Secrets in Battle: Secrets of Savannah Series Book 3 (15 page)

Chapter 28

How did I end up with someone like Judd caring about me? Sitting here in his lap on the hay bales
, I look up at him. “No, you’re perfect.”

He snorts. “I’m far from perfect. Hell
, I can’t even go to a Braves game without losing my shit.”

“Hey
, don’t talk about yourself that way.”

He nods. “Well, you don’t talk bad about yourself
, either.”

“You know, you look kinda sexy in this suit. I was thinking all kinds of naughty things while we were standing up front.”

I see his Adam’s apple move. He dips his head into my neck. “Well, I was thinking how beautiful you were.” He licks my neck. “And how I’d love nothing more than to rip this beautiful dress off you.”

“Oh, well I’m glad you didn’t. You know
, since there was a preacher there and all.”

He rolls us so that I’m lying back on the hay and he’s on top of me. He’s gently holding my hands above my head. He runs his hand up my thigh. “You are so damn sexy.” He leans down taking my mouth with his
. “God, I’ve missed you.”

I try to touch his face. He shakes his head. “Nope, keep your hands up here.” He holds my hands above my head.

I giggle. “Oh, so you did read the books.”

He takes one hand and pulls down my top
, revealing my breasts. Putting his mouth on my breast, he talks as he’s licking. “Did you ever doubt me?”

I shake my head.
“No.” Looking into his eyes, I ask. “Are you sure we’re ready?”

He nods. “Yes.”

He lets go of my hands and reaches under my dress, grabbing my panties and tearing them off. He bites my nipple a little roughly. “Oh!”

I reach for his shirt
, ripping the buttons open. He removes his hands just long enough to shrug out of his shirt and quickly undo his pants. He shoves his pants and briefs down, settling back in between my legs.

Pulling my nipple back into his mouth roughly
, I cry out again. My senses are on overload. I hear someone’s laughter outside. I stop. “Judd, someone could walk in.”

He looks down at me through a lust filled haze and nips at my collar bone. “I don’t care.” He thrusts into me without warning. “God, I’ve missed you. I’ve missed us.”

All thoughts of the person on the outside of the barn are gone. I’m so wrapped up in the passion of this moment. “Me, too.” That’s all I can manage to say.

He reaches back up
, placing my hands back above my head. “Tonight I’m in control. Leave your hands above your head.” He takes his hands away, grabbing at my hips.

He thrusts hard back into me.

“Oh, fuck. Judd, please. I need to come.”

He licks at my nipples as he thrusts into me. “You will, just be patient.”

“I can’t. I can’t.”

He looks down at me with total control. “Oh
, you can and you will. Don’t come until I say.”

He starts pounding into me harder. As always
, he has me stretched to what I feel is my limit. I feel his cock pulsating and I know he’s getting close.

With rapid movements he sits back on his heels, pulling me with him. He makes quick hard thrusts and from this angle it feels as if he may break me.

Suddenly, I’m down on my back again. “Now, Princess.”

As I come he pumps a final thrust into me
, coming himself. “I love you, Princess.”

I nod. “I love you
, too.”

~*~*~

Waking up in Judd’s bed this morning was just as fun filled as passing out in it last night was.

After having wild passionate sex in the barn, we made our way back to his apartment for a few more rounds. This morning
, I woke up with his head between my legs. After screaming his name, I smile at him. “You are very good at that.”

He smiles. “I can say the same thing about several of the things you do.”

I giggle. “Hmm. Thank you.” I roll over and he smacks me on the ass. “Ouch.”

He laughs. “We better get up and go see the newlyweds before they leave for their honeymoon.”

I laugh. “Yeah, Nana said she’s doing a big family breakfast for their send off.”

About that time my phone pings.

Scarlet: Get your skinny ass over here I leave soon and breakfast is ready.

Me: Wow I thought you should be bridezilla before the wedding not after.

Scarlet: Well this bride has a hangover. She is also ready to go start her honeymoon with all of the new toys she’s been keeping her new husband from breaking out this week.

Me: Alright keep your panties on we’ll be there in a second.

“We’d better get going. That was Scarlet, she’s ready to hit the road.”

He laughs as we get dressed. He pulls me in for a kiss. “Yeah
, I kinda worked up an appetite anyway.”

“Mmm. Me
, too.”

Chapter 29

Ryder and Scarlet have been on their honeymoon in the Keys for almost a week. Originally they were only supposed to be gone a week, but they’ve decided to stay an extra few days.

Annabelle and I have been spending a lot of time together. I’ve stayed with her in the main house most of the time. Her bed is bigger. What can I say? We needed room to play.

I think she’s stolen my dog
, though. Beau cuddles with her all the time. He still helps me, though, if I have a dream that wakes me up.

We have a few cows that are about to have calves
so I’ve been riding the fields each day checking on them. There are a couple that I need to get moved back closer to the main barn. I’m headed back there now to get what I need and see if Dad can help me. It’s really a two man job.

As I pull up to the barn
, I see an odd vehicle. I walk up to the doors of the barn and see a ghost from my past.

Princess sees me come in and smiles. “Hey
, Judd. Mack here says he’s been trying to get in touch with you for months. I told him I had no idea that you’d forgotten how to return phone calls.”

Mack looks over at me and grins. “I told her to give you a break. Phones can be complicated things for a guy like you.”

I shake my head. “Yeah, yeah. Whatever, smartass.”

Princess smiles. “Okay
, well you guys have some catching up to do. I’m going to go in and study for a little bit.”

I kiss her on the lips. “See you in a bit. Oh
, can you call my dad and ask him if he can help me gather a few pregnant cows this afternoon?”

She nods and heads back up to the main house.

I look at Mack. “You want a beer?” I say reaching into the barn fridge.

“Yeah
, man. That’d be good.”

I hand him a beer and he looks at me. “So
, Hughes. What gives?”

I shrug. “What do you mean?”

Suddenly he rolls his wheelchair my way. “I mean why in the hell are you avoiding me?”

I shake my head. “I’m sorry
, man. I really didn’t mean to. I’ve been having a rough time. I’ve been having some attacks and some dreams. I’m seeing a counselor and using a dog for PTSD.”

He nods. “I’ve done the same. I wanted to come and talk to you. My therapist asked me something one day and I had to come talk to you.” He looks down. “He asked me
if I held ill feelings toward you. He pushed. He asked if I blamed you for what happened since you were in NCOIC.” He shakes his head and I stop him.

“Mack
, it’s okay. I am to blame, I made that call that day. I live with it every night. I hear all of your screams. I smell the smell.”

He throws his beer to the ground. “Damn it
, Hughes! This is why I’m here. I came here to tell you, YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME! None of us were. We made the best decisions we could on the information and training we had. When you wouldn’t call me back, I knew you were blaming yourself because that’s the kind of guy you are. Judd, damn it, don’t blame yourself.”

“How can you not blame me? I made those calls.”

He shakes his head. “You never made those calls alone and you know that.”

I just stand there for a few minutes
letting his words sink in, until a relief washes over me. Once we pass over that hurdle, we talk and catch up on our lives.

After Mack leaves
, my dad comes to help me with the cows. I realize while I’m out working that Nana was right. She told me I’d know when it was time to tell Princess, and it’s time.

Once we finish up with the cows
, I make my way into the main house to talk to her. She smiles when I come in. She has supper fixed and it smells wonderful. I kiss her cheek. “Hey, Princess. What did you fix?”

“Oh
, just some spaghetti. That way I can take left overs in tomorrow. I’m so glad to be on day shift for a little while.”

“Oh
, yeah.” I pull her tight against me. “Well I am, too.”

She nervously looks back at the pot and starts to stir the bubbling sauce. “So how was your friend Mack?”

I nod. “He was great. He came to talk to me about some issues.” I place my hands on her shoulders. “I want to tell you what happened. But after we eat, I’m starving.”

She turns to me with tears in her eyes. “I’m so glad.”

We finish supper and make our way into the den to talk. Once we sit, I lean forward, placing my elbows on my knees. “I’ve never told anyone but Luca this story.” She nods.

I think back to that day.

“We had orders to go out on a patrol. It was to a nearby town. We were supposed to pick up a high profile Afghan official. He was going to do some informing, but we were supposed to make it look like a government snatch and grab, so his people were clued in. I was the NCOIC. Sorry. I was the Non-Commissioned officer in charge. Basically, the sergeant in charge. We pulled off the grab with preciseness. The route we were to take back out of the town had a wreck that was blocking traffic. I made the call not to investigate the normal route, for us to take the alternate route. Once we headed down the alternate route, a large truck pulled out in front of us blocking the street. Before we could back up, we were ambushed. Guns, grenades, you name it, they lobbed it at us. The official we’d been sent in for died. A few of my men died. Mack and two other guys lost limbs. A few of us were ate up with shrapnel. By the time help got there, I lost a couple of the shrapnel victims. I was hit in my lower back and legs. The doctors in Germany said a few more inches and I would have joined Mack with a wheelchair or bled to death.”

I stop and look at her. She’s crying and up until this moment
, I didn’t realize I was, too. “There are nights I dream about it. I’m still trying to help them. I can smell the burning flesh and gun powder when I wake up. I hear their screams. My heart aches and races like I’m still trying to tie off Mack’s legs to keep him from bleeding to death. I’ve blamed myself for a while. I made the call to take the alternate route. Today, Mack came to find me and make sure I wasn’t blaming myself and to let me know that he doesn’t blame me, either. I’ve avoided him the entire time I’ve been home because I was scared. I was scared that he hated me. Here I am, walking around and living a normal life. All the while, he’s in a wheelchair with his legs amputated from the knees down. I felt so guilty for so long. Seeing him today helped me let go of some of that. I’m praying this helps me move on just a little bit. Some days, I wake up and I see a stranger in the mirror. I’ve never had this pent up stress and all of these emotions before in my life. I was always in control and now I’m like a fucking ball of nerves. I just need you to understand what you’re getting yourself into.”

She smiles. “Thank you for telling me. I’m not going to push you. I just want you to know
that whenever you need to get something off of your chest, I’m here. I love you, just like you are, and I hope I never come that close to losing you again.”

I pull her into my lap and wrap her up in a hug. I kiss her hard. “I love you
, too.”