Sean Donovan (The Californians, Book 3) (21 page)

"Hello, Sean." The older man spoke softly.

Sean was silent as he moved back and held the door for
his father to enter. Patrick stepped across the threshold
and stood with his hat in his hand. Sean made no move
to touch him, and the two men stood in the lantern light
eyeing one another. Sean wished he could say just one of
the things he had rehearsed while he waited for this
man. Patrick was also quiet, not wanting to say anything
that might drive an even bigger wedge between them.

Charlie, curious about the silence in the kitchen, came
from the living room and stood beside her husband.
Patrick's gaze swung to the small redhead and he smiled
in relief.

"You must be Charlotte?" he guessed. Setting his
small bag down, Patrick held out his hand. Charlie was
quick to offer her hand to this stranger, having weighed
the situation up in an instant. "I'm Patrick Donovan,
Sean's father."

"It's nice to meet you," Charlie offered sincerely.

"How did you know this was Charlotte?" Sean asked,
speaking his first words.

"I was just in Santa Rosa for a visit, and then I was at
your aunt's with plans to sail when Rigg showed up with
your letter."

"This is your first visit back then?"

"No, actually it isn't," Patrick said somewhat reluctantly. "I was back two years ago, but when I arrived in
Santa Rosa, Katie told me I'd missed you by about six
weeks."

"Six weeks," Sean said the words in a stunned whisper
as pain crowded in around his chest. After a moment he
seemed to mentally shake himself. "Well, come in and
have a seat. Are you hungry?"

"Thank you, no."

Once in the living room, Charlie and Sean took the
sofa and Patrick took the chair. Again silence prevailed.

"Was it a rough trip over from San Francisco?" asked
Charlie.

"Not bad," Patrick smiled at his daughter-in-law for
the lifeline she had tossed him. "This is hot country over
here, but I met some interesting people."

"You came by train?"

"For the most part. It's a good way to see the area."
The remark sounded ridiculous even to his own ears, but
nothing else came to mind.

"I've never been on a train," Charlie continued,
thinking that the elder Mr. Donovan looked rather lost.

She wished that Sean would get involved in the conversation. He was sitting ramrod straight, his eyes taking in Charlie and his father with measured glances.
Sean's face, Charlie noted, gave away none of his feelings. Charlie talked with her father-in-law for the better
part of an hour before he rose.

"Well, it's been good visiting with you, but it's getting
late. If you could point me in the direction of the hotel,
I'll go get a room for the night." He tried to keep the
disappointment from his voice.

"You don't need to stay at the hotel," Charlie said as
she and Sean both stood. "We don't really have room for
you, but my aunt runs a boardinghouse and I know she'd
be glad to have you. It's very clean, and you would have
your own room."

"Well, if you're sure it wouldn't be an imposition."

"I'm sure. Sean and I can walk you over."

It was a silent threesome that made their way to Sadie's.
Sean stood with his father in the kitchen while Charlie
went in search of Sadie.

"Sadie is very hospitable," Sean told his father. "Don't
hesitate to ask for whatever you need."

"I won't."

Again the heavy silence fell.

"I smith for Charlotte at the livery," Sean began again.
"I have to work tomorrow, but you're welcome to come
by anytime."

"Thank you, Sean," Patrick responded, working again
to keep the emotion from his voice. "I'll plan on that."

Sadie bustled into the room a moment later, and
before following her to his room, Patrick bid his family
goodnight.

Seeing how badly he needed time to adjust to his
father's presence, Charlie wasted no time in getting Sean
out the door and home. As soon as they were within the
walls of their own home, Charlie told Sean she was
going to bed.

"I'm tired, and I suspect you need some time to think."
Charlie turned toward the hallway and then hesitated.
"If you need to talk, Sean, just knock on my door."

"Thanks, Charlotte."

Sean waited until she had gone into her room before
moving toward his own. He did need some time, she
had been right about that, but what was he to do with
that time? Did he pray and ask God to erase all the years
of hurt and confusion, or did he walk straight back to
Sadie's and confront the father he believed had deserted
him and his sisters when they needed him most?

Sean opted for prayer. Not so that he could forget all
the hurt, but so that he could put aside the anger and
bitterness that still rode him. If he didn't, he was sure to
have even more regrets after what was certain to be a
brief time with his father.

Why didn't you come back? Didn't you realize how much we
needed you? I was so angry with you, I think I must have hated
you. I can't believe you could put the work at the mission ahead
of your family ...

Sean's thoughts gave him little rest through the night.
But the anger in his heart was abating, and Sean was
pleased because he didn't want to face his father with
angry words. The questions that came to his mind again
and again, however, had to be answered.

One look at Sean's face the following morning, and
Charlie knew just how bad his night had been; hers
hadn't been much better. As soon as she had shut her
door, she wished she had asked Sean to move into her
bedroom. They needed each other, for love and companionship. It was impossible to say when the time would be
right again. The thought saddened her.

The conversation over breakfast was subdued, and
both husband and wife were glad to get into the livery to
start their daily tasks. Sean was in the midst of shoeing
one of their own horses when his father appeared.

Sean's back was to the stall opening, and Charlie, not
wanting to break his concentration, did not alert him of
his father's presence.

Patrick watched in fascination as his son worked.
Katie had written about the fine blacksmith Sean had
been when he was 16 and 17, but as Patrick watched
Sean's capable hands, he realized that her letters didn't
do him justice. Patrick also took note of Charlie, who
assisted her husband with quiet efficiency. They made
an ideal partnership.

He prayed silently as the couple finished, asking God
as he had last night and all this morning to ease the way
between Sean and himself. He knew he deserved his
son's anger, but he also knew that he would go nowhere
until things between them were settled. Sean had been
so silent the night before that Patrick had no gauge as to
how long that could take. He prayed that his emotions as
well as his finances would hold.

The task complete, Sean emerged from the stall, effectively breaking into his father's thoughts. Again Patrick
spoke the first words that came to mind.

"Your grandfather was a blacksmith back in Ireland,
Sean. I don't know if you remember me telling you that."

"Actually, I'd forgotten," Sean's said, surprise filling
his voice. Then the memories flooded back. "You helped
him from the time you could walk."

"That's right, I did-right up to the day before I left for
America."

An uncomfortable silence fell for the space of a few
heartbeats, and then Sean began to show his father
around the livery. Patrick was as impressed as Sean had
been on his first day. Charlie joined them, and Sean
moved from stall to stall with his arm around his wife. It
was a comfort to touch her; his life with her seemed more
concrete to him than being able to call this man Father.

The day was not as uncomfortable as Sean would have
thought. In fact, although impersonal, the next three
days were very relaxed. Patrick spelled Charlie in the
livery whenever he could, and Charlie, although she
missed Sean's company, left father and son alone often,
knowing they needed to talk.

Charlie could have stayed without worrying. In the
end, the showdown between father and son was to come
at a time no one could have predicted.

It felt very odd for Sean to be taking his father to
church. He wondered at the tenseness he felt, and then
realized how much he craved his father's approval of the
church he attended.

As the pastor had said, they were once again studying
the life of Jesus Christ. Each time Sean looked down at
his own Bible, his eyes drifted to his father's lap and the
Bible resting there, remembering the Christmas his
mother had given it to him.

Sean had been about nine that Christmas, and very
interested in boats and sailing. He simply couldn't understand why his mother was so excited to be giving her
husband a new Bible. A Bible? Surely his father would be
disappointed. To Sean's surprise, he wasn't.

On Christmas morning it was the last gift to be opened,
and Sean had watched his mother sit on the edge of her
chair. He had no idea how long she had waited for that
Bible to arrive, praying it would be on time and undamaged.

Sean could see in an instant that his father was thrilled
with his gift. He caressed the leather binding and touched
the pages before turning unsuspectingly to the front
where his mother had written some well-chosen words.

Sean recalled the way his father's eyes swam with
tears as he looked across the room at his spouse. It was
some time before Sean was able to see what his mother
had written, but he knew they were words he would
never forget.

My darling Patrick,

No day passes that I don't rejoice in our
marriage. No month goes by that I don't see
you growing in the Word. With each new year
our love increases. And when at last we stand
in heaven, I'll thank our eternal Father for
blessing our life together here on this soil.

All my love,

Theresa

The Bible was no longer new, and the woman who had
written the message had gone on before them, but her
message was as powerful to Sean now as it was the first
time he had read it. Sean suddenly felt overwhelmed
with the loss of his mother. It wasn't really his mother's
death that grieved him as much as his father's having to
be alone, and how little he now knew his father because
of the mistakes he had made.

With an effort Sean pulled his mind back to the present. He had missed half the sermon while his mind
wandered to events of the past and things he couldn't
change. There was the present and the future to think
about, and in those he could play a part. It was time to
talk with his father; not the small talk they'd been uttering for days, but real talk.

Having come to this decision, Sean remembered they
were going to Duncan's for dinner. He prayed for patience over the delay, and then asked God to bless them
when the timing was right.

The conversation over dinner was lighthearted and
fun. Duncan and Lora were thrilled to meet Patrick and
welcomed him into their home with all the love and
graciousness that Charlie and Sean had come to expect.