Sarah's Secret (12 page)

‘How did you come to tell him?’

‘We—we made love after the wedding.’ Sarah blushed to the roots of her hair. ‘Because of Davy it was the first time for me, of course. So I had to explain.’

Margaret nodded bleakly. ‘It had to happen one day, because you take after Anne in so many ways.’

Sarah bristled. ‘What do you mean?’

‘Anne was just like you, head over heels in love the moment she met your father. Because you were on the way soon afterwards they got married right away. But you arrived late, unlike Davy, so no one ever knew.’

‘That must have been a relief for you,’ said Sarah acidly.

‘It was.’ Margaret shrugged. ‘I know you think it’s ridiculous, but respectability has always been of prime importance to me. I care about public opinion.’ She hesitated. ‘But Anne couldn’t help the nature she’d inherited.’

Sarah stared at her grandmother, forgetting her anger and grief for a moment. ‘Are you saying that Mother took after
you
, Grandma?’

Margaret smiled wryly. ‘Impossible to believe, obviously. And you’re right. It was your grandfather, not me.’ She braced herself. ‘He was unfaithful to me almost from the first, you see. Anne never knew because he was discreet, and I took great care to keep it from her. But living a lie takes a toll. And it made me very hard on Anne when she was growing up. And you too, Sarah.’

‘Heavens, Grandma,’ said Sarah, frowning. ‘I had no idea.’

‘Perhaps you can understand, now, how desperate I felt when she told me what had happened with Anthony Barrett. I was demented at the thought of your father’s grief, the reaction of my friends—’ Margaret breathed in deeply, looking every year of her age for once, and
more. ‘None of which is any excuse for the sacrifice I demanded of you.’

Two pairs of gold-flecked eyes met each other in silence for a moment.

‘It’s been hard at times, but I don’t regret it,’ said Sarah at last.

Margaret cleared her throat rather noisily. ‘So. What will you do when Jake comes for you tonight?’

‘That’s not going to happen!’ Sarah’s jaw clenched. ‘He
saw
me looking at him and he didn’t care a bit.’

Sarah was so sure Jake wouldn’t turn up she settled down in front of her computer to tackle the pile of mail she’d brought home. Wearing glasses because her eyes were too sore for contact lenses after crying so much, she did her best to concentrate, but it was hard to compose lucid syntax when her mind was going round in circles like a demented bee, trying to find some logical explanation for what she’d seen.

Sarah was still so sure Jake wouldn’t come she picked up the receiver from force of habit when the doorbell rang, then stiffened in fury when she heard his voice over the intercom.

‘Hi, darling, let me in. It’s eighteen long hours since I kissed you—’

‘Get away from my door, Hogan!’ she spat. ‘Or I’ll call the police.’ She slammed down the receiver.

The bell rang again at once. ‘Did you hear me?’ she shouted through the intercom.

‘For God’s sake, Sarah, what the hell’s
wrong
?’

Only everything, she thought bitterly, and left the receiver off the hook, steeling herself to ignore the frantic demands crackling through it. After a while it went quiet, and she put it back. With relief, she assured her
self. Glad she’d persuaded her grandmother to go out as planned, Sarah tried again to concentrate, then jumped out of her skin when a hard hand dropped on her shoulder.

‘What the hell was all that about?’ demanded Jake, his eyes blazing as he hauled her to her feet.

‘Take your hands off me,’ she flung at him, and backed away as far as she could in the crowded bedroom. ‘How did you get in here?’

‘Through the back garden. I picked the lock on your kitchen door. I advise you to change it.’ He was breathing hard, a white line round his mouth. ‘And don’t start on about the police again. Before I move an inch I demand to know what’s wrong.’

Sarah pushed her glasses up her shiny nose, glaring at him through them. ‘Oh,
please
,’ she said scornfully. ‘Don’t come the innocent with me. You know exactly what’s wrong.’

Jake stood with arms folded and legs apart, looming large in the confined space. ‘Actually, I don’t,’ he said with menace. ‘Elucidate.’

She thrust a hand through her hair, glaring at him. ‘Did you actually think you could come here and take up where we left off after—after what I saw today?’

Jake stared blankly. ‘What the devil are you talking about?’

Sarah clenched her hands to keep from hitting him. ‘You. In a car. Snogging with some female in full view of passers-by. Including me. You
saw
me. You knew I’d seen you. But you laughed in my face.’

‘It wasn’t me,’ he said flatly.

‘I had my lenses in,’ she snapped. ‘I
know
it was you.’ She moved to the door. ‘Get out, Jake. Now. Or I will call the police.’

‘Sarah, there’s a simple explanation. If you’ll just listen—’

‘Get out of my sight!’ She marched out into the hall and opened the front door.

Jake followed her, gave her a look which could have cut glass, then brushed past her and went out to his car. Sarah banged the door shut, deflated, and collapsed on her bed in angry tears. Hey, she reminded herself after a while, you don’t do tears. She went into the bathroom, scowled at the Pentiles lining it, washed her face and brushed her hair, polished her glasses, then went back to work.

Due to severe lack of concentration it took longer than usual for Sarah to finish. She was in the kitchen, thinking about what, if anything, to eat for her supper, when the doorbell rang again. Breathing fire, she answered the intercom and heard Jake’s voice.

‘A word, please, Sarah.’

Her instinct was to tell him to get lost, but she’d calmed down enough by this time for curiosity to get the better of her. She went along the hall to open the door, then stood, wide-eyed, when she found two men on her doorstep. Both tall, both fair, dressed in jeans and white shirts, they regarded her with eyes of identical ultramarine-blue, one pair gleaming with amusement, the other steel-hard with determination.

‘We’d like to come in,’ said Jake at last.

Heart pounding, Sarah inclined her head regally, and stood aside for her visitors to go past. ‘Come to the sitting room.’

‘This is my brother, Liam,’ announced Jake.

Sarah could see that for herself.

‘Hello, Miss Tracy,’ Liam said, in a voice so like
Jake’s it made her shiver. ‘I didn’t realise who you were this afternoon.’

The penny dropped so abruptly Sarah threw a wild look at Jake, who nodded in grim confirmation.

‘You refused to listen to explanations earlier, so I brought Liam along in the flesh to clarify things.’

‘I was the one you saw today,’ explained Liam. ‘If you want further proof, Serena’s outside in the car.’

‘The girl you saw
Liam
kissing,’ said Jake with emphasis.

‘Oh,’ said Sarah faintly, beset by several violent emotions all fighting at once for the upper hand.

‘It’s a common mistake,’ said Liam ruefully. ‘We’re often mistaken for each other.’

‘But now you’re both together the difference is obvious.’ To Sarah, anyway. Ignoring Jake, she managed an icy little smile for his brother. ‘Sorry to bring you out of your way like this. If I’d known the truth beforehand it wouldn’t have been necessary. Jake mentioned a brother, but forgot to say you were twins.’

‘C
UE
to make myself scarce,’ said Liam. ‘Mustn’t keep Serena waiting.’

‘Won’t you bring her in for a drink?’ said Sarah politely.

Liam shook his head. ‘Some other time, perhaps.’ He held out his hand. ‘Sarah, I’m very sorry for the mix up.’

‘Not
your
fault,’ she assured him, and shook his hand briefly.

‘You take the car, Liam,’ said Jake. ‘I’ll get a cab.’

‘By all means go with your brother,’ said Sarah, with hauteur.

‘I’m staying!’

‘And I’m going,’ said Liam hastily. ‘I’ll see myself out.’

After he’d gone the silence in the room was deafening. In the end Jake was first to break it. He thrust a hand through his hair and turned away to stare into the twilight beyond the window.

‘I should have told you Liam was my twin.’

‘Why on earth didn’t you?’ she demanded.

Jake turned to look at her. ‘It’s caused problems before.’ His mouth twisted. ‘I was going to tell you before Sunday, obviously.’

‘Sunday?’

‘When I introduced you to my parents and my family, including Liam.’

Past tense, noted Sarah in alarm.

‘Have you changed your mind about that?’ she asked with care.

He met her eyes. ‘No. Have you?’

She looked away. ‘I bought some new shoes.’

Jake moved a little closer. ‘A pity not to wear them, then.’

‘And Davy would be desperately disappointed.’

‘So would I,’ he said huskily, and closed the space between them to take her in his arms. ‘Is this allowed, or will you call the police?’

‘No.’ She let out a deep, shaky breath, her knees suddenly giving way as she sagged against him, and Jake picked her up and sat down with her in his lap.

‘That,’ he said roughly, as his arms endangered her ribs, ‘was the worst couple of hours of my entire life.’

‘It’s been a lot longer than that since I saw Liam,’ she said, shuddering. ‘When I saw you—him—with another woman I was
heartbroken
!’

Jake swore with colourful violence and tipped her face up to his. ‘I’ve had a word with my little brother about making an exhibition of himself in public places.’

‘Little brother?’ she said, diverted.

‘Half an hour younger.’ For the first time that evening Jake’s smiled appeared. ‘I gave him hell for fooling about with Serena in full view of passers-by.’

‘Not your style at all,’ agreed Sarah. ‘But you can see my mistake. It was your car, Jake.’

He nodded grimly. ‘Liam still brings his car down here to be serviced—won’t trust London garages. After he’d dropped it off he borrowed mine for the day. Liam’s also used to city anonymity. He tends to forget that we share a face well known in these parts. But I prefer to keep my love life private.’ Jake bent his head
and kissed her, and with a sigh of thanksgiving Sarah responded with fervour fuelled by relief.

She sat up suddenly, biting her lip as she pushed her hands through her hair.

‘What now?’ he demanded.

She groaned. ‘It just struck me that your brother must wonder what on earth you see in me. I look such a fright!’

‘Is that all?’ Jake let out a snort of relief and pulled her back against him. ‘Actually, my darling, I like the dishevelled look so much I could eat you.’ He kissed her by way of illustration, and went on kissing her, until they were hot and breathless and in need of a great deal more than kisses. ‘I suppose your grandmother’s due home any time now,’ said Jake, breathing hard. ‘I want you like hell, darling, but in the circumstances I’d better go home while I can.’

Sarah licked the tip of her tongue round her lips, her eyes glittering with invitation. ‘Take me with you?’

‘Oh, God, yes,’ he said fervently, and in minutes they were in Sarah’s car, a few things thrown in her overnight bag and a note left for Margaret. With Jake at the wheel they arrived at his apartment building with a speed which should have had them stopped by the police. He parked the car, took Sarah by the hand and rushed her through the foyer into the lift, his hands under her shirt and his mouth on hers before the doors closed.

When they reached the flat Jake kicked the door shut behind him, dropped Sarah’s bag and yanked her up on her toes against him. She gasped against his mouth as he cupped his hands around her bottom, the proof of his need hot and hard against her through two layers of denim. Their kisses grew wilder, her thighs parted involuntarily, and he lifted her against him so she could
lock her legs about his hips. He held her cruelly tight against his erection and strode to the bedroom with Sarah clasped close in his arms, her head buried against his shoulder.

They collapsed together on the bed, Jake hard and heavy on top of her, and Sarah lay under him, returning his kisses feverishly, revelling in the weight and feel and aroused male scent of him. When the urge to mate grew overpowering he got to his knees on the bed and pulled her up with him, to undress her, both of them on fire with such desperate need they tore at each other’s clothes with rough, impatient hands until they were naked together. And then he was over her and inside her and he gave a hoarse, visceral groan of satisfaction as Sarah’s hands dug into his lean hips to draw him deep into her innermost core.

Their impassioned loving was too wild to last long, but so overwhelmingly sweet in its intensity Sarah’s cheeks were wet when it was over.

‘Tears?’ whispered Jake, kissing them away.

‘Only because I’m happy.’ She gave a deep, unsteady sigh. ‘It’s almost worth quarrelling to make up like that.’

‘Almost,’ he agreed. ‘But not quite. In future I vote we pass on the fight and cut straight to the good part.’

The rest of the week went by on wings. Margaret Parker, rather to Sarah’s surprise, made it plain she was relieved to see her grandchild so happy again, and astonished Sarah by indicating, as delicately as she could, that she quite understood if Sarah wished to spend every night with Jake until Davy came home for the weekend.

‘Actually, I don’t,’ said Sarah. ‘But last night it was late by the time everything was sorted. We just needed more time together to recover.’

‘Does Jake find my presence in the house inhibiting, by any chance?’ said Margaret dryly.

Sarah grinned. ‘Probably. Though going back to his place last night was my idea, not his.’

‘In my day, of course, officially one had to wait until legally shackled before sharing a bed.’

‘Officially?’

Margaret gave her a wry smile. ‘This may come as a surprise, Sarah, but sex isn’t a modern invention. It was all too popular with some in my day too.’

The following Saturday Davy had her wish and Jake joined them for a swim and lunch and a trip to the cinema. Then, because it was a beautiful evening, Sarah suggested a stroll in the park before going home.

‘Just like a real family,’ said Davy with satisfaction as the three of them walked through the sunlit park. ‘Can I have an ice-cream?’

Sarah gave Jake an apologetic smile. ‘She’s a bottomless pit.’

‘Which will please my mother enormously,’ he said, handing over the money. ‘She’s been cooking for days.’

Davy thanked him, then spotted one of her school-friends with a dog on a lead, and asked permission to run off to talk to her.

‘I’m nervous about tomorrow,’ said Sarah, watching Davy with the other little girl and her family.

Jake halted and took her hand. ‘Don’t be, darling. Liam heartily approved, by the way.’

‘Even though I had glasses on and looked a mess?’

‘Right. So imagine what effect you’ll have when you’re all dressed up to impress.’

Sarah shook her head. ‘I don’t want to
impress
, Jake. Just to reassure your parents that their firstborn isn’t making a great big mistake by marrying me.’

‘Which I’m going to do as soon as humanly possible, whatever their verdict,’ he informed her.

To round off the evening they went back to supper at Jake’s flat, which Davy liked so much it was an effort to get her home afterwards.

‘Are we going to live here with you, Jake?’ she asked.

‘Not big enough, sweetheart. Mummy and I are going to find a house with a special room in it just for you,’ he said, ruffling her hair.

When they got back to Campden Road it was uphill work getting Davy to bed.

‘It’s a big day tomorrow,’ said Sarah firmly. ‘Lunch with Jake’s family, then back to school. So sleep now, please.’

Jake held up his arms when she got back to the sitting room. ‘Come and tell me you love me.’

‘I love you,’ she said promptly, and curled up against him on the sofa. ‘So you haven’t changed your mind about being a stepfather?’

‘No.’ Jake kissed her. ‘I like Davy. And she obviously likes me. And I know very well that life isn’t all swimming and fun, like today, and later, when she’s a teenager bristling with hormones and attitude, things may get rocky now and then. But because she’s a little duplicate of you in every way it’s easy to think of her as mine already, Sarah.’

‘Thank you, Jake.’ She breathed in deeply. ‘This is all so perfect I keep thinking something will go wrong.’

He tapped her cheek gently. ‘That part’s already happened, due to Liam. From now on it’s plain sailing.’

‘Is he bringing Serena tomorrow?’

‘No fear. She’s just an old flame. Serena was in school with us. Since then she’s been married and divorced twice. Liam sees her now and then, when he’s down,
but he wouldn’t dream of bringing her to a family get-together. That’s strictly for serious relationships, like yours and mine, darling.’ He smiled. ‘At time of going to press Liam is firmly unattached.’

Sarah kissed him, then with regret stood up. ‘I’m sorry to see you go, darling, but I need an early night so I can scintillate tomorrow.’

Jake returned the kiss, then reluctantly let her go. ‘I’ll come for you at twelve tomorrow. If you bring Davy’s school gear I can drive you straight back to Roedale.’

‘I think we’d better come home first, so she can have a bath before going back to school.’

‘Probably a good idea,’ Jake said, chuckling. ‘You may have had enough of the Hogans by that time.’

The fateful Sunday dawned so bright and sunny Sarah gave up the idea of a formal dress and high heels. When Jake arrived he grinned when he found Sarah and Davy in identical white T-shirts Margaret had brought as presents from Florence, Davy’s worn with embroidered jeans and Sarah’s with the raspberry linen skirt.

‘You both look gorgeous,’ he said, and eyed Sarah’s flat white sandals. ‘What happened to the new shoes?’

Sarah smiled sheepishly. ‘The heels were a bit much for a hot day like this.’

‘You look nice, too, Jake,’ said Davy, eyeing his pale linen trousers and blue shirt.

‘Thank you, sweetheart,’ he said, touched. ‘I’ll just say hello to your grandma, then we’ll be off.’

The Hogans lived the other side of Pennington, in a house set in two acres of beautifully kept garden. When Jake turned into the drive it was already full of cars. Children could be heard shouting in the distance, and Davy looked suddenly anxious.

‘Are they bigger than me?’ she asked Jake as he helped her out.

‘Not much. Don’t worry. They won’t bite.’

A man with greying fair hair came hurrying towards them, familiar blue eyes bright with welcome. ‘Hello, son. Introduce me to your beautiful ladies.’

Jake put an arm round them both. ‘Dad, this is Sarah Tracy and her daughter Davina. Only she prefers Davy.’

‘Welcome to the family, Sarah,’ said John Hogan, and to her surprise kissed her on both cheeks. ‘My wife’s Italian,’ he explained, eyes twinkling. ‘I’ve acquired the habit.’ He turned to Davy, who was watching him expectantly. ‘Am I allowed to kiss you too, pet?’

She smiled and held up her face, and after planting a kiss on her cheeks he took her hand and led the way into the house, where his wife came rushing through the hall, smoothing back her greying black hair.

‘Jacob!’ She clapped her hands together as she saw Davy. ‘
Bellissima
, how lovely to meet you.’ She swept Davy into a hug, then whispered in her ear. ‘Now introduce me to your
mamma
.’

‘Her name is Sarah Tracy,’ said Davy, reassured by the warmth of her reception.

‘How do you do, Mrs Hogan?’ said Sarah. ‘It’s very kind of you to invite us.’

She was immediately folded into a scented embrace. ‘You shall call me Teresa,’ said Jake’s mother, kissing her warmly. ‘And the little one is Davy, Jake tells me.’

‘After my father, David.’

‘Ah!’ Teresa patted her cheek. ‘I know about your parents—so sad.’

‘Mamma,’ said Jake hurriedly, ‘are the others in the garden?’

‘Can’t you hear?’ said his father, smiling. ‘Your
mother shut them out there so she could meet Sarah first. And Davy, too,’ he added, taking her hand. ‘Come on, pet, let’s go and find someone for you to play with.’

Sarah tensed, but Jake put a comforting arm round her as the little girl went off with his father.

‘You must be so proud of her. She is so sweet,’ said Teresa fondly, and turned smiling black eyes on Sarah. ‘And so like her
mamma
.’

‘Is Liam here yet?’ asked Jake.

‘No,’ said his mother, with an ominous flash of eye. ‘He is late.’

‘He’ll be here, don’t worry.’

‘Come,’ said Teresa, taking Sarah’s hand. ‘I must introduce you to the rest of my family. They want so much to meet you.’

Jake’s sisters, Maddalena and Paula, a handsome vivacious pair, took after their mother, both in colouring and the exuberance of their welcome as they introduced their husbands and children.

‘You boys,’ Paula told her sons, ‘must look after Davy. She’s a guest.’

‘And you two, no squabbling for once,’ Maddy told her daughters. ‘This is a special day. Your uncle is going to marry this lovely lady, and Davy will be your new cousin.’

Sarah watched the children take charge of Davy, who, far from being dismayed by the prospect, was soon absorbed into the gang as they planned how to pass the time before the meal.

‘She’ll be fine,’ Jake assured her, then looked round with a smile as a familiar figure came strolling from the house. ‘At last, the prodigal. Now we can break out the fatted calf.’