Scars of the Future (30 page)

Holding the urn in one hand he extended his other towards me. I shifted my, now sleeping, baby in my arms before taking his hand to stand next to him. I nodded when he looked at me questioningly. Matt slowly poured my mother’s ashes in the clear water and we watched for several long minutes. The wind caused the water to churn slightly and eventually all traces of the ashes were gone.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head against Matt’s shoulder. He dropped my hand so he could put his arm around me and his head rested against my own.

I opened my eyes again and stared out at the lake. My mom’s words from almost a year before echoed in my head.
“Being a wife and mother was the most wonderful thing I ever did with my life.”
I glanced down at Olivia’s serene face before looking up at Matt. I was proud of so many things in my life but the thing that made me the happiest were something I never thought I’d have. A peaceful feeling washed over me. She was gone but we’d never forget her or the things she taught us. I looked forward to passing her wisdom on to my own daughter in the future.

Author’s Note

Ah, my joyous readers. We meet again!

I sincerely hope that you enjoyed reading Amanda’s story. She was the difficult one with her levelheadedness. Again, I tried to make everything a realistic with her as possible. I did a lot of research, but I am not a Social Worker. Or a OBGYN. Or a Neurologist. Some inaccuracies may occur, but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

As I close up the last of the trio, I find myself missing the girls already. So, what is a girl to do? Make Patty happy? Maybe Sean? Who knows?! I just know that I’m not ready to let go of the Thomas-Richards-Bradley-Pierce family yet. Stay tuned!

-Kay

Kay Gordon can be reached several ways.

Email-
[email protected]

Facebook-
http://www.facebook.com/authorkaygordon

Goodreads-
http://www.goodreads.com/authorkaygordon

Acknowledgments

Thank you to those who spend their lives protecting others: Police, Military, Fire, Medical. Those roles are not easy and cannot be done by just anyone. You deserve every ounce of respect and admiration possible, and I thank you.

Thank you to my friends and family for not disowning me by now. When I get into crunch time I get tunnel-vision and slack off on all of my other duties. I appreciate you all for not giving up on me!

Most of all, thank you to you, whoever you are. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it

Haven’t had a chance to read Maddie’s story yet? Keep reading for an excerpt from her tale.

Scars of the Past

Book One in the Scars Series

Chapter One

Sweaty bodies moved in rhythmic motions all around us as we pushed through the dance floor. I clung to the hand in front of me like it was a life preserver while trying to keep the hand behind from stopping every five seconds. The brightly colored mini-spotlights moved over us as we passed, and the thumping of the bass reverberated in my ears. It smelled like fake fog from a machine mixed with sweat and alcohol. I hated clubs.

We finally emerged from the throng of people and Amanda led us to straight to the bar. The three of us squeezed into a spot against it, and she threw her hand up to get the attention of one the bartenders who was helping someone else down the bar. Amanda turned back around and flashed me a brilliant smile. A smile that said she knew how uncomfortable I was and that it was amusing her.

“Don’t look so pissed off, Mads. We’re here to have fun!”

“I’m not pissed,” I said with a frown before catching myself and putting on a neutral face. “I just feel so out of place.”

Sydney wrapped her arm around me and put her head on my shoulder. “That’s what alcohol is for, my dear! Liquid courage!” Even with the deafening music she could be heard clearly, her enthusiastic persona made her the loudest person I knew.

She gave me a smacking kiss on my cheek before leaning across the bar and yelling, “Yo barkeep!”  The bartender raised his hand in answer and signaled that he’d be a just a second. Sydney sighed and turned around, looking out at the crowd. “I saw a few out on the dance floor I might have to get to know better.”

Amanda rolled her eyes and smiled. “Of course you did. It’s not a normal day unless you’ve filled your man-candy bowl full of prospects.”

Sydney winked at us before tucking her short, bright blonde hair behind her ear. She opened her mouth to retort when a voice behind the bar shouted to be heard over the pop song that was playing.

“What can I get you ladies?”

Amanda smiled at him and held up three fingers. “Three shots of tequila, please!”

“Six!” Sydney yelled, leaning forward to give him a better view of her exposed cleavage. Not like it hadn’t been noticeable before.

The bartender took the bait, giving Sydney a perusal before setting out six shot glasses to fill them. 

Sydney was the boisterous one in our group, and even though she was the shortest she still knew how to work it. The knee-high boots she had on gave her five-foot-four inches a good height boost, which she strived for. She had topped off her outfit with a short black skirt and tight red tube top that dipped low enough to make her generous chest seem even larger. Her short, bright blonde hair didn’t go past her ears, but it was somehow always done more elaborately than anyone with long hair. Her dark brown eyes twinkled as the bartender gave her another once over before announcing our total.

Sydney passed him her debit card before handing us each a shot and raising hers into the air.

“To us! The hottest bitches in this place!”

Amanda raised her glass high as well. “To us!”

I raised mine feebly before mumbling the sentiment and bringing the foul liquid to my mouth. It poured down my throat, leaving fire in its wake, and I scrunched my nose. “That’s so gross!”

Sydney laughed and shoved the other into my hand. “Keep going. The more you have the better it tastes.” She glanced around as people walked by us and gave me an evil grin.

“There are so many good looking guys in here. I think you need to break your dry streak and bring someone home tonight.”

I grimaced and shook my head. “I don’t think so. The thought of bringing home some drunken guy to my bed makes me want to gag.”

Amanda smiled, but Sydney scowled. “Sometimes you’re such a prude.”

We sat at the bar for a moment and I people-watched as I waited for the alcohol to do its job. Solid was a very popular night club with its close proximity to the campus, so I wasn’t surprised that it was packed on a weekend night.

I self-consciously pulled the black tank top I was wearing up, hiding my mediocre cleavage. It was hot in the club, and I was regretting my choice to wear jeans for the night. Besides, my jeans made me look like I was completely over-dressed compared to some of the outfits the other girls we wearing. Apparently it wasn’t proper club attire unless you could show off your goods when you bent over.

Thirty minutes and another round later, the three of us were among the sweaty bodies dancing very un-rhythmically with each other. The four little glasses of tequila had given me a very nice buzz and I no longer felt out of place as I moved to the music.

A man’s hands settled on my hips from behind and I turned around to look at their owner. I ran my eyes over him slowly, my brain feeling a little foggy. He was hot, with his toned body and hair that fell perfectly on his forehead, and as my eyes met his I could tell her knew it. He wasn’t that much taller than me in my heels, but what he lacked in height he obviously made up for in confidence.

I gave him a smile as I took his hands in mine and pushed them gently into his broad chest. We danced near each other for a bit before he snaked one arm around my waist. I let him for a minute, and we just moved to the beat. As the song changed, he spun me around so my back was to his front, grinding into me from behind. He tried to run his lips down my neck and I wriggled out of his grip. When I turned back around to face him, I narrowed my eyes and shook my head.

“No thanks!”

He winked at me and placed his hands back on my hips where they’d been originally. “You and I make killer dance partners.” He leaned in and I could smell the beer and cigarettes on him as his lips met my ear. “I’m sure we’d be great partners at other things.”

I put my hands on his chest and pushed him away slowly. “No thanks,” I repeated, taking a step back. “You’ll just have to find another partner.”

His smile grew wider and he winked again. “Okay. I’ll try again later and see if you changed your mind.”

“I won’t,” I said as fast as my alcohol fueled brain would let me, but he had already disappeared into the crowd. I turned around and found Sydney with her body pressed up against some guy, more rubbing than dancing. I rolled my eyes and turned to head towards the bar.

After I pushed through the other people on the dance floor I caught sight of Amanda coming from the hallway that led to the restrooms.

Amanda was the level-headed but fierce one of the group. Her long, dark red hair fell in loose curls down her back, and her hazel eyes could burn holes through you if you weren’t careful. She had chosen to wear flats, saying her five-foot-nine inch frame didn’t need any more height, but those long, toned runner’s legs looked fabulous in the shorts she was wearing.

“Where’s Syd?” She asked as she pulled out her phone to look at it.

I pointed towards the dance floor and grinned at Amanda. “She found someone to get to know better.”

She laughed, linking her arm through mine, and pulled me up to the bar. She held up four fingers to the bartender as he walked over and he immediately placed the shot glasses in front of us. We each downed one quickly, Amanda’s eyes glued to the phone in front of her. She blew out a frustrated breath and typed out a message on it furiously.

“What is it?” I asked, lifting the next shot to my mouth. I set the empty glass back on the bar with more force than I meant to and giggled as if it was the funniest thing all night.

Amanda sighed before tucking her phone back into her pocket and pushing her other shot towards me. “Just mom again. She’s having a bad night and I need to go before she gets too riled up. It’s only midnight and I hate to make you leave. Would you rather stay with Sydney or do you want to cab it with me to my mom’s?”

I held up her shot glass and tried to remember what number I was on. Five? Seven? I laughed at my lack of coherence and shook my head. Going to Amanda’s mom’s during one of her moments would definitely kill whatever buzz I had.

“I’ll stay with Syd. She’ll just have to go home alone tonight.”

Amanda smiled and gave me a big hug, almost knocking me over with my shaky equilibrium. “Drunk Maddie is fairly adorable.” She released me and fixed a motherly look upon me for a moment that made me giggle even more. “Are you sure?”

I nodded, settling my weight against the bar. “Positive. I’m having fun.”

She squeezed me again before saying something about finding Sydney to tell her to come back to me. I blew her a kiss as she left and leaned over the bar. The two bartenders stood there in light conversation, apparently enjoying that they weren’t completely slammed at the moment.

“Can I have one more, please?”

The bartender who had been serving us most of the evening frowned and leaned against the bar. He was a bit older than me, probably his early thirties, and he had a rugged sort of charm about him.

“I think you’ve had enough, sweetheart.”

I pouted and gave him my best pleading look. “Just one more, okay?” I let out another giggle when I realized how slurred my words sounded. He shook his head but pulled out a glass to fill it for me anyway.

The second bartender had been on the opposite side of the bar for most of the night, but he stepped up to the counter, shaking his head too.

“That’s the last one, Madelyn.”

I scoffed and waved a dismissive hand in his direction. “S’okay.” I picked up the small glass but immediately put it back down and gave the new bartender a wide smile.

He had familiar brown hair that sat in curls on top of his head, and his gorgeous honey brown eyes looked concerned. My own eyes ran up and down him at a slow pace as I let recognition wash over me. He didn’t smile back, but instead gave me a stern look.

“Josh Richards.” I reached over the bar to pat his cheek but my hand missed and I ended up patting the counter instead. “Hi Josh.”

He finally broke his solid demeanor and gave me a small smile.

“Hey Madelyn. It’s good to see you.”

I stared at him, confused for a moment as my brain tried to catch up.

“God, you’re still as hot as ever.”

He chuckled and leaned in close enough that I could smell whatever cologne or aftershave he wore.

“And you look even better than the last time I saw you.”

I threw back the shot and opened my mouth to say something else, but Sydney appeared, grabbing me by the wrist and promptly dragged me back to the dance floor. We danced clumsily against each other for a while when a couple of guys joined in, and we all danced together, laughing at one another’s dance moves. I felt light and disconnected from my body, but I also felt like it was a thousand degrees in the club.

“Be back! Bathroom!” I yelled to Sydney and she gave me a nod of understanding as I started to move in the direction of the restrooms.

As I walked, I felt my feet working against the two-inch pumps I was wearing, and I stumbled a little. I stopped to lean against the wall and tried to convince myself that the room was not spinning. After a moment, I started to walk again and I noticed a door near the restrooms that led outside. I pushed through that door, ignoring the ‘Employees Only’ sign, and felt the fresh fall air hit me in the face immediately. Even the air in the dirty alley, that smelled like the dumpster was nearby, was more refreshing than the stale air inside the club.

I took in several deep breaths, filling my lungs as I leaned against the concrete building. I let the world around me tilt in several directions, and my eyes drifted shut. I heard the door close again, but I couldn’t persuade my heavy eyelids to open back up.

I smelled him before I felt him, and I finally convinced myself to crack open my eyes. The too-bold hot guy from the dance floor wrapped an arm around my waist and his wet lips connected with my neck before I had a chance to register what was going on. I felt him push his hips against mine, and his already solid erection dug into me. I moaned involuntarily at the pressure and put my hands against his shoulders.

“No. I don’t—what are you doing?” I mumbled clumsily as he moved his mouth down my collarbone, his facial hair scratching against my sensitive skin. He pushed into me again, harder, and I told myself not to react. My mental note didn’t work though, because when he connected right at that sweet spot for second time, I let out another moan.

His lips left my collarbone and his tongue was suddenly in my mouth, the taste of stale beer easily recognizable. He kept moving his hips and my breathing picked up, but I felt panic registering somewhere in my hazy brain. I didn’t want this, but it felt so good. My mind and my body were apparently not communicating. His arm remained around me as his other hand pulled my shirt up over my breasts, exposing my stomach and bra. His fingers moved to my breast and flipped down one of my bra cups before grabbing my nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

“I don’t wanna,” I murmured again as I pushed against his chest. My push didn’t seem to faze him because he didn’t move an inch. Instead, his warm tongue run along my nipple before he sucked it into his mouth. 

My head fell against the hard, cement wall as my eyes shut again and I half-moaned, half-whispered, “Please stop. I don’t want to.”

I heard his deep chuckle and he bit my nipple, making me thrust into him involuntarily.

“Yes you do, gorgeous,” he said quietly as he brought his lips to my ear. He started to undo the button my jeans and his teeth skimmed my earlobe.

“This is making you feel good, and you know it.” He pushed against me again just to prove his point, and I gasped, fisting his shirt. The zipper on my pants came down, and his hands dragged my panties and jeans down to my calves. I shook my head from side to side and let go of his shirt before making another failed attempt to push him back.

“No, no, no, no,” I repeated and tried to swat his hands away from me.

He laughed again, and I felt him reach between us and graze my sensitive skin before suddenly pushing two fingers inside of me. I jerked from both surprise and pleasure and my head lolled backwards, too heavy to hold up anymore. In the back of my mind a war between reasonable thinking and sensation raged on. He moved his fingers in and out of me quickly, and I moaned in between protests. He pressed his thumb against me and I fell apart, my body floating in disconnected bliss before coming back down.

“You like that, don’t you?” He said before shoving his tongue back into my mouth.  I heard him undo his pants before the crinkling noise told me he was opening a condom.

Oh God
, I thought to myself, my brain feeling a bit clearer as shame filled me.
What did I just let him do?

I pushed against him again, a bit harder this time. “No, please. I don’t want any of this.” I could hear my words sound less jumbled and a bit more coherent than they were when he had originally shown up in the alley.

He took a fistful of hair, pulling my head back slightly so I was looking right at him. He stared at me, his eyes dark and his breathing heavy. I felt his other hand pull my knee up to hitch it around his waist. I stared at him in fear and tried to kick my leg away, but it was still tangled in my jeans and his grip was firm.

“I just made you feel wonderful and you know it. Could I do that if you really didn’t want it?” A tear trickled down my cheek and I stared at him, petrified because I knew what was going to happen next and also because part of me worried he was right.

“Please.” I whispered again, and he released my hair. He just smiled a scary smile and I felt him position himself against me. I brought my hand up and got one good slap on his cheek before he grabbed both my wrists with one of his hands, pinning them above my head. I squeezed my eyes shut and turned my head as I felt him enter me roughly. I cried out in pain, certain he was splitting me in two with his force. He slammed into me with punishing thrusts over and over and I felt my lower back start to sting as it rubbed bare against the jagged concrete wall.

“Look at me,” he demanded in a low voice. When I didn’t look immediately, he tightened the grip on my knee. “Now.”

Tears flowed down my face, but I turned my head to look at him and he stared into my eyes with that smile still on his face.

“What’s your name?” He groaned as he thrust into me again. When I didn’t answer, he leaned in so our foreheads were touching.