Secret Cravings (7 page)

“Yeah, but I can tell. You love him.”

He didn’t want to think about love or emotions. He felt something for Bryan, but putting a label on their relationship right now wasn’t worth the pain and heartache he’d get later if Bryan walked out. “Nichole, what’s really bothering you? You had a great time last night, right? You wanted to be here—or was I wrong about that?”

She huffed out a breath and squeezed her eyes shut. Luke waited, not sure if he wanted to push her to talk about this. Obviously Nichole had something that was bothering the heck out of her, but did he even want to try to help her fix her situation?

“Last month I was a part of a happy family. Charisa and Derek were the loves of my life. We all lived together in what I thought was bliss. Then things changed.”

“What things?” Luke asked.

“They started spending more time together without me about six months ago. In the beginning I thought nothing of it. I worked double duty most days because I’m saving for college. Then last month they admitted to loving each other exclusively.”

“Exclusively, as in you were kicked out?”

“Yeah, and I’d been with Charisa long before Derek stepped into the picture.”

“Any chance they’ll want you back after a few weeks? Maybe they’ll figure out they want you in their lives again.”

Nichole hiccupped in a huge sob. “No, Charisa is pregnant. They planned the whole thing. Derek said it would be sick for a child to be raised around that type of relationship.” Huge tears ran down her face.

Luke hopped up off the floor and sat in the chair, pulling Nichole into his lap. She curled up on him and cried herself to sleep. After the sun came up a noise sounded behind Luke, so he glanced over his shoulder. Bryan leaned up against the doorjamb, his cock at half-mast.

Lust and something a little stronger flowed through Luke. The ‘something more’ scared the shit out of him because he didn’t want to want Bryan, not like that. Nichole’s words kept needling his mind, pricking him over and over again, bringing out the pain of loneliness. He didn’t
have
Bryan, the way Nichole thought he did. They were fuck buddies and nothing more. Hell, they hadn’t even been fuck buddies until last night. Emotions weren’t part of his life and they couldn’t be right now. He liked Bryan but he’d been screwed too many times to let emotions play into his decisions.

He placed his fingers on his lips, telling Bryan to be quiet. Luke gathered Nichole up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He placed her on her side and pulled the covers up over her. She rolled into a little ball and slept on, as though he hadn’t moved her.

He shut the bedroom door and joined Bryan in the kitchen. “Make yourself at home. I have eggs for breakfast.”

“Sounds great.” For a moment they stared at each other, the tension thick.

“Really, grab something to eat. I’m sure you’re starving. I could make you something—”

Bryan held up his hand. “No, I’ll cook. I actually enjoy cooking but haven’t done much since I moved.”

“Well, the pans are under the stovetop and the plates and bowls are in the cabinet by the sink.”

Bryan nodded and opened the fridge. He stared at the food for a moment before he pulled out eggs and bell peppers. Already, Luke liked the man.

“The other night, that was the first time I’ve ever seen you at Silver Lace,” Luke said.

Bryan stopped cracking eggs into a bowl and glanced over his shoulder at Luke. A flash of pain flitted across Bryan’s face, then was covered by indifference.

“That’s because I’ve never been there.”

“That’s a shame. How come?” Luke asked.

Bryan started to cut the vegetables, but moved to the higher bar area, as if he realised how close the knife was to his cock. Luke thought Bryan had forgotten about his question, but then Bryan turned around to face him. The pain was back again, etched across his face, his eyes glassy with anger.

“I was in this relationship for the last few years. It ended recently, so I went out.”

“Did you find what you were looking for?” The question was loaded. Luke knew better than to ask if people liked him. He wished he could take the words back.

Bryan glanced away from Luke, sending an unwelcome chill down Luke’s back. That look said it all. Bryan didn’t need to answer. Just like always, Luke had never been more than a pretty thing to others. They didn’t appreciate anything deeper than his appearance.

“No, I found something different,” Bryan said, his gaze shifting back to Luke’s.

“What do you mean?” Luke held his breath. Did Bryan like something about him other than his beauty?

“I certainly wasn’t expecting to find a man. I gave that up in college. I was happy with my girlfriend. Very happy.”

“So you wanted to get fucked and you got fucked. Who cares if it was with a guy?”

Bryan spun back to the stovetop, turned the burner on and let it heat up. After using some oil, he dropped in the vegetables and let them simmer for a minute or so. He added the eggs next, stirring them around with a spoon, his shoulders stiff.

Luke waited for Bryan to answer, to prove his assumptions that no one would ever find him special right. Bryan had no idea who Luke was. But what if he’d been wrong about that and Bryan knew exactly who he was? Hell, Luke had been taken advantage of so often, he wouldn’t give a shit if this guy had taken him for a ride too.

Bryan grabbed two plates and served up the eggs. He placed both plates on the bar and handed a fork to Luke.

“I found more than I was looking for. I can’t explain it. I think I’m stupid for saying that, mainly because you’re a dude and I’m a dude, but hell, I don’t know what to do.”

Luke’s chest went tight. He took a bite of the eggs. Bryan had experienced the feeling too. He hadn’t been imagining the connection. His mind stalled at the possibilities.

“You’re not saying much,” Bryan said.

Luke took another bite of his eggs. “I’m stalling.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to jinx what we have.”

Bryan put down his fork and reached for Luke’s arm, but didn’t actually touch him. “What’s going on here?” Bryan asked, his voice laced with stress.

“I don’t know, but I like this. I like kissing you more than I should.” Luke leaned closer to Bryan, almost brushing his shoulder.

“How much should you like kissing me?”

Luke let his gaze travel down Bryan’s body to his cock. Neither of them had put on clothes, and now both of them had obvious boners. He remembered his conversation with Nichole only an hour ago. She’d voiced her concern about being a third wheel, and here he was thinking of fucking Bryan silly and forgetting all about her, but Bryan was too tempting to ignore. His body craved the man, and he just needed to get his rocks off—or, at least, that had been what he’d told himself.

He cringed. That was how other guys thought of him—only as a tool to get off with. He’d been a booty call too many times, but building a relationship took time and energy. Maybe treating Bryan like an ass was the smart thing to do.

Luke abandoned his food and pulled Bryan to the black leather couch. He pushed him down and stared at the man’s body. No, Bryan wasn’t a model, but he was super hot and his cock was just the size Luke liked.

“I want to fuck you silly, but since you’ve never done anal it would be wrong. But boy, do I ever want to.”

“I’m willing to try.”

Bryan looked so cute when he was trying to please Luke. “It wouldn’t be fair to you. We need to do some anal play first, and I want you too bad to be patient right now. Maybe later.” Luke cursed himself for being so considerate. He was supposed to be being an ass, but every time he looked at Bryan goose bumps travelled up his spine and emotion twisted his heart.

Bryan shivered below him. Luke kissed Bryan’s jaw line and worked down to his chest, then teased his nipples with his tongue. Bryan reached for Luke’s dick, but he leant back.

“Oh, no, we’re going to go slow with this.”

“You’re frustrating the hell out of me,” Bryan said.

“Good. I want you so hot when you stick your cock into my hole that you come almost automatically.”

Bryan growled and tried to flip Luke over, but Luke had the upper hand. He held him down and kissed Bryan over and over again. They rolled off the couch and onto the plush area rug. Bryan grabbed a condom off the glass coffee table and slid the latex on. He slathered his dick in lube, all the while keeping his gaze locked with Luke’s.

“How do you want me?” Bryan asked.

“This way.” Luke raised his legs, giving Bryan access to his ass.

Bryan hesitated, his eyes glassed over with desire and fright. He poked his dick at Luke but didn’t shove it in.

“Just give it a good push,” Luke growled.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

Luke threw back his head and laughed. No other guy had given a shit if he’d been hurt or not. At least Bryan cared.

“Babe, you’re too sweet. Sink in, I won’t get hurt.”

Bryan lined up again, this time slipping the tip of his cock into Luke’s ass. “Oh, shit. That’s tight.”

Luke pulled Bryan close, sandwiching his dick against Bryan’s stomach. The friction of Bryan’s belly against his cock brought him closer to orgasm. They gazed into each other’s eyes. Painful emotions filled Bryan’s face. Affection bounced between them, unspoken but still there.

At one point it seemed as if Bryan’s emotions were too close to the surface. The man must have been through one hell of a bad relationship. Luke wanted to soothe him and hold him until all the pain fled. This coupling seemed to be more than just fucking. Bryan would probably deny his feelings if Luke pressed, but something good had happened and it was scaring the crap out of him.

Bryan pumped into him, his teeth gritted. It was no surprise to Luke when Bryan blew his load less than a minute after they’d started. The guy had probably wanted this for years but had been too afraid to seek out a man. Luke reached between them and finished by stroking off as Bryan propped himself up on his elbows, almost collapsing on top of him. Thick emotions filled Luke and intertwined between him and Bryan. Their gazes connected and they stared at each other in awe as Luke let his hands skitter over Bryan’s body.

He should probably send Bryan on his way immediately. His emotions for this man were too much. He didn’t want to get hurt again, and Bryan had made him no promises. But with a masochistic streak that filled him, reminding him of his string of failed relationships, Luke wanted to see how far Bryan would take this before he bailed. Something between them yanked at his heart, leaving Luke desperate to have a connection with this man, even if Bryan dumped him after a few days.

Chapter Three

Nichole woke up in a strange bed, in a strange room. She sat straight up, then flopped back down onto the mattress once she remembered she’d spent the night at Luke’s. Her face heated as the memory of talking to Luke surfaced.
Oh, crap, I fucking told him everything.

She needed to search him out and tell him to forget her babbling. This wasn’t Charisa and Derek in the other room, and she shouldn’t have dumped her life story on this guy. Not Luke. Hell, he was famous and she was just another screw. She found a T-shirt in his closet and slipped it on. The hem went past her knees. Luke was tall.

Before searching for the guys, she looked through the bathroom for an extra toothbrush and took care of the business of cleaning up. With her hair brushed and her mouth minty fresh, she could approach Luke and spell out what she’d really meant. Putting a guilt trip on a guy this soon into a relationship wasn’t fair. Plus, did she even want to be in a relationship with him, with a guy? Fuck, she didn’t know, and it was all too complicated and too soon.

Nichole braced herself and opened the door, stepping out into the main room of the apartment. Laughter sounded in the kitchen, so she moved past the leather couch and around the side table.

From this angle she could observe the two men. Her heart stalled and her whole body went cold. Bryan was pressing his face into Luke’s back. Cum dripped down Luke’s hand onto the countertop. Both men appeared spent and totally into each other.

She wouldn’t do this again. She wouldn’t be the third wheel. Derek had considered her the outcast even though she’d been there first. She’d lost her home, her girlfriend and her lover. She couldn’t go through it again.

Before they caught sight of her she raced back to the bedroom and started pulling on her clothes. The door banged open behind her. Fear gripped her chest. Another angry brawl would be too much. Bryan and Luke could have the apartment to themselves and she wouldn’t make a stink about leaving.

“You’re up. I thought that was you in the den.” Luke came to her and wrapped his arms around her.

She stiffened and tears filled her eyes. This couldn’t be happening again. Bryan caught her gaze as he moved closer to them. The shock in his eyes frightened her. She pushed against Luke’s chest, knocking him away. He let go but didn’t move from her.

The need to run pulsed through her. Images of Charisa and Derek flitted through her mind—of the way they’d seemed so happy without her. They had smiled at each other, then told her she wasn’t wanted or needed there. They’d called her sick. Hello, she’d been in the relationship with them and that meant they’d been sick too.

“I can’t do this,” she whispered.

Luke held up his hands. “Please don’t leave.”

“You don’t need me.”

Bryan moved closer and dropped to his knees. The pain in his eyes made her back up a step. Wild emotions ran through her mind. She shook her head and put out her hand.

“No, I need to leave,” Nichole said.

“Wait, let me say this,” Bryan said.

Even though Bryan was kneeling on the floor, his eyes were at her breasts’ height. The desire to run her fingers through his hair scared the hell out of her. They didn’t want her. Their little fuck session in the kitchen had shown her that much.

Bryan raised his eyebrows. “Please?”

“Fine.” Even though he hadn’t had time to utter another word, she already regretted letting him talk.