Sean Donovan (The Californians, Book 3) (16 page)

Sean

Sitting at the kitchen table, Sean broke down at this
point. He asked himself repeatedly how he could have
left his loving family, and why he'd been so blind to how
much they cared. What if something had happened to
Katie or Marcail and he would never see them again?

The questions tormented him, causing his tears to
come harder. He prayed and tried to give his hurt to
God, but it was some minutes before he was able to
contain himself. Even then his heart felt bruised over all
he'd left behind.

Around the corner in the living room, Charlie was
crying with him. She was beginning to care deeply for
him and this made her pain nearly as great as his.

Charlie listened as Sean tried to gain control of himself.
She wanted to join him in the kitchen but was sure she
would be intruding. As it was, she didn't have long to
wait before he joined her in the living room.

Sean entered the room and glanced at Charlie as she
worked over her books. He sat on the sofa and picked up
the paper. He'd read just a few sentences of one article
when he felt her eyes on him. He looked over and forced
his eyes to lock with hers.

'Are you all right?"

"I think so," he answered honestly. "Thank you for
getting the supplies so -I could write."

"You're welcome," Charlie answered and then hesitated. "Do you think they'll write back?"

"I'm sure they will."

"Then you didn't tell them about the bank robbery?"

Sean understood instantly. She was talking about conditional love, probably the only kind she had ever known.
He chose his words carefully.

"I did tell them about the robbery and the hanging.
They will be upset that I was almost hanged, but it's been
so long since I've been in touch I think they'll be glad I'm
alive and that I wrote to them."

"So you're not afraid they'll never want to see you
again?"

"No, that thought never entered my mind."

Charlie was quiet for a long time, and Sean just stared
at her. "Your family must be a very understanding one."
Sean watched as she went back to her accounts, a sign
that the conversation was over.

What type of family life had she known? The question
moved through Sean's mind for some minutes before he
went back to his paper. As he did, he spotted the school
primer sitting on the living room table. His eyes swung
once again to Charlie, and he wondered how she even
handled her account books. Sean sighed mentally. He
knew he couldn't possibly bring it up tonight, but at
some point he had to offer to teach his wife to read.

At breakfast the following morning, Sean's attempt to
bring up the school primer failed. Charlie became very
brisk and said she wanted to open early since they had
been late the day before. Sean headed to the post office to
post his letter and then to the livery, praying for a chance
to talk with her.

There were several opportunities during the day, but
each time Charlie avoided Sean neatly. As the day wore
on, Sean became more determined to discover if Charlie
was upset with him or just did not want to learn to read.
He decided to wait until evening, when she had no place
to go, and ask her outright.

"Who does the cooking for the hotel?" Sean asked as
they sat down to their evening meal

"Ruth's mom," Charlie replied.

"She's a great cook."

"Most of the town thinks so, and of course her husband does too."

"I haven't met him, have I?"

"You must not have, because you would remember.
His size alone will tell you that he's his wife's biggest
fan."

"I could fatten up on your cooking too," Sean commented. "Fortunately I work it all off during the day."

"Do you think the work is too hard?" Charlie was
instantly concerned, and then embarrassed.

"No," Sean said, ignoring her heated cheeks. "The
work is fine. You have some of the best equipment I've
ever seen."

They ate in silence for a time and then Sean nonchalantly brought up the primer.

"Charlotte, I wanted to talk to you about the book I
had you buy yesterday."

"I think I want to go see Sadie tonight."

Sean knew he shouldn't have been surprised by this,
but he was. How long was she going to avoid him? It was
a question that went unanswered because Sean decided
once again to let the matter drop. Charlie was good at her
word, and as soon as the dishes were done, they headed
to Sadie's.

"What's this for?" Sadie held out the coins that Charlie
had just placed in her lap. Sean was having a piece of pie
in the kitchen, and Charlie had gone in search of her
aunt. She had found her in the small room Sadie called
her private parlor.

"I'm not good with picking out fabrics."

"Fabric for what?"

Charlie frowned, not really wanting to tell, but not
seeing that she had any choice.

'A dress."

"For you?"

Charlie nodded without looking at her aunt. Sadie's
fingers went under her niece's chin so she would have to
look at her.

"What's going on?"

Charlie shrugged and then softly explained what
Duncan had said to them. "I think he's right, and I don't
have a thing to wear to church."

"So you think you would actually care if Sean had to
go back to the gallows?"

Charlie frowned at her aunt. "Of course I would; he's
the only blacksmith I've got."

Sadie chuckled. "I guess he is at that. How silly of me
to think you might be feeling something for him."

Tears filled Charlie's eyes, and Sadie was instantly
contrite. "I'm sorry honey. I shouldn't tease you. I'll go
first thing tomorrow and get the fabric. In fact, let me
measure you right now, and I'll have a dress ready for
you to try on tomorrow night."

"Really?"

"Really," Sadie said with a smile, thinking that Charlie looked young again for the first time in years.

"Sadie?"

"Yes?"

"Can we please not tell Sean?"

Sadie looked surprised, and then her eyes grew round
with feigned ignorance. "Tell Sean what?"

Charlie gave her aunt a hug. Sadie went out to check
on her niece's husband and give him another piece of
pie. Then the two women slipped quietly into Sadie's
sewing room so Charlie could be measured.

"There isn't much to you under all these baggy clothes,
is there?"

Charlie looked down at her small figure under a nearly
worn-out camisole. "You think I'll look all right in the
dress?"

"I think you'll look like an angel. Just remember, a
man treats a lady like a lady when she acts like one. How
you look is not near so important as how you act."

Charlie was quiet as she took this in. Her mind conjured up the scene when Tansy allowed Sean to hold her
chair; not just allowed it, but expected it. Charlie's eyes
closed in pain as she remembered Sean staring at her
those times she had climbed aboard the wagon or buggy
like a man.

The more Charlie thought about it, the more she realized she had no idea how a lady acted. Did a man always
help a woman with her chair, and how about the wagon?
Her grandfather never once helped her or Sadie into or
out of a wagon. Of course, her grandfather had been no
gentleman, and Sean Donovan was.

Any man who would remove his hat when he entered
a room and stand when a woman walked into his presence was a gentleman from the toes up.

"I wonder what his mother was like?"

"Whose mother?"

"Sean's.
"

"Charlotte," Sean called from the other room before
Sadie could reply.

"I'll be out in a minute," Charlie responded, hoping
he wouldn't come to find her. She slipped her blouse
back on and hurried with the buttons.

Sean was standing near the table, his plate empty once
again. That he had wondered where she was and why he
had been deserted in the kitchen was obvious.

'Are you ready to go?" Charlie asked.

"Not if you're busy," Sean replied.

Always so considerate, Charlie thought, and then called
a farewell to her aunt.

The couple walked side by side toward home in the
gathering dusk. They were almost to the livery when a
voice, slurred with inebriation, came out of the gloom.

"Well, if it isn't the newlyweds."

"Get out of here, Murphy," Charlie told him in disgust.

Murphy ignored her and began to rain insults down
on the livery, its owner, and Sean. At one point he waved
his arm expansively and nearly fell over into the street.
The action seemed to break his concentration. He stared
at Charlie as though just noticing her, and then stumbled
on into the night.

Charlie waited only the space of two heartbeats before
she started after him. Sean's reactions were quicker,
though. In one deceptively fast move his arm shot around
her waist, and he pulled her back against his chest.

"Let go of me, Sean," she panted in fury as she struggled against his hold. "I'm going to give Murphy a kick
he's never going-to- forget."

"I think it would be best for everyone if I just held onto
you for a while." Sean's voice was so rational that Charlie
wanted to scream. She continued to pull at his arms,
both around her now, but it was like a dragonfly trying
to move a horse's hoof off its wing.

"Weren't you listening to the things he said?" Charlie
fumed, trying another tactic. "The things he said about
you?"

"I was listening." Again he was infuriatingly calm, his
voice almost gentle.

Charlie stopped struggling then and let herself relax
against her husband's chest. She felt his chin come to
rest on the top of her hat and wished for the first time
ever that she wasn't wearing it.

"What am I going to do with you, Sean Donovan?"
Charlie asked with a sigh. "You're polite to everyone,
even your enemies."

"Had he physically attacked you, Charlotte, I would
have knocked him across the street, but that was nothing
more than the pitiful rambling of a drunk." Sean's voice was compassionate, and Charlie was more confused
than ever.

Charlie turned in her husband's arms, which had
loosened to allow her room. She tipped her head back
and tried to see him in the now complete darkness.

"What am I going to do with you, Sean?" This time the
words were whispered, and the answer was just as soft.

"I'm sure you'll think of something."

Without further words Charlie pushed away from her
husband's embrace. Sean let her go, but was more than a
little tempted to pull her back. He followed her home in
silence, but until he fell asleep much later, his mind
dwelt on how lovely she had been to hold.

I can't be falling for her. It's too soon." Sean had been
repeating these words to himself for days, and still he
was no closer to being convinced than the first time he
had said them.

A week had gone by since Charlie had tried to kick
Murphy. Charlie's dress had not been quite ready, so she
hadn't mentioned going to church again. And even
though Sean wanted very much to be in the house of the
Lord, his mind was so full of his wife that attending
services seemed less important right then.