Secrets (18 page)

Terrific! ' Terrific, all of you! ' one more time please' . They shot the scene three times, and on the last one he beamed. My God, you're good. That's a print. There was a cheer, and it was impossible to tell which of them they were cheering. Jane wanted to jump up and down and scream with excitement and in the distance she saw Zack, and she felt tears in her eyes. She wondered if she would ever get used to the excitement of the show. Even Sabina was pleased, and Gabby was beaming. It was good. It was better than good. It was great. And they all knew it instinctively.

It took another hour to light the next scene, and people from the office they had rented were crowded in at the edges, to watch the stars and try to see a little of the action too. But there was nothing to see now except lighting men and gaffers and grips, and lunch was called at exactly twelve thirty. They had to satisfy the unions and there was no point running into overtime that early. They all went back to their trailers for lunch. They only had an hour. And the afternoon flew by as they went through the next scene, and the call sheets were distributed for the following day. Mel appeared on the set in the afternoon, and he looked as pleased as they all felt. He left before they finished shooting, and Sabina went back to the Pierre alone in her limousine, and Zack left in another. He wanted to stop and see a friend before going back to the hotel, and Jane piled into the third one with Bill and Gabby.

Wow, I'm pooped. She was amazed at how exhausted she was, but at the same time she felt great. What did you guys think?

I think I need a lot more work, Gabrielle said humbly, and Bill looked at her, warming for the first time.

You were good. Very good. That scene with the three of you is a killer. Jane thought so too, and she smiled at him.

Thanks. You looked fantastic in that scene with Zack. They chatted about the day's takes, and glanced at the call sheets together. They were shooting six scenes the next day, three of them big ones, and they had the scripts to take back to their hotel rooms.

Want to work on it together tonight? Gabby looked at Bill hopefully, but he shook his head.

I work better alone. He sounded curt, and Gabby looked disappointed again.

I'll work with you, if you want. Jane offered to fill the gap, but they only had one scene together, and it was a small one.

Thanks. I always need help. Gabby seemed so anxious to do well, and Jane was anxious to help her. She seemed only slightly older than her own girls, although she knew that Gabby was ten years older than Alyssa, Jane's youngest child. But it was hard to believe. She looked like a little girl once she was back in her jeans and sneakers, with her shining black hair hanging in two pigtails. Bill didn't seem impressed with her, and he avoided her gaze on the drive back to the hotel, speaking mostly to Jane. And once back at the Carlyle, he seemed in a hurry to leave them and go upstairs. And Jane invited Gabby to her room later on, to order room service and rehearse.

I want to jump into a tub of hot water first, and just lie there.

Me too. Gabby smiled. Bill had disappeared with a handful of message slips, and the two women rode up in the elevator together, and it was only as they walked down the hall that Gabby turned to Jane with a discouraged sigh. Bill's so goddam unfriendly. He makes it really hard to work with him.

I know. He's probably just nervous.

So who isn't? Gabby shrugged. We all are. It's a big show, a big break for all of us, except Zachary and Sabina, who're probably used to it. But Christ, he doesn't have to snarl all the time. He acts like he has a burr up his ass. Jane laughed, and was reminded again of her daughters.

Give him time. We haven't gotten used to each other yet. Eventually we'll be one big family. That's how it was on my old show.

Gabrielle looked intrigued. Which one were you on again?

Our Secret Sorrows.

Gabrielle laughed. My grandmother was addicted to it.

Jane looked at her with a rueful smile. That was the trouble. They wanted a new look, and younger viewers. So they canned me.

Are you sorry now? Gabrielle was smiling at her. She liked her.

Hell, no. Jane threw out both hands philosophically. After all, all I lost was a part on soap, and my marriage.

Gabby's eyes grew wide. Are you serious? Over this?

It's a long story. I'll tell you about it, sometime.

When we have about ten hours to spare and a bottle of brandy in hand. The two women laughed and Gabrielle let herself into her room with a promise to rejoin Jane in a hour. It was a little like going to boarding school and staying up at night to work together on an assignment.

The two women met again later on, and chatted until midnight, although they knew they had to get up at four thirty. They completely forgot about the rest of the cast and concentrated on their lines. And as they were intent on their work, Bill was getting hysterical, calling his agent. He had tried to get through for hours and it was as though the better the show went, the guiltier he felt about Sandy. He finally got through to Harry, as he held a cigarette in trembling fingers.

How's it going?

Fine.

That's all? Fine? You're in the biggest show of your life, on location in New York with Sabina Quarles and Zachary Taylor, working for Mel Wechsler, and all you say is fine?

Wonderful then. Look, Harry, can you do me a favor? He was lying on his bed, his leather jacket still on, with a worried look. Thinking about her was driving him crazy. What if she died now and Wechsler found out they were married? He had realized since getting to New York that he had to get her to clean up now. He had to. He had even called her parents and they didn't know where she was, nor did her friends when he called them. Will you check around for me and see if you can find anything out about Sandy?

Harry was beginning to think Bill was obsessed with her, but he didn't understand the fear or the sense of obligation that drove him. Look, why don't you just forget her?

I can't. She's got to clean up. It wasn't even that he loved her anymore, but he couldn't just forget her.

Why don't you call the police? They probably know more than anyone else. He was being sarcastic and Bill looked angry, his blond good looks marred by his look of fear.

That's not funny.

It wasn't meant to be. You're a fool if you drag her back into your life now. And Mel isn't going to take kindly to it if he finds out you're married to a junkie. That was the whole point, at least if she cleaned up, he could quietly divorce her.

I didn't ask you to call my press agent, I just asked you to find her.

How? Go out with a dime bag and see if she wants it?

God damn it! Bill exploded, as he jumped to his feet with the phone in his hand. Don't push me, Harry.

All right ' all right ' I'll try. But for chrissake, Bill, settle down. You have a job to do there. A big one. How did today go, seriously?

It's all right, but to tell you the truth, Harry' He had to tell someone, he could hardly stand it anymore. I'm worried sick about Sandy. It distracted him constantly. The fear of scandal for himself, and just worrying about someone he had once loved that much.

I'll do what I can. But do me a favor. Just keep your mind on what you're doing. Harry had been hoping that he might develop an interest in the young actress he knew had been hired to be in the show opposite him, but there was no sign of that, and Harry was sorry to hear it. I'll call you if I hear anything. But Bill heard it first. Her mother called him, and it was on the news the same day. She had overdosed in a fleabag hotel on Sunset.

The paramedics arrived just in time, and there was some question of there being brain damage this time. But when Bill called the hospital, they wouldn't let him talk to Sandy. And two days later, after calling her a hundred times, he was told that she had checked out of the hospital. And her mother said she had disappeared, and no one knew where she was again. All they knew was that she was living with a dope dealer, somewhere in Inglewood, they thought, but no one was sure, and her parents had all but given up on her. She had failed to appear in court on the charges that had been brought against her in late August, and there were warrants out for her arrest. It was a nightmarish situation, and Bill didn't know what to do. There was damn little he could do from New York, and he was struggling to keep his mind on his work. The day after she'd been found, they had had to shoot his only scene eighteen times, and he thought he'd go crazy trying not to think of her.

Is there anything I can do to help? Jane asked gently as they rode uptown after work, but he only shook his head and averted his eyes so she wouldn't see all that he was feeling. But it was clear that something was wrong, and when he finally looked at her it was with the eyes of a tired old man.

No, but thanks. She was a decent woman, even though he didn't have much in common with her. She talked about her kids all the time. But it was Gabrielle who really drove him crazy. She was so fucking friendly and cheerful all the time, she was like a puppy dog. She wanted him to rehearse with her during every free minute they had, and he didn't want to see her. She reminded him too much of Sandy, and that just made things harder for him.

Even Mel noticed that he was gloomier than he had been when they arrived, but when they watched the dailies every night, his performances were flawless in spite of it.

He's good, the director admitted. And he'll be better when he calms down. He's wound up so tight he looks like he's going to explode most of the time. But he knows his stuff. The kid is a pro. It was what saved his ass, and made the others put up with his dark moods. And the only one he really snapped at was Gabby. But she had her own problems, not that she told anyone. Her mother was calling her five times a day, and begging her to spend Christmas with them.

Darling, give me one good reason. The voice that was pure Paris and Palm Beach and Newport, was more insistent each day, and Gabrielle fought to stay calm. She was tired of explaining it to her.

I'm working eighteen hours a day, Mother, and I have to get up at four thirty every day.

You have to eat. Why not eat here? In black tie, with two hundred of her parents' closest friends. It made perfect sense to Charlotte, but not to Gabrielle.

I eat in my room, and usually I rehearse with the cast. So far it was only Jane, but she was still hoping to rehearse with Bill in their spare time. She was convinced it would improve their performances.

That's not healthy, darling. You need to get out.

I told you. I'll come to Christmas dinner.

You've been here for three weeks, and we still haven't seen you. Now I'll expect you tomorrow night. They're all your old friends, and everyone's dying to see you. It was all bullshit, none of them gave a damn, and she knew it. They were all her parents' friends, and people that she hated. The biggest names in New York, the names one read in WWD and Town & Country, where the photographs showed their beautiful china and lovely crystal and tables set for casserole dinners of twenty in black tie and evening clothes. It was a life she had abhorred since she was a child, and she felt no differently now. If anything, she hated it more, and it was no longer her life. It was theirs. And these people had never been her friends. All she had ever been to them was Charlotte and Everett's daughter.

Mother, I really can't. And I don't have anything to wear. I left everything in California. It wasn't entirely true. There were evening dresses made for her by Fran+oois Brac that she could have borrowed. No one would have said anything. She knew that Sabina had already worn two or three of the evening gowns when she went out with Mel, and no one cared, as long as they were still in good shape for the shoot.

I'll have them send you something from Bendel's.

I don't want something from Bende+us. She spoke through clenched teeth. I don't want to come.

We'll expect you at seven thirty. Her mother hung up, and Gabrielle sat staring at the receiver in her hand.

Shit. She never changed. And now she expected Gabby to come to their fucking Christmas party. It was just her luck that she had to be on location in New York. It was like being a child again and being ordered around, just as she had been when she went to Saint Paul's, and even Yale. They just never accepted her growing up. Even now. Even now that she lived on the West Coast and had a career. It didn't mean anything to them. They just pretended it wasn't there, and that she wasn't an actress.

She was in a foul mood the next morning when she got up, and it was perfect for the scene she had to shoot with Bill. The script called for a massive argument between them, and it looked truly genuine as she shouted at him, and threw something at him. It couldn't possibly have been any better if they'd rehearsed it for weeks, and they were both pleased when they left the set, although he said nothing to her. She went back to her dressing room, and reluctantly selected a dress. It was a demure black velvet evening gown. She signed a slip and put it in a plastic bag, and she carried it home that night when she rode uptown with Jane in the limousine.

Going somewhere? Jane looked pleased with her. She was so damn nice to everyone, sometimes Gabby felt sorry for her. She seemed lonely in a way, and she looked as though she had a crush on Zack. And it was obvious he liked her, but not with any consuming passion.