Scary Dead Things - 02 (19 page)

Just great! A rampaging beast was just dandy all in and of itself. A rampaging beast that knew my name - well, that was...actually, that wasn't particularly surprising. I had almost started to expect things like this to happen. Weird. That still didn't solve the mystery of
what
was causing chaos in the coven's office, but it took the edge off a bit.

I paused for a moment before leaving, very much considering borrowing the shotgun that Ed kept stashed under his bed. He had appropriated it back when we had to deal with Jeff. It had served him well in that ordeal, assuming you consider blowing the head off our geriatric former neighbor to be a check in the win column. Poor Mrs. Caven. She was an old, frail, and nosy-as-all-hell senior citizen who had lived downstairs from us. Jeff kidnapped her, wrongly assuming her to be my mother, and had subsequently turned her into a bloodthirsty monster. We had attempted to rescue her but had been too late to do anything more than put her down for good.

Oh well, no use crying over spilled milk.

Considering I had half a city and several trains to traverse before reaching my destination, I decided against the gun. It was almost a pity to do so. Note to self: talk to Sally about stocking a small arsenal on coven premises. Actually, scratch that. Now that I think about it, the words
Sally
and
arsenal
in the same sentence kind of give me the heebie-jeebies.

I thus grabbed my jacket, and, armed only with my wits, headed off to save the day...hopefully.

* * *

I arrived at the office about an hour later, which, all things considered, was a pretty good pace. Although thinking about breaking my midtown commuting record was probably something I shouldn’t have been worrying about right at that moment in time. But hey, sometimes it's the little victories that really matter.

I walked up to our floor and came upon Sally, Dusk Reaper, and a few other assorted coven members standing outside the main doors.

“Where the fuck have you been?” hissed Sally. She was clearly having a bit of a stressful day. I didn't make it any better.

“Nice to see you, too. Sorry; I would have been here sooner, but I had a brief moment of sanity in which I had to question the wisdom of facing an unknown monster that’s been shouting my name. Fortunately for you, it didn't last.” Sally wasn't so stressed so as to spare me the eye-roll I knew was coming from that one. The pleasantries finished, I continued. “So did any of you see anything?”

“I did,” answered Dusk Reaper.

On the train, I had some time to think about what might be after me and thus had a theory. Not sure how it would have gotten here. Then again, a few months ago I didn't even believe in vampires. So who was I to say what was and wasn't possible? “Let me guess,” I said to Dipshit Reaper, “about nine feet tall, built like a bulldozer, and screams a lot?”

“No,” he replied.

“
No
?” OK, that was unexpected. Not that I should be all that sad about it. Facing off against a creature that had almost turned my rib cage into paste wasn't exactly número uno on my priority list. “What did it look like then?” I asked with a little uncertainty.

“I'm not sure,” Dusk Reaper said. “It was too fast to get a good look at. I think it was pretty small, but I've never seen anything move like that. It was like this tiny little whirlwind. It went after Brian before I could even think of doing anything, and...”

“And you ran like a pussy,” I finished. Dusk Reaper had been one of Jeff's supporters, just not a particularly brave one; however, I made it a point to assert my position as alpha dog to him at every turn, just in case he ever got any bright ideas.

“So what do you think?” asked Sally.

“Tasmanian Devil?” I offered unhelpfully.

“Well, then you get to be Bugs Bunny, especially since it was calling for you,” she replied.

“It knew my name?”

“Dr. Death,” said a female voice to my left. I turned to meet it. It was one of the younger coven members (
aside from me
). Eliza, I think her name was. I didn't know her too well, other than she was one of the conscripts who helped man Sally's suicide hotline scheme.

“What was that?” I said, turning to her. I can't say I minded doing so. Much like all of the other women in the coven, she wasn't exactly hard on the eyes.

“It was calling for Dr. Death,” she answered.

Hmmm, aside from James and the occasional mocking by Sally, nobody called me that anymore (
my subconscious aside
). James didn't exactly fit the definition of tiny, and Sally was standing right here.

“Alright, let's do this, I guess,” I said and then turned to Sally. “Are you in?”

“I’ve got your six,” she replied.

She unlocked the door and held it open. I had no more than crossed the threshold when it slammed shut behind me and I heard it being locked. Somehow, I was not surprised. Maybe I should’ve been nicer on the phone.

The place looked like a bomb had gone off in it. Papers were everywhere, desks were overturned, and there was a man-sized hole in the wall with a pile of dust in front of it...no doubt Brian's last stand. Dusk Reaper was right. It did look like a mini tornado hit this place.

Speaking of which, I should have been paying attention for the perpetrator instead of making a mental checklist for the cleanup. While I was busy observing the damage, something slammed into my back and drove me to the floor.

“FOR THE LAST TIME...” a shrill voice screamed. Strong hands grabbed me and flipped me over. It jumped on top of me, and a small, familiar face filled my vision. “BRING ME...oh, Dr. Death. It is finally you!”

“Gan!?”

* * *

“Open the fucking door, Sally!” I shouted from the other side. “I have your
monster
.”

“Did you get it?” she called back.

“Yeah, I got it,” and she was gonna get it for locking me in.

The door unlocked, and Sally opened it. The other vampires stood behind her, peering in with curious eyes. Goddamn, sometimes vampires can be such pussies.

“Did you kill it?” Sally asked.

“Not quite,” I replied, gesturing to the small girl standing next to me. “Sally, meet Gan. Gan, meet Sally.”

“Gan?” replied Sally, completely flummoxed.

“This is your whore, I presume?” Gan asked, looking up at me.

“What did you call me?” snapped Sally.

“A whore, obviously. A woman of status would never dress like that in my culture. What else could you be?” Gan asked matter of factly.

Sally turned beet red, which was really impressive considering her lack of a heartbeat. She looked like she was about to let fly with something, but I interrupted.

“Well then, now that the introductions are out of the way, what are...”

But Sally wasn't done yet. “What the hell did you think you were doing in there!?” she yelled at Gan, her courage apparently restored now that she had gotten a good look at the big bad
monster
.

Gan ignored her, continuing to look up at me as she replied, “Your whore is insolent. You should whip her.”

“She'd probably like that,” I said, which caused Sally to turn even redder. Soon, I'd be able to fry an egg on her forehead. “But Sally does have a point, Gan. Why were you wrecking the place?”

“Your servants did not immediately heed my command to bring you forth. Thus, I felt a lesson was in order.”

“You killed one of my coven members,” I pointed out.

“It is little matter. But I shall make you another if you wish.”

“That's quite OK. Maybe some other time,” I said quickly. I looked up and noticed that all the other vampires present were still gawking at us. I had lots of questions for her, but I neither needed nor wanted an audience. “OK, everyone, show's over. There's a lot of cleaning to do. Get to it before I let the rest of the coven know about this.”

There was some mild grumbling, but soon enough all of the vampires present, save for myself Gan and Sally, had gone back into the office to start the not-so-tiny task of cleaning up. In at least one way, Gan was no different than any other kid; she could make a hell of a mess with very little effort.

* * *

A few minutes later, the three of us were seated in Sally's executive suite (
bitch
). I sat Gan down and got her a blood pack from Sally's mini bar (
grrrrr
) to suck on.

“I normally prefer my food fresh,” she complained.

“Maybe later. For now, just eat this, please.”

“I will do it for you, Dr. Death,” she said, beaming up at me.

“OK, so you wanna tell me who
Wednesday Adams
here is?” Sally asked from behind her expensive mahogany desk (
goddamn it!
).

“Very well,” I answered. “This is Gansetseg, daughter of the Khan...you know, as in the Khan who's a member of the
Draculas
? I hear he's kind of a big deal.”

“Oh,” replied Sally. She hadn't been expecting that part. Anything that was even remotely connected to the Draculas got instant respect in the general vampire community. Even Sally was at a loss for words, which probably said a lot about the whole situation. “Pleasure to meet you, Gansetseg,” she finally said.

“You may call me Gan, whore. I have grown to prefer it.”

Regardless of Gan's station in the vampire hierarchy, her comment immediately popped the little bubble of awe that had been forming around Sally. Sally glared daggers at her, and then turned her venomous gaze towards me. “And what, pray tell, is the Khan's daughter doing here?”

“Actually, that's a good question,” I remarked, realizing that I didn't know either. I figured I’d do the simplest thing...ask. “Gan, what are you doing in New York?”

“I followed you, obviously,” was her answer. She finished her drink and tossed the empty blood pack unceremoniously into the trash, much like any normal child might dispose of a juice box.

“Obviously,” Sally mimicked with an eye-roll.

It did not go unnoticed by Gan, however. “What is that expression the whore makes?”

“Oh, that? It's a...sign of respect,” I said, giving Sally a sideways glance. Hopefully, she was smart enough to realize that I had probably just saved her life. Pint-sized or not, Gan was three hundred years old. That meant she was most likely more than a match for either of us.

“That is good. Perhaps she knows her place after all,” Gan continued.

Before Sally could open her mouth and ruin it - because believe me, she was going to - I continued questioning Gan. “So why exactly did you follow me?”