Saint's Sacrament - Sins of the Father (43 page)

He took a sip of his
wine; the sweet and delicate flavor coated his pallet as he swallowed, relishing the fruity flavor.

“Shit
.” Lawrence lay back in the seat, a huge grin on his face. “I’m going to be a father…wow, man. This is the best night of my life.”

Saint and Jagger joined him in his excitement.

“There’s nothing like it, Lawrence. Your life will never be the same…in a good way, that is.”

Lawrence nodded. “I’m looking forward to it. It’s different when you are trying, you know? I had pretty much accepted that it wasn’t going to happen without some medical intervention of some sort. What a beautiful surprise…”

The three men nodded, dancing around words left unsaid.

“I plan to speak to her again, Saint. Now that we have a baby coming, it puts things even more in perspective. I want her to see me as her husba
nd, not her child. She’s scared and she’s insecure. I promise you that I’ve never cheated on my wife or done anything to make her feel that way.”

“Baggage.” Jagger cleared his throat. “She’s got baggage, like what Saint was talking about at the Queendom conference.”

“It’s not just women…” Saint shot Jagger a look, one laced with warning.

“I know that.” Jagger grimaced. “I’m not jumping on her, just stating what you’d said.”

“I know, but my point is, you should understand all the better because you can identify with that woman’s struggle. Didn’t you protect your brothers? Didn’t you step in and play daddy because your father wouldn’t? Didn’t your bad marriage cause you to rear back from love, until you accepted that you wanted to be in love again, and all that entailed? The shit will eat up a person alive. People who are afraid put up walls. People who are afraid try to act tough, are judgmental and act like Donna. And also like you behaved, Jagger, when you first arrived here in town.”

Jagger nodded in agreement.

“Donna is afraid of losing Lawrence for some reason, or she wouldn’t be behaving like this. She
has
to be in control, just like he said. If not, she feels vulnerable, maybe even useless.”

Everyone was quiet again for a
while. Saint narrowed his eyes.

“She admitted she didn’t like me.” He chuckled.

“I know. She tells me practically every week she doesn’t like you.” Lawrence grinned, taking another small sip of his wine. “I don’t think that’s it though. I think, because Donna has somewhat feminist views, she sees you like an anti-feminist. She believes that if she embraces you and likes you, it will negate what she stands for.”

“Hmmm, interesting.” Saint took another sip from his glass. “Women who despise me, or claim to, in my observation
, do have feminist leanings yet they feel they can be empowered only if the man is de-powered or dethroned, castrated in some way.”

Lawrence twisted his lips in disbelief.

“I’m serious. They don’t say have to say it; their actions demonstrate it. The first thing they want to do is tell me how they don’t need me and guys like me.” Saint laughed. “Good. It wouldn’t be a match made in heaven. What ticks me off about this ideology is that some of these women who hold tight to these beliefs, want all the good shit that comes with being a feminist, but not the stuff that doesn’t feel good. Like wanting to be treated as an equal, but still wanting someone to open the door for them, or to stay at home if they choose while the man works and all that other bullshit. No, if you want to act like you have a goddamn cock,” he laughed mirthlessly, “then by all means, get your ass up and do some construction job, get sweaty and funky and then come home and eat the dinner your husband cooked and fix the broken down jalopy in the garage. Then turn your feminist ass around and kill the spiders ’nd shit around the house. They fall into the stereotypes I mentioned. They fall right in, because to them, being a man is better, so that is what they aspire to. They hate their damned ovaries, but want guys like me to grovel at their feet because they have the sons of bitches… Doesn’t work like that, man.”

Lawrence watched him intensely as he rambled.

“But nah, not many of them want that. It is their way, or no way. Xenia has some feminist views, too, but she still respects me, so we get along just fine. She doesn’t feel the need to try to devalue me in order to make herself feel more important. She’s still feminine. She doesn’t try to look or behave like a man and she still gets her point across that she isn’t taking any shit, just because she is a woman. I respect her a hell of a lot for that, a hell of a lot. The whole thing is bullshit.” He took a gulp of his wine.

“You know
.” Jagger leaned to the side and relaxed. “Traci and I were talking about that one day. She said she doesn’t think feminism fits into the world of a black woman. I didn’t really see where she was going with that.”

“Traci is a smart woman. I can tell you exactly what she meant, Jagger.
The feminist movement was created
by
white women
for
white women, and the headhunters of that war will always see black women as outsiders that they can use when it fits their agenda but anyway…” He waved off his sidetracking. “The point is, some fail to understand I’m
not
against women doing anything they want to do. Having a dick doesn’t mean I’m smarter than a woman. I just feel we are different, and we are different for a reason and instead of running from the shit, or trying to out-do one another, we should embrace it. If we were just alike, you wouldn’t have transgender people trying to match their outside bodies with what is going on inside. Anyway, enough of that, this conversation has gone all over the world. Lawrence, my concern is that you will break. You are not the person many people think you are.”

“You’ve nailed it. You got that right. I’ve warned many people about this
,” Jagger offered as he shot his friend a glance.

“What do you mean?” Lawrence cleared his throat nervously
. His long black hair cascaded over one shoulder as he leaned slightly forward.

“Don’t play with me, man.” Saint grinned, leaning back in his seat. “Lawrence, weaklings could never hang with me. You allow me to read you, and I’ve seen it. You don’t take any shit
, except from your wife. A person may think they’ve gotten over, but they haven’t. You are not like Jagger and me, but you use what you have and make that shit magical and quite frankly, you have the intelligence men dream of. You have the patience to see the retaliation through—calculated, well planned, fermenting revenge.” Saint smirked at the man as his eyes narrowed. Visions of Lawrence exacting his brand of justice on various guys briefly clouded Saint’s mind. Rarely violent, usually clean and precise, but the job was always complete. Lawrence had been ridding the world of evil for a long ass time and it hated his guts. “Just when your victim thinks you’ve forgotten about it…boom!” Saint struck the table with his fist. “They wake up wishing they hadn’t woken up at all…”

Lawrence didn’t dare make eye contact. He merely looked down into the sweet burgundy wine, sloshed it about, an all-knowing smirk on his face.

“I knew you knew, Saint.”

“I know you did.”

“That’s in my past, however. I’ve tried to elevate beyond that. I’ve tried to be a better person. Those people had harmed others, and I took care of the situation, but, sometimes I wonder if I should’ve handled it differently. It always bothered me how I never lost sleep over it. I suppose that is our nature.”

“You
are
a better person. You have been my teacher, saved my life with your knowledge and helped me defend my family.” Saint’s voice shook with emotion, the alcohol making his tongue loose and his feelings tangible. “So, what will make
this
better is for a new approach with Donna because we understand,”—he gave both men a serious look—“that our women have
got
to get along and she never has to like me, but she has to respect me and she has to understand that I love her husband like a brother and would never do anything to hurt him or her.”

Lawrence
’s face reddened as Saint spread the love, regardless that it was expressed through inebriation.

Saint sighed and
downed the last swig of liquor before continuing.

“Our Queens are our foundation. They have to be happy and healthy. Lawrence, I’m going to be honest with you
—you’re starting to look sleep deprived. You’ve got a baby coming now, it won’t get easier. Once that baby is born, you will never sleep the way you did before their arrival. Not just because they are crying and wanting something all hours of the day and night, but because you have to sleep with one eye open to make sure they are always safe, protected. They can be fifty years old, and you will
still
worry about them. So, we’ve got to address this shit right now. How would you like to go about it?”

“Well, I will have a discussion with her this evening.”

“A discussion with who?” Donna and Xenia re-entered the room, only this time, Donna had a bag full of baby items Xenia had gotten and no doubt forced the poor woman to accept.

The men looked around at one another.

“Donna, we need to talk. Let’s get ready to go.” Lawrence stood and gave Saint and Jagger a hug, ignoring the death glare from his wife.

“Talk about what?”
Her voice trailed, concern in her eyes.

“Uh, Donna, congrats again and I meant what I said. Call me anytime with questions. I’ve been through this three times, I’m here for you
,” Xenia announced.

Lawrence took Donna by the arm and led her
to the front door. Obviously confused, the woman looked over her shoulder. “Oh, yes, okay Xenia. Thanks! I had a great time.”

And before long, the front door closed. Xenia crossed her arms and smiled.

“I don’t know what you three were in here cooking up, but I’ve already taken care of it.” She walked toward the refrigerator and took out a slice of cherry pie, carefully wrapped up for her to savor in the late night hour.

“You are stashing pie away!” Saint pointed angrily at the plate, as if it were mocking him. “You said all the pie was gone
when I asked you about it. I didn’t get any…can I have a bite of yours?” he begged like a child.

“I suppose.” Xenia shrugged as she pulled a fork out of the drawer. Saint could see from her plumped cheeks, though her back was turned, that the woman was smiling, enjoying the culinary torment.

“Saint! Forget the damn pie! Xenia, what do you mean you’ve already taken care of it?” Jagger questioned, his nosiness getting the better of him.

“I had
a talk with Donna about how she treats Lawrence and her regard of my husband. She let some things slip out this evening that I didn’t appreciate. There is no need for me to repeat it. But instead of jumping on her about it, I decided to speak to her straight up, woman to woman. We see eye to eye now. With this baby coming, and as close as you three are, she needed to accept that you all aren’t going anywhere. You’ve got a pact and she, myself and Traci are your equals as well as helpmates. We have to work together. That doesn’t make us lesser than, it means we need to embrace our Queendom.” Xenia laughed. “I implored her to come to some meetings. She needs to meet Valerie—now that’s a woman with some class and knows how to be strong and refined at the same time. Donna needs to see what this is all about and that we, as wives of Angel Children, need a support system. I don’t think you guys understand how you have our blood pressure up on a daily basis!” Saint looked at his wife, completely stunned.

“
Once Traci is on board, we will have just that in each other and as time passes, I hope there will be more of us that can lean on one another. It’s not easy being married to men like you and I swear, I think you all sometimes forget that.” She finally turned around, facing the two of them. She slowly approached Saint, pressed her thumb on his chin, forcing his mouth open, and slid the forkful of sticky, sweet cherries and homemade buttery crust inside. He closed his eyes and moaned, as if he were having an orgasm.

“You have a terrible sweet tooth
today, Saint. I mean, it is straight up awful. I must be rubbing off on you.”

He swallowed and wrapped his arm possessively around her waist
. “Can I taste the
other
cherry pie tonight?” he whispered in her ear, causing her to blush and squirm in his grip.

Jagger cleared his throat, reminding the couple he was
present. “I don’t know what you said, but by the look on Xenia’s face, it was something X-rated. In any case, let me get out of here. It’s getting late. Hopefully Traci didn’t lose all of her money playing dominos with Ms. Pam.” He headed out the kitchen doors.

The two of them stayed there, looking at one another, both wearing
designer grins. He stood and held her close.

“You are incredible, you know that?”
He rubbed his nose against hers, then slipped his tongue inside her mouth. Saint’s fingers ran through the thick, coiled strands of her hair, gripping her hard and fast to him, fastening her to his frame as he devoured her lips, and his cock swelled against her lower stomach.

“Sometimes it takes a woman’s touch…”
She pushed away shyly, gasping for air, but he grabbed her again and pulled her close before leaning back and giving her a sly wink.