Second Chance Love (Heaven Hill Book 6) (4 page)

“We can’t do that again, Rooster,” she told him, situating her shirt to where it sat at her waist again.

“The hell we can’t. It’s been seventeen years and it’s not gone away, Roni. Don’t you see?” He put his hand at her neck and forced her eyes to meet his. “It’s never going to go away. I’m not interested in spending another seventeen years without you.”

Those words from any other person would have made her roll her eyes, but those words from Rooster scared her. They’d been down this road once and it had broken her.

“Let me rephrase that. I can’t do this with you again and I won’t.”

Rooster fought to keep the anger out of his voice, the rage off his face. “I’m not gonna let you run away from me again.”

“You have no choice,” she told him sadly. “Because I won’t put myself in the situation again.”

“We’ll see,” he told her as she got into her car. “We’ll see how long you can deny the feelings between us.”

She wanted to hurt him, tell him that she’d done it with no problem for seventeen years. That, however, wasn’t the truth. She’d had a major problem with it, always wondering what would have been. Would they have gotten married? Their child would be around the same age as Drew and Mandy now. How would she have been as a mother? Would he have been a strict father? “Please, let it go.” She was tired of fighting it. Keeping their secret was tiring.

“You no longer have Liam to hide behind. He and I are good now. I’m not going to sit back anymore and live my life without you. It’s not happening. I let people take you away once. I’m not doing it again.”

Closing the door, she started the car, not wanting to hear the words he was telling her. Now wasn’t the time. Her heart wasn’t as open as it had once been, and she wasn’t sure she believed in love anymore. There were plenty of people in her immediate life who had found love and were making relationships happen, but she didn’t think it would ever happen for herself.

She was okay with that. At least she had been up until five minutes ago when Brandon Hancock kissed her like he was dying and she was the air he needed to breathe. Years of emotions that had lain dormant were back, and Roni wasn’t sure that she’d ever be prepared to deal with them.

Chapter Four

T
he next morning, Roni pulled into Walker’s Wheels and took an excited breath when she realized she was the first person there. She could get so much more accomplished without the guys milling around asking her questions. The previous bookkeeper had been a good one, but the cancer diagnosis for her husband had thrown her for a loop. Roni could see without anyone telling her when he’d been diagnosed. The work had become sloppy and then Liam had taken over. She’d walked into a total shit fest, but that was okay, because that was what she always did. Cleaned up everyone else’s mess. It’s what she’d done since Liam and Rooster had cleaned up hers. Her life had been dedicated at that point to helping either one of them at any time. Guilt had eaten at her, it still ate at her. She wasn’t sure she would ever forgive herself, but that was her cross to bear, not theirs.

Walking into the office, she turned on the lights and shut off the alarm. It was quiet here, almost unnerving compared to what she was used to, but she enjoyed the work. Regardless of what had gone on between her and her dad, she loved being around her family. She loved getting to watch Liam grow and blossom into the man he was now. It was one of the greatest joys of her life. It had been just the two of them for so long, she, in some ways, felt like his mother.

There was a soft knock at the door before someone came in.

“Morning.” She smiled as Liam came in. He sat across from her and handed her a cup of coffee. “Thank you, I didn’t see your truck when I got here,” she told him as she blew at some of the steam that was rolling off.

“Just got here,” he yawned. “I had to drop Drew off at a friend’s house. Figured I’d come in and talk to you. We haven’t had a chat in a while.”

They hadn’t, and that had been one of the things she’d loved most about him. He was easy to talk to and he never judged, but it was like once he’d gotten his own family, she felt uncomfortable. Not because of him, but because of herself. “You’re right, we haven’t.”

“Seriously Roni, how’s it going? I’m not liking the way you’re lookin’ lately.”

How did she explain to him that no one could help her? No one could give her what she wanted except for the one man that she didn’t want to be around. “I’m good, tired, but good.”

“That’s horse shit and you know it. I’m worried about you. Please let me help with whatever it is,” he begged her, running his hand through his hair. “Is it Rooster? He and I are good now. He and Tyler have even been hangin’ out. I’m planning on bringing him in on some stuff, so you better tell me now if it’s him.”

“I will not ruin your friendship with him again,” she told him, taking a drink of her coffee.

“Fuck that, Roni. You didn’t ruin anything. We were kids, but we knew exactly what we were doing when we told those cops that we took care of that guy. There was no doubt in either of our minds that we were going to take care of you. It was our decision to make. You can’t hide behind it for the rest of your life.”

“You think I hide behind it?” Tears were pooling and her breath was coming faster. He was onto what her security blanket was. He had figured out that she hid behind it like it was a shield.

“Yes, and I’m telling you now, you are thirty six years old, I want nothing more for you than for you to live your life. I don’t know for sure what William made you do when we were younger, but I have a good idea. I’m here to tell you that there is no one stopping you but yourself. I want you to love, I want you to laugh, and I want you to live.” His voice was hoarse as he spoke to her. “We were both put in shitty situations by circumstance, but look at us, look at me. I wear a ring on my finger and go home every night to a woman who brightens up at the sight of me; I have three amazing kids that love me. I never thought I would have that, but you gave that to me. I owe you
my
life now.”

“I didn’t give you anything.” She took to straightening up the papers on the desk.

“The hell you didn’t. You may not have known it when you suggested we use Denise, but you made my life, now I want to make yours. If you wanna be with Rooster, be with him. Give him a chance. No one in this club is going to stop you. You have my word on that. You’ve always taken care of me.” He got up and came around the desk. He pulled her up and hugged her tightly around the waist. “Let me take care of you for a change.”

A sob broke the surface, one that she didn’t even know she was holding in. “I don’t know if I can,” she cried. “I don’t know if I have it in me to be that trusting anymore. Maybe I’m ruined.” She wiped at the tears on her face.

“You’re not ruined, you’ve been scared because of circumstance, but you can live again. Look at Christine, look at Meredith. You are one of the baddest bitches I know,” he complimented her. “You would stare William down in the face when he was talking bad to me. No one else I knew would stand up for me with him, but you.”

“That’s because he’d already gotten to me.”

“Who gives a shit? You’re my sister and you’re the one who’s always watched out for me. Now I’m watching out for you, and I’m telling you to follow your heart. Will it be happily ever after? I don’t know. None of us do, but I do know that you will never forgive yourself and I will never forgive myself if you don’t. If you have to tell yourself you’re doing it to make me happy, then so be it.”

Who was this guy and what had he done with her brother? It was amazing how a woman could change the dynamics of a guy’s mind. Could she change Rooster’s? When he found out what she’d done because of William, would he still want to be with her?

“I see what you’re doing and I’m going to give you some unsolicited advice. Let him make his own mind up. He’s a smart man, even though he’s made some bad decisions, just like the rest of us. Don’t make up Rooster’s mind for him. That’s just gonna piss him off.”

“Okay,” she breathed harshly. “Okay, I’ll do it. You’re right, I’m not getting any younger and I’m sick of being alone all the time,” she admitted. That had taken a lot, to tell someone out loud one of her secrets. She hated being alone and it felt like more often than not, now. That’s what she was.

“No reason to be when there’s a decent man wanting to share his life with you.”

She didn’t know what to say to that, she knew that was Liam giving his blessing. “Thank you.” She hugged him tightly.

“No big thing.” He shrugged as he went to exit the office. “Oh, you better look alive ’cause he starts work here today. We’ve got him helping out with some stuff we’ve got going on.”

Roni threw a glare at him. “I fucking hate you.”

“You love me.” He grinned as he walked out, slamming the door harder than he had to, knocking a picture off the wall.

Roni shook her head and walked over to pick the picture up. “Swear to God, sometimes he hasn’t grown up past thirteen.”

Rooster pulled into the lot at Walker’s Wheels nervous as hell. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been here when it wasn’t on official sheriff business. That was the weird part about being a former officer of the law, sometimes it was hard to differentiate. He’d known; however, when he turned his badge in that his time there was done. He couldn’t take it anymore. It had been wearing on him for too long. He’d also known that there would never be a shot for him and Roni if he hadn’t started being true to himself.

He’d hated wearing that badge after a while. He’d realized that the people who were sworn to uphold the law were a lot of times worse criminals than the people they were supposed to apprehend. He’d quickly grown disillusioned and wanted a change, but he’d had to bide his time. Liam hadn’t been ready to forgive and in all honesty, neither had he. It had taken them both a while to get there. It wasn’t something that had happened overnight either. If he was asked, he wouldn’t be able to tell anyone when it had actually happened, but he was glad it had. Parking the bike, he stored the helmet and took off for the garages, where he saw Liam and Tyler standing.

“Mornin’,” he called out to them.

“What’s up?” Tyler asked him, sticking out a hand.

Rooster had learned early on that the person’s good side he needed to get on was Tyler’s. Liam was the leader, but the younger men followed Tyler in a lot of things. They looked up to him in a lot of ways, and one of those ways was how to feel about outsiders and new people. It had taken a while for him and Tyler to come to terms with each other. Childhood best friend versus adult best friend was sometimes difficult, but they had managed to make it work.

“Excited.” He shook his shoulders out. “I’m excited to have some steady income.”

“Not much work for an ex-lawman, huh?” Tyler was definitely curious.

“There is, but it’s not the kind of shit you wanna be involved in, ya know? Nashville has a ton of security positions, along with some around here, but who the fuck wants to do that? Glorified cops with doughnut guts. I need to actually do something.”

“You’re in luck.” Liam clapped him on the back. “We have a shit ton for you to do here. We’ll keep ya busy.”