Save Me (8 page)

              Oliver James has lost his mind, yep that is the only logical explanation for this kind of question, and what is he thinking? Marriage was not kind to me the first time around, I am not sure I am cut out for it. I know that I want to be with him forever, but marriage. I have had the whole deer in headlights thing going on for a total of 5 minutes, Oli is standing here staring at me intensely, waiting for a response. “Grace I know this is sudden and I know it probably comes as a shock to you, but I love you, I think I have loved you since you thought I was a predator on your porch that first night,” He said laughing.

              Oh, the man does know how to flatter a girl. Say something you fool. “Oli, you know how much I love you, right?” He nodded his head yes, “But I didn’t exactly have the greatest marriage the first time and I am just not sure how I feel about it.” His face fell, I hate that I am making him wait for this. “Grace I get it, really, I just want you to know that I am not Max; I will honor and cherish you for the rest of my life, I will crawl on my knees through fire into the pits of hell and back for you and for Belle, I think I already have.” His confessions made me smile. He is so honest and he really is all mine. “Oli, I don’t know what to say,” I really did not.

              “It’s ok Grace; I need to head home for a few minutes to get a few things squared away,” He said it with almost a cold undertone. He walked over kissed my forehead and left. I stood there and watched him walk down my driveway. Grace you are an idiot. What are you doing? You have waited your whole life to be loved like this. My subconscious was not letting me off the hook on this one, she was a meddling bitch but I loved that about her sometimes. Run, Run you fool go to him! Marry the poor bastard that you loves you! My subconscious was screaming at me but my feet would not move. Suddenly I had this vision of my future, one without pain and suffering and running, it was peaceful and so beautiful; I took off like a bat out of hell down the driveway. The entire time I kept thinking how ridiculous I felt for trying to run from him all this time. I deserved to be happy and so did Belle. I felt like I was running toward my future the entire way and I know that I had a damn stupid grin on my face the whole way to him.

              I kept running until I literally almost ran smack into him. “Oliver, wait,” I was screaming, he stopped and turned to me. “Grace, what are you doing?” He asked. I smiled and opened my mouth to say “Yes,” I said. He stopped and looked confused. “Yes, what,” He asked. “Yes I’ll marry you!” I said at the top of my lungs.

              He scooped me up in a huge hug and clung to me as if I was his lifeline, when in all reality he was mine, I was seizing the day in this moment and choosing a life with a man who honestly loved me more than I could have ever imagined. He set me down on my feet and I steadied myself, it was then that he reached into his pocket and pulled out the biggest freaking diamond ring I have ever seen. “I got this for you before Max came back, I was waiting for the right time but there never seemed to be a right time. I just thought now was as good a time as any,” He said holding the box.

              I gladly held out my left hand and he slipped the ring on my finger. “Oliver this ring is absolutely beautiful, how did you afford this, I mean its huge,” I laughed.  He laughed at first and then his face twisted into a frown. “Grace I have money, I have a lot of money. Don’t worry about it,” He said grinning. Ok well that was unexpected but ok. “Now take me inside and have your way with me,” I said grinning this time.  He smiled a wicked grin. “With pleasure, with great pleasure.”

CHAPTER 3

Two weeks later

              Oliver and I had been very busy planning our future, we wanted to have just a small ceremony for the wedding, with it being both of ours second wedding and all. I had no interest in a big show and neither did he, simple was how it should be. Especially since our first, few months together had been so chaotic. We had no idea what was going to happen with Oliver’s trial either. As we got closer and closer to the date I was beginning to go into denial of the fact that I might not get to have my happily ever after with him. I did not like the feelings I had on a daily basis; it was hard to ignore them though. Love just rather kicks you in the gut when you are not expecting it. Oliver was so unexpected and everything he has done for us has been unexpected. I am so grateful to him but I do not want to lose him after all we have been through.

              I was very excited though to be getting ready to marry my best friend; Maggie was having a field day with wedding plans. She was mad at us when we announced we just wanted to keep it simple, “Fine she said, but I get to plan a reception in your honor on my terms!” Oliver thought it was best to just humor her; she was not a force to be reasoned with, I was happy to have her in my life too.

              Tomorrow was our big day, we were just going to the pastor in town to get married in Maggie’s living room, nothing fancy but it was what we wanted. I found myself growing nervous. I have no reason to be nervous though. Gloria stopped by this morning, no doubt to check up on me and make sure I was not running for the hills, but she said it was normal to be nervous. This I know because I was much more nervous when I married Max, maybe because I hardly knew him and he was so intimidating.

              I know that something has been bothering me for weeks now, something Maggie said to me before Oliver came home. She talked about how he liked control, and how she was surprised when he was not very dominating with me. I have no clue what she meant by that. Oliver was far from dominating and never tried to control me. It was bothering me though, Max was very dominating with me and I hated it. I do not like to be controlled and I was for years with Max. Oliver was due at my house any minute; we were going to go over some last minute details for tomorrow, I need to tell him what Maggie said to me and let him know how I feel, I also need to know if this is really something he struggles with.

              No sooner than I thought it, he was pulling down the drive. Belle was lying on the floor with her blankie and watching Frozen for the zillionth time. “Morning baby, how are you today,” He said. His voice always sends chills down my spine.

              “Hey there, I am doing well, how are you?” I said. He bends down to give me a chaste kiss on the lips. “Much better now, I didn’t sleep well last night,” I confessed. Oli did not sleep over every night, but Maggie insisted we spend a few nights apart this week because of our upcoming nuptials. I agreed because I wanted to spend some extra time with Belle, I wanted to make sure that she understood what was happening. She was talking about Max some days and it broke my heart.

              “Well I didn’t sleep well either, I hate it when you are not here, but I am grateful for this time with Belle. I think she will be ok but I want to make sure,” I said. Oli smiled sweetly. “You are not having cold feet are you?” his smile fell into frown. “No of course not, but there is a few things I want to talk to you about,” I said quietly. He looked worried, as if I had just aged him twenty years. “Relax Oli, I am not running,” I said quickly to reassure him. I cannot blame anyone but myself for his doubts; I am the champion of running.

              “Ok well whatever it is I will gladly offer up a solution or information if that is what you are after,” He knows that I want to ask him something. “Ok well since Belle is about to be asleep, let’s go into the kitchen and talk.” He smiled and followed me into the kitchen.

              “Well first of all, I really just need clarification, when you were gone, Maggie mentioned something to me and she didn’t really clarify. I guess I am just concerned and confused. I was going to say something sooner but I figured it was nothing, and then it just kept bothering me more and more.” He looked at me wide eyed and confused. “Grace, whatever it is I will tell you, just tell me already,” He said concerned.

              “Well she mentioned that it was strange how you acted with me, she said that you are usually so dominate with woman. That you had been that way with Lindsay, but you’re not that way at all with me, I mean I noticed the wanting to take care of me and help me in the beginning, but I figured that was just because I was so broken. Max was really dominating with me and it was scary, it was not until after I had gotten pregnant that I noticed and at first, it was just little things like wanting to know where I was, or wanting to make decisions for me. Then it all was screwed up, I do not think that you would do those things to me, but I have to know…” he blinked up at me wide eyed and almost afraid, there was about a 10 second pause and then he let out an exasperated sigh and finally said.

              “Grace, that is a part of my life I have been trying to leave behind since Lindsay, but yes I am a very dominate person, I do not know where it comes from I just have always had this urge to take care of the woman I am seeing. Things changed when Lindsay died, I was not abusive towards her at all, but I was always concerned with her wellbeing and I always wanted to know where she was, yes it was a problem with us, she didn’t like it and I didn’t care, I demanded to know at all times what she was doing and since I have the money that I do I hired personal security to detail her 24/7, we had weird work schedules so she wasn’t always home and neither was I, I needed to know she was always safe, we live in New York for Christ’s sake, but at times I found myself getting possessive, I tried to hold back but I couldn’t,” he said.

              “So when I first met you I had to fight the urges to do the same things, believe me it was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, I didn’t want to be that way with you after learning what you had been through, but don’t think for a second that I haven’t felt the urge to control situations with you, walking away the day I proposed was really hard for me. I knew that I could make you happy and I knew how  you felt, all the times you ran from me, from us was hard for me, I had to fight it every time not say no, you will do what I say, or fight the urge to not pick you up and haul you over my shoulder,” he confessed.

              He was eyeing my reactions carefully, a part of me understands what he is saying but now I am afraid he will always struggle with this. “Oli, thank you for being so honest with me, I do understand what you are saying, and while I trust you irrevocably, I am also afraid that these urges will only get stronger from here, so where do we go now?” I asked confused.

              “Grace, we are getting married tomorrow, mark my words, whether or not you are afraid of my alter ego or not, it will happen. We are meant to be together, everything else is just stupid shit we can work out along the way. Just trust in me and know that I will never hurt you, it is so much easier to control the urges to boss your pretty ass around when I know that Max is gone. I do not have to worry as much, but I do still worry,” He said grinning from ear to ear. I guess I understand it, wanting to protect someone you love makes perfectly good sense.

              “Oli, I do trust you with my life, please don’t ever forget that. I just want to get our lives started together; I don’t want anything else to get in the way of it, not anymore.” He kissed my forehead, swooped me up, and ran down the hall to the bedroom, “Shh…you’ll wake Belle,” I giggled.

CHAPTER 4

              Today is the day, the day I marry the love of my life, it seems like I have waited my whole life to be in this bliss. I bought a tea length white dress, simple and plain, but elegant and beautiful. I also bought Belle a matching dress, she was so excited, and “I have never been to a wedding mommy, “she squealed. I had talked to her about what it meant that I was marrying Oli, she understood well for a four year old. She asked why I was not married to her daddy anymore and when I explained what little I could so that she would understand, she surprised me by saying, and “Well I want Oli to be my new daddy,” she confessed. When I told Oliver, his eyes swelled up with tears, he loves kids and could not wait to have a family, I am afraid to say that everything feels perfect…but it does.

              Maggie and I had a heart to heart before the ceremony, “Oh Gracie, I am so thankful that you came into our lives, especially into Oliver’s, he was so lost without you and you have brought him back to life in so many ways, he loves you and adores Belle, don’t let all the little things get you down, don’t run, ever, just love each other and I promise you the rest will fall into place, it always does,” she said with tears in her  eyes.

              I was standing in the doorway waiting to walk in; Belle had a hold of my hand and was admiring her pretty bouquet that Maggie has made to match mine. Ok, Grace just breathe. Belle and I walked hand in hand down the tiny little isle covered in flower petals, when I reached my destination where Oliver was standing I felt my eyes swell up with tears, I feel so blessed to have this man, this beautiful man standing here wanting to marry me. “Grace you look so beautiful, and my Belle you are as pretty as ever,” Oli said sweetly. “Thank you daddy,” Belle said sweetly. I heard Maggie gasp with excitement and Oliver’s eyes started to tear up. Mr. Ambrose was the town pastor, he was an elderly man with a long white beard and he always wore sandals, rain or shine, he grabbed my hand, placed it in Oli’s, and smiled.

              “Today two people become one, Marriage is one of the oldest symbols of love in the world, and it is fragile and must be handled with care, so many people take marriage and love for granted; I have known Oliver James his entire life, he is kind and deserves nothing but the best, so when he came to me and told me in a confession one day that he was in love with Ms. Grace Peterson I wasn’t sure what to say, besides, well son marry the girl, ”Mr. Ambrose said. The whole room laughed. We had about 20 people in attendance, what a sweet man, the pastor. “To say that it has been an easy road that has led them here would not be accurate. It has taken them a lot of tears and heartache. So today I stand here as proud as ever to be joining these two in marriage,” he said with a smile. Everything seemed to be happening exactly how I pictured it would, everything that Pastor Ambrose said was true and I seriously cried the entire time. Once we said our vows and our I do’s Oliver kissed me so tenderly and that was it! We were husband and wife, finally!

              Maggie through us a very small but elegant reception, the entire town was there, considering it is not very many but a lot for this town. It was so beautiful, we danced our first dance to God Blessed the Broken Road, by Rascal Flats, I of course cried again. Humming the lyrics of the song Oliver kissed me gently and quietly sang in my ear, “Every long lost dream led me to where you are, others who broke my heart they were like northern stars, pointing me on my way into your loving arms…” he said singing proudly.

              “Are you happy, Oli?” I said quietly. “Happy doesn’t even begin to cover it baby, I am so much more, I am complete, and you and Belle complete my life,” he said and kissed my forehead.