Save Me (5 page)

“You need to tell her Oli.  I have spent a lot of time with her.  She is incredible, she has a great voice too,   I heard her in the kitchen one day; she blows Carrie Underwood out of the water,” Maggie said.

“I didn’t know that about her, but that is what I mean I am always surprised with her.  Look at how beautiful she is Mags; she is too good for me,” Oliver said.

Just then, I stepped on a creak in the floor.  They both turned and I came around the corner.  “Hey, are you ready to go,” I said to Oliver.  Oliver jumped a little.  At least he did not know I was standing there.  “Hey Grace, sure let’s go.” He said embarrassed. 

Once we got into the car, I could sense the tension.  When we got to Gloria’s, I went to get out of the car and Oliver reached for my hand.  I stopped dead in my tracks.  OMG, his touch was so amazing to me.  “Grace, we need to talk,” he said.  Oh no, he is going to say it here? 

“Ok, about what,” I said confused.   I turned around and stared into his big green eyes.  They got me every time. 

“Well, the past few months have been…incredible, I love being with you and I told that you have brought me back to life.  I thought that I would never feel like this again but I can tell all of this makes you nervous and I know it hurts, but I want to be there for you and Belle.  I want to take care of you.  I have wanted to take care of you since the moment I saw you.  It was never like that with Lindsay.  I loved her, God did I love her.  But it was here and gone so fast, and well I have moved on.” He said.

Oh, lord.  Here it goes…just breathe Grace, just breathe.  “Grace I know something happened to you and I know that you think you do not deserve a second chance to be happy in life, but you do.  I have never met someone so smart and innocent, you are so beautiful, and it hurts.  You are the best mother to Belle and she loves you so much.  I love her too!  She is such a good, sweet and loveable child and I am so grateful just to have you both in my life. Grace, I love you,” he said grabbing my face in his hands.

Shit!  Why me?  Why does he love me?  It will not last when he knows.  “Say something Grace, please,” he begged. “I…I don’t know what to say, I care about you Oliver, but you cannot love me, I am not who you think I am.  I have done things and things have happened to me that I cannot change, you cannot love me.  You just can’t,” I said. “But I do, and I cannot change how I feel, why are so scared?  Let me fix it, let me save you Grace,” he was almost pleading with me now.

I was so upset; I could feel the tears running down my face.  I was angry and sad and happy all at the same time, if that is even freaking possible.  I did not want to say it, but I had to, I had to make him understand that he cannot love me, I am nothing.  He needs to know that if he knew the real me he would not feel this way.  If he knew everything about me and about Max, he would have walked away.

“You can’t save me Oliver!  I have already drowned and I will never come back to the surface, no matter what I do, I’m sorry,” I said coldly. I could see the hurt in is his eyes. 

That was it.  I got out of the car and went home and I did not look back no matter how much I wanted to and it hurt, it was real deep life shattering pain, but I had to deal with it,   I heard a faint sigh followed by silence.  This was it, I was letting go of something that could have been something, and I had to.  If Max ever found us, Oliver, Maggie, Gloria, they would never be safe.  We would never be safe.  I have to leave here.  I thought that Belle and I had found a home where we could start over.  I was very wrong.

Why did he have to fall in love with me?  Why?  It ruined everything. I ran inside to my bedroom and I pulled out the suitcases that I had from the day I first got here, and they were not big enough for everything that we had gotten since we moved here.  What will I tell Belle?  Will she understand?  She was so happy and thriving here, no shake it off it is ok, this is the right choice, she will understand, I can do this.  I stood and took a deep breathe, tomorrow, we were leaving tomorrow.

chapter 8

I had spent the night packing, I told Maggie that I would pick up Belle around ten, and it was nine pm.  I needed to hurry.  I am sure that Oliver had already been by Maggie’s and told her everything.  I was surprised she had not beaten down my door yet.  She was nosy like that. 

As much as I loved Maggie for being such a great friend and a huge help to me with Belle, she was pushing this too far with Oliver.  She would never understand why I could not be with him.  She should be thanking me for not getting him tangled up in my shit pile of a life.  I was trying to protect him, all of them really. 

I was packing up my dresser when I looked over at the mirror.  I picked up the picture of Oliver and me at the movies.  It was a silly picture, but I loved it.  I suddenly smelt his cologne.  It was on the shirt I had just packed up, that is strange; I thought I had washed it. 

I looked at myself in the mirror, look at you Grace; you are a total and complete mess.  You have done this to yourself.  I looked away disgusted with my own reflection, just then, I heard a car. Shit, who is this?  I heard the car door shut, followed by the footsteps on the porch.  It was Maggie, she had Belle and wait, it was Gloria too!  Oh great!  I cannot do this now, and they will not understand.

“Hey, thanks for bringing Belle home I really…” Maggie put her hand up in the air and said, “Save it Grace!  I know what happened, but what I really want to know is why,” she said. Maggie could see right through me, as if I was glass.

“Hey there Grace dear, sorry to ambush you like this sweetie, but crazy pants over here is right, we want to know why,” Gloria said with a small smile.  I did not owe them an explanation.  Well actually, I owed both of them much more, I owed them everything.  “I cannot have this conversation, not now.  Not in front of Belle,” I said looking down at my sleepy girl.

“Oh well that’s where I come in,” Gloria said.  “I am going to put Miss Belle to bed because she is one tired little diva.  I want the whole story so you will have to retell it when I get done, but go ahead and start without me.”  She turned and picked up Belle.  I gave her a quick kiss and hug and off they went. Maggie gave me about six seconds before she started up again.

“Ok Grace, I have given you long enough, when you first came here, we gave you time and space.  I knew something was up with you, no one just moves to Good Hope on purpose.  I mean for real, this is the most boring small little town I have ever known.  I liked you right away, I could not understand at first why Oli was so infatuated with you or why he felt the need to constantly take care of you, but when I met you, I understood.  You have a wounded heart written all over your face.  However, you are brave, I can see it.  I did not expect us to be as close as we are, but I am happy.  I just need the truth, mainly for me, but also mostly for Oliver.  He is in love with you sweetie, he does not do that very often, fall in love.  The last time he did, he lost big time.  Do not make him lose again; I don’t think I will get him back this time,” Maggie said as her eyes swelled up with tears.

I felt sick.  I know I owed them the truth, but at what cost?  If Max finds us, he will kill anyone who stands in his way.  Breathe Grace, breathe.  “Grace it’s time to stop running,” she said. “How did you know I was running?”  She was very observant. 

“I saw the suitcases, don’t play stupid with me girl!”  She looked at me with confused eager eyes.  “Grace, it’s time to stop running, let us help you,” she said again.

“Ok, Ok, but once I tell you, you will understand and probably tell Oliver and since he is the police around here, I am sure…I don’t know what I am sure of anymore,” I said my voice trailing off.  I felt like I could not catch my breath. “Oh for crying out loud Grace, just tell me the damn secret or whatever it is you’re hiding,” she said impatiently. I took a deep breath and sat down on the sofa.

“My parents and my siblings died when I was young.  I went to live with my uncle who did not treat me bad, but he did not really care either.  I threw myself into my studies, all I wanted to do was get a scholarship and use the rest of the money from my parent’s inheritance to live on.  I got a scholarship, but it was not full ride.  I went to school and I worked, a lot.”

“One day I met a man, he was so cute, I had never had a boyfriend.  I was twenty-two and scared out of my mind.  He was so sweet and said all of the right things.  The same night he took my virginity and a few weeks later, I got pregnant with Annabelle.  We had not known each other very long, but once I found out I was pregnant, he insisted that we get married.  I did not have any family and his lived out of state,” I said not realizing how red my face must have been.  I could tell she was already feeling sorry for me.

“He was a rich lawyer who had all the right connections in Boston.  He had a small shotgun wedding planned within two weeks; I was married, pregnant and scared.  When I was twenty-three, I gave birth to Belle.  Max had been changing, he starting drinking more and more, he would win a case and then go out to celebrate.  That was all he did, he was a ruthless defense attorney and good at his job, and boy was he.  The drinking got worse and worse and he started to get…” I trailed off almost as if I was going back in time.  Talking about this made cringe, I had not even realized that Gloria had come back into the room. “Oh Grace, sweetie, what did he do?” Gloria said.

“He started to hit me, a lot, it hurt worse every time.  He always did it in spots where no one would ever see, he kept me under close watch anyways so no one would ever see me to begin with.  I was not allowed to work, much less leave the house unless it was to go the grocery store or to take Belle for a checkup at the doctor.” Talking about this brought back so much pain, pain I wanted to bury deep down where no one could ever find it. I worked hard to bury it and talking about all of this aloud made me want to break down.

“I got good at hiding my life, no one knew.  Eventually I came out of my misery coma and started to collect things here and there.  I would take a shirt of mine and put it in a suitcase that I had hidden in the house; I would take a toy of Belle’s and put it away too.  He was crazy as hell; he knew when things were missing.  I did this over the course of about a year, he never noticed, thank God,” I said quietly.

I looked over at both of my friends and they were both sobbing.  “Grace this is horrible, why did you feel you had to hide it,” Maggie said.

“Because Maggie, it is not every day that this happens.  Trust me; there is more to the story.  Anyways, one day I had gotten enough money and courage saved up to run, I had it all planned out, I knew how to get away from him.  I knew he would look for me, but I would be long gone.” 

“However, that day, when I left, he must have known something was up because he came home early, he caught me right as I was leaving and I had Belle by the hand.  I will spare you the details on the rest, but he had me pinned to the ground and I almost lost consciousness a few times.  When I came to, I saw something sharp out of the corner of my eye.  It was a piece of glass from the picture that broke in our struggle.  I was reasoning with him, I knew that even though he wanted to hurt me, it was a dominant kind of thing.  He loved me in his own way and wanted to control me, so if I played along, I could get free.  I played on his emotions and then I stabbed him,” I said. Maggie’s eyes grew large.

“OMG!” cried Maggie.  “See I told you, you people would not listen to me.  I am completely and utterly screwed up,” I said.

“That’s where you’re wrong Grace,” Gloria said.  “You are so many special things.  I knew it the moment you walked into my store, I saw right away, you are such an incredibly brave girl to have done what you did to protect you and your child.”

It sure did not feel that way sometimes.  “I know that he is alive.  I did not stab him anywhere that would kill him, but here is the problem, I know Max and as I said, he is ruthless.  He will find me one day, I don’t think I can stay in one place too long,” I said with tears running down my face.

“Grace for God sakes, you cannot run yourself and this poor baby all over the United States from someone like him.  You have to ask for help, we can help you,” Maggie said.

“What don’t you two understand?  He is the law!  He knows everyone and he cannot be stopped,” I said shouting. I could scream right now.

“Grace, Oliver can protect you.  He saw more than his fair share of corrupt people in the line of the law when he was in New York.  Trust me, he can and he will protect you and Belle,” she said.  I wanted nothing more than to have him do that, the whole time I was reliving my horror story to them, I was thinking about Oli, I did love him.  Why couldn’t I just accept his love and stop running?  Oh, wait, maybe because I did not want him to get hurt.

“Maggie, I do love your brother!  I have not wanted to admit it, but I do, I am so scared.  I know what Max is capable of and he will kill whoever gets in his way, I can promise you that,” I said.

“Well lucky for you I am packing some serious heat most days,” Gloria said smiling.  Oh geez, why didn’t that surprise me at all?  She was a tough old broad.  Something that I did not want to admit was that I was tough too.  I guess years of emotional and physical abuse made me scared and self-conscious.  Nevertheless, I was never a scared little girl, and it was time to stop running, Maggie was right. They had all been right.

“I cannot thank both of you enough for coming here tonight.  I really needed to have someone break me out of my scared shitless little bubble.  I want to stay because we have been so happy here, Oliver makes us happy,” I said looking over to Maggie.

“Well then what are you freaking waiting for?  Go to him already,” Maggie said. “What now?  Maggie it is after midnight, and he is probably asleep,” I said rolling my eyes at her.

“Are you high woman?  He is a mess; you did not see him earlier.  He would probably be doing anything but sleeping, here, I will make it easy for you,”  She pulled out her phone and pressed a few buttons on it, I was confused, but when she was done, she looked up, smiled at me, and said, “Done.”  What does that mean?  “Ok Maggie, I give up, what did you do?” I said confused.

She smiled again.  Walked over and hugged me tightly.  She whispered in my ear and said, “I promise you it will all be ok, you are my best friend and I could not have asked for a better person for my brother, I love you Grace,” she said 

Her truth made me cry, she was my best friend too, Gloria hugged and kissed me on the cheek and then they were out the door.