Scars of the Future (11 page)

“I watched you the whole time I was home,” he continued quietly. “And you were just this amazing woman who cared so much for her friends. It physically hurt not to touch you, and before I left I knew I was in love with you. Thanksgiving day, when I found you on Mom’s patio with tears falling down your cheeks, you were so beautiful. When we kissed… I felt complete for the first time in so long.”

I closed my eyes and let the memories assault me. Our first kiss had been amazing and sad all at once. It seemed Matt was always the first one to comfort me over my mom, and I always let my feelings for him show during those moments.

“For me,” I spoke in a whisper as Matt pulled the car into the parking lot of Bay Springs Assisted Living Center. “It was a night out on the patio, too. It was that night shortly after my dad died when you found me out there. You’d always been the stereotypical big brother until that moment. I fell in love with you then.”

Matt turned off the car and looked over at me as a slow smile stretched across his face. “You’re in love with me.”

I rolled my eyes at him before letting my lips curl up into a small grin. “Of course, I am. Everyone knows it, especially you. Let’s go inside.”

Chapter Eleven

“This can be hard for some people. Just prepare yourself, all right?” I got out and met him around the front of the car. He grabbed my hand in his and squeezed.

“I’ll be okay.”

We walked through the doors of the nice, but sterile, lobby and I smiled at the receptionist, Judy.

“Hi there, Amanda,” she said warmly, handing me a badge with my picture on it. “How are you?”

“I’m good, Judy, how are you?”

She glanced to Matt and back to me. “I’m not as good as you, but I’m well, thanks. Who’s this young man?”

I gestured to Matt and signed him in on the sheet of paper in front of us.

“This is my… Matt.” I fumbled with the words for a minute, but I didn’t miss the amusement on Matt’s face. “He’s going to visit my mom with me.”

Judy nodded and held up a numbered badge, handing it to Matt. “Just put this on here, sweetheart, and return it when you’re done.”

We clipped our badges to our shirts, and Judy smiled before buzzing us into the locked doors on our right. “Have fun.”

As we walked through the doors Matt gave me a confused look. “They keep the doors locked?”

I nodded and waved at another employee as we passed. “For the dementia side they do. They do it for their protection. Some residents also have to be locked in their rooms at night just to be sure they don’t wander. It’s all legal and for their safety, I promise.” I smiled at him as we continued walking down the long hall.

We reached the common room and I spotted my mom in a couch watching
Wheel of Fortune
with another resident. The happiness on her face tugged at my heart, and I knew moving her here was the best thing for her.

I touched her shoulder and when she turned to look at me, I held my breath.

Her face lit up and she covered my hand with her own. “Amanda.”

“Hi Mama.” I leaned down and gave her a hug. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Oh, you’re fine, baby.” She scrutinized my face for a moment, as if trying to decide if any time had been lost since I had last come. Her hands dropped to my stomach. “You’re getting so big. How are you feeling?”

I sat in the spot next to her and let out an exaggerated sigh. “Still sick, still tired, but otherwise I’m okay.”

Mom laughed and clenched my hand tight. “Like I told you, I was sick the entire time I was pregnant with you.  I bet it’s a girl.”

I groaned. “I don’t want to be sick the entire time.” I turned back and gestured Matt over. “Mama, you remember Matt Thomas, right?”

A look of surprise flitted to Mom’s face as he appeared in front of her, and she stood to embrace Matt. “Of course. Hi sweetheart.”

Matt returned her hug with a tight one of his own. When they parted, the smiles on both of their faces made me want to cry.

Matt was so good with my mom, especially when she was overwhelmed at family gatherings. Last Christmas she had been at her worst lucidity-wise, and somehow Matt’s presence had always been able to comfort her. I had found out that he had done a ton of research on Alzheimer’s for her sake, and it has made me love him even more.

“Mrs. Franklin, you are just as beautiful as ever.” Matt grabbed a chair and pulled it up so he was facing us. My mom sat back down and she smiled at him.

“Always such a charmer. It’s good to see you, but please call me Karen.” Her eyes alternated between the two of us and she inhaled a small breath when it clicked. “Is he…?”

I nodded. “He’s the daddy.”

“Oh Amanda, that’s wonderful. I shouldn’t be surprised though. Our two families were always so close.” She smiled at Matt. “I bet your mother is thrilled.”

I bit my lip and shook my head at Mom. “You two are the only people who’ve been told, Mama. I told him after Maddie’s wedding on Saturday.”

The dinner music played over the intercom and my mom stood slowly. “Let’s go eat.  I want to talk about this baby some more. I also want to hear all about the wedding.”

We picked a table in the dining room and talked with my mom over delicious spaghetti. She asked Matt so many questions, and I knew the more he talked the more under his spell she fell. Maddie had spent a ton of time at our house when we were younger, and Matt had joined her on many occasions. He had spent more time with my father, not growing up with one of his own, but Mom had never missed a chance to mother him. By the time dinner was over the two of them had covered his life since high school.

Matt had left the table to clear our plates when Mom turned to me, a smile on her lips. “You love him.”

I nodded. “I do, Mama.”

“But are you
in love
with him, Amanda?”

I reached over and took her hand in mine. “I have been for a really long time.”

“I knew you always had a crush on him, but I didn’t know it extended beyond that.”

Matt started to walk back to the table and I grinned at her. “Another story for another time, I promise.”

Matt sat back down and my mother excused herself to the restroom, leaving the two of us at the table. I leaned my head on to Matt’s shoulder and sighed. “Thanks for coming with me.”

“No thanks needed. I should be the one thanking you for bringing me.”

We sat in silence for a few minutes and when my mom didn’t return, I went to search her out. I found her in a hallway off of the main room. She was standing in front of a bulletin board and at first I thought she was reading it.

“What are you reading, Mom?” I asked, moving forward and placing my hand on her shoulder.

She didn’t respond but instead took a step forward, shaking her head as she turned to face me.

My heart dropped and I let my hand fall to my side. “Mama. It’s me.”

She shook her head violently and continued to back away from me while looking confused and scared. I tried to swallow around the lump in my throat but the tears welled up in my eyes.

Matt’s arm wrapped around my waist and my mom stared up at him.

“Mrs. Franklin, everything is okay.” His tone was soothing and my mom’s confusion didn’t ebb, but I saw that her fear did. Matt murmured comforting words to her for several minutes, and I watched as my mom started to visibly relax. Suddenly, it was like a light bulb had been turned back on, and my mom turned her attention from Matt to me.

She stared for a long moment and a sigh escaped her lips. “I’m so sorry, Panda.”

I shook my head, wiping the tears that had fallen. “It’s okay, Mama.”

“No, it’s not,” my mom replied as pulled me into a firm embrace.

We didn’t speak the whole way back to my house, and I just stared out at the passing city trying to hold back my tears. When we pulled in front of the house, Matt shut off the car and turned to me.

“Does that happen often?”

I bit my lip. “Everything was so much better for a few months, but it’s getting worse again. It’s happening about every third visit now. Sometimes she snaps back and other times I leave with her not knowing who I am. She’s retaining information really well when she’s lucid, but otherwise…”

Matt reached over for my hand and squeezed it tight. “You’re such a caring daughter, sweets. She absolutely adores you, too.”

“It’s progressing so fast though. I don’t know if she’ll still have lucid days by the time the baby comes.”

“You need to stay positive. That’s the most important part.” He hesitated for a moment. “Can I come in?”

I gazed up and him and nodded. “Yeah, of course.”

I led him back into the house and grabbed him a soda as I heated up some water for tea. We sat on the couch in silence until finally Matt looked over at me, giving me a lopsided grin.

“So, I love you and you love me. Are we going to do anything about it?”

I raised my eyebrows and smiled back. “And what do you propose we do, Matthew?”

He placed his drink on the coffee table and pulled my tea out of my hands before doing the same with it. His body moved towards mine until I was flat on my back on the tiny couch, him hovering over me.

“First,” he said, his voice low and husky. “I propose that I make love to you right here, right now.” A slight shiver ran up my spine and my eyes closed for second.

Matt’s hot breath left a trail as he moved along my neck and nipped at my ear gently “We’ll figure out the rest later.”

His mouth brushed against mine and I immediately responded, wrapping my arms around his neck. When our tongues met, I let out a tiny moan as I savored the taste of him. His hands dipped under my shirt and made their way up my side slowly, bringing my tank top up with them before pulling it over my head. His lips skimmed back down my neck until they were kissing the tops of my breasts lightly. Matt pulled my bra down and moved his lips to my tender nipple. A soft gasp escaped my lips and arched my body into his.

“Every noise you make vibrates through my body and makes me feel like I could explode.” His voice was muffled by my skin. His fingers went behind my back and he unhooked my bra, pulling it off my arms and moving to my pants. His pace was unhurried as he undid my button and zipper before dragging the jeans slowly down my legs. Matt stood back to look at me in just my panties, and a smile crossed his face.

“This is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.” He slowly unbuttoned his shirt, dropping it to the ground before pulling his undershirt over his head and tossing it behind him. His fingers worked his pants next, and I just enjoyed the show.

After a moment he stood in front of me completely naked with a hungry glimmer in his eyes. I greedily admired his gorgeous body. His arms were thick and coiled with muscles. His chest was solid and perfectly sculpted. His stomach seemed endless with the beautifully cut abs. The entire view made me clench my thighs together in anticipation.

He leaned over and ran his fingers down my protruding belly gently until he hooked them into my panties and dragged them over my feet. He rest one of his knees on the couch so he was between my legs and he gave me a lazy smile. He slowly lifted both legs in the air to rest them on his shoulders as he pushed into me inch by inch. He pulled back almost completely before repeating the action several agonizing times. I stretched my arms above my head and matched his slow thrusts with my own.

His pace quickened and he held my eyes with his own, shaking his head slightly.

“Never been so perfect, Amanda. Never.” His voice came out as a strained whisper.

I slid my hands down my body until I met where we were joined, and my eyes fluttered shut as colors exploded behind them. I let out a loud cry of pleasure and I felt Matt’s hands tighten on my thighs.

When I reopened my eyes, Matt’s head was tilted backwards as a look of pleasure painted his face. I just stared at the stunning sight. After a moment he tipped his chin back down and a satisfied grin appeared on his lips. He let go of my thighs and ran his hands up my body until they met my stomach.

“You touching yourself was beautiful. I don’t think I’ll ever get that image out of my head.” Matt leaned forward and kissed my lips leisurely. 

I smiled up at him as our lips parted. “I feel so relaxed that I’m pretty sure I could sleep for days.”

Matt stood up and pulled me to my feet. “Well, let’s put you to bed then.”

“Since you’re already dressed for bed…” I ran my eyes down his delicious, naked body. “You should probably just stay.”

He let out a low laugh as I led him down the hallway to bedroom I grew up in. “You read my mind, sweets.”

I woke up next to a hard, warm chest and I was momentarily confused until I remembered the night before. I smiled against his bare skin until my stomach rumbled uneasily, and I pulled myself off of Matt to rush to the bathroom. After the spaghetti from the nursing home had finished making its reappearance, I stood and brushed my teeth quickly, glancing at my reflection in the mirror.

My dark red hair was a mess, but it made me smile. The purple circles under my eyes looked even more pronounced than they had a week ago and I sighed before turning back to the bedroom. I’d taken two steps when I felt a flutter in my stomach, causing me to freeze. I wasn’t a stranger to the different rumblings of my stomach over the past few months, but this was different. I stood frozen like a statue for a few moments with my hands on my stomach as the fluttering happened again and again.

Tears formed in my eyes and I rushed back to the bedroom and shook Matt gently.

“Matt.” I whispered. “Matt, wake up.”

His eyes snapped open and he sat up quickly. “What’s wrong?”

I shook my head from side to side and smiled at him. “I felt the baby move.”

Matt’s hand automatically reached out to rest on my stomach and a sleepy smile hit his lips.

“Where?”

I moved his hand to where I could feel the baby and after about five minutes of trying to feel, he let out a low laugh. “A few more weeks and I bet his kicks will be hard enough to where I can feel too. It must be an amazing feeling because the look on your face is gorgeous right now.” He leaned forward and gave me a sweet kiss.

“It’s so strange and wonderful all at once. There really is a baby inside of me.” I grinned at him.

Matt laughed again and pulled me down so that my head was back on his chest before covering us with a blanket.

“A baby we made. That is wonderful.”

“So tell me again what you want to do with the house,” Matt said the next morning as we sat at the kitchen table. Matt had insisted on getting muffins and juice for breakfast after running home and changing his clothes. I had initially protested, but my taste buds were insanely happy.

I pushed a piece of the blueberry muffin in my mouth, chewing thoughtfully before I sighed.

“So much. I want to repaint completely and pull up all of the carpet to start. Eventually, I’d like to re-tile the bathrooms and kitchen, but that’s not as urgent.”

Matt nodded and finished off his own muffin. “Which room is going to be the baby’s?”

“My old one. The one we slept in last night. It’s closest to the master and I think it will work the best. Then I want to keep the one next to it as a guest room, and the one in the very back I want to put the treadmill in.”

“Have you picked out paint colors or carpet?” Matt poured himself some more juice before refilling my glass.

“I have the sample books, but I haven’t decided yet. I’m thinking just a basic off-white for the walls and maybe beige carpet. Nothing extreme. Except the baby’s room- I definitely want some color in there.”

We finished eating and I was showing Matt the different areas I was talking about when he stopped at the linen closet door. His fingers brushed a pencil mark that said ‘Amanda 12-years-old’ in my dad’s handwriting.

“You are not painting over this.”

I shook my head and gave him a small smile. “No way. I’m hoping to add the baby to that closet.”

“Me too.” He turned with a grin and kissed my forehead. “We can pull the carpet as soon as you tell the family. I’m going to need the guys to help to move the furniture out. And don’t even say you can help,” he added as I opened my mouth. “Because I won’t let you.”

I rolled my eyes at him and placed my hands on my hips. “You know that I’ve made it halfway through this pregnancy without being babied, right?”

“Because you were alone. You’re not alone now, sweets. Let me baby you, okay?” Matt’s arms wrapped around me and he tightened them until I was flush against him. “Let me take care of you. That’s what I do, Amanda. I live to take care of people and taking care of the woman I love who is also carrying my child? I can’t imagine anything better.”