Scars of the Future (18 page)

Matt moved to my purse and dug around until he pulled it out. He plugged it into the outlet in the kitchen and looked back at me. “It should be good to go in a few hours. Stun and run- it’s not meant to keep them down.” He stared at me for a moment and suddenly I realized he wanted my acknowledgement. After I nodded, he walked back to the bedroom and I followed him curiously. I had never seen Matt so restless and I felt like he was moving at a thousand miles an hour.

He was getting into his small gun safe when I got back to the room and I watched as did something with one of them. His big hands manipulated the little weapon in a way I didn’t understand.

When Matt had moved into the house, he had asked me if I had a problem with guns. I had never been around them growing up but didn’t have a problem, per se. The only thing I’d worried about was when the baby came and Matt had reassured me he kept them all securely locked up between a big biometric safe in the closet and the small one under the nightstand.

“What are you doing?” I sat on the bed and watched him dutifully.

He glanced up at me before looking back at his weapon. “I keep them all unloaded, but I’m going to load one just in case. I’ll keep it locked up if you want me to, but I want it ready if I need it.”

I continued to stare and shook my head. “You know how to work those, right?” The question sounded stupid the minute it left my lips but it was too late to take it back.

Matt let out a small laugh. “Sweets, I was in the military for six years. That gun is basically a toy compared to what I’m used to.”

I frowned at the thought and nodded. “Sometimes it’s easy to forget you were in the army with real guns and such. You never mention it.”

He shook his head quickly, the smile dropping from his face. “You don’t want to know the crap I’ve seen Amanda. It would just give you unpleasant images in your head. Just know I can protect us if necessary. Maybe one day we should teach you how to fire one of these.”

I scrunched up my nose but didn’t reply. I really had no desire to learn how to fire a gun.

Matt continued to do whatever he was doing for a few more minutes before he locked the gun back up. He pushed the gun safe back under the nightstand and looked up at me. “Does that scare you?”

A smile spread across my face as I slowly moved my head from side to side. “It actually turns me on quite a bit.”

Matt sat on the edge of the bed and pulled me into his lap. “You are insatiable, Amanda, and I love it.”

I kissed his warm neck and smiled. “Between the hormones and you, I’m going crazy.”

We were thirty minutes late to dinner at his mom’s house, but no one questioned it as we walked inside.

We greeted everyone at the table, most everyone’s plates already full, and we sat in two spots that had been left empty for us.

We didn’t talk much but listened to the conversation around us. Maddie was telling a few stories about the kids in her class, and I could tell from the look on her face that she just loved it. I was sure Josh had heard all of the stories before, but he still hung on her every word like they were precious. When Maddie came up for air, I asked Josh how his job was doing. He grinned and shrugged.

“It’s about the same. I’m a bit higher up now, and so the hours are a lot better.”

“He’s one of the top guys in the office.” Maddie beamed at him.

Josh blushed minutely and shrugged again. “It’s not a big deal.”

“It sounds like it is, modest man,” I laughed. “Congratulations.”

He nodded and shoved another bite of food in his mouth. I glanced at Maddie who rolled her eyes and both of us burst out laughing.

Sydney frowned from down the table. “I hate missing jokes.”

“I can tell a joke,” Claire offered and I grinned at her.

“Tell us, Claire.”

“Okay. What do sharks eat for lunch?”

Everyone murmured that they didn’t know.

Claire started giggling before telling us the punch line and everyone laughed at her cuteness. She caught her breath long enough to puff out, “A peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich!” before bursting into a fit of giggles again.

The whole table roared with laughter and I looked at Sydney who was shaking her head and wiping tears from her eyes. She caught my eye and grinned. “Claire telling jokes is better than the actual joke.”

After dinner we all sat in the family room chatting and Linda was showing off some new painting Craig had bought her for her birthday.

Sydney sat next to me and rubbed my stomach as she spoke in a high pitched voice. “Hey Livvie. It’s your Auntie Sydney and I love you so much.” She looked back up at me and frowned. “I shouldn’t speak like that or else she’ll have no idea who I am when she comes out.”

She and I giggled as we sat on the couch together and she continued to repeat strange phrases to my stomach.

“Anything about Wagner?” Matt asked David.

David shook his head. “No, but they are all ears to the ground to find him. Rose is his sister and claims she didn’t realize he had her car. I don’t believe it for a second so I have someone sitting on her house. I also have it arranged for a patrol car to hit your block frequently.”

Matt nodded and shot David a look of gratitude. “Thanks. He was too close to her this morning and I don’t like it.”

Sydney grabbed me by the hand to pull me up. “Let’s let the boys talk shop and we can watch Claire play hopscotch with Sean.” She grinned at David as she pulled me out into the backyard. “Sean falling will be a lot more fun anyway.”

“Hey, I heard that,” Sean said, and we looked over to find him sitting on the concrete where he’d just fallen.

Sydney and I burst into laughter as Sean stood up and dusted himself off.

“I’m pretty sure she’s tripping me.” He shot a suspicious look to Claire and she stuck her tongue out at him.

Chapter Eighteen

“What a long day,” I said with a yawn as I finished getting ready for bed. I settled on my pillow and Matt pulled my shirt up to expose my stomach.

“Is she awake?” Matt asked, leaning in to kiss the side of it.

I sat still for a moment and gave a nod. “Not really active, but she’s moving.”

He ran his lips over almost every inch of my stomach and laughed when he felt her kick near his jaw once. “I will never get tired of feeling her.”

We just stayed in that same position for about five minutes as Matt told Olivia different random facts, and finally he pressed one last kiss to my skin.

“Goodnight, baby girl. Daddy loves you.” He pulled my shirt back down and reached up to give me a kiss. “I love you, sweets.”

“I love you, too, Matt.” I turned off my bedside lamp and cuddled up against him the best my stomach would allow. His fingers ran through my hair softly and I felt myself drift off.

I was jolted awake by the sound of the home alarm going off rapidly and I looked around in confusion. Matt was already on his feet, as if he’d been anticipating it, and pulling the gun safe out from under the nightstand.

Matt tugged me out of bed and gently pushed me into the corner, leveling me with a look quickly. “Stay here, Amanda. The alarm company is going to call my cell and you need to tell them to send police.” He disappeared from the room before I could protest.

True to what he said, his phone began to ring and I picked it up, looking at the clock to see it was barely after midnight.

“Mrs. Thomas this is Sonya from ADT calling because your home alarm has been activated…”

I cut her off. “It’s not a false alarm. We need you to send police, please. I think someone is in the house.”

“Yes ma’am. Police have been dispatched to your location.”

I ended the call and sat in the pitch black room. It was quiet in the house and I listened for any sounds besides the beeping of the alarm, but nothing came.

Sirens rang out from different directions, and a moment later I heard a huge bang as voices yelled in the living room for someone to get down. I stood slowly and crept into the living room where four officers were.

I let out a loud gasp. Matt was on his stomach with his arms behind his back as an officer leaned over him, placing handcuffs on his wrists.

“What are you doing?” I yelled, running towards Matt. An officer caught me by the wrist, pulling me back before I could make it to him.

“Do not jerk her around like that. Can’t you see she’s pregnant?” Matt had turned his face towards me and gave a seething look to the officer. The officer dropped my wrist quickly, as if it’d burned him.

“Why are you handcuffing my boyfriend?” The hysteria made my voice sound high pitched as I pointed at Matt and the officers looked at me, confused.

“He was in here with a gun. We just assumed…”

“You assumed wrong! Let him go!”

The officer let go of Matt’s wrists and he immediately stood, pulling me to him.

“Are you okay?” He looked me over and placed a hand on my stomach.

I nodded quickly. “Are you?”

“Yeah, sweets, I’m okay.” He glanced around, his face set into a hard line. “He picked the lock on the back door, fucking idiot. The alarm scared him off though, because he was gone by the time I got out here.”

“Sir.” We looked up and a police officer was looking at Matt. “Do you have the necessary documentation for that weapon?”

Matt nodded his head. “Of course.” He let go of me for a moment to head back down the hallway. When he reappeared, he handed something to the officer. His arms immediately came back around me and he didn’t smile.

The officer nodded. “We’re sorry for the, uh, confusion when we got here.”

I rolled my eyes. “You mean the screw up where you tried to arrest him in his own home after he was just defending his family?” My words came out sharp and I was glad when the officer looked ashamed.

“Yeah, that.”

Matt sighed and dropped a kiss to the top of my head. “Thank you for responding so quickly. I gave Detective Bradley the information about the car following my girlfriend yesterday. I’m pretty sure that was connected to this.”

He glanced towards the couch. “Sit down, Manda. I’m going to go finish talking to the police.” Matt and the officer walked out the door and I sat on the couch silently. So many thoughts ran through my head that I felt like it might explode. I stared at a blank spot on the wall, lost in my thoughts.

After about thirty minutes, Matt finally came back in the house and pushed the mangled front door closed with a sigh.

“The police broke it when they burst in. I’m going to have to secure it shut tonight and I’ll get a new door tomorrow.” He glanced back at me and gave me a once over.

“You didn’t see him then?” My voice came out as a barely audible whisper.

Matt sat next to me and shook his head. “They think they saw that Honda, but they can’t be sure. They’re going to step up patrols even more.”

I nodded and scrubbed my hands down my face. Matt kissed the top of my head once before standing.

“Go back to bed, sweets. I’m going to just get the hammer and get this door closed.”

I shook my head as nerves hit me hard. “I’ll wait for you.”

I sat on the couch as Matt went to get some tools out of the garage. I tried to keep my eyes open as he worked, but I jerked awake as Matt was lifting me off the couch.

“I’m sorry,” I yawned, pushing back on his chest so he’d put me down. Matt just tightened his hold and shook his head.

“Nothing to apologize for. Holding you in my arms is definitely not a hardship.” He put me down on my side of the bed, pulled the blanket over me, and kissed my forehead. “I’m going to shower, but go back to sleep.

I had intended to stay awake until he got out of the shower, but the next time I opened my eyes it was morning. I knew Matt had to be tired, so I left him in bed and moved to the kitchen to get a drink.

In the light of the day the house looked worse. I saw where picture frames and other things had been knocked over during the confusion, and the front door looked terrible. The doorknob on the back door was ruined, and I assumed we were limited to going out the garage if we wanted to leave the house.

A knock on the door made me jump and I looked out the peephole to see David and Patty standing on the front porch. I grabbed a sweatshirt to pull over my tank top as I turned off the alarm and went out through the garage. I made it to the front walkway and both detectives were standing on the porch wearing black suits, looking just as professional as ever.

A smile floated on David’s lips as he saw me. “You couldn’t just open the door?”

I shook my head and gestured for them to follow me in through the alternate entrance. “Your comrades in blue broke it when they burst in last night. Matt had to nail it shut for now.”

David and Patty sat at the table as I made waffles and I told them about the police trying to arrest Matt. David cringed and looked at me apologetically.

“In their defense-he is a big guy, and with a gun I’m sure he seems even bigger.”

Matt strode in the kitchen shirtless, his delicious body on display. He scratched his chest where the lion head was, and I watched as his muscles flexed with each movement. He paused for a moment when he saw David and Patty.

I shook my head and smiled. “At least you’re wearing shorts.” I looked at our guests and didn’t miss the way Patty subtly checked him out. I couldn’t blame her one bit.

He grinned and moved to kiss my forehead before falling in the seat next to David.

“Did Amanda fill you in?”

David nodded and sipped the juice I’d given him. “We got the report first thing this morning since it pertains to Wagner and we’re still searching for him. I knew Sydney would kill me if I didn’t come by and check on her niece. Oh, and the two of you.”

Patty sighed and put her coffee mug down. “We have a patrol sitting on the Parson house now, too. We’re not sure what he’s after, but I think it might be a location on the kids.”

“Great. And he thinks my girlfriend will tell him.” Matt scowled and David nodded.

“Honestly, yeah. Keep your alarm set and we’ll keep a patrol coming through the neighborhood as often as we can.”

“Your advice is awesome, Bradley,” Matt joked as he pat David on the back.

“I know. I wish I had better, trust me.”

I fed both detectives and once they left Matt and I went to Home Depot. I updated Jill on what was going on while I trailed behind Matt as he expertly shopped. We picked out a solid oak door for the living room and a new doorknob for the back door. Matt also grabbed some new deadbolts and chains to install.

Josh and Maddie came over a few hours later and the boys spent a few hours installing all of the new safety precautions.

Maddie and I watched from the couch and she sighed. “How could one family have so much drama?”

I shrugged and leaned my head on her shoulder. “There’s like fifty of us so it’s bound to happen, I suppose.

“That’s true. We just seem to keep growing constantly. It’s really nice, though. I mean, I remember when family dinners were literally just mom and I while Matt was deployed. It’s a whole affair now and I love it.” Maddie rubbed my stomach with a smile. “That’s what you’re bringing Liv into.”

I grinned and nodded in agreement. “I was worried when I first found out I was pregnant because I was just getting ready to move my mom, you were moving out, Sydney was falling in love with David, and I felt so alone. It’s the complete opposite now.”

Josh and Matt appeared in front of us, both with accomplished looks on their faces.

“New doorknobs for both doors, new deadbolts, and each one have security flip lock at the top. They’re pretty solid.” Matt moved to the kitchen for a moment and reappeared with a beer for himself and for Josh.

“Thanks guys,” I said. “That makes me feel better.

Josh shrugged. “Of course, Amanda.” He settled next to Maddie and Matt pulled me to my feet so he could steal my spot, dragging me into his lap once he was settled.

No one wanted to discuss what had happened and so instead we chatted about random subjects. They hung around for a bit longer, but soon Josh and Maddie went home so Josh could finish up some work he had.

Matt and I were sitting on the couch in the early evening and I glanced over at him. “I think I’m going to go visit Mom. Want to come?”

He looked up from whatever he was reading on his iPad and smiled. “I’ll just stay here, if that’s okay. I need to finish reading through a few of these emails by tomorrow. Don’t go anywhere else, though, okay?”

I rolled my eyes and gave him a kiss. “I won’t.”

I stood up to get my shoes on and he grabbed my hand. “Take my car, too. I’ll just feel better if you do.” He hesitated. “I’m just going to come with you.”

I pushed on his chest lightly and shook my head. “Its fine, Matt. You can watch me leave, and the parking lot at the home is very well lit. I’ll be fine.”

I could tell he wanted to fight it and I just leveled him with a look. “I’ll take my stun gun.”

He sighed and I knew I had won. I gave him one last kiss and got ready to go.

I didn’t tell Mom what had been going on but instead filled her in on other events of my life. We sat on the couch together and I told her about the doctor’s appointment from three days before. After I’d finished telling her about his ‘marriage proposal’, she smiled.

“How many times has he asked you to marry him now?”

I scoffed with a shake of my head. “Mama, that’s not really asking. He’s mentioned it three or four times now.”

“And you don’t want to?” Her knowing eyes bored into me and I squirmed.

“I’m not ready.”

Mom shook her head. “What scares you the most, Amanda? Having all of these people in your life, or having all of these people in your life and potentially losing them?”

I picked at a thread on the tablecloth and shrugged. “So many things. What if Matt and I don’t make it? There’s already Olivia’s life we’d screw up, and if we were married there could potentially be others. And if you’re married, it just makes it messier when it’s done.”

“When relationships don’t work, the pain is there whether you’re married or not.”

“Yeah, but if you’re in a marriage you’re trapped.”

“Trapped?” My mom gave me a puzzled look. “What do you mean?”

“Mom…” I blew out a frustrated breath. “I don’t want him to wake up one day and feel like he’s stuck with me. We have so much against us already, and when you stack on the odds that I could be sick one day, that our relationship started out as rocky as it did, and all of the crap that’s happened since...”

She took my hand in hers and gave me a serious look. “Do you think you and Matt won’t make it, Amanda? Honestly?”

I bit my cheek as I stared into her wise eyes. After a moment, I finally confessed what I was too ashamed to say to anyone else. “I’m scared to death we won’t. How does a relationship survive all of this baggage from the start?”

“Because you love each other, Panda. I know it sounds almost too simple to be true, but it really is. If you and Matt love each other enough, you’ll survive. If you want to be a family with him and Olivia, then I don’t see any reason to hold back.” She stood from the dining room table and offered me her hand. I took it and we walked back towards her room and sat on her bed.

She pulled something out from the basket next to her nightstand and handed it to me. It was a soft, pink blanket with some detailed designs crocheted in it and I brought it to my face.

“Mom, it’s beautiful. You did an amazing job.”

She just smiled. “I can’t wait to meet her. I wish I could do more.”

I looked up at her, clutching the blanket in my hands. “You can come home, Mama. Just say the word.”

“Oh no,” she said, shaking her head rapidly. “I don’t want to, Panda. I miss you, but I feel so much clearer here. Besides, that’s your home now. This is mine.”

I nodded, giving her a tight hug and a quick kiss. “I love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, Amanda. Now go home to your family. You look about as exhausted as I feel.”

I dropped off my badge before getting into Matt’s Jeep and going home. I felt a little less foggy after the talk with my mom, but the thought of marriage still had me a bit weary. I wanted to believe that love was the answer to everything, but I wasn’t naive.

As I waited for the garage door to open completely, I saw Matt’s hulking figure standing in the doorway leading into the house. I pulled his big car in, shut it off, and stepped out with a grin.

“My big hero, I have returned.”

He narrowed his eyes and gave me a half smile. “Being sassy will get you naked quickly, sweets.”

I stepped inside the door and winked at him. “Promises, promises.”

Matt wrapped his arms around me from behind, and I let out a squeal as he lifted me off the ground.

“You are in a cheeky mood, aren’t you?” His lips met the back of my neck as he put me down, and his hands moved under my shirt.

“I’m still clothed, Matthew. You promised that I’d be naked.”

He growled as he pulled my shirt over my head and walked me into the bedroom.

An hour later I lay back on the bed, still naked, but completely satisfied. My eyes drifted close as I ran my hand up and down my stomach slowly. Matt was propped on his side watching me and when I opened my eyes I saw a smile on his face. We didn’t speak for a few minutes and finally I spoke with a grin.

“Thank you.”

He chuckled. “I should be thanking you, sweets. I love being with you in every way.”