Running Away From Love (24 page)

Mike said calmly “Listen man like I said to you before you can’t trying to rush and force this shit with Jasmine. It’s obvious that she still is in love with you, or else she wouldn’t have come running to you like she did. I’m going to be honest and say how you ended shit with her back in the day was real fucked up. I knew how much Jasmine loved you, and I used to tell you all of the time to man up and tell her what you was trying to do. Instead you basically kicked the girl out of your life without any remorse. You may not want to admit it but you were selfish as fuck when it came to her. You didn’t want a relationship with her, but you kept her close and hanging on so no other man could get your spot. Ya’ll reconnecting like this isn’t something the two of you expected. Shit I thought ya’ll was over once you broke it off before. I was kind of confused because you never even mentioned Jasmine once not even to me until you saw her that night. Shit I was confused as fuck when you said you wanted her back. What I suggest you do is take a step back, and put yourself in her shoes. You’re asking her to forgive and forget the fucked up shit that you did. Ask yourself honestly would you be so forgiving if she did that shit to you? Because if I know you like I know I do there would be no way in hell you would be giving any second chances. She would have been dead in your eyes if she ever fucked up like you did. You got to play the back on this one and try to have more patience with her. Honestly I think that ya’ll will get back together eventually, but it might take some time. You got to let her figure this out on her own. You might even have to just completely leave her alone, and let her get her shit right.”

Trey listened and began to think about the whole situation all over again. Mike was right. It was a difficult situation to be in when it came to Jasmine’s position in all this. He had to acknowledge what he did to Jasmine in the past was some unforgiveable shit. But Trey had no doubt in his mind that they were meant to be together. You can’t deny a connection like the one that they shared.

So he said “Yeah, your right. Man, if I could take back how I handled shit with her back then I would. Now that I think about it man she was really a great woman to me. We were just so young when we met. We were so serious at such a young age I needed time to grow as a man. I guess I just didn’t know how to explain that to her so she wouldn’t have been so hurt in the end.”

Trey laughed before he said “Shit I wonder what Jasmine is going to say once she finds out that me and her dude got into it. But I know his ass will think twice before ever putting his hands on her again.”

Mike laughed as he said “Man I ain’t never seen you that mad before.” They both laughed as Mike drove him home. Something about that night with Jasmine kept bothering him, but he couldn’t figure out what it was. Then he finally remembered what it was. They didn’t use a condom, and he definitely made no attempts to pull out either. After the thought came into his mind he began to think of the possibility that Jasmine could end up pregnant with his child again. This time if she was carrying his child he would not make the same mistake twice. If she needed time to figure things out then he was going to try to give it to her. But when it is all said and done she would find her way back to him.

              As soon as my flight landed back in Buffalo I felt a little bit at ease. My mind was constantly in a state of chaos and confusion. The question that was haunting me most was who I am supposed to be with. I really just needed some kind of insight as to where I go from here. Because right now I have no clue what I’m doing. If anyone can give me perspective its London. She knows me inside and out, and I never have to worry about her holding anything back. She will always tell me the truth, and whether I’m right or wrong. I would normally talk to my mom about things like this. But I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t be able to handle this situation. I don’t want her to worry about me not being safe. She will flip out if she found out that Q put his hands on me. Then my brother, cousins, and uncles would be on the next flight out turning NYC upside down. I wanted to avoid the drama with getting my family involved. Plus I didn’t want my family to hate him if I did decide to get back together with him.

              I saw London pull up, and I snapped out of my thoughts as I went outside to greet her. She looked so beautiful. A lot of people thought London and I were sisters. She was my height, and we also shared the same chocolate brown complexion. But there were many differences between us. She had a pair of C cup breasts, and I am barely filling out a B cup, but I have hips and a nice size ass. London has no hips or ass at all. Her hair flowed past her shoulders in a jet black color. She also had these beautiful hazel eyes. An amazing glow was radiating off of her, and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that at this moment I was kind of envious of her. I desperately wanted to feel as happy as she was right now. It was the pregnancy glow mixed with the head over heels in love glow. I didn’t want to mess up her mood with all of my drama and issues. So I did my best to cover up my bruised face, and force a believable smile onto my face.

She ran over to me and we embraced in a much needed hug. It felt like we hadn’t seen each other in years. I pulled away so I could get a good look at her belly. She was nothing but belly from what I could see. I laughed as I said “You’re nothing but belly, what were you stressing about? You barely even gained any weight. But damn your breast look like double d’s though.”

She laughed as she said “Thank goodness I haven’t gained a lot of weight. I really don’t want to be a complete fat ass on my wedding day. But enough about me look at you Ms. New York City. The city has you looking amazing. Okay, it’s official; you really are Buffalo’s very own black Carrie Bradshaw. You look so stylish girl. That ball player money you spending must be good to you.”

              I just laughed at her comment. She always swore that I was just like Carrie Bradshaw from the TV show Sex and the City. I used to ask who my Mr. Big was, but everyone instantly answered that it was Trey. I guess our relationship was similar to theirs. He most definitely was my weakness. Always back and forth with me and him. I would call her Charlotte, and our other friend Kelinda was Miranda. We used to joke around and call ourselves the Sex and the City girls.

I said “I am nowhere near Carrie Bradshaw level; I gotta step my shoe game up 1000 percent.” As I said that a breeze came, and blew my hair away exposing my bruised face. I tried my best to conceal it before she saw it, but it was too late. Her jaw almost hit the floor as soon as she saw my face.

She grabbed my face and yelled “Jasmine what the hell happened to your face? Did that nigga put his hands on you?”

I removed my face from her grasp and said in a hushed voice “London, please be quiet and calm down. I do not need you all upset when you’re pregnant. You know that is not good for you and the baby. I am fine. Right now isn’t the time, or place to even talk about this.”

I walked over to her car opened up her trunk, and put my bag inside. I said “I just need to take a shower and then we can go get some lunch, and we can talk about it there.”

She finally came out of her state of shock and said “I’m so mad that you’re so damn calm right now! I’m ready to catch the next flight out to beat his ass my damn self!”

I got inside the car and tried to stay calm. I was dreading having to repeat this story to another soul. It’s like if I talk about it then that makes it all real. And if it’s real it means that I really have to deal with it.

              We ended up going to lunch at Left Bank restaurant. We stayed in this restaurant like every other weekend when I still lived here. I know after this conversation I’m going to need a drink. The waiter brought us our bread he was a very cute white guy. I had to do a double take as I looked at him. His smile and eyes were what was most attractive to me. He must have caught me staring, and he flirted with me a little bit. Kept holding my stare, and smiling at me nonstop. I just smiled back at him and ordered a glass of wine. I could feel London burning a damn hole in my head waiting for me to begin talking. I wanted to mess with her a tad bit longer, but I knew she was going to explode in a second.

So she said “Now I know why you came home so damn early. You’re running away from shit that happened. Now I need you to tell me what the hell is going on, Jasmine.”

Before I could begin to talk the waiter came back, and placed my glass down in front of me. He also placed a plate of fresh baked bread down on the table as well. We placed our order before our conversation began. I sipped my wine before I even began to speak. I was still trying to make sense of this in my own mind. It’s ten times harder trying to explain it to someone else when I haven’t even come to terms with it myself.

              I said “It’s such a long ass story London I really don’t want to repeat. But to make a long story short, Q and I got into a fight over this chick named Lisa. The chick calls his phone and I answer. She goes on to tell me how she been messing with Q for a couple years, and how she is pregnant with his child. So I confronted him and of course he denied it all. I tried to leave the house because I was pissed off, but he refused to let me leave. So I spazzed out and hit him in the face. After I hit him he smacked me. That is part one of my fucked up story.

“The second part is after he hit me I left our house. I didn’t have anywhere to go, and I didn’t want Talisha to see me like that. So I decided to go over to Trey’s place. I was a nervous wreck about it. I didn’t know how he would react to seeing me there after the little fight we had before. When he saw my face he was ready to fight Quincy. But I was able to calm him down, and talked him out of it. So for the most part we just sat there and talked to each other. He sat there and listened to me vent about my issues with Q. I was ready to leave, but he wanted me to stay the night so he knew that I was safe. I agreed to stay, and next thing I know I’m having a complete emotional breakdown in his arms. I’m not only talking about my issues with Q, but him as well. I don’t know why I did it, but I kissed him. One thing lead to another we ended up having sex.

“In all honesty it was the best sex of my life. It was like every emotion that I could possibly feel came rushing over me in that moment with him. He kept telling me how much he loved me. At first I didn’t say anything, but I eventually ended up giving in. What I’m trying to come to terms with is I actually meant it when I said I loved him. I fell asleep in his arms and bed that night, but when I woke up the next morning I just couldn’t face him. I had no idea what to say to him. I know after the night that we shared he would be expecting more, and I’m not so sure that’s what I want to give him. So I wrote him a quick note, and slipped out before he woke up. Now, here I am telling you all of this shit.

“Q is going to flip the hell out if he finds out about what went happened between me and Trey. But a part of me really doesn’t give a fuck, because it felt so damn right. Me not having one single regret about what happened between Trey and I is what’s been on my mind the heaviest. Before my fight with Quincy I thought that I was over Trey, but I immediately ran to him after my fight with Q. My head is such a mess right now, and I feel messy as fuck for what I have allowed to happen.”

              London just sat there very still for silent for a while. I could tell that she needed a minute to process everything that I had just explained. I took another sip of my wine as the waiter brought out our food.

I decided to break our silence as I said “I know I have made a big ass mess of things. Just go ahead and just say it.” I began to eat my food nervous as to what she was going to say.

She sighed before she spoke up. She said “Damn Jasmine this is some heavy and confusing shit! How the hell you go from fighting with Q to sexing Trey?”

I rolled my eyes as I said “If I knew the reason, I wouldn’t be here right now. I know I fucked up though. I should have never even gone over there to see Trey in the first damn place. I just complicated shit even more for myself.”

She said “In all honesty you running to Trey had to be for a reason. Everyone who knows you know that you never got over Trey, Jasmine. You just chose to ignore and hide your real feelings about Trey. After what you just explained it’s simple as hell you’re still in love with that man. Now I never been Trey’s biggest fan after all the shit that you and him been through. But even a blind man can tell you two will never let each other go. In regards to this Quincy situation there is never any excuse for a man putting his hands on a woman. You both have the ability to make each other so angry that it can resort to something physical, and that is not a good thing for either of you. It’s almost like your chemistry is so strong that it can be toxic. Yes, you were also wrong for putting your hands on him in the first place, Jasmine, and you know it. I’ve known you long enough to know you want to be left alone you’re pissed off, and obviously he doesn’t know that. In the end, he was wrong for putting his hands on you.

“I cannot tell you what to do in this situation, but I will tell you to just be honest with yourself. Follow and actually listen to your heart, Jasmine. You’re always trying overthinking everything, and you ignore the most important piece of the equation which is your heart. Don’t go back and try to make it work with Q because he seems right in your head. Pick the man that feels right in your heart. You cannot be with a man unless he truly is the only thing besides God who resides in your heart. Just know that I support your decisions regardless of what you ultimately decide to do. I do think Quincy is a really good guy, but after what happened I’m not sure he’s right man for you. You can never seem to get rid of Trey. The odds of you two running into each other in a big ass city like New York is not a coincidence. I have always been on fate. Now even me Trey’s biggest skeptic is starting to think that you two really are soulmates. With that idea alone is something that you need to give some serious consideration to, Jas.”