Seductive Secrecy (Shadows series) (32 page)

“Well, whatever you said, it seemed to have worked. I know it’s
early and we have a lot of repairs to make, but we’re willing to do
it.”

“You guys need to be together.” His tone was flat and
unaffected.

My palms were covered in sweat. I rubbed them on my jeans and crossed my legs underneath me. “So about us…”

“I know, Charlie…I know.” He picked up the remote and muted the TV. “And I know you feel the need to say something significant about it, something that wraps things up and makes us both feel better about everything. But you don’t have to. I know you love him and I know you would never hurt him, especially with me. If it ever
came down to it, I don’t think I could have done it either.” He
dragged on his beer. “I told him, though. I told him everything.
There are no secrets between the three of us anymore.”

I was so relieved to hear that. “Good. I don’t want there to be.”

“I want you guys to be happy. You both deserve that and I need to find it, too. Staying here, though…it’s just too much, you know?” His pain was just as real as mine had been, and Cameron’s.

“I know.”

And I did. As much as we both probably wanted to forget our time together at the mansion, I didn’t think we ever would. Living in the same apartment, we’d be reminded of those memories every day and it would be impossible for both of us to move on regardless of how much we’d gotten over our feelings for each other.

“I’m sure it’s going to take some time, but I really want us to be friends, Ryder.”

I’d never have a Dallas type of relationship with him, and honestly I didn’t want that. I just wanted us to be able to hang out together without any hidden tension.

“I want that, too,” he said. “And I know Cameron does as well.”

I smiled and stood to return to the studio. “I’m glad.”

I was walking away when he spoke again. “Can I ask for a favor,
Charlie?”

I paused. “Of course you can.”

He tried to smile, but it didn’t really take. “When I move into my new place, will you paint a piece for me…something I can hang in my living room?”

I nodded. “I’d be honored to.”

“I’ll pay you whatever you want for it.”

“Don’t be silly, Ryder. It’ll be a gift.”

“I can’t ask you to do that.”

I smiled as warmly as I could. “You didn’t. I insist.” I thought I saw some of his sadness pass. “Maybe we can work together and come up with something that you really want?”

His face softened. “I would love that.”

There was no sense of passion lingering between us anymore, like what I’d felt before I had moved out. Now I felt a kinship instead. It was a completely new feeling for us both.

I went back across the hall to the studio. Cameron looked up from his easel when I came in. “How did it go?” he asked.

I walked directly to him, wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my face on his chest. He was shirtless; the softness of his skin soothed my cheek. His smell awakened me. “It went really well. I think there’s potential for a friendship there. I just think it’s going to take some time.”

His hands rested on the middle of my back, rubbing up all the way to my neck, then down to my butt. “Some people might think I’m crazy for wanting this, but I really do. You two are the most important people in my life. It would feel wrong to keep you apart,
or if you couldn’t get along because of everything that’s
happened… because of everything that I caused. I know it almost ruined us, but maybe it could strengthen us, too.” I tilted my head, looking up into the crystal clarity that stared back at me. The only thing cold about him was the blue of his eyes. Everything else about Cameron spoke of his warmth. “Do
you
think I’m crazy?”

“No,” I said as I shook my head. “I think you’re wonderful.”

AS THE DAYS PASSED,
it seemed like the only things I was aware of were Cameron and my art; it was an intense blending, equal amounts of both. Nothing else seemed to exist around me. It was the only way I wanted it, the only way that felt right. We still had so much time to make up for. It only took us admitting that we loved each other for me to get back to that place again. My clothes would be stripped off my body, wetness would gather between my legs and I’d be begging for that friction, for that fullness, a totality of sensation that only he could give me. It didn’t matter how raw and sore I felt from all the penetration. The pain was trumped by the happiness every time.

My art came with the same intensity. Once I pressed my brush against a new canvas, I had a difficult time shutting off. I barely allowed time for the base coats to dry before I started adding detail and texture and character. I became accustomed to moving on to a new piece while I waited. The new clients I had met with had very specific requests, and I was happy to be able to complete their work rather quickly. For the two who wanted duplicates, I had their pieces finished within a couple days. Copying what I’d already done was much easier than creating original works. But I loved revisiting my older images.

The one piece I’d really troubled over, the one I’d spent hours
analyzing and perfecting, was
The City
…a canvas I’d made for
Dallas. It was different from anything else I’d ever painted. I’d used true blue with just a dab of white to lighten and created a face that was mostly hidden behind a set of hands. The fingers started at the chin and spread toward the forehead, revealing only a thin nose and a pair of berry-red lips. The skyline of Boston was painted on the fingers.

I was very proud of this one.

Finding the inspiration to create for him was easy; he was my best friend and I truly understood him. And even more, I knew he truly understood me, too. What Dallas had showed me during our time together was that I couldn’t hide from who I really was, and that I was deserving of what I wanted. No matter what I tried to mask, I still had a presence underneath that was all me. I needed to allow that image to breathe, to exist in the world without hiding behind anything. The painting was my thank you for all he’d done—not just for me and Cameron, but for Lilly, too.

He wasn’t home when I went to deliver the piece to him.
Something told me he was with the girl he had been spending time with lately. He hadn’t mentioned her by name yet; he’d said only that their relationship was very new and he wasn’t sure yet if it felt right. But I
knew it did. I could hear it in his voice when we spoke on the phone, and in the way he’d toasted love on the night he fixed things between Cameron and me. I let myself in with the key I hadn’t yet
returned, and I hung the canvas on the bare wall above his couch. I left him a note on his kitchen counter, telling him to call me when he got home.

I chose to walk when I left his place instead of taking the train. Cameron wouldn’t be home; he had a meeting. There was no rush for me to get back. I wanted the city air to fill me, the haziness of the afternoon sun to cast over my skin.

I wanted to reveal my presence.

The feeling that had entered my body when Cameron told me he
loved me hadn’t waned at all. It had strengthened instead.
Something inside of me had changed because of it. For months I had feared that I would meet one of those masked strangers on the street, their features too fresh for me to ignore. I no longer had that concern. It wasn’t because I felt as if I were invincible; I knew anything could
happen to me, at any time. Evil and corruption thrived in these
streets, not just in a secret mansion where everyone within wore masks. I still knew all of this; I just didn’t let it consume me anymore. The initial shock was over, and the worst of all possible connections had already been made. And Cameron and I had come out of it intact.

It was liberating to let the worry fall away, to leave it in a place where I would never pick it up again. I knew Cameron would be able to feel the change as soon as he touched me. I felt like others
were noticing it, too: the men waiting in line with me at the coffee
shop, the woman who took my order. The way their eyes roamed my face, my body, their expression when I spoke; I wasn’t being treated as though I were in a shadow. I was being noticed and admired…and after having my picture appear in the paper at Jameson’s opening, I was possibly being recognized.

But this kind of recognition I was okay with.

My confidence was quiet. My sensuality was on standby for
whenever I needed to tap into it. But the anxiety and fear were
completely gone. And in their place was a smile—an honest, genuine grin that flickered in my eyes and carried into my entire being.

Once the coffee was handed to me, I tossed the receipt into my purse and I moved back outside. My phone rang immediately. Cameron’s name appeared on the screen.

“I thought you were in a meeting,” I said.

“And I thought
you
were going to be with Dallas this afternoon… but it sounds like you’re outside somewhere instead.”

“I am.” I stood at the crosswalk, waiting for the signal to turn. “He wasn’t home, so I hung the painting and grabbed a coffee. I’m walking home now.”

“You’re walking?”

I laughed, remembering that I had said the same thing to him in
the early hours of the morning when he had carried me out of
Dallas’s apartment. “I need the air.”

“I’m surprised you’re not too sore to walk. I haven’t been…easy on you.”

It was a warm afternoon, but that wasn’t the reason my skin
suddenly flushed. I was still so insatiable when it came to him,
regardless of how much time he’d spent inside me.

“I am sore,” I confirmed. “But you make me want to hurt even more.”

“Where are you?” he asked.

I gave him the crossroads.

“Look behind you,” he said. “Do you see the nail salon?”

I turned around, looking for the shop he mentioned. It was no more than a block away. “Yes.”

“Do you see the black limo that’s right in front of it, stuck in the line of traffic, waiting for the light to turn green?”

 It was hard to miss. I didn’t pay attention to limos anymore, but they still stood out to me.

“I see it.”

“Walk to it, baby.”

I retraced the steps I had taken just moments before, crossing the side street and stopping in front of the limo. Before I could wonder
what he’d come up with this time, he opened the door from the
inside.

“Get in,” he said, smiling as he straightened his back in the seat. “I’ve missed you.”

I climbed in next to him, pressing my lips against his before closing the door. “What are you doing here?”

“I have something planned for us tonight. I thought I’d pick you up at Dallas’s. We don’t have much time before it starts and you need to get ready.”

My eyebrow arched. “And what are we getting ready for?”

His teeth bit down into his lip the same way mine did when I was waiting for one of his answers. I had a feeling it meant that he
didn’t intend on giving me one. “We’re going home first. Your
evening will start from there.”

This was the second time Cameron had planned an evening for us. I remembered how much I had enjoyed the first one. We certainly weren’t a dinner and movies type of couple; there was always a bit of mystery to his plans, a touch of intrigue. I loved that about us.

The partition between the back and front seat was closed. I knew from experience that the driver couldn’t hear anything we were doing unless the glass was rolled down. So I pulled my legs up onto the seat, rose to my knees and I stuck my ass in the air while I began to kiss his neck.

“You’re making it impossible for me to wait,” he said, his hands reaching into my hair and tugging on my strands.

“Then don’t.” I moved to his throat, my hands to his thighs,
inching their way closer to the bulge that was growing for me…and quickly.

“Nothing is going inside of you until later,” he groaned

“Mmm,” I moaned. “Are you sure about that?”

My mouth clamped shut as his hands gripped my ass, lifting me
and swinging my legs so my whole body was flat on the seat.
“However…that doesn’t mean I can’t lick you.” He unclasped the hook at the top of my shorts and pulled them off. I was now wearing just a thin pair of lace panties, my tank top and high wedges. His face dove between my legs, shifting the fabric to the side. “I could live here, and smell nothing but your sweetness for the rest of my life.” His nose had pressed into my folds, but his tongue had swiftly replaced it, feverishly lapping my sensitivity.

I spread my thighs even wider as the intensity of his movements began to build. It mixed with the titillating vibration of the limo, along with the thrill of every pedestrian who walked by the window, threatening to witness my pleasure through the tinted glass. In response, the surge almost came to a swell. I reached for the top of his head, but he stopped me. He shackled my hands with his own and held them down on the leather. He gripped with such force. It only added to the exhilaration that was spreading throughout me.

He kept his promise and didn’t allow anything to enter me. But I didn’t need the penetration to have an orgasm. Cameron’s tongue
was more than enough. It flicked in vertical lines…and then he
pulled me into his mouth and sucked. He alternated between the two. My hips moved to the steady rhythm; my toes pushed against the door and my hands drove into the seat until his lapping sent my whole body into spasms.

“I love watching you come,” he said as I began to relax, his lips
hovering just a few inches above me. I could feel his breath as he
spoke. My wetness shone all over his mouth and his chin. He licked it off.

I leaned into his lap and reached for the buckle on his pants. He had released my hands, but he moved right back to them.

“We’re almost home,” he said.