Salvaged Soul (The Ignited Series Book 3) (24 page)

In that instant, I knew that the potion had not worked. Not like it had for Lillian. I could feel my inner Skotadi straining to burst free. I held her in check—a feat only made possible by the charm I still wore around my neck. I had no doubt that I was still very much a Skotadi at my core.

Of all the people to make me realize that, and it had to be Nathan. The one who I had entrusted with my whole heart . . . and soul.

I slowly turned to face him, but kept my eyes down to conceal the devastation that I knew he would see in them.

“Kris, I’m sorry,” he said. “I will tell her. I’m just not sure she’s ready to hear it yet.”

“It didn’t work,” I muttered.

His head shook once in confusion. “What? What didn’t work?”

“The potion.” Gritting my teeth, I took a step back, away from him.

When I finally met his gaze, his eyes widened at what he saw. My eyes had already been Skotadi gold, but now? Now I knew that they were surging. I spun away, intent on getting as far away from Nathan as I could. I didn’t get far before he hooked my arm. As he twirled me toward him, his mouth opened, but I would never know what excuse he had to give.

“Let me go.” I attempted to rip my arm out of his hold, but he was too strong. “Let go of my arm.
Now
.” I tried again, harder, and this time I pulled free.

“Kris . . .” He took a step forward, narrowing the space between us, and I held out a hand to stop him from coming any closer.

“I need some time alone,” I said.

This time, he let me go. With each step, I expected him to stop me, but he didn’t, and by the time I pushed through the doors of the Education Building, I was practically running. 

I didn’t know where I would go. All I knew was that I needed to put some distance between Nathan and me. For one, after the incident a few months ago when I had nearly killed him, I didn’t want him around me ever again when my Skotadi pushed for control of my
body . . . and right now, I shook with the struggle to keep her from taking over. Secondly, he had been the one to push me to this point, and because of that, I didn’t want to look at him.

I marched through the village center in a blind rage. I didn’t realize where I had ended up until I knocked on a door, and Alec’s face appeared in front of me.

He took one look at me, and said, “Whoa. Get in here.”

I crossed the room with long angry strides, but when I turned and saw the concern on Alec’s face, I crumbled. In an instant, Alec wrapped an arm across my shoulders and sat me down on the edge of the bed.

Then I told him everything. From my initial concerns about Nathan’s past with Lillian, to his promise that nothing would change between us, to the realization that, despite his promise, things were changing. I felt it, I saw it. I had feared it would happen, and it was happening. 

My shoulders sagged in defeat once I finished my rant, and I realized that the anger, and my Skotadi’s presence, had diminished in the process. Now, I felt nothing but sadness.

“Let’s go for a walk,” Alec suggested lightly.

I sniffed. “A walk?”

“Yeah.” He pulled on my arm as he moved the door. “Come on.”

As we walked through the village center, with Bruce and Kim trailing us, Alec gave me his blunt opinion.

“Nathan would be an idiot to screw things up with you,” he said.

I laughed. “You’re so good with words, Alec.”

“I’m serious though. He knows how lucky he is.” Alec’s voice took on a distant, soft tone that made me turn to look at him. He quickly threw me off with an easy smile. “I think you should give him the benefit of the doubt.”

“Coming from you, that’s saying something.”

Alec smirked. “Don’t tell him I said that.”

We continued in silence a few more minutes before I realized where we had ended up. I sucked in a sharp breath as a small wave of water lapped over my feet.

“Did you mean to come here?” I asked Alec as I stared out at the ocean.

“No.” He glanced over his shoulder at Bruce and Kim, who stood several yards behind us. “But pretend we meant to do this.”

I didn’t feel the intense pull now, not like I had that first night, but I knew something had drawn us to the beach . . . again. Something—something just out of my sight—waited for us, and would come for us soon.

I bumped Alec’s arm as I blindly reached for his hand. Without a word, he took it, and the warmth of his hand chased away the chills.

Though I feared the unknown that awaited us on the horizon, I felt empowered by the fact that I wasn’t alone. I had Alec, and we would face it together.

Chapter 24

{Nathan}

My alarm sounded at its normal time, and I rolled over to smack the snooze button. I laid there in a state of semi-awareness for the entire ten minutes before the buzzer went off again. This time, I sat up, put my feet on the floor, and rubbed my head as if that could wake me up.

I needed a haircut.

I needed to fix everything with Kris.

Shit. I needed more sleep.

It wouldn’t have been so bad if I hadn’t been out until six in the morning with a small team, gathering Intel on the Skotadi on the mainland. It had been a bullshit assignment. In my opinion, a huge waste of time. But I had my orders and, according to Supervisor Jeffries, if I wanted to stay on the island, I needed to obey them.

It hadn’t been completely bogus, I supposed. We now had an idea of how many Skotadi had assembled—at least five hundred from our observations—and the locations of three of their hideouts. But that was all we had learned. We still knew nothing about why they were there, or what their plans were.

Definitely not worth the exhaustion I was left with this morning.

And . . . it had prevented me from mending things with Kris last night.

Granted, she hadn’t been in her room when I stopped by. I tried not to obsess over where she could have been. When I had finally crawled into bed this morning, I decided that it might have been a good thing, not seeing her yet. It would be better if I had resolved the issue with Lillian before I saw Kris again.

So that was my goal today. To make sure Lillian knew
everything
. And
then
mend things with Kris.

Because I had slept in as late as possible, I missed the usual breakfast hour, and grabbed an old pastry on my way to class. Afterwards, I didn’t need to worry about finding Lillian.

She had made a habit of stopping by after class, and this morning was no different. But instead of going straight to lunch, I suggested we take a walk. We ended up on the pier—a short one unlike those found on most tourist beaches, but it provided us with enough privacy for the conversation I intended to have.

But before we got to that, I wanted to talk to her about something else that had been on my mind.

“Have you remembered anything else about your Incantation abilities?”

“You mean as far as what I did to your friend?” Lillian eyed the horizon as she tucked a chunk of hair, blown free by the breeze, behind her ear. “No, I don’t remember anything about that yet.”

I looked down to hide my disappointment. It wasn’t Lillian’s fault, but I was growing more impatient with each passing day—only out of concern for Callie. Though the doctor insisted she was being kept alive by something unnatural, none of us knew how much time she actually had left.

“I’ve tried doing a few basic spells,” Lillian continued. “Can’t do much of anything, it seems. It’s like I could only do it as a Skotadi.”

I had wondered about that myself—how Lillian had become an Incantator in the first place. It wasn’t a skill she’d had as a Kala. But I hoped it was something she would continue to have the ability to do, for Callie’s sake.

And that was assuming Lillian’s memory returned, and she knew how to help Callie.

“How’s the rest of your memory coming along?”

We had reached the end of the pier and I leaned against the railing on my forearms to look down at the water below. Beside me, Lillian rested her elbows on the railing, facing the other direction.

“It’s coming in flashes. A little bit at a time, but nothing I can connect together yet.”

I hesitated to consider my next words. I didn’t want to scare her away, but I needed to know. “But you pieced something together the other day. In the mess hall.”

She diverted her eyes, and I knew my intuition had been right.

“What is it, Lil?” I pressed softly. “You know you can trust me.”

Her head bobbed slowly before her gaze lifted to meet mine. “I’m not really sure, to be honest with you. I don’t completely remember, but when you mentioned Circe and the potential spell, something registered.”

“A memory?”

“Yes . . . and no. More like a feeling of déjà vu,” she murmured. “Like I was familiar with the spell, and with Circe, but I have no real memory of either. Do you think . . .” Lillian trailed off with a shake of her head. “No, forget it.”

“What?” I grabbed her shoulder, forcing her to look at me. “Tell me.”

“It was a
bad
feeling, Nathan,” she eventually said. “I’m not so sure that this potential spell is going to produce the result you’re hoping for. I’m not sure Circe had the best intentions when she gave it to you.”

“She’s a goddess,” I returned with a little more vehemence than I had intended. “They need Kris . . .” I trailed off, and decided to drop it. I didn’t want to get into it what all I had learned about Kris from the gods. Not now. Not with Lillian. I hadn’t even talked to Kris about everything yet.

Besides, as far as Kris went, there was only one thing Lillian needed to know.

I shot Lillian a smile in the hopes that it would offset my near-asshole moment. “Let’s not talk about that stuff right now, okay?”

Lillian sagged in relief, and her eyes held mine for a second too long, forcing me to look away first. Shit. This was going to be hard.

I actually felt my heart pounding in my chest, and heard the blood rushing to my head. My hands were damp when I rubbed them together, and I had to swallow a few times to dislodge the lump that had formed in my throat.

“Hey, Lil, I need to . . .” I started at the same time Lillian said, “Do you think it’s
possible . . .”

We both stopped and looked at each other. “Go ahead,” I said.

Lillian hesitated, then looked down at the water lapping against the pier beneath us. “I know you’re not in the same place we were seven years ago, but . . . do you think it would be possible for us to get there again, maybe start over?”

I grimaced.
Damn, I should have gone first
. My mouth opened to answer her, to say the words quickly—like ripping off a band aid—but they hung up in my throat.

Lillian misunderstood my hesitation, and turned to mirror me, excitement lighting up her eyes. “I know we could get back there again . . .” And then she did the last thing I expected her to do.

She stepped into me . . . and kissed me.

Her lips were on mine for only a second before my brain caught up to what was happening. Though something familiar that had been dormant for a long time stirred at the contact, something much stronger stomped it out.

My feelings for Kris were too strong. What I had with her was too real. 

I pulled away from Lillian immediately, the words finally ready. But as my mouth opened to say them, a streak of color out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. I turned my head toward the other end of the pier in time to see a blur of strawberry blonde darting off the beach.

I left Lillian standing there as I took off in a run.

{Kris}

I fought back the tears as I ran through the village center, with Kim hurrying to keep up with me. She had seen them kissing too, and when I had turned to leave, the pitied look on her face said it all.

Stupid me . . . I had been sitting at lunch, wondering where Nathan was, and wanting to see him after our argument yesterday. I had wanted to apologize for running off yesterday, to tell him I forgave him for not telling Lillian everything, and to let him know that I would let him take as much time as he needed to tell her. Micah had said he saw Nathan walking towards the beach, so I stupidly went there looking for him.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. I should have known.

I finally reached my room, and slammed the door shut behind me, leaving Kim in the hallway. Only then did I crumble to my bed and let the tears fall.

A moment later, a soft knock pulled my face out of the pillow. Suspecting Kim, I opened the door.

It was Nathan. “Kris—”

I slammed the door in his face, and locked it. I had seen him break a door down once before, so I stayed there, both hands splayed against the door as if I could will it to stay shut.

Instead of ramming the door, he knocked again. “Kris, let me in.”

I stared at the tiny swirls in the grain of the wooden door, and listened. I almost willed Kim to say something, to stand up for me, to be the girl in another girl’s corner.

I heard no voices, but another knock vibrated the wood under my hands. “Come on, Kris. Please?”

Nothing. I said nothing. I had nothing to say. I was in too much shock. I had heard the expression before, but never understood until this moment. I was actually shocked speechless.

I heard muffled voices on the other side of the door, but couldn’t make out what was said. I pressed my ear to the door, but only heard silence. The hallway was silent. After a moment, I backed away from the door.

That was it? He left?

Granted, I didn’t want to see him, but the fact that he wasn’t fighting harder—fighting for me—stung a little. Almost as much as the reason I was upset with him in the first place.

Images of what I had witnessed on the pier played through my head like a movie, just as painful now as it had been then. The tears that stung my eyes now were fresh.

I went to the bathroom for a tissue, and grimaced at my reflection in the mirror.

This is what I have been reduced to? A tear-stricken weakling? Over a boy?

Granted, Nathan wasn’t just any . . . boy. No. I was in love with him in the way I had always imagined love was supposed to be like—like I saw in the cheesy romantic comedies Callie used to make me watch. I had thought he was the real deal. I had thought that he would never, ever, hurt me. He had promised me . . .

Belatedly, I realized that my Skotadi wasn’t even straining to make her opinion known. No. She was quiet because I wasn’t really mad right now. I was upset. I was sad. My heart was
crushed
.

By the one person I thought I could trust.

Once the rolling, uncontrollable sobs had quieted to an occasional sniffle, I splashed cold water on my face to wash away the redness and cool my puffy eyes. As I patted my face dry with a towel, I heard the balcony door sliding shut.

My stomach dropped.
He wouldn’t . . .

Then he was there, standing in the open bathroom door like he had every right to be there.

“Get out,” I demanded.

He shook his head. “Not until you talk to me.”

I didn’t want to talk to him. Not now. Not after what I saw. I didn’t even want to look at him right now, but his wide stance made it clear that he wasn’t about to go anywhere.

“Fine. I’ll leave.” I marched the short distance to the doorway, and wiggled through the narrow space between him and the doorjamb. He let me get as far as the bed before he moved to stop me.

One of his arms encircled my waist, and his fingers dug into my hip with the strain of holding me back. “What are you doing? Where are you going to go?”

Despite my best attempts at resisting, he managed to spin me around to face him. Fine. He wanted me to look at him? I would do the next best thing.

I lifted up onto my tiptoes so that we were nearly eye to eye, and sneered, “Anywhere but here! I don’t want to see you. I can’t stand to look at you right now.”

I shoved against his chest in another attempt to dislodge myself from his hold. Of course, he was built like a tree, and didn’t budge an inch.

“I don’t care.”

I scoffed. “That’s obvious.”

His eyes squeezed shut with a sigh and he shook his head. “Kris, you don’t know—”

“I’d rather be spared the details. Thank you.”

Again, I pressed my palms against his chest. This time, a little bit of angry-Skotadi strength seeped through, and I managed to push him back a step. Enough to rip myself out of his grasp.

I made it three steps before two hands came down on my waist. Before I could wiggle free, my feet were lifted off the floor and my back was pulled against an unyielding chest. The room spun as he hurled me back into the room. I didn’t let it happen without a fight—complete with kicking the air and clawing at the arms around my middle.

Nathan’s response was to toss me on the bed like a rag doll. Before I could scramble to my feet, he was on me, straddling my legs with his weight. He seemed intent on not letting me up, but that didn’t stop me from trying. As his hold on me tightened, my anger intensified and my strength increased. Soon . . . soon I would be able to put up a decent fight. He couldn’t hold me down forever.

He seemed to realize that too, and there was desperation in his eyes as he pleaded, “Listen to me, Kris! Nothing happened!”

I lifted onto my elbows, nearly touching my nose to his. “I saw you!”

“It wasn’t what you think. It—”

I shoved his shoulders, nearly catching him off guard. He recovered quickly, grabbed ahold of my wrists and pinned them above my head.