Say Forever (20 page)

Though I'm terrified what will happen to my mom after publically assaulting these snakes in the grass, some part of me wants to pump my fist in the air and say, "Kick their asses!"

Instead, I decide on the sensible course of action—pull Mom away before security apprehends her, and then run like hell.

"Mom!" I raise my voice to get her attention. Imagine how awkward I feel when both my birth mother and adoptive mother turn to me. I purposely look away from The Cobra, after catching the venomous look in her eyes. I think I hear hissing coming from the water, and I imagine she's trying to turn us to stone right now.

The crowd is silent. Funny how nobody offers to help Nora and The Cobra out of the fountain.

My mom pulls back her shoulders, turns up her chin and walks up to me. Despite her show of courage, I note the haunted look in her eyes. It's enough to break my heart. I open my arms, and she buries her face against my neck, sniffling against my ear.

"I'm sorry, baby."

My throat tightens with emotion. "Don't be. I love you, Mom."

"And I love you," she says as she pulls back and flashes a radiant smile despite the sheen of tears in her eyes.

"You assaulted me!" An ear-piercing shriek resonates behind me. "I'm filing a police report, and you'll be hearing from my lawyer!"

I look over my mom's shoulder at The Cobra still standing in the center of the fountain. Her bony knees are shaking, and her short skirt clings to her wrinkled thighs. Her giant cone of hair plasters her head in saggy strands, exposing bald patches on her scalp, and her heavy makeup runs down her face in globs.

I stand shoulder-to-shoulder with my mom and entwine her fingers with mine, distressed to feel how badly her hand shakes. I narrow my gaze at the monster who raised me. "You sue my mom and I'll press charges against you."

She places both hands on her hips. "For what?" she slurs as water spews from her lips. "I was the one pushed into the water."

I take a deep breath and then slowly exhale as I try not to make eye contact with anyone, despite the multitudes of curious stares. "For being an accessory to child rape."

The Cobra gasps and stumbles backward. Nora, who's standing beside her, doesn't even try to break her fall as my adoptive mother hits her head on a spitting cherub.

My mom cries as her hand flies to her throat. "You don't have to do this, Christina," I hear her rasp.

The Cobra is groaning and rubbing her head. Nora finally lends a hand and helps her out of the fountain. I know I need to strike again, when my opponent is still down. The only problem is my sordid past will be known to everyone. But my adoptive mother needs to be held accountable for what she has done.

I turn up my chin and steel my resolve. "You knew my dad was raping me and you didn't even call the cops."

The Cobra looks like a wet rat, dripping all over the tile floor. The veins in her skinny neck stand out as her fingers curl like claws by her sides. "How dare you bring that kind of shame upon our family!"

"It's
your
shame, not mine." I lift my mom's hand, which is still clasping mine, and proudly show her. "Besides, you're
not
my family."

"I gave you my baby!" my mom shrieks, throwing me momentarily off guard as I stumble back, only to be pulled upright by her firm grip. "You promised me you'd love her, and you and your husband abused her! You heartless, cold bitch!" The crowd gasps and murmurs. A few of the women are hissing and the men are swearing. Whatever is happening, it's working.

"That's right." Mom pounds the air with her fist. "I have half a mind to bust open all that collagen in your face. I'll make those fat, ugly lips looked like popped airbags!" Mom shakes her fist at The Cobra and at Nora. "And I'll save one for your double-crossing friend, too."

"No, Mom." I tug on her hand, pulling her toward the exit. "Let her wallow in her shame."

The spectators part like the Red Sea when we walk out the door.

Even though my dad is six feet under, I hope now that I've exposed him to all his friends at the club he once held so dear, his corpse will be rolling in its grave for the rest of his miserable eternity.

Chapter Seventeen

Christina

I feel bad I didn't get to say goodbye to Tyler, but considering my mom and I were busy fleeing security guards, I didn't have much choice. I send a message to Mrs. James apologizing for skipping out on lunch. She writes back that she understands. She also tells me she's overheard several prominent club members calling for The Cobra's immediate expulsion from the club.

I don't know what tastes sweeter, the revenge my mom and I got on those two snakes or the warm chocolate fudgy perfection that practically sends my taste buds into orgasmic convulsions. Though my mom was looking forward to her fish cakes, I don't think she's terribly upset, as she moans with each bite of "The World's Best Brownie." Yeah, we're at my favorite café again. I'm honestly starting to think I've got a brownie addiction, but after the week I've had, I'd say I earned it.

My mom has earned it, too, after her performance at the country club. Have I mentioned lately she's my hero? If I were to rate her on the mom scale, I'd say she achieved rock star status today.

"Mrs. James seemed pleasant enough."

I look at her. Gone is the vicious mamma bear defending her cub. She smiles sweetly and dabs the corners of her mouth with her paper napkin.

"Yes," I say as I sip coffee. Yeah, it's my second cup, but it's decaf, so I don't think it counts. "But something about her is off. I think she's got a drinking problem."

She flashes a knowing grin. "That was a rather big Long Island Iced Tea for so early in the afternoon."

My mouth falls open. "Oh, is that what that was?" Geez. It's barely past noon, and she's already hitting the sauce. She also mentioned something about drinking wine at night. I wonder if her drinking is a habitual thing. That would mean little Ty has traded one addict parent for another. Now I understand why Tyler wasn't disciplined when he was throwing fries. She was probably too drunk to care. This is so not good.

"What's the matter?" I look over at Mom, who's frowning at me mid-bite, a chunk of brownie suspended on the faux silver fork in front of her lips.

I heave a sigh. "She told me Karri is letting her adopt Ty."

Mom sets the fork down as her frown deepens. "Why would Karri give up that beautiful baby?"

"They're probably paying her a lot of money. Mrs. James seems to love him, but I worry about the drinking. The Cobra was a heavy drinker." I think back to how my adoptive mom was drunk most of my childhood. As I got older, I realized her drinking wasn't just a way to tune out of her own life, but a way to tune out of mine. When she wasn't angry with me over something stupid, she was indifferent to my needs... painfully indifferent. "I don't want Tyler to be treated the way I was."

Mom folds her hands in front of her. She leans forward, her expression darkening. "No amount of money is more important than your child's happiness."

Though I agree with her, I also know Karri's addiction to meth is probably worse than Mrs. James's drinking problem. Plus, she'll never be able to provide for him like the James family. "Mom, I think Ty would be less happy with Karri raising him."

"Will he?" Her bottom lip trembles, and that haunted expression in her eyes is enough to turn my skin cold. "She's going to have regrets. Twenty years from now, she will. Trust me. I know exactly what I'm talking about. You
need
to talk to your friend."

I look away from her penetrating gaze. "She's not my friend."

"Do you still care about that baby?" Her tone is dripping with guilt so thick it rivals the gooey fudge on my brownie.

"Of course." I know she's right, but after the way Karri betrayed me and her family, I don't know if I can forgive her. I certainly don't want to have a heart-to-heart with her.

Those dark clouds in my mom's eyes turn thunderous. "He should be given the chance to know his birth mother. It's something I tried to negotiate in the adoption contract, but Vivian and your father refused."

"Why am I not surprised?" I ask wryly. My poor mom must have been terrified, pregnant at seventeen with no one to take care of her. I'm sure it was easy for my dad and The Cobra to manipulate her into any contract they wanted.

Mom shoots me a pointed look. "And how does that make you feel?"

"Angry." My brain feels like it's filling up with steam as I clench my fork so tight, the plastic gives way beneath my grip and breaks with an audible snap.

"How do you think Ty will feel twenty years from now? I know you don't like Karri, but you need to talk to her."

She pries the fork from my hand, and something about the gentleness in her smile reminds me of the rainbow and songbirds that come out after a storm. I'm not sure how or where she perfected her calming aura, but I hope I'm half as effective when I'm a mother.

I nod, letting out a slow exhale. "I will."

In an instant, the clouds reappear in her eyes as she drops the fork and squeezes my hand tight. "I wish I'd kept you. I really do."

"Don't do this again, Mom. Please," I say in the sternest voice I can manage.

She presses her lips together before wiping her eyes with a napkin. "I want you to promise me something."

"What?"

"Love your child with all your heart," she says through a sob.

Dear God. She could have sliced my chest open with a meat cleaver and it would have had the same effect. If she only knew how much I've been resenting this baby these past few days. Despite the knot in my gut which spirals up my torso and snakes a noose around my throat, I barely manage to clear my throat. "I promise."

***

I drop my mom off at her car in the bridal store parking lot, and then I cry my eyes out during most of the hour long drive to Tio's ranch as I think about how selfish I've been about this baby, resenting it for all the problems Andrés and I have had lately. None of this is my baby's fault. None of it. I'm the one who was so wrapped up in my life, I forgot to take my birth control pills. If anyone is to blame, it would be me.

But whose fault it is doesn't even matter. Andrés and I are going to be parents soon. Life is about to change in a big way for me. Maybe I won't be able to work as many hours as I'd hoped, but what matters first and foremost is that my baby will grow up in a happy, loving home.

I make a solemn vow to do whatever it takes to make sure my child feels loved and secure, unlike the way I felt growing up. I sniffle loudly and wipe my eyes. I will love my baby. I will.

And I will love my husband, too. After this weekend, I will start a hunt for a new therapist. I know Andrés can't always get appointments with the VA, and he deserves the very best attention. And if the stress from our baby is causing Andrés to have these bad dreams, I will do whatever it takes to make Andrés's transition easier. But I will never, ever again blame or resent my innocent child because he or she came at the wrong time. Maybe the timing wasn't right, but this child was conceived out of love. And just as I love the father of my child, I will love my child, too. Forever.

I swear when I pull into the gravel driveway and spy Marie's little BMW parked beside Tia's SUV. I grip my steering wheel, trying to channel all my pent up frustration into that poor, defenseless shiny leather. I straighten my shoulders and clench my jaw as I steel my resolve. I need to talk to Tia, but I guess I've got a few choice words for Marie, too. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.

I'm not shocked to see Marie open the door, leaning against the doorframe with her attitude locked and loaded. "What do you want?" she asks me in that bitchy tone of hers.

I march past her and into the kitchen. Tia's already elbow deep in tamales, probably preparing for the Cruz New Year's party. When she looks up, there's no mistaking the shock in her eyes. I hear the door slam, followed by Marie barreling down the hall toward us. I decide to make my move before Marie comes in and infects us all with her bitch virus.

I walk around the granite countertop and don't give Tia the chance to push me away as I wrap her in a hug. Tia holds her hands up as if I'm pointing a gun at her, and that's when I see her her hands are coated in yellow powder. I pull back and dust flour off my pants. There's banging behind us, and I steal a glance over my shoulder to see Marie violently scrubbing a pot in the sink.

I do my best to not roll my eyes as I look at Tia. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry your feelings were hurt over this wedding. That was never my intention. But it was also never my intention to let anyone take over my wedding. I let my mom make a lot of decisions for me about the venue and the food. Honestly, I wanted the Cruz family to cater the wedding." I sweep a hand toward the uncooked tamales sitting in a shallow pan. "I love everything Andrés's family cooks." I flash a weary smile. "You know that." I think about mentioning that we might need to use the ranch for the ceremony, but I don't want to grovel. "All I wanted was a simple wedding with tamales and one bridesmaid." I nod toward Marie as she slams an empty pan in the drying rack. "Marie didn't want to be my bridesmaid, anyway."

Tia grabs a towel off the counter and wipes her hands. She looks at Marie with big, sad eyes and shakes her head. "Yes, she did."

Marie actually has the nerve to heave a sigh, acting as if I've just broken her heart. Really?

Anger as thick and toxic as black smoke infuses my skull. I really want to grab those pots and pans and smash them over Marie's head. I think back to those retro movies of Godzilla I watched when I was a kid, and I finally understand how he felt when he smashed up Tokyo. He must have had an annoying family member whose sole purpose was to make his life a living hell.

"Tia, before you asked Marie to be my bridesmaid, she cornered me in my bedroom and told me I was marrying Andrés for his money."

Tia's hand flies to her chest. "Marie!"

I tilt my chin and glare at Marie, who has the nerve to look directly at me with a scowl. "I fell in love with Andrés before I knew he was going to inherit. I am not marrying him for his money. I am marrying him because I love him beyond words. I guess I'm selfish, because I'm not about to lose him because you don't approve."