Sarah's Secret (7 page)

‘Of course I don’t,’ said Sarah, so obviously meaning it his eyes lit up in response as she sat down in one of the chairs at the table. ‘Second surprise of the day.’

‘I wanted to see you alone,’ he said matter-of-factly, and drew a chair up close beside her.

‘Why didn’t you say so earlier?’

‘Originally you said you’d be too tired. So I thought you’d say no. And we need to make arrangements for the wedding.’

‘You could have rung me.’

‘I could,’ he agreed. ‘But I like this much better.’ He looked at her steadily. ‘So I rang your grandmother’s bell. She was on her way out to church, so I offered to wait in the car until you got back from Roedale, but she suggested I wait in the garden instead.’

‘I’m glad she did. It’s a very
nice
surprise,’ she said after a while, her eyes falling.

‘For once I could tell,’ he said dryly. ‘Normally you don’t give much away, Sarah Tracy.’

‘I’m not the effusive type. Want a drink?’ she asked.

‘Not really. I just want to sit here with you in the cool of the evening and talk, or not talk, as the case may be. I enjoyed the day so much I wanted it to last longer.’

‘So did I,’ she confessed.

‘Good.’ Jake stretched out his long legs with a sigh. ‘Have you remembered that I’m in London tomorrow? I’ll be back at the grind on Tuesday afternoon, but I’ll
work late so I can take off for Norfolk with a clear conscience.’

‘Look,’ said Sarah quickly, ‘if the trip is causing problems for you—’

‘It isn’t.’ He turned to smile at her. ‘As I keep telling you, I like weddings.’

‘As long as you’re not the bridegroom, I suppose!’

‘Not a bit of it. Come the day, I’ll enjoy my own wedding most of all,’ he assured her, and held her eyes with the intensity which always braced her for what was coming next. ‘Did you never consider getting married, Sarah?’

‘No,’ she said, after a taut little silence. ‘Never.’

‘Not even to Davy’s father?’

‘Him least of all.’

‘And you obviously don’t want to talk about it,’ he said after a moment, and turned his attention back to the sunset. ‘Right. So what time shall I come for you on Wednesday?’

‘Early, I’m afraid. The wedding’s not until three, but it’s a fair trip, and I’ll need time when we arrive to tidy up and change into my finery. Which reminds me,’ she added. ‘Do you possess a golf umbrella?’

He grinned. ‘No. But I can borrow one. Why?’

‘So we can arrive in church in reasonable nick if it rains, of course.’

‘I’ll see to it,’ he promised.

While the shadows lengthened, and the sun disappeared over the trees at the end of the garden, they went on talking with the easy familiarity of friends of a lot longer standing than they actually were, at peace with the world and each other.

‘I’ve enjoyed today,’ said Jake at one stage, and shot
a look at Sarah. ‘I didn’t spoil things for you by gate-crashing the party?’

‘Not in the least.’ Finding it easier to admit in the fading light, Sarah told him the truth. ‘I was delighted to see you, Jake.’

‘Thank God for that. But you realise that Don and Alison now have us pigeonholed as a couple?’ he added.

‘Next time I see them I’ll tell them we’re not,’ she said, unconcerned.

‘Why?’ Jake demanded. ‘Maybe we’re not exactly the sort of couple they think we are. But we’re definitely a pair of some kind, Sarah.’

‘If the subject comes up I’ll say we’re just good friends.’

‘Which will convince them beyond all doubt that we’re lovers.’ Jake heaved a sigh. ‘Which we’re not, alas.’

Sarah shivered suddenly, and rubbed her arms. ‘It’s getting chilly. Let’s go inside. I’ll make some supper.’

Switching lights on as she went, Sarah led the way to the kitchen. ‘How do you feel about omelettes?’

‘Enthusiastic,’ he assured her. ‘Though I didn’t come here tonight expecting to be fed.’

‘What exactly did you expect?’

Jake’s smile was wry. ‘Very little, Miss Tracy. A habit I’m learning fast where you’re concerned, to avoid disappointment. Can I do something?’

‘No.’ She flashed a gleaming dark look at him. ‘Just sit there and look decorative while I work.’

He threw back his head and laughed.

The kitchen, which had originally served the entire household, was now Sarah’s private domain. But years before it had been renovated to Margaret Parker’s requirements, with modern appliances and cupboards, and
plenty of space for pots of herbs on the broad ledge of a window Sarah’s master builder grandfather had enlarged to give his wife a better view of the garden. These days Margaret’s state-of-the art kitchen was upstairs in her self-contained flat, converted from a small spare bedroom with the same view.

When they sat down to eat puffy omelettes flavoured with parsley and chives, Jake attacked his with gusto.

‘Though after the lunch we ate I hadn’t expected to be hungry again today,’ he commented.

Sarah glanced up at the clock on the wall. ‘It’s after nine. Hours since lunch. Have some more bread.’

‘This is a big kitchen for just you, Sarah,’ he said, eyeing his surroundings.

‘Especially as my main activity in here is throwing a salad together! But in its heyday it would have served a big household, probably as much as a dozen or so originally.’ She smiled. ‘Three attic bedrooms and four double bedrooms, one with dressing room. But originally only one bathroom—with a solitary lavatory inside it—to serve all the occupants. At one time there was another, in an outhouse at the back, but that was kept for the servants’ use, in the days when people had such things.’

Jake smiled. ‘Sounds like the setting for a television costume drama.’

Sarah got up to take their plates, then made coffee. ‘It’s a huge contrast to the home I grew up in. My father was a civil engineer who worked in hotel construction all over the world. He had a house built for my mother, complete with every gadget and convenience possible to make life easy for her.’

‘Was your mother delicate, then?’

‘She wasn’t the most robust of people, it’s true, but that wasn’t the reason. It was just the way Dad was with
her. Always.’ Sarah leaned against the counter, waiting for the coffee to perk. ‘I only realised how special their marriage was when I was old enough to notice other people’s. My parents idolised each other.’

Jake looked at her questioningly. ‘Did that mean you felt excluded?’

‘Good heavens, no. I felt part of the equation, always.’ She brought the coffee pot over and sat down to pour.

He leaned over to touch her hand. ‘So there was no problem with them when Davy was born?’

Sarah kept her eyes on her task. ‘Not in that way.’

Jake leaned back again. ‘But it must have been pretty tough for a teenager, just the same.’

‘Not nearly as tough as for some. Because Davy was born in my gap year I was able to take up my college place, as planned. And I led a normal, rackety student life during term, but switched back to the role of Mummy when I went home—’ Sarah stopped abruptly. ‘This isn’t something I normally discuss, Jake.’

‘I’m very much aware of that. Thank you, Sarah. And now,’ he added briskly, ‘what time shall I call for you on Wednesday morning?’

‘I’d like to get there by twelve if possible,’ she said, grateful to him for changing the subject.

‘Right. I’ll be here at six.’

‘Sorry to get you up at that hour.’

‘Not a bit of it. I wake early most mornings,’ he assured her. ‘And I’d rather start when the roads are relatively quiet. We can stop for coffee somewhere, to break the journey, and grab something to eat at the hotel when we get there.’

Sarah smiled at him gratefully. ‘This is very good of you, Jake.’

‘As I keep saying, Miss Tracy, it’s what friends are
for.’ He got up reluctantly. ‘Thank you for supper. Shall I help wash up?’

She shook her head, laughing. ‘You’re just too good to be true, Jake Hogan. I’ll let you off the dishes in case your halo gets too tight.’

He grinned. ‘I only offered so I could stay longer!’

‘You can do that anyway. Come back to the sitting room for a while.’

He followed her into the other room and sat down with her on the sofa. ‘Good. Now we can practise behaving like the old friends we’re supposed to be. Though that isn’t difficult. Not for me, anyway.’

‘Nor for me.’ Sarah turned her head on the sofa-back to look at him. ‘I’m very glad you came to the lunch today, Jake.’

‘So am I.’ He smiled into her eyes. ‘I’ll send flowers to Alison tomorrow. Though she won’t know I’m really thanking her for an entire Sunday spent with you. Not something that’s likely to occur often, alas.’

‘True,’ Sarah agreed with regret.

‘Would Davy really object if the three of us spent time together?’

‘Probably not. But that isn’t going to happen just the same, Jake.’

He was silent for a moment. ‘Why not?’

She sighed. ‘Because you and I may not remain—friends, Jake. So I can’t risk any attachment to you on Davy’s part. Her world fell apart when my parents died. It’s taken from that time almost until now to give her any real sense of security. This wavered badly when she went to board at Roedale, but she’s getting back on course again now and I want her to stay that way.’

Jake looked across at the photograph of the two smil
ing faces, then turned back to Sarah. ‘So are you saying you’ve never had a relationship since Davy was born?’

‘No, I’m not. I had boyfriends in college, like everyone else, but nothing significant. And Davy was never involved.’ Sarah looked away. ‘I led a perfectly normal life—or what I thought of as a normal life—until my parents died. After that everything changed. We had to move in here with my grandmother, and you know the rest.’

‘So you won’t let a man into your life in case the relationship harms Davy,’ said Jake slowly.

‘Which has been no problem up to now,’ she admitted.

Jake reached out a hand to turn her face to his. ‘Up to now,’ he repeated inexorably. ‘Does that mean you’d consider a closer relationship with me if it weren’t for Davy?’

Sarah nodded wordlessly, then closed her eyes, suddenly defenceless when he drew her into his arms. ‘Please, Jake!’

‘Please what?’ he whispered, and kissed her very gently.

It wasn’t fair, she thought wildly. The merest touch of Jake’s lips roused all kinds of hot, unbidden responses never experienced with the most passionate overtures from anyone else.

‘Don’t push me away, Sarah. You need a little tender loving care,’ he whispered, raising his head a fraction.

‘Is that what this is?’ she said unevenly, and closed her eyes against the heat in his.

‘Yes,’ he said tightly. ‘And it’s killing me, because I want a hell of a lot more.’

He kissed her again, and this time the kiss was hot and hard, and for the first time she answered it in kind,
shivers running down her spine as his tongue met hers and his hands slid upwards beneath her shirt to caress her bare back. Her breasts tautened in anticipation of the caresses she was sure would happen any second as the kiss deepened. The growing hunger of it set her body alight, and she gasped as his fingers sought the nipples straining against the thin cotton of her shirt. Heat streaked through her from his fingertips, the shock of it causing such turbulence her inevitable defence mechanism sprang to life, and she jerked away violently, hands outstretched to ward him off.

Jake gave a smothered groan and leapt to his feet to stand at the windows, his chest heaving as he stared out blindly into the dark, while Sarah slumped into a corner of the sofa, feeling as though she’d been dropped from a great height. It was a long time before she could trust her voice, but at last she cleared her throat, her dark eyes heavy with remorse. ‘I’m sorry, Jake.’

He stayed where he was, his back turned to her. ‘So am I,’ he said tersely. ‘Because you’re a puzzle I just can’t solve. I want you, Sarah. And it hurts like hell to know you don’t want me.’

‘Ah, but I do,’ she said miserably.

Jake turned sharply, his eyes blazing into hers. ‘So why—?’ Colour leached suddenly from his face. ‘Sarah, for God’s sake, tell me! Were you raped?’

Sarah jumped up to take his hands. ‘
No
, Jake. It was nothing like that.’

Jake held her close, his cheek rubbing against her hair as he let out a deep breath of relief. ‘Thank goodness for that, at least.’ He pulled away a little and smiled down at her. ‘Maybe one day you’ll be able to tell me about it. When you know me better. Which I’m determined you will. Better than anyone else in the world, in
fact. But for now I’m going to let you get some rest and take myself off home.’

‘Thank you, Jake,’ she said huskily.

‘What for, exactly?’

Sarah’s eyes were luminous in her flushed face. ‘Everything.’

M
ARGARET
P
ARKER
left for Pisa with a group of friends next day. And without her formidable presence the atmosphere in the house seemed lighter. Far from feeling lonely or nervous, Sarah was happy to have the place to herself, her spirits rising even further when Jake rang.

‘Just thought I’d report in, check that all was well with you, Sarah.’

‘How nice of you.’

‘I
am
nice.’ He chuckled. ‘My day has been incredibly boring, so tell me about yours.’

‘Much the same as usual, except for a shopping spree after work. And I’ve been chatting to Nick, the amazingly jittery bridegroom. He rang earlier to make sure I was coming.’

‘Did you mention me?’

‘I certainly did. He told me to say he’s looking forward to meeting you, then went on at enormous length about the virtues of his Delphine. The man’s head over heels in love at last!’

‘You don’t mind that?’

‘Of course not. Nick and I have always been the best of friends. But there was never anything else between us.’

‘So I’ve no reason to feel jealous?’

‘None at all.’ Sarah paused. ‘
Are
you the jealous type, Jake?’

‘Only when you’re concerned, it seems,’ he said lightly. ‘So tell me about your shopping spree.’

‘I hired a hat for the occasion.’

‘One of those big cartwheel affairs?’

‘No. Small and frivolous.’

‘Can’t wait to see you in it. What else did you buy?’

‘The wedding gift—’

‘I’m glad you mentioned that. As well as the pleasure of talking to you, Miss Tracy, I rang to pick your brains. What shall
I
buy the happy pair?’

‘Since you’ve never met them, you don’t need to buy them anything.’

‘What did you choose?’

Sarah described the hand-carved wooden fruit bowl she’d chosen, but glossed over the fact that its price tag had put paid to new shoes. ‘We can both sign the card,’ she suggested.

‘Then I insist on paying half—I won’t ruffle your feathers by offering to foot the entire bill!’

‘Wise man,’ she said, laughing. ‘Half will do nicely.’ So nicely she might search through the sales for shoes next day after all.

‘I’ll be home latish tomorrow evening, Sarah, but I’ll be with you bright and early on Wednesday.’

‘I’ll be ready. Goodnight, Jake. Thanks for ringing.’

‘My pleasure.’

Her pleasure too, Sarah acknowledged as she got ready for bed. Added to the sexual attraction which grew stronger every time they met, she liked every last thing about Jake Hogan. His smile, his voice, his looks. His touch. The mere thought of his hands on her skin and his mouth on hers, and— Her mind veered away sharply. She knew she was a frustrating puzzle to Jake, but there were some vital missing pieces to put in place before she could even begin to consider the kind of relationship
he wanted. And which she was beginning to want just as much.

Sarah was in the middle of packing the following evening when Jake rang her doorbell, demanding entry.

She let him in, her delight undisguised at the sight of him. Then her eyes widened in dismay. Something had happened. He couldn’t take her to the wedding after all. ‘Something wrong, Jake?’

‘I just needed to see you,’ he said simply, and kissed her briefly.

Sarah was so pleased to hear it she kissed him back. ‘I thought you’d come to say you couldn’t make it tomorrow,’ she said, as they went into the sitting room.

‘Not a bit of it,’ he assured her, and sank down on the sofa, stifling a yawn. ‘I’ve spent the last two days working my socks off to make sure I can leave Pentiles to its own devices for a while.’

‘Have you eaten?’

‘Yes. I took pity on my staff and had something sent in between meetings. So right now I just want to sit and hold hands with you for a few minutes.’ Jake held up his hand and Sarah took it, letting him draw her down beside him.

‘You look tired,’ she commented.

‘I am. But I shall get myself to bed early tonight. And then tomorrow I’m yours,’ he assured her. ‘All through the meetings and presentations I missed you yesterday, Sarah. I missed you today, too. Which is why I’m here, even though I’ll be seeing you in the morning.’ His grasp tightened. ‘And not just for the kiss—which I couldn’t help when I saw the worried look in those beautiful eyes.’

‘Worried I didn’t have a driver for tomorrow,’ she agreed with feeling.

He moved closer. ‘Would you have been disappointed?’

‘Yes.’ Sarah looked down at their clasped hands. ‘And not just because I didn’t want to go alone, either.’

Jake put a finger under her chin to turn her face up to his. ‘Can it be the lady’s warming towards me?’

‘You know I am!’ She met his eyes steadily. ‘But the situation still stands, Jake.’

He nodded, resigned. ‘But the odd friendly kiss can’t do any harm. In fact,’ he added, melting her with the eye-crinkling smile, ‘it would do me a whole lot of good.’

For answer she tilted her chin in invitation.

Jake kissed her gently, then took her by surprise by lifting her onto his lap. When she leaned into him instead of struggling to get away he gave a relishing sigh and held her close. But after a moment or two his arms tightened, and heat flared in his eyes, the pupils extending to cover the blue iris. Sarah gazed into them, spellbound, and with a smothered sound he bent his head and kissed her, his tongue caressing hers. She melted against him, responding with such fervour their hearts were thudding in unison when the need for air forced them to separate. Breathing hard, Jake straightened with reluctance and gazed down into her dazed face.

‘I was wrong. That did me no good at all.’

‘I know what you mean,’ she said unevenly. ‘If those are your friendly kisses what are the passionate ones like? Don’t demonstrate!’ she added hastily, then frowned. ‘That’s an unsettling look in your eye. What’s wrong?’

Jake was silent for a moment, then gave her an oddly bleak smile. ‘I keep wondering about your old pal Nick
Morrell.’ He gave her a hard, devouring kiss by way of illustration. ‘Were you on these kind of terms with him?’

Sarah shook her head vehemently. ‘No. Not like this. Never like this. With anyone.’

‘No one at all?’ Jake smoothed the hair away from her forehead, his eyes holding hers.

‘I know what you’re asking, Jake.’ She would have slid from his lap, but he held her fast. ‘All right. I’ll tell you just one thing, Jake, on condition we don’t talk about it any more.’ She sat rigid for a moment, then sagged against him, burying her face against his shoulder. ‘Other than my grandmother, no one knows that Davy owes her existence to a single moment of misguided sympathy.’

Jake stroked her hair in silence for a moment, then stood up with her and set her on her feet. ‘Thank you, darling. It can’t have been easy for you to tell me that. And now I must go. See you in the morning.’

‘You were right, Jake. You are definitely not the average male.’ Sarah smiled crookedly. ‘Any other man would be hammering at me with more questions.’

He kissed her again. ‘I admit I want to know every last thing about you, Sarah, but I promise I’ll be patient until you can trust me with the entire story. So get some sleep, darling. It’s going to be a long day tomorrow.’

Jake arrived next morning on the stroke of six, as promised, in jeans and a navy jersey over a thin shirt, which was so similar to Sarah’s choice of clothes she laughed as he gave her a swift kiss.

‘We look like twins,’ she told him.

‘Not quite,’ he said with a grin, giving her a head-to-toe survey.

Jake refused coffee in favour of leaving immediately
to avoid the morning rush hour, stowed Sarah’s belongings in the car, then waited while she made sure the house was secure.

‘My grandmother’s on holiday,’ she explained, sliding into the passenger seat. ‘But I’ve plugged in the gadgets that make the lights come on, and cancelled the milk and newspapers, and double-checked all the windows and doors.’

‘Then you were alone in the house last night?’ asked Jake as he drove off.

‘Yes.’

He slanted a look at her. ‘But you didn’t tell me that in case I carried you up to your bed and demanded my evil way, I suppose?’

‘I sleep downstairs, so it doesn’t apply,’ she said, unmoved. ‘And, believe it or not, I just forgot to mention it.’

‘I believe everything you tell me, Sarah.’

‘Good. Anyway, it was Grandma’s trip to Italy which originally gave me doubts about going to the wedding. But the school has my mobile number, and the details of the hotel in Norfolk, and Alison offered to stand in as back-up for Davy if the need arises.’ Sarah shivered. ‘Which I devoutly hope it won’t.’

Jake touched her hand for an instant. ‘Of course it won’t. But even if it does I’ll get you back here at the speed of light.’

‘I hope that’s not your normal approach to motorway driving?’ she asked, laughing.

‘Don’t worry, you’ll arrive in one piece, but I may need a bit of guidance to find the actual spot once we leave the A11.’

‘No problem, I’m a brilliant navigator,’ she assured
him. ‘But we’ve got a lot of motorway to get through yet before I start grappling with a map.’

Jake drove not only with speed, but with such skill Sarah relaxed when she found he was capable of paying attention to the road at the same time as giving details of his trip to London, which had included a meal eaten with his brother.

‘Did you tell him about me, Jake?’

‘Yes.’

Sarah gave him a wry glance. ‘Was he surprised? Or didn’t you tell him about Davy?’

‘Of course I did. We’re pretty close, Liam and I. We like to know the other is enjoying life.’

‘And is Liam enjoying his?’

‘The work part, yes, as usual. But his romance has come unstuck.’

‘Poor Liam.’ Sarah changed the subject to talk about the wedding, which had put a strain on the accommodation available in the area. ‘Nick says the bride’s family lives in a vast old rectory, which will be crammed to the rafters with as many relations as possible to leave room in the area for the other guests.’

‘Talking of which, how, exactly, do I introduce myself to your chums?’ asked Jake.

‘As Sarah’s friend, of course.’

‘A bit lukewarm for my taste. You won’t allow lover, I know, and I draw the line at boyfriend. How about partner?’

She shook her head. ‘That implies that we live together.’

‘As we would, if I had my way,’ he said, startling her.

‘But how can you want that when we’ve never even—?’ she began, then stopped, colour flooding her face.

‘Made love?’ He sent her a smouldering look, then returned his attention to the three lanes of motorway crowded as far as the eye could see by this time with London-bound traffic. ‘The fact had not escaped my attention, Sarah. Though the foretaste I’ve been granted makes it obvious we’d be good together. More than good. Sensational.’ He drew in a deep breath. ‘Now for pity’s sake let’s change the subject—it’s bad for me when I’m driving.’

They stopped later at a motorway service restaurant for coffee and toast and a breather for Jake, who declined Sarah’s offer to help with the driving.

‘Not,’ he assured her, ‘because I refuse to let a woman drive me. But I don’t want you to arrive at the hotel too tired to enjoy the wedding.’

‘Thank you,’ she said, her smile so warm Jake reached a hand across the table to take hers.

‘Are you aware of the effect of that smile of yours?’

‘No,’ she said, surprised.

‘I thought so. Be sparing with it today. With other men,’ he added.

Sarah’s eyes flashed. ‘Orders, Jake?’

‘Advice, not orders.’ He wagged an admonishing finger. ‘I’m your escort, Miss Tracy, so save that particular smile for me.’

It had been cool with early-morning mist when they started out, but by this time the sun was so hot they discarded their sweaters before resuming their journey.

“‘Happy the bride the sun shines on,’” said Sarah.

‘It’s going to be a scorcher,’ agreed Jake, and donned dark glasses for the rest of the journey.

Due to Jake’s powerful car, and his skill as a driver, plus the added bonus of Sarah’s navigating skills, they arrived at the Greenacres Hotel shortly after eleven.
Sarah spotted the bridegroom in the bar with a trio of friends, and all four of them came rushing to greet her the moment she appeared in the doorway. Grinning broadly, Nick Morrell got there first, and gave her a crushing hug before passing her on to Frances and Grania, then to Paul, completing the circle of friends who had once shared a house with Sarah in student days.

Once the hugging and kissing had abated, Sarah took Jake by the hand and drew him forward. ‘This is Jake Hogan, everyone.’

Jake was immediately pounced on by both women, but Nick interrupted, laughing, so he could introduce Paul Bailey, his best man.

‘Present company came to provide moral support, to make sure I don’t get too nervous to remember my lines. Order more coffee, Paul, would you? The others will be back shortly,’ said Nick, putting an arm round Sarah. ‘Ben—Grania’s husband,’ he told Jake, ‘is out searching the neighbourhood for a bed for the night.’

‘With my Tom as guide, which is worrying, because he’s never been to this neck of the woods before,’ put in Frances. ‘We tried wheedling at the little place we’re in, but no luck. Everything’s booked solid locally for the wedding.’

‘It’s all my fault,’ said Grania penitently. ‘I meant to book the minute I got the invitation, then it went clean out of my mind. By the time I got round to it there was no room at any inn at all.’ She pulled a face. ‘Ben is not pleased with me. I’ve grovelled to the receptionist here for first refusal if a cancellation comes in, but that’s a pretty fond hope. Never mind. We can always sleep in the car.’

‘The men can do that,’ said Frances instantly. ‘You can bunk in with me.’

Grania shook her head. ‘That’s sweet of you, Fran, but I wouldn’t dream of putting Tom out just because I was an idiot. Anyway, Sarah, let’s get on to more important subjects. We want to hear all about your gorgeous Davy—’ She halted, casting an uncertain glance at Jake.

‘Apart from getting stuck up a tree on Sunday,’ he said quickly, ‘Davy’s doing fine.’