Say You'll Stay (24 page)

Each second that I’m in his clutch I don’t think. My mind floats on a cloud as he holds me secure. I’m safe and there’s no pain. He robs me of the thoughts that have haunted me and replaces them with the sun. All I feel is warmth. All I see is light. All I feel is joy.

He breaks the kiss and we both struggle for breath. “Holy shit,” he pants.

“Yeah.” I try to slow my heart. “Holy shit.”

“Pres,” he says with tenderness. I look up and his thumb brushes against my lip. “Are you—” He stops before starting again. “Was that okay?”

Another part of my heart becomes Zach’s. “Yeah.” I smile up at him. “That was okay.”

There are no guarantees that this will work, but I don’t want to live the rest of my life wondering. And if we still can kiss like that . . .

“Good.”

“Zach?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s a lot of things that we need to talk about. I’ve only been a widow for a small period of time. The boys aren’t ready to see me with another man,” I explain. I have to do what’s right for them. “I’m not saying we have to hide, but while we’re figuring things out, I don’t want to rub anything in their faces.”

He nods. “I’ll let you lead the pace on this, but I’m going to be around a lot. I’ve spent half my life without you, and I’m not letting more time get away from us.”

“Okay,” I acquiesce. “I can handle time around you, I guess.”

His eyes shift from hard to soft. “You guess, huh?”

“It’ll be painful, but I’ll suffer.”

Zach’s hand grips the back of my neck, threading his fingers in my hair. “Suffer?”

The pace of my pulse accelerates. My bones liquefy as he tugs gently, causing my scalp to tingle.

Slowly his mouth closes in, but he lands against the top of my neck. The warmth of his breath mixed with the cold trail from his tongue causes my stomach to clench.

“I don’t think you know suffering with me.” His low voice is seductive. “I was a boy then. I can promise you that I’ve grown a lot.”

“Mmmm,” I moan as he nips at the the bottom of my ear.

“There won’t be suffering. Just a lot of pleasure.”

Oh. My. God.

“Promises, promises, Zachary.”

“Oh, darlin’.” He pulls my head back, forcing me to look into his denim blue eyes. “I promise that and a whole lot more.”

Slow is going to be really difficult when he’s saying things like this.

I may cave a hell of a lot sooner than I ever thought. Because if I couldn’t resist a fumbling teenage Zach, I’m sure as hell not going to be able to keep away from the confident, sinful, and hot as hell man before me.

Zachary

H
OW THE HELL DID I
get so lucky? What did I do to deserve this chance? Nothing. Not a goddamn thing. I never thought I’d see her again. It seemed the world had decided that long ago, yet I’m holding her in my arms.

I kiss her lips once more. Since I’m waiting for her to realize she shouldn’t do this, I to take every chance she gives me to touch her.

“Let’s head back.” I stare into her green eyes and see the fear. “Pres?”

She looks away and twists her bracelet, “I just don’t know where or
how
we’re going to sleep.”

I want to laugh at how damn cute she is. She’s got nothing to worry about. Other than me sporting wood all night at the thought of her so close, I won’t push anything. I promised her time, despite the fact that Presley has always been my demise. She’s the one thing in this world I’ve always known was right.

“Relax,” I say, trying to calm her nerves. “You’ll get the tent and we’ll all be out by the fire.” I have no idea if that is Wyatt’s plan, but that’s what’s happening. There’s no way she’s going in that tent with Vance or my brother, who can’t seem to keep his hands to himself.

She lets out a huge sigh. “Okay. Sorry, I’m being ridiculous.”

“Come on.” I begrudgingly let go of her. We make our way to where the guys are, and I try to figure out a plan.

There may be a lot of good between Pres and me, but there’s a whole shit ton of crap between us too. I need to be really smart with how I proceed. I can’t spook her, and I can’t let her think I’m not interested. Because that’s ridiculous. But it’s only been a week since Felicia moved out. Just like my worries about whether she can love again after her husband, she’s probably worried about the same thing.

“You all right?” she asks.

Her green eyes glimmer in the moonlight. I step closer because I need to kiss her. I have to feel her mouth on mine, reminding me that she’s fucking here. She’s here and not some crazy dream I’ve been imagining. I keep moving until there’s no distance between us. When her breath hitches, I step back. “Shit.” I close my eyes and look away.

“Hey.” Her hand presses against my arm. “What’s wrong?”

I don’t want to admit this crap to her. She doesn’t need to know how the inkling that she’s willing to give us a chance, makes me this happy. Because if there’s any hope for us left in her heart, I’m going to find it and hold on for dear life. Presley is mine. Always has been. Always will be. I’ll make damn sure of that.

“I was going to kiss you,” I confess. It’s true, and it’s the only part of my thoughts I’m willing to part with.

“Why did you stop?”

“Do you want me to kiss you?”

This girl. I can’t figure her out, which was never an issue. I used to be able to see into her mind no matter how hard she fought against it.

She looks away. “I don’t know . . . what are we doing?”

“Let’s call it dating.”

“Dating?”

“Yeah, that thing where the guy tries to get the girl to see how perfect he is—which you already know partially. This is like dating with knowing we already match.”

She shakes her head with a smile. “You know we’re different people now, Zach.”

“Yes. It’s why I stopped myself.” Even though I wanted to claim her again, I want to be the last man that has a part of her.

It’s barbaric, I can comprehend this. But the idea of anyone else’s hands on her body makes me want to beat the shit out of something.

Presley walks forward and places her hand on my cheek. I freeze, allowing her to set the pace. It takes every ounce of restraint I have not to pull her into my arms. Years I’ve waited for this. I haven’t been the same since she walked out of my life, or I guess, since I walked out of hers.

“Sometimes when I look at you, I’m a kid again. It’s like our first kiss or the first time I ever knew what it was like to be held by you. I was so sure that we’d always be together.” Presley’s eyes close, and I tug her toward me. Her head rests on my chest and my heart aches. I did this to her. “I don’t want it to feel this good, Zach.”

“What do you mean?”

Her head lifts and she stares into my eyes. “It scares me how easy it is to be with you. How it feels like the world is righted again. Like this was how it was supposed to be, yet that makes no sense. Considering how things fell apart, it shouldn’t be this . . . effortless.”

She’s right on a few things, but I don’t think this is effortless. This is painstakingly difficult. My head knows we’re not the same kids, but my heart doesn’t. It only knows that it’s beating again. “This isn’t easy, darlin’. This is hard as all hell. I’m conflicted too, but right now, holding you, is what I want. I’m not trying to jump ten steps ahead. I’m trying to live in the moment.”

I look in her big beautiful eyes and get lost. I can’t remember the last time I felt this calm. She’s the air I breathe, and I hope to God she doesn’t make me suffocate again.

“Okay. Live in the moment.”

I snort. “I don’t know if you’ve ever been able to not think ten steps ahead.”

She smiles and nods. “I know. But I’m going to try.”

She’s always had her plans. Her goals were mapped out since we were kids. It was annoying as hell, but she needed that stability. My brothers and I did everything we could to make her loosen up. And when she did . . . it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Presley without inhibitions was intoxicating.

Her hands hold my head to hers. I battle my wants and try to remember that she’s still figuring out what she’s feeling. I ball my fists behind her back so I don’t take control, and then I feel her breath on my lips. “In the moment,” she whispers before her mouth mashes against mine.

I hold her back, pressing her against me. Her lips move with mine, and it’s fucking surreal. She’s been the one thing that got away, but I’m holding her now. There’s no chance I’m going to let this end. I’ll give her anything she wants if it means I have a chance at redemption.

For years I’ve told myself I’m better off. I’ve lied to everyone, saying that Presley and I were too young and didn’t love each other enough. That was never the truth for me. I loved her too much. I loved her enough for the both of us, but I never showed her—even though I thought I did.

She shifts back.

“We’re going to make this work,” I state. There’s no room for discussion.

“I sure hope so, Cowboy.”

I lean back with a huge grin. She used to call me that when she was in the mood. “Cowboy, huh?”

“Well, that’s what you are now, isn’t it?”

I can see that she remembers. Her playful tone and smirk tells me all I need to know. There are some things that no matter how hard we try to forget—still live inside of our hearts.

“You’re going to test me?”

I watch her come to life before me. The first time I saw her she was sad, unable to really smile. Bit by bit, she’s becoming the girl I knew. It feels that way for me too. She’s made me feel things I didn’t realize I was missing from my life. Just being around her makes me feel whole again. It’s crazy how much this girl lives inside of me.

“I think everything in our life is a test. I’m not sure if we’ll pass, but I can’t pretend that I don’t feel things for you.”

“You two do realize we can hear you, right?” Wyatt laughs from the site. We must be closer than I thought.

Presley ducks her head into my chest. “Oh, God.”

“You can leave,” I reply.

“Nah!” he yells back.

I run my arms up and down her back. “Let’s go back before they act like idiots.”

“Too late,” she says.

“True.”

We head over and the guys, of course, say a few things because they’re incapable of being mature. Wyatt is the worst, but when he sees Presley is uncomfortable, he stops. I’ll never forget the day he told me he was in love with her. I wasn’t sure what the hell to do.

He’s my brother.

She’s my everything.

I had just lost her, and he came out to California. We were having a few beers, and he blurted it out. He told me how he would never do anything, but that he loved her, and I was a fucking moron.

He was right. I was stupid, but I’m not going to be that dumb ever again. Presley won’t be able to get rid of me so easily.

Presley

“I
HAD A GOOD TIME.”
I look at Zach, who’s standing on the bottom step.

I feel ridiculous, but I can’t stop grinning. Last night was everything. He was sweet and a complete gentleman. I didn’t think about the ridiculous amount of debt I’m trying to pay off or the fact that I’m thirty-five living at home with my parents. I was Presley. A woman who has been through hell, but is finding her legs again. I didn’t curl up and die along with Todd. There’s something to be said for that, and I deserve to be happy again.

“I’m glad I went.”

“Me too.” I smile.

“I’ll come by tomorrow to check on the boys’ horses.”

“Be sure to stop by the office.” I bite my bottom lip. I’m a damn schoolgirl all over again.

Zach climbs the steps slowly. “I will. You can bet on it.”

I take a step back, not because I don’t want to be close to him, but because of how much I do. The boys could be anywhere, and I want to keep this between Zach and me. If people realize we’re together, it’ll be the talk of the town. I’ve had enough of that to last me a lifetime.

He keeps advancing, and I retreat. “I’ll see you then.” I walk backward and keep going until I bump into the screen door. “Bye, Zach.”

The deep sound of his laugh fills my heart. “Bye, Presley.”

Once I’m on the other side of the screen, I wave again, and he winks. I close the door and press my back against it. This is going to be impossible. Feelings that were six feet under have come back to life. I remember how special he makes me feel. When you’re looked at like you’re the only person who matters—it’s exhilarating.