Running Away From Love (20 page)

The fact that he was trying to play me for some simple chick offended the hell out of me. Any chick with common sense could sense the bullshit.

I continued to pack up as much things that I could grab. He forcefully yanked me by the arm to make me stop. I screamed out in pain yelling “Stop it! Let me go you’re hurting me!”

He quickly let go of me after he realized how much force he actually used to stop me. He said “Look I’m sorry baby I swear I didn’t mean to grab you like that. But I just need you to just stop for one damn minute, and let me just talk to you.”

I just looked at him in disbelief and disgust. As soon as I stopped moving the pain in my arm immediately began to flare up. It felt like he was trying to yank my arm out of the socket by how hard he grabbed me.

I stopped and said “What is it that you need to say that is so fucking important?”

He said “Okay, Jasmine, yes I do know who she is, but I am not cheating on you with her. She is just a girl that I used to mess with a long time ago. She is just starting shit because she is mad I cut her off. When we became serious I cut her off. As you can tell, she is not the type of chick who takes rejection lightly. But I swear to you, whatever she said to you was a lie. I love you, Jasmine; I would never do anything to hurt you like that. You have to believe me baby.”

I rolled my eyes at him as I said “So you were in that bitch face last night, huh? Then you came home, and got your trifling ass into bed with me? That is fucking disgusting! That is why kept trying to make me to promise that I would never leave you? I have given you all of my trust, Quincy. And you sat your ass up in my face this whole time knowing that you were doing me wrong. You always wanna tell me how much you love, but you were consistently going behind my back fucking some hoe! Looking at you right now is making me sick to my stomach. Please just get out of my face before I punch you in your face!”

I couldn’t even stand looking at his lying ass anymore. I just needed to get away from him before I end up in jail.

              A part of me really wanted to believe that Q was telling me the truth. I didn’t want to believe that he would betray me in this way. But deep down I knew the girl was telling the truth. So I grabbed my bags and keys heading for the door as I tried to grasp this whole thing. As I was about to walk out the door, I stopped and stared at him.

I said “How could you do this to me, Quincy? I trusted you, and I gave you my heart. I never would have thought you would do something like this to us. You knew how damaged I was from my previous relationship, yet you go and prove to me you are no different. You promised me, that you would never hurt me. I honestly felt like our relationship was going great. There wasn’t anything I wouldn’t have done for you. But now I come to find out the man I was claiming as mine was really ours. If you were unhappy with any aspect of our relationship then you should have been a man and come to me with the problem. If it couldn’t have been worked out between us then we could have went our separate way with no hard feelings.”

Suddenly it felt like my chest was going to cave in and I could hardly breathe. It felt like I was having a damn panic attack. I dropped my bags down, and collapsed onto the floor burying my head into my hands. I had developed a pounding headache that was weakening me. I kept fighting back my tears. I felt him sit down next to me. He tried to hold me, but I pushed him away.

He pleaded with me saying “Listen calm down, baby, and breathe. You sound like you’re having a panic attack. Please listen to me. I swear to you I didn’t betray you. Yes I should have not denied knowing her when you first asked me. I’m dead ass wrong for her number and picture still being in my phone. But I swear to you that once we became official I left her alone. You have to believe me, baby. I have never lied to you. I never once gave you a reason not to trust me. So why would I start now?”

I stared into his eyes looking for any sign of uncertainty but I didn’t find any. He really did seem genuine and truthful in what he was saying. I really didn’t have any proof that the chick was telling the truth. It was basically her word against his. I said “No you haven’t given me a reason not to believe you.” He grabbed both of my hands and forced me to look into his eyes as he said “Jasmine, please don’t leave me, baby. I need you to trust me. You never had any reason to doubt me before. Please don’t start doubting me now when I need it the most. I love you Jasmine I wouldn’t hurt you like this.”

Quincy was just saying what he needed to say to keep me from leaving. He knew that he was feeding me lies. But at this point he was willing to say whatever to salvage our relationship.

              As I stared into his eyes I went back in forth with myself trying to figure out what to do. I felt blindsided by all of this. I never saw this coming. I couldn’t help but think logical about all of this. My mind was telling me that he isn’t shit. But in my heart I couldn’t hide the fact that I loved him very much. He was my very own prince charming. He came when I least expected it, and swept me off my feet. He saved me from myself. He has been everything that I needed him to be. The life that we have built together was nothing short of amazing in this short amount of time that we have known each other. As I looked up at him he looked like he was holding his breath awaiting what I might say next. I stood up and just couldn’t face him. I just needed some time alone to figure all of this out.

So I said “I’m sorry I just can’t do this right now I need to get out of here.” I grabbed my bags and keys and headed towards the door again.

He jumped up and cut me off at the door as he said angrily “Jasmine, are you really going to believe some bitch’s word over mine? You’re not even going to give me the benefit of the doubt. Your still going to walk out on me even though I never once given you any reason not to believe me.”

I said aggravated “Oh so now she’s a bitch? But she wasn’t a bitch when you were fucking her though, and fucking her unprotected at that. Like seriously, Quincy, what the fuck were you thinking? Did you even consider the fact that she could end up pregnant? Or even worse if we didn’t use condoms you could have given me some type of disease. Please spare me with the dumb shit you’re talking right now. I said I’m leaving and that’s what I mean.”

He stood his ground refusing to move out of my way. He said “No you’re not going anywhere. You are going to sit your ass right here, and we are going to talk and work this out. You always want to run away, but today I’m not having it. I won’t let you leave like this. We’re not ending like this Jasmine. You said you would never leave me, and I need you to keep your word.”

I stared at him like he was out of his damn mind. When I say I’m done talking and I want to be left alone that is what I meant. I tried to stay calm so I said aggravated “Please move out of my way, Quincy.”

He shook his head no still refusing to move. Being in his presence was aggravated the shit out of me. The more I kept having to look at his face the more furious I became. I tried to push past him and he kept blocking me so I smacked him with as much force I could muster up. He looked at me with fire in his eyes. I had to admit I did smack him pretty hard, and I hurt my own hand in the process. After I smacked him he grabbed me, and began shaking me hard as hell. I screamed for him to let me go, but he refused, holding onto me tightly. I was kicking and screaming, as he picked me up, holding onto me tightly. I was able get myself out of his grasp, and all I saw was red as I punched him right in the face.

As soon as I did, he instantly drew his hand back, and backhanded me in the face. He hit me with so much force that I spun around crashing head first into a wall. As soon as I hit the wall I came crashing down onto the floor. I was stunned for a minute he hit me pretty hard. As soon as I was able to collect myself I couldn’t believe he had hit me. The whole left side of my face felt like it was on fire. I looked up at him with hurt, and disbelief in my eyes. I mean, I’m smart enough to know you should never put your hands on a man if you’re not ready for the possibility of him hitting you back. I guess I was nowhere near ready for this reaction, and by the look on his face I guess he couldn’t believe it either.

He immediately rushed to my side reaching down to help me. But I whispered, “Don’t touch me, Quincy.” I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face. I never had a man hit me before. As I saw his hand coming down onto my face I had a flashback from when I was a little girl seeing my father abusing my mother. Growing up, witnessing my mom as a victim to domestic violence, traumatized me. I swore to myself I would never let that happen to me. I swore any man who ever put his hands on me would be dead before he even had the chance to apologize. But now here I am picking myself up off the floor. One of my biggest fears had just become my reality. I didn’t know what to do. The crazy side of me wanted to do my best to murder his ass.

I got up on my own feeling a little bit dizzy as I stumbled back on my feet. Q pleaded saying “Jasmine, I am so sorry, baby, you just kept hitting me, and I reacted. Please come here and let me look at your face. I didn’t mean it; I swear.”

I cried as I said “Please don’t, Q! Just don’t touch me! Just stay away from me.” I was in disbelief at what had just happened between us within 24 hours. How we ended up fighting one another, when last night we were making love. Through my tears I just said “It’s over, Quincy.”

He looked at me with disbelief as he said “I know that’s not how you really feel, Jasmine. You know I did not mean to hurt you. You hit me, and I reacted.”

I opened up the door about to walk out when he said “Jasmine, please don’t leave like this. I didn’t mean to hurt you; I swear to God I didn’t. You can’t always keep on running away from situations when you don’t wanna deal with them. Relationships are not easy. I love you, and I won’t let you walk away from me. Just please don’t end it like this. I know we can work this out.”

I ignored his pleas and proceeded to walk out of the door, unsure of what I was going to do next. As soon as I got inside my truck, I broke down crying and screaming. I was furious he had put his hands on me. I looked at my face and it was bright red. I felt my head and had a little bump on it from when I hit the wall. But after all the shit that just went down the first person that came to mind was Trey. Somehow all I wanted was for him to make it all better. He always knew what to say, and what to do when I was in hurting. He is the closet person that I have here who I knew I could trust when I’m a complete mess like I am now. So I decided to just go over to his house.

              After I left the house, Q grabbed his blackberry and called Lisa. She was laughing when she answered. He said annoyed “What the fuck is wrong with you? Why did you call, and tell my girl all that bullshit? What part of I don’t wanna fuck with you anymore don’t you get?”

She said “I don’t give a fuck about her, or your relationship with her. I just thought she should know about the other woman in your life who is carrying your child. It was obvious you were never planning on telling her the truth about me. Plus nobody told her to pick up your damn phone anyway. She got exactly what she was looking for if you really want to be honest. Did you really think I was going to let you get away with embarrassing me at the club last night? I really wanna know how she took the news? She probably left your dumb ass didn’t she? That’s why you’re calling me crying.” She laughed after her last comment.

Quincy said annoyed “So how about you tell me what you thought was going to happen? You thought that I was going to come running to you once my girl left me? Well I guess you must be feeling stupid as fuck right now! Guess what I still don’t want you! Despite what you think you have done to destroy my relationship. My girl will be right back with her man soon enough, and you will still be on the outside looking in. I will never wife a chick like you! The sooner you accept it the better off we will both be.”

He was blatantly disrespecting her at this point. She changed her tune as she said upset “Listen, Quincy you don‘t need to be with her. Why wasn‘t I the one you decided to make your girl? I mean we did everything together. We are so good together. I was there when the girl you were in love with broke your heart. I mean how many other ways could I have been there for you, Quincy? Then you go and meet this new bitch, and now you just flip on me like I ain’t shit! Nigga, you must be crazy if you thought I was gonna take that shit lightly. I mean who is this bitch anyway? Where did she even come from, and how did she get you sprung so fast?”

Quincy remained quiet so she kept on talking saying “Wow, so I just some random groupie chick to you now? So you spend thousands of dollars, and fuck all the groupies without a condom on? Because I am pretty sure that is just me you do that with. Please don’t try to play me. I will pull all your cards, and call your bluff. I have a lot of dirt on you, Quincy, that I’m sure wifey would just love to know about now. You think she hates you now after I’m done she will completely forget you even exist. I’m the wrong bitch to play with! I will make your life a living hell, and with this baby on the way take all of your money while I’m at it. You see I’m trying to be nice about this, but don’t turn me into the bitch that you know I could be!”

Quincy took a deep breath in trying to keep himself calm. Thinking about everything that she was saying made him want to choke her ass out. But in all reality this was all his fault. He fucked up by not using a condom with her. He just never took her as woman who would want a child. To be honest she never came across to him as the motherly type. All she cared about is material things, and what someone can do for her. Now she was pregnant with his child, and he knew she was going to make his life a living hell. The truth was he had been unfaithful. Jasmine was his woman, and Lisa was the mistress. Yes he does have some feelings for Lisa. He didn’t treat her like she was just a groupie that he fucked around with once in a while. But he never ever planned on ever making her his girl. He just couldn’t understand why she couldn’t just play her fucking position. They never even discussed relationships with one another. From the beginning they had an understanding that they were just having fun. No strings attached. Now all of a sudden she wants to declare her love for him. This could not have come at a worse time. He had just bought an engagement ring a week ago as he was planned on proposing to Jasmine. But after all the bullshit that just played out he had no clue if he would ever see her again let alone get her to marry him. There was no way possible that he would be able to divide up his time between two women. Not to mention this whole baby situation. Jasmine would never forgive him for having a baby on the side. If it turned out to be his baby then he would be a man and take care of his child.