Sapphire and Shadow (A Woman's Life) (18 page)

“You know better than that, Mary. I just didn’t expect to see you. Especially not in my suite in London at three in the morning.”

“That makes two of us.” Managing to do it gracefully, Mary sank down on the sofa chair and kicked off her three inch heels one at a time. “Those damn things were invented by a man who hated women. Wouldn’t wear them except they make my legs look so good.” She massaged the back of one calf. “Pop’s pretty worried about you, Jo,” she added casually.

The tone didn’t fool Johanna. She felt a stab of guilt as she perched on the arm of the sofa. Without looking at Mary, she plucked at an imaginary thread. “He sent you here?”

“He and George Tate—I. Magnum’s business manager,” she added when Johanna raised her head. “Time to case what the English designers are doing. I just nudged him to move up my trip, that’s all.”

Johanna knew better. “To three o’clock in the morning?”

“It wasn’t three when I left.” Mary shrugged, her long blond hair rippling on her shoulders. The London weather made it kinkier, but on Mary, Johanna thought, it looked good. On Mary, everything looked good. She was a born model. “And hey, you take what you can get.”

“Aunt Mary?”

Mary turned to see her niece groggily walking out of her room, rubbing her tangled hair out of her eyes. The noise had woken her up and since Megan’s departure and her father’s abrupt disappearance from her life without so much as a word, the young girl was very attuned to nocturnal noises. She was afraid that her mother would leave her too, although she wouldn’t admit it.

“The one and only,” Mary said, opening up her arms. “Give me a hug, kid. I’m too pooped to get up myself.”

Jocelyn grinned broadly as she joined her aunt on the sofa. “You didn’t tell us you were coming.”

“There’s a reason for that. Until yesterday, I didn’t know it myself. I’ve been away on a trip.”

The smile on Mary’s face told Johanna that it wasn’t a trip that involved her job as a buyer. Of the three sisters, Mary was the carefree one, the one who moved with the wind and did what she pleased when she pleased. Consequences were things to be considered later. As long as she hurt no one, she was content. And a good time, she had often said, was had by all.

As Johanna had rushed into marriage, Mary had rushed into life, embracing it, savoring it, but never being mastered by it.

There was a lot to be learned from her younger sister, Johanna mused.

Johanna shifted to get more comfortable. “How long are you planning to stay?”

“Only a few days, but I thought I’d touch base with you and the kid.”

She ruffled Jocelyn’s hair fondly and Jocelyn didn’t mind in the slightest. If she had done it, Johanna thought, amused, there would have been a high-pitched protest of “Mother,” followed by an accusing glare. But Mary could do no wrong in Jocelyn’s eyes and fortunately for both of them, she didn’t.

“I’ve got to be back by Monday, Tuesday at the latest. But that gives me four days, five if I don’t sleep,” she said, glancing out at the dark sky beyond the window.

Mary leaned back, draping an arm on the sofa on either side of her. She looked around. Usually, by now, Harry would be out to join them, eyeing her, alternately being charming or being annoyed by her presence. She looked quizzically at Johanna. “So, where’re you hiding the Boy Wonder?”

Johanna stiffened slightly, but only for Jocelyn’s sake. The comment seemed to go over Jocelyn’s head, or maybe she thought Mary was referring to Tommy. Johanna tugged at the sash that was loosening around her waist. “He’s away on business.”

A knowing look entered Mary’s deep blue eyes. “I’ll bet. So,” she struggled to her feet. “Got a place for me to crash for a couple of hours?”

Johanna rose to join her. Jocelyn was already on her feet, next to Mary. “Harry’s room.”

“Been sprayed yet?” she asked as she followed her sister to the bedroom. Mary left her suitcases in her wake. Later would be time enough to carry them into the bedroom and unpack.

Johanna opened the door. The room looked oddly empty. “He didn’t use it often enough to leave anything behind.”

“Good enough for me.”

Uninhibited, Mary began to strip off her clothes as she spoke until she was totally nude. Then she slipped into bed.

“What d’you do when it gets cold?” asked Johanna.

Mary grinned broadly. “There are other ways to keep warm.”

“Blankets?” Johanna said.

“Heavy, hairy blankets,” Mary answered with a chuckle. “Wake me at eight. I want to have breakfast with you two.”

“Breakfast in bed?” Johanna guessed.

“What else is there, Jo?”

Johanna grinned her amusement. “Some people use restaurants.”

“For lunch and dinner only,” Mary sighed, already falling asleep.

It was wonderful having her sister here, Johanna thought with a smile. She always managed to make everything that much better, just by being.

Chapter Nineteen

Mary finally rose at eleven and although Johanna couldn’t persuade her to go down to the hotel’s restaurant for breakfast, Mary did concede to having the meal in the sitting room instead of in bed. She ordered a full course breakfast, ravenous only half an hour after waking up. It always took Johanna a full two hours before she could face the prospect of food in the morning. She had already had her token breakfast, but asked room service to bring her up a pot of coffee anyway. She nursed a cup now as she sat opposite Mary.

Having Mary arrive out of the blue the way she did gave Johanna unexpected breathing space as far as her situation with Jocelyn went. With Mary here, the tension between mother and daughter concerning Harold would lessen. Jocelyn adored Mary and her mind would revolve around having fun, not around the serious issue of parental discord.

But, having Mary here also forced Johanna to cleanse her soul. Mary wasn’t a person who stood for double-talk or evasion. She didn’t believe in it, not for herself nor anyone else.

“Okay, spill it,” Mary instructed as she heaped raspberry jam on a muffin.

“Always so indirect and subtle.” Johanna grinned as she watched her sister consume a breakfast that could fill three other people to the gills. Mary ate and ate and never seemed to gain an ounce.

“Doesn’t pay,” Mary murmured. She licked her index finger which had gotten a generous glob of jam when she raised the muffin to her lips.

Johanna leaned her head on her hand and watched in fascination. “You know, I’m thoroughly convinced that you have a portrait in the attic somewhere, gaining weight. You can’t possibly put all that away and stay the same dress size. Either that, or you have a pet boa constrictor hiding under the table that you’re feeding.”

“High metabolism.” Mary raised her eyes to Johanna’s as she poured a second cup of coffee. “And we’re not discussing me, big sister, we’re discussing you.”

“Boring.” Johanna shifted slightly as she waved away the statement. She might have known better. Mary was nothing if not tenacious when she wanted to find out something.

“Not from what I read.”

“Mary, you don’t mean to tell me that you believe those stories, do you?”

“Only when they have dear Harold’s name splashed all over them.” Mary leveled clear blue eyes that seemed to see right through her sister. “So, have you finally come to your senses? Or was that middle-of-the-night phone call to Pop a dream he wistfully had?”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning that we all think that you should leave Harry before he destroys you, destroys her.” She nodded her golden tousled head in the direction of her niece’s room. “He isn’t worthy of you.”

“It’s not like I’m a saint, Mary.”

“I’d be the first to agree with you on that one.” Mary laughed softly. “I know all your faults, all your shortcomings and believe me, you’ve never done anything to merit the kind of man Harry’s become. Early Christian martyrs wearing hair shirts have done less penance than you have being married to him.” She pushed the dining cart away and sat back on the sofa, pulling her legs under her. “You can come stay with me until you figure out what you want to do.”

The fact that she had someone, a family, to lean on meant a great deal to Johanna. “Dad said the same thing.”

“Pop meant the same thing.” Mary reached out a beautifully manicured hand and placed it over her sister’s. “We worry about you, Jo.”

“Thanks. It helps some.”

Mary studied her face. Johanna looked worn around the edges, tired. Mary could have killed Harry with her bare hands and felt nothing—except possible concern about ruining her manicure. “Any plans?”

“Healing.”

“Good start.”

“Aunt Mary.” Jocelyn burst into the room, her eyes bright with anticipation. She was dressed in her favorite outfit, one she hoped would catch the approval of her aunt. But then, Mary rarely disapproved of anything she ever did. It was one of the reasons she liked her so much. “Are we going to go shopping like you promised?”

Mary took her hand and pulled her down beside her on the sofa. “And just when did I promise that?”

“The last time you visited us. You said the next time, you and I were on for a big shopping spree.”

Mary looked over her niece’s head at Johanna. “Doesn’t forget a thing, does she?”

“Only when it’s to her advantage to remember,” Johanna said fondly.

“Okay.” Mary looked at Jocelyn. “I guess I could stretch myself and do that with you, kid.” She turned toward Johanna. She hoped to draw Johanna out. She felt Johanna needed to be distracted, to keep her mind off her problems once she had unburdened herself. She needed, as she had said, time to heal. Yet Mary didn’t want to strong-arm her. “Want to come along and learn a few things about the fine art of shopping?”

Johanna laughed and shook her head. She stretched and shifted on the chair. She felt lethargic.

“No, I’ve got a few things to catch up on.” Mary was already uncurling her slender frame from the sofa. Jocelyn was pulling her toward her room. “You two go and have a ball. Not too expensive a ball,” Johanna said over her shoulder. “We’re going to have to learn how to live on a budget soon.”

“What does that mean?” Jocelyn asked Mary.

“That means that old Aunt Mary is going to foot the bill for you today, kid.”

When Mary grinned like that, Johanna thought, she didn’t look that much older than Jocelyn. “I can still afford to pay for what’s mine,” she said.

“I like spoiling her,” Mary protested.

And that, Johanna knew, was the end of that. There was no arguing with Mary. She breathed a sigh of relief. It would do Jocelyn good to have a totally carefree afternoon in the company of someone Johanna trusted completely. There had always been an uneasiness when she let her go with Megan. First because she didn’t know Megan very well, and then because she did.

Johanna wanted to answer a few letters, get things in order and finally think through her options one more time. This was a major decision. Once done, she knew she was burning her bridges behind her. If she walked out on Harry, asked for the divorce, that would be the end of it. He was not a man who begged. At least not where his wife was concerned. His pride wouldn’t let him. She knew she had to be very, very sure before she took that final step. There would be no turning back.

She also know she had to take that final step, frightening though it was. She couldn’t survive if she didn’t. It was an awful thing, Johanna though, to admit that you’ve made such a devastating mistake, that you’ve wasted so much of your life because of one decision. But it was an even worse thing to ride it out to the end because you were too much of a coward to cut your losses and go.

“What’s the use bandying this about, Joey? You know you have to go. It’ll kill you if you don’t. Everyone else’s seen it. It’s time you took your head out of the sand,” she muttered to herself.

There was a knock on the door and she debated ignoring it, but then thought it might be room service about the cart. Preoccupied with her dilemma, she threw open the door. “What can I do for yo—Tommy?” She was both bewildered and pleased at seeing him there. He wore a green cable knit sweater that brought out a greenish tint in his eyes and a pair of faded jeans that moved with him like another layer of skin. Johanna felt a quickening of her pulse and decided it was futile to deny it.

Tommy looked at her bemused, pleased expression and judged correctly. “You forgot.”

“Forgot what?”

“Our date. For the gallery. Your way of saying thanks, remember?” He grinned at her.

Her hands flew to her mouth. “Oh, I’m so sorry. It’s just that my sister arrived unexpectedly last night and I guess everything else just flew out of my head.” She wondered if he’d give her a raincheck.

Tommy wasn’t interested in rain. “No harm done, we can still go.”

She looked down at her casual outfit. She was wearing an old sweatshirt and a pair of creased slacks that needed pressing. “But I’m not dressed.”

“You’re wearing clothes,” he pointed out.

“Yes, but—“

“There is no dress code for the gallery, luv, other than clothes of course.” He grinned and there was just the slightest hint of wickedness there. And just the slightest hint of a thrill passed through her body. “Personally, I think you look terrific.”

“For the Tate Gallery?” she asked doubtfully.

“For anything.”

Before she could protest further or make any other excuses, Tommy captured her hand in his. She needed coaxing, he thought, coaxing to bring out the fire he knew was inside of her. She had been on the sidelines of life for so long that she had forgotten how to participate, how to enjoy the little pleasures. They had been robbed from her. Ever so gently, he rubbed his thumb over her hand.

“I promise you, if anyone notices you at all, luv, it’ll be to envy me, not to criticize your lack of proper attire.”

Tommy made her feel young and impetuous again. As young as Harry had made her feel old. For a moment, just for the barest moment, her common sense wrestled with her desire to spend a carefree afternoon, dressed for the occasion or not. What would it hurt? Nothing and no one. After all, she had said she would go when he had asked. Mary had Jocelyn for the day and there was nothing to keep her chained to her room but her own stubbornness. She decided she didn’t want to be stubborn.