemed to have thrown off whatever was troubling him and was cheerful once more. People looked over the horses, checked their teeth and hooves, and watched as they were trotted out to show their paces. I stayed close to Lawrence and resisted the urge to clutch his sleeve as we walked through the bustling crowd. I was dressed in my own breeches, shirt and waistcoat, as Lawrence didn’t want us to be known to everyone by my livery. ‘The price might go up,’ he’d said with a grin.

I knew he was here to look at a specific team that he’d heard were for sale. But the matching chestnuts, when we inspected them, disappointed us both. ‘Showy rather than sound, I’d say,’ said Lawrence quietly in my ear. ‘What do you think, Charlie?’

I ran my hand over one horse’s leg and paused over a small lump on the pastern. The horse flinched very slightly. ‘There might be a problem here,’ I said, straightening up. ‘Or it may be nothing.’

‘I’ll swear that one has a touch of laminitis forming, too,’ said Lawrence with a frown. We stepped back to observe the horses at a distance again.

‘They look good together, I have to admit,’ said Lawrence. ‘Finely matched. But I think two are a trifle short in the back. I’m not convinced they’re a good buy.’ He sighed. ‘It was a long journey for disappointment.’

‘There’s a great deal of interest in them too,’ I pointed out, looking at the crowd milling around. ‘Will that not drive the price up?’

‘It may. It’s always difficult to tell.’

I took the auction list from Lawrence’s hand to glance down it. ‘There are some match bays,’ I said.

Lawrence shook his head. ‘No. They’re too old. I want to invest in some younger animals.’

‘There is a team of greys for sale too,’ I said, pointing at the item on the list. ‘Should we have a look at those?’

‘Greys? I hadn’t noticed. Yes, by all means. I didn’t know you could read, Charlie. A young man of hidden talents.’

I shrugged. How unusual was it for a stable boy to be able to read? Extremely unusual, I supposed, but not so unusual for the son of an officer.

The greys turned out to be four beautifully matched young horses in fine shape. There was a great deal of praise for them until they were driven out as a team. They went poorly together and were a handful. One kept shying and none responded properly to commands. Several potential buyers turned away, shaking their heads, but Lawrence’s eyes gleamed. ‘Just what we were looking for, Charlie!’ he said quietly so as not to be overheard. ‘As far as I can see they are sound and full of potential. But there’s plenty of work to be done to get them pulling well as a team!’

The bidding began at two o’clock. The single horses came up first: hacks, hunters, and some carriage horses. We discussed each one as they were brought forward and trotted out for the crowd. I was enjoying myself. I’d never been to a big auction before and everything was new to me: the speed of the bidding, the way the auctioneer called out the lots and took bids, and the noise and excitement of the crowd when buyers fought to outbid one another.

Lawrence bid on a hunter but pulled out when the price rose too high. He succeeded in buying a nice-looking roan gelding for a good price and looked quietly pleased with himself.

‘I didn’t know you were planning to buy him!’ I remarked once the hammer had struck the gavel and the auctioneer had announced: ‘Sold to the gentleman in the blue coat!’

‘Call it a sudden impulse,’ said Lawrence with a smile. ‘I’ve been considering buying myself a horse for a while. I looked him over earlier while you were admiring that temperamental Arab mare. The price was too good to resist.’

The greys were one of the later lots. Lawrence held back for the first rounds, waiting to gauge who was interested in the team. Bidder after bidder dropped out, and finally only Lawrence and one other were left. I could scarcely breathe for excitement, hoping against hope that he would succeed in purchasing the team.

I looked across at the man bidding against us, who wore a drab coat over an embroidered waistcoat. I wondered how high he would think it was worth going. A face in the crowd caught my eye and instantly I became oblivious to everything else. My heart missed a beat and the blood froze in my veins. It was my father’s killer and his pale eyes were looking straight at me.

I had no idea whether he’d recognized me, but his eyes were narrowed as he stared appraisingly at me and then flicked over my companion. I couldn’t look away; I was transfixed and horrified until the hammer fell. The man turned away and vanished into the crowd. I stood rooted to the spot, scarcely aware that Lawrence was speaking to me.

‘ … to collect the horses and arrange payment. Charlie? Charlie, are you listening to me?’

His hand on my arm brought me back to the present and I looked up at him, dazed and shocked. ‘Are you unwell, Charlie? You look as though you have seen a ghost!’

‘I do feel unwell. I’m sorry. It’s … it’s all the excitement.’

‘Here, why don’t you go back to the inn and order yourself a glass of something?’ said Lawrence reaching into his pocket and pulling out a shilling. ‘I’ll join you when I’m done.’ He offered me the coin, but I shook my head numbly.