Sean Donovan (The Californians, Book 3) (22 page)

The party of five was just finishing their coffee and
dessert when Duncan's deputy came to the door. He said
he had a problem at the office that would not wait.
Duncan regretfully bid his wife and guests goodbye.

Sean and Patrick both offered to help the women with
cleanup, but Lora said the kitchen was too small for so
much help. She showed them into a spacious, comfortable living room and left them alone.

Patrick was silent as his gaze took in the room, and it
was a few moments before he realized Sean was staring
at him. Their eyes met, so alike in shape and color, and
Sean finally asked the question that had been on his
mind for more than five years.

"Why didn't you come back?

Patrick's eyes slid shut for just an instant, relieved that
his son finally wanted to talk.

'At first, it was because they needed me, Sean."

"We needed you too."

"I know you did, but at the time, I believed they
needed me more."

Sean was quiet as the remembered pain flooded back
in upon him, and then he realized exactly what his father
had said.

"What did you mean-at first?"

Patrick seemed reluctant then, but Sean never took his
eyes from his father, forcing Patrick to take a deep breath
and tell his story.

'As selfish as this is to admit, it was almost a relief to
have a catastrophe on my hands the moment I returned to the islands. I was so busy for the first seven months
that I had little time to miss you kids and your mother.

"But then things began to regulate. Not enough so
that I felt I could leave, but enough so that I had more
time on my hands-time to think about all I'd lost. The
evenings were the worst. When daylight disappeared
and there was nothing more I could do for the day, I'd go
back to our empty little house that had miraculously
survived the hurricane and sit alone until I thought I
would die of loneliness, or worse yet, have to keep on
living. Then the lies began."

"The lies?" Sean broke in softly, not fully believing
what he was hearing.

"Yes, lies," Patrick admitted. "It was easy, you know,
to lie in the letters and tell you I was doing well and
praying for you. But I wasn't. I was so eaten up with
bitterness that God would take my wife when I believed I
needed her most that I stopped praying."

"But you continued to minister to the people there?"

"Yes, I did, and only a select few knew I was struggling. When I finally made it to Santa Rosa, Katie told
me how your backsliding had been slow in coming. I
couldn't help but think how alike we are.

"Not that I was happy about such a comparison, but
three years had passed before I made it back to California
and spiritually, I was still on shaky ground. In fact, it was
in Santa Rosa that I got things straight, and in a way I
have you to thank."

"Me?"

"Yes, Sean, you. When I watched your mother's
health decline, I thought I'd felt as helpless as a man
could, but at least I knew where she was. It was worse
with you. I'm thankful that Katie spared me nothing.
She told me, sometimes at the top of her voice, how
disappointed she was, and how I'd missed you by only a few weeks. I can't tell you the pain I felt to think that my
17-year-old son was out wandering the state and possibly the country, on his own. The decision to leave was
yours, Sean, but I should have returned sooner. I just
kept telling myself that I couldn't face all of you. You
thought I was a pillar of spiritual strength. In actuality, I
was a mass of pain and anger."

"I still don't understand where I came into the picture."

Patrick took a breath; remembering was painful. "The
helplessness Sean-that was my final downfall. You
were gone and I didn't know where. I had no other
choice but to call on God and give myself back to Him
completely. My despair was so great that I don't believe I
would be here today had I not done just that."

Patrick fell silent at this point, giving Sean time to
think. Of all the scenarios he had conjured up in his
mind, the idea of his father living in bitterness against
God was not one of them. But so much made sense now.
Sean could never reckon the man who left California
with a man who could leave his family for years, but now
Sean saw that it could happen.

Sean wanted to thank his father for baring his heart so
completely, but there was a little more he had to know.

"You said you had been in Santa Rosa for a visit, so I
assume you went back to Hawaii two years ago."

"Yes, I did. I stayed with Rigg and Katie for about two
months and then with Maureen for a few weeks."

"Did you take Marc with you?"

"No," Patrick smiled. "Your sister had become quite
grown up, and she told me very seriously that she wished
to remain in Santa Rosa. I felt it was for the best, so I went
back alone."

"What brought you back now?"

"Time. When I left two years ago I decided I would not stay away for more than a two-year period, no matter
what was happening on the islands."

"Were you in Santa Rosa when Kate had her miscarriage?" Sean's voice was as impersonal as it had been
during the entire conversation.

"No." Patrick suddenly looked older than Sean had
ever seen him. "Rigg told me when he got to Maureen's.
He also told me that she deliberately kept from mentioning me in her letter to you because she didn't know if
Rigg would catch me before I sailed."

"I'm glad he did." Sean spoke thickly, no longer able
to hide his breaking heart.

'Are you really, Sean? Are you really glad?" Patrick's
voice was desperate, and Sean saw the tears in his eyes.

Lora and Charlie planned to join the men at that
moment, but the sight of Patrick and Sean embracing in
the middle of the room stayed their action.

As they turned away, Lora saw the tears in Charlie's
eyes and assumed they were tears of joy, as her own
were. She would have been surprised to know that Charlie's tears came from believing she had just lost the most
precious thing she'd ever found.

The next three days were a time of joy and laughter for
Sean and his father. They talked almost nonstop. Sean
learned of his sisters' activities and those of his beloved
nieces. Aunt Maureen had sent her love also, and Sean
had even taken time to write to her.

Patrick also spent time getting to know his daughterin-law, and joined the family with renewed purpose in
prayers for her salvation. But it was obvious that something had changed between husband and wife.

That Charlie was trying to give Patrick and Sean time
together was clear, but she seemed to be doing so at the
expense of her own marriage. Patrick said as much to
Sean one evening when they were alone in the living
room.

"It's time for me to go, Sean."

"So soon?"

Patrick nodded. "It is soon, but my presence is not
helping your marriage, and I think that needs to be a
priority right now."

Sean's face was a mask of confusion. Finally he spoke.
"She seems to have drawn farther away from me every
day you've been here, and yet I know she likes you."

"Have you had a chance to ask her about it, like when
you retire for the night?"

Sean hesitated for only a moment. "We don't share a
bedroom."

Patrick was not surprised at the lack of intimacy in the
marriage. He had been happily, intimately, married for
over 20 years himself, and he knew the signs. He had
seen Sean touch Charlie, but they never looked at each
other the way Rigg and Katie did-in a way that told how
one found the other to be wonderful and desirable.

Patrick decided to keep most of his thoughts to himself, and when he spoke his look was kindness itself.
"You're nearly strangers, Sean, but I can see she cares for
you, and unless I miss my guess, you're in love with
her."

"You're right. I do think I'm in love, but how can I
be?" Sean voiced the question that would not leave his
mind. "As you said, we're practically strangers."

"I've always believed that love can happen very fast.
Believe me, love is what gives a marriage joy, but the
factor that's going to stand the test of time is your-"

"Commitment," Sean finished for his father, and
Patrick's eyes grew suspiciously wet.

"Yes, commitment. Some people feel this is some sort
of duty, but in fact it gives a marriage very real stability."
They talked for the next hour and then spent another
hour in prayer.

Sean went to bed in a quandary of emotions, at peace
with God and his father, but saddened to see the parent
he had come to love all over again leave. He knew Patrick
planned to tell Charlie the next day that he would be
leaving the day after.

Suddenly Sean didn't feel quite so sad. He was more
than ready to work on his relationship with his wife, and
his father was right-his presence was something of a hindrance. If only he and Charlie had already come to
the point of conversing as husband and wife should,
Sean would have felt on more stable ground. As it was,
he felt only confusion.

Charlie had constantly put Sean and his father together as though she approved of the relationship, and
yet she suddenly seemed to disapprove of Sean. The
smiles he had begun to see more and more frequently
had disappeared altogether, and in the evenings when
they had some time to work on the reading, Charlie
would take herself off to her room and not come out
before morning.

Sean prayed about the time he could approach Charlie, wanting desperately to lean on God for this. He fell
asleep as he always did, asking God to bring his wife to a
saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.

"I really would like to pay you for the room and board."

"I won't even discuss it with you," Sadie told Patrick
in a no-nonsense voice. "You're Charlie's father-in-law,
and that makes you family. I don't charge family."

Sadie's hands were on her hips, her eyes daring Patrick to argue with her. Patrick eyed her for just a moment
before he spoke graciously.

"Then I thank you, Sadie, for your hospitality."

"You're welcome," Sadie told him simply and turned
away, looking for something to do with her hands. He
was the most handsome man she had seen in years, and
for some reason, Sadie felt a bit flustered in his presence.
But flustered or not, she felt it was a pity he had to leave.

Sadie's wayward thoughts were interrupted by the
arrival of Sean and Charlie. They were there to walk
Patrick to the train station. Patrick, his manner once again quiet and gracious, thanked Sadie for the last time.
He was unaware of the way she stood in front of the
boardinghouse and watched him leave.

"Charlotte, I can't thank you enough," Patrick said as
he pulled his daughter-in-law into his sturdy embrace.
The walk to the train station had been very quiet. Charlie
realized in that instant how much she'd come to care for
her husband's father.

"Do you really need to leave?" she asked in all sincerity.