Seducing the Highlander (27 page)

She attempted to give him an icy stare, but instead joined him in his mirth. “Fine. I know nothing. And that includes how to get on top of this monstrosity without someone shoving my behind up in a most humiliating manner.”

Hamish grinned, once again reminded just how special a woman Meriel was. There were not very many in the world—male or female—who could laugh at themselves. “Before we get to that, let’s discuss your fear of horses,” he said, nodding toward her death grip on Merry’s reins.

“I’m not afraid
of
horses. Only riding them.”

Hamish was unconvinced. “Were you ever scared of the dark?”

“Of course. All children are.”

“Not me,” Hamish said with a shrug, “but my brother was. He was terrified until he was older. He knew it was irrational, and yet he refused to be in a room, even if he was asleep, unless he knew a candle was burning. One day, no one knows how, the candle caught the table on fire. Luckily, my brother awoke in time and doused it, but my father was still furious. Knowing that a burning candle was never going to be permitted again while he was sleeping, my brother and I sat down and talked. Soon after, he overcame his fears and it was like he had never been afraid of the dark.”

“Hamish, whatever special words you used with your brother to overcome his anxiety are not going to relieve me of mine when it comes to this large animal. His fears were irrational. Mine are not.”

“Fears, irrational or not, are real to those who have them, and therefore powerful. But you can decide how much control they have over you. You reduce their power not by avoiding them but by identifying exactly what you are afraid of, and then, believe it or not, talking about it.”

When Hamish first started to speak, Meriel had instinctively begun to withdraw, believing he too would tell her that all she had to do was face her fear—which was in her case a massive animal with enormous power. She was prepared to remind him that she
had
faced her fear, more than once, by traveling to and from her home, and it had changed nothing. But Hamish’s suggestion was far from what she had expected. Did he really just want her to talk? “I’m not sure what you want me to say. Horses scare me. They always have.”

The wind caught a piece of her hair and, unthinking, Hamish caught it and tucked it behind her ear. “When was the first time you rode a horse?”

“I never rode them. Until I was older, I always refused. Raelynd eventually goaded me into trying a few times, but until last year, when I first came here, I had never stayed on top of one for any length of time.”

Hamish nodded, finally beginning to understand. “So you don’t have a fear of riding at all. Horses, themselves, scare you. That explains why you didn’t even really want to hold Merry’s reins. Was there ever a horse you would get close to?”

Meriel cocked her head and said, “One. When I was little, Raelynd and I would sneak down to where they would train and break young colts. There was this spirited filly. I thought she was so pretty for she had white spots that looked like stars all around her head and ears. I would sneak down and feed her and she was always so sweet to me that I thought we had a special relationship. Then one day I went to watch them try to break her. Something went wrong and she went wild, stomping on the trainer until he was dead. I learned later that they found something under the saddle that had caused her reaction, but by then I had seen the truth. Horses, even nice ones, are powerful and have the ability to kill.”

“You are right. And that is my first lesson.”

“That horses can kill you?” Meriel asked incredulously.

“Aye. No one should ever do battle with a horse. These large animals know everything—your weak points as well as your strong ones. They sense fear and
that
is what makes
them
fearful in return, believing that they might have to defend themselves. When you are confident, they are. So lesson one for you is to build your confidence in Merry and her trust in you. Here,” he said, handing her some carrots from the bag that hung from his saddle. “Feed Merry.”

Meriel did so, and when Merry nudged her hand for more was immediately flooded with memories of doing the same thing as a child.

Next, Hamish had her walking Merry around the field, telling the horse what had happened to her as a child and asking the animal to promise never to hurt her. It felt silly, but Meriel also sensed the horse understood what she was saying. Afterward, she was surprised that standing beside Merry was no longer quite as intimidating.

“Next comes mounting the horse. Standing on the left side, turn the stirrup toward you. Now, holding the reins with your left hand and the saddle in your right, put your left foot into the stirrup, bounce a couple of times, and then swing your right leg over Merry’s back.”

On the third try, Meriel finally got enough spring to get her leg up and over. Hamish was about to mention that one should slowly sit down in the saddle, not slam into it, but kept silent when he saw the pure elation on her face. “Let me guess—this is the first time you have ever gotten on a horse by yourself.”

“Aye,” she said, beaming at him. “Can you believe it? I cannot! Teach me more, Hamish! I actually think I might be able to learn how to ride a horse!”

“Next is about balance. Let go.” Her face went slack. They both knew she had demonstrated her lack of balance practically the whole trip from her home to the McTiernays. Holding on to nothing would lead to disaster.

Ignoring her growing doubt, Hamish began to lead Merry around. “Let go,” he repeated. “Don’t try to ride Merry, just feel her and move with her as she rocks you side to side. Look forward, not down, and when you feel like you might fall, hold on to her mane and right yourself again.”

Meriel felt herself grabbing Merry’s mane often, but as she became used to the sensation, she relaxed and realized that her being so tense was contributing enormously to her struggle to maintain her balance.

“Now, I’ve been leading Merry, but she is a trained horse and will respond to your commands. To make her move forward, squeeze her with your calves, keeping the reins loose. Remember to rock with her to keep your balance.”

“What if I want her to stop?”

“Then use the reins. Don’t yank them, merely apply pressure. Try it.”

Nervous, Meriel swallowed, but when Hamish let go, she gave Merry a nudge and the horse moved forward. In the past, she had kicked Merry to get her to move, which had always worked, but abruptly. Now Merry began to walk and Meriel did not feel the need to grab on to something.

“Now, make her stop.” Meriel gave a slight tug to the reins and Merry immediately responded. “Now, do it again,” Hamish instructed as he went to mount his own horse to join her.

They circled the field several times. With her growing ease at dealing with her horse, Hamish decided to see if Meriel would be comfortable with more. He never really believed they would get this far today, but then he had not realized that it was not inability but sheer fear keeping her from being able to ride.

They stopped and he jumped down to make sure that the girth on her saddle was still tight. “Now, riding at this pace will take too much time to get anywhere.”

Meriel laughed in delight at her new skill. “I knew this was too easy. If we had traveled this slowly from Caireoch, I doubt I would have had an issue.”

“Ha! We barely managed get beyond a trot, but I promise you that by the end of today’s lesson, you
will
be able to keep pace with Craig as you ride home!”

Enjoying the gentle sparring as much as he did, Meriel stretched forward to pet Merry’s mane and teased him back. “Aye, Master Hamish. I shall be a dutiful student and learn under your humbling tutelage.”

Hamish felt himself warm with pride. Pure happiness was sparkling in Meriel’s eyes, and it was because of him. He had made her smile. He had made her laugh, and in doing so he had never felt so much like a man. “Now, to move faster, all you have to do is squeeze your legs just a little more than you did for a walk.”

Feeling much more confident, Meriel did as instructed, or at least thought she had. But at the last moment, Merry lurched forward. Alarm shot through Meriel as she realized that she had done something seriously wrong. Instinctively, she stiffened and pulled on Merry’s mane as the horse bolted away toward the loch.

“Make her stop!” she screamed in terror, as if Hamish could magically order the horse to halt from what was rapidly becoming a distant spot. Soon the grass would thin and be interspersed with rocks. Meriel was about to throw herself off in a panic when she heard him shout, “The reins! Remember the reins!”

Immediately, Meriel yanked them as hard as she could. A second later, she was in the air. Her last thought before she hit the ground was that she should have jumped when she had the chance. Her back met the earth and the pain of the collision was at first startling but nothing compared to the terror of not being able to breathe.

The moment Hamish saw Merry rear up, launching Meriel into the air, sheer black fright had swept through him. Vaulting onto his mount’s back, he urged the horse into a gallop. Her limp body sent a new wave of terror through him and Hamish bellowed, “No!” as he launched himself to her side.

Pulling her into his arms, her chest began to move again and he could see her visible fear turn into relief. He knew then what had happened. The fall had knocked the wind out of her. “Don’t touch me,” Meriel protested.

Hamish laid her back down and began to check her for broken bones. “Are you hurt anywhere?”

“I hurt everywhere, you
stràiceil amadan
. And I think you should know that I have decided to never listen to any man ever again.”

Hearing her attempt at humor, Hamish’s own heart began to beat again. He closed his eyes and gathered her tight in his arms. She was right. He was an arrogant simpleton. He was also an incredibly thankful man that she had not been seriously injured.

Opening his eyes, he looked down and saw her studying him. She was so beautiful, and for the moment she was all his. Suddenly, Hamish wanted her more than he had ever thought it possible to want any woman. Putting his free hand to her cheek, he held her face and then drew her startled lips to his, silently urging her to comply. Slowly, he moved his hand from her cheek to the back of her neck. Had skin ever felt so soft? So luxurious? Part of him knew he should end the gentle kiss, but he could not bring himself to do so while she did not resist.

Hamish continued to brush his mouth tenderly across hers, taking his time, determined not to scare her. He felt her shiver, but she still did not pull away. His fingertips soothed her back in the gentlest of touches, afraid that at any moment her small hands on his chest might shove him away. But they did not. Instead, their warmth burned through the material of his leine and into his skin.

What had begun as an urge to satisfy a secret longing was quickly growing into primal desire. Part of Hamish longed to ravage her mouth and taste what he knew would be unforgettable sweetness. But he knew if he did that, there would be no stopping him.

When at last his lips released hers, Meriel’s chest heaved with the effort it took to breathe. While she had not intended to kiss Hamish, when his lips locked with hers, instinct and curiosity had compelled her to let him continue. Her last conversation with Craig had given her pause to wonder whether the intense passion and need she felt with him resulted from their close friendship and therefore could be experienced with any close friend. But if such desire could be found with someone other than Craig, Meriel knew almost instantly that it would not be with Hamish.

The embrace had been sweet, enjoyable, and prior to kissing Craig, she might have believed it to be one of the better kisses she had ever received. But it did not make her heart pound or her pulse race even half as much as the small peck on the cheek she had given Craig earlier that day.

“Marry me,” Hamish whispered, stroking her cheek.

Startled, Meriel shook her head and stammered, “W-w-what did you say?”

“I asked you to marry me. After that kiss, you cannot deny we are compatible physically, and I think the past few weeks have proved that we could be really happy together.”

Meriel wiggled to get enough room to sit upright. “Hamish, I don’t know what to say.”

“Say that you could love me, for I believe I have fallen in love with you.”

Meriel shifted so that there was now slightly more distance between them. “Hamish, I already do love you in many ways. You are one of the best men I have ever known. I love your heart, your outlook on life, your fierce loyalty, your ability to see the true person within, without judgment. And while we are and will always be good friends, we would never make each other happy if we married.”

Hearing those words, Hamish leaned back and took a deep breath. Exhaling, he removed his ponytail and raked a hand through his auburn hair. “I really misjudged things, didn’t I? I seem to be doing that a lot lately.”

Meriel reached forward and cupped his face in her hands. “Don’t say that,” she said emphatically before dropping her hands to her lap. “You and I would perhaps get along too well. And while some couples need calm and serenity to make a marriage work, it would doom any relationship you and I were in. We may seem like carefree and agreeable people, you and I, but to be happy, we need to be with someone who ignites a flaming passion within us. You, even more so.”

“I could argue with you, but it would not change anything. You love Craig and that fool does not deserve you.”

Meriel smiled and shook her head. “No, he does not. But you do deserve much, much more than me. Someday you are going to fall in love, and when it happens you will understand why I cannot make you truly happy. She will make your heart leap and at the same time frustrate you to the point of insanity. She will push you, excite you, and in all ways be your equal. Wait for her.”