Sapphire and Shadow (A Woman's Life) (16 page)

“Oh,” Jocelyn suddenly remembered, “she said something about having a date.”

Shoes were forgotten. “And she left you?”

Jocelyn shrugged. She felt defensive for her friend, even though the feeling of having been deserted was there. “So did you.”

“Yes, but I left you with someone and I didn’t intend to be gone all night. Megan was supposed to stay with you, or at least let me know that she intended to go out so I could stay with you.”

“Would you have?”

She was surprised by the question and the edge in Jocelyn’s voice. “Of course I would have.”

“Even though you had a date?”

“Jocelyn,” Johanna took the girl’s hands into hers, “I didn’t have a date.”

“You picked him up?” Jocelyn asked incredulously.

Sometimes, Johanna felt that her daughter was growing up too fast. “No, I told you, Tommy is a friend of mine. The car broke down and, luckily for both of us,” she emphasized the last part of her statement, “he just happened by. He called the tow truck and brought me back to the hotel.” She looked down at Jocelyn’s bare feet. “I guess that’ll be all right. I’ll ring for the nurse and she’ll bring a wheelchair.”

“A wheelchair? Why?”

“So that you can ride down to the first floor in style. Besides, you have no shoes. You were so sick, I never even stopped to think about shoes.” She smoothed back the hair from her daughter’s face and then brushed a kiss over the top of her head. “I love you, Jocey.”

Jocelyn touched her mother’s arm. “Yeah, me too.”

Tommy brought them back to the hotel room and endeared himself to Jocelyn by carrying her from his car to her suite. The last time, she had barely been conscious. This time, she reveled in the deed the way only a young girl on the threshold of womanhood could.

He brought her back to her bedroom and Jocelyn did her best to flirt with him. She was definitely on the way to recovery, Johanna thought. Tommy took the time to make sure that she was comfortable and had everything she needed before he said goodbye.

“I think she’s lost her heart to you,” Johanna confided as she accompanied him back to the front door.

“She’s a special girl.” Tommy rested his hand on the doorknob. “Like her mother.”

Johanna looked down, momentarily flustered. He made her forget that she was who she was and that he was a young carpenter who had no business in her life. But he was there all the same and she was glad of it.

“I don’t know what to say, Tommy. Thank you seems so inadequate.”

“Then don’t say it.”

She raised her eyes to his and he thought that he would never see blue eyes again and not think of hers.

“But you’ve done so much, I don’t know how to repay you.”

“I’ve already told you how, luv. Let me share the museum with you.”

“All right.” A giddy feeling began to build within her as soon as she consented.

It wasn’t a date, she told herself again. It was just going to be an afternoon in the company of a friend. A very good friend. Nothing more.

If it was nothing more, why did her palms suddenly feel damp?

He smiled into her eyes and quickened the muscles in her stomach. “When?”

She looked over her shoulder to Jocelyn’s bedroom. Johanna wasn’t free to make decisions just for herself. “Call me.”

“I will.”

As Johanna closed the door, she had no doubts that he would.

Her contented mood sustained her as she walked into Megan’s room. The girl was asleep, laying fully clothed on top of her bedspread. From the looks of it, she had had a very busy night. Johanna shook her none too gently by her shoulder.

“What?” Megan jerked up, angry words at the disturbance on her tongue. When she saw Johanna standing over her, the words faded. “Oh, I must have fallen asleep.”

“So it looks.” Johanna did not return her smile. “Get packed, Megan. You’re leaving.”

“Where are we going?”

“We’re not going anywhere.” Johanna opened the girl’s closet and took out her suitcase. She tossed it on the bed next to her. Megan jumped back, then held her head. Her brain throbbed and her mouth felt like cotton. Old cotton.
 

“You are. You’re fired.”

“Fired?” she mumbled as if she didn’t comprehend the word.

“Fired. Completely and utterly. You should have been weeks ago. I was just too soft-hearted or too stupid to do it then.”

“But I—“ The expression that registered on Megan’s face was panic.

“In case you’re interested, the straw that broke the camel’s back was walking out and leaving a sick child alone in a hotel room while you went out and partied the night away.”

Megan tried to brazen it out. It had worked before. “I knew you’d be back.”

“How wise of you.” Turning on her heel, Johanna grabbed an arm load of clothes out of the closet and tossed them into the opened suitcase. “Now, if you want these in any kind of order, you’d better see to it yourself.”

Megan stared down at the jumble of clothes. “I haven’t got any money to fly home.”

“I’ll give it to you. It’ll be more than worth it just to see you go.” With that, Johanna walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

She felt a lot like humming.

Chapter Seventeen

Jocelyn, for her part, was morose. “What are we going to do here, the two of us?” she wanted to know, flouncing down next to her mother on the sofa. Megan had been gone for less than a week and jocelyn was already bored beyond words, anticipating more of the same.

When had she lost touch with her daughter, Johanna wondered. It wasn’t all that long ago that they had been able to enjoy one another’s company on a steady basis.

“Have fun,” Johanna said brightly.

Without consciously realizing it, Jocelyn made a face at her words.

The twinge of hurt Johanna felt was quickly pushed aside. This was no time to be self-centered. “Oh, I don’t know, there was a time when you thought you were having fun with me.”

“There was a time when I used to think Sesame Street was heavy entertainment, too.”

“I see.”

Jocelyn looked contrite at the quiet sound of pain in her mother’s voice. “I didn’t mean that,” she mumbled into her chin.

Well, that was a start. The attempted apology heartened Johanna. “Probably more than you know, but that’s all right.” Johanna put an arm around Jocelyn’s shoulder and hugged the girl to her. “I think this is the age when you’re supposed to think parents are dull.”

“I am?” There was a measure of relief in Jocelyn’s voice. It wasn’t that she thought her mother was dull, exactly. Just not any fun.

“Absolutely. It’s a phase, which is what child psychiatrists call everything they can’t cure. I think you get through it when you turn twenty.” Johanna raised a brow as she pretended to scrutinize Jocelyn. “Or is it thirty?” Jocelyn laughed. “Well, I guess I can’t be that dull. I just made you laugh. How would you feel about taking in a movie?”

Jocelyn moved the edge of the newspaper that was spread out on the carpet. She had just been pouring over it. “Nothing to go see.”

“What a shame.” Johanna sighed dramatically. “All those theaters all over London and none of them playing anything. Such a waste.”

“Mother,” Jocelyn said impatiently.

“Daughter,” Johanna mimicked.

Jocelyn got up and moved restlessly around. “You know what I mean. The movies are all dull.” She began to fiddle with the curtain at the window, running the cord through her fingers as she stared out.

She looked trapped, Johanna thought. She had never felt that way when she had been twelve. At twelve, she had thought the world a wonderful place with endless possibilities. Twelve was still the time for illusions, for hope, for eagerness. How could she pass those feelings on to Jocelyn when they seemed so distant from her own life these days?

“Getting to be a rather dull world, isn’t it?” Johanna stooped to pick up the newspaper and folded it. “And you’re only twelve.” She dropped the newspaper on the coffee table. Jocelyn was just going to have to learn to enjoy the little things in life. It was, she firmly believed, what made everything worthwhile. “Would you like to take a stroll through Hyde Park?”

“A stroll?”

She came up behind Jocelyn and put her hands on her daughter’s shoulders. “Moving feet rhythmically in front of each other. Sometimes known as walking. You do remember walking, don’t you? It was invented just before the Mercedes.”

Jocelyn turned and looked at her mother suspiciously. “What’s at Hyde Park?”

Johanna shrugged, adjusting the shoulder of Jocelyn’s oversized tee-shirt that had slipped. Rick Renfield looked up at her from the front with a lop-sided smile. “History. Green grass. Maybe a radical speech or two. That’s where people go to sound off.”

Mechanically, Jocelyn tugged the tee-shirt off her shoulder again. “You mean there’s a special place that they have to go?”

Johanna grinned. When she was Jocelyn’s age, no one could get her to wear her hair away from her face. Every generation had something, she guessed. She left Jocelyn’s tee-shirt as it was.

“No, they can sound off anywhere, it’s just that at Hyde Park other people are expected to pay attention. At least for a little while.” She picked up her purse and moved to the door. “C’mon, it could be fun.”

Jocelyn looked as if she had her doubts about that, but relented.

“Okay. I guess it’s better than hanging around here.”

“Spoken like a true adventurer.” Johanna linked her arm through Jocelyn’s.

Just as she put her hand on the doorknob, someone knocked.

“Damn,” she muttered.

With Jocelyn’s eyes on her, Johanna hesitated in opening the door. She wasn’t expecting anyone and it was much too soon for Harry to be returning. Besides, he wouldn’t have knocked. If he had lost his key, he would have shouted for her to open the door. Or pounded at the very least. Patience had ceased being Harry’s long suit years ago.

“Aren’t you going to open it?” Jocelyn finally asked, confused.

“I guess I have no choice.” She really didn’t want to see anyone. She just wanted to spend time with Jocelyn. If it was Arlene, it might be some time before they could make their escape alone.

It wasn’t Arlene.

The man in the doorway was dressed in worn jeans that adhered to him like a comfortable second skin and a blue turtle neck shirt that showed off the fact that he was a physical laborer. In his wide, calloused hand he held a bouquet of white daisies.

“Tommy.” Johanna felt flustered for a moment. And pleased.

Jocelyn crowded in at the door, eager to see, eager to be seen. “Who are the flowers for?”

“Both of you,” Tommy replied easily. He presented the flowers to Jocelyn, although he looked at Johanna. “Mind if I come in?”

Johanna took a step back and gestured into the suite. “No, of course not.”

Jocelyn stood twirling the bouquet in her hands slowly. “We were about to go out,” she told Tommy matter-of-factly. But she was pleased that he had included her when he had given the flowers.

“To Hyde Park,” Johanna added quickly. She told herself that she was being foolish for feeling so uncommonly flustered about Tommy’s sudden appearance. He was probably just here to check on Jocelyn’s health.

She knew she was grasping at straws. She also didn’t know why she felt a need to do so.

A strange sort of excitement, slow and deliberate, telegraphed itself through her body.

“Hyde Park,” Tommy repeated. “Haven’t been there in a while. Mind if I join you?”

“How could I turn down Ivanhoe in his own native land?” Johanna laughed.

“Who’s Ivanhoe?” asked Jocelyn.

Johanna filled a glass with water from the bathroom and tucked the daisies into it. “A knight who rescued ladies,” she called out.

“Fair ladies,” Tommy corrected. “There was a code to abide by.”

Johanna crossed to the coffee table holding the impromptu vase. She could feel Tommy’s eyes washing over her, saying things that couldn’t be said aloud.

“I see. I take that as a lovely compliment.” Johanna set down the glass filled with daisies.

Flirting. My God, she was flirting. She hadn’t done that in years.

Jocelyn was taking this in as gospel. “You mean he couldn’t save anyone unless they were pretty?” She frowned. “That doesn’t seem fair.”

Tommy laughed and Johanna thought how free, how easy laughter seemed to come to him. He shut the door behind them, then took Jocelyn by the arm as he linked his other free one with Johanna. “All damsels in distress are pretty.”

Jocelyn shook her head while savoring the fact that Tommy was escorting her out just the same way he did her mother. “Now I’m really confused.”

“You’ll understand when you get older,” Johanna promised her.

Her daughter hated that line, but because Tommy was here, the young girl smiled while she protested. “That’s what you always say.”

Johanna pressed for the elevator,
 
feeling very lighthearted. She grinned at Jocelyn, but took care not to ruffle her hair. “That’s because it’s true.”

They went together to Hyde Park where they heard someone espousing animal rights and another man who swore that Parliament was being taken over by aliens, the kind with antennae.

Jocelyn enjoyed herself immensely. “Hey, why haven’t we come here before?”

Johanna exchanged looks with Tommy. Being here with him made a difference. Being in London with him made a difference. Suddenly, the country was bright and friendly and each gloomy sky held the promise of forthcoming sunshine. She no longer felt dejected and depressed about England or herself. “Why indeed?”

After hearing their fourth spontaneous speech, this one on the ills of the monarchy, Tommy insisted on buying them lunch. Johanna carefully dissuaded him from taking them to the hotel’s restaurant. The Chelsea was known for its gourmet food and gourmet prices. Prices, she felt sure, Tommy could not afford.

Instead, they had a light lunch at a near-by outdoor cafe.

“Oh gross, what’s that?” Jocelyn accused as she jabbed her finger at a line on the menu.

“You can read, Jocelyn. This isn’t a foreign restaurant,” Johanna murmured, looking to see what had made her daughter turn a shade of green. “Oh, kidney pie.” Well, maybe Jocelyn was entitled to be a little green, Johanna reconsidered.