See How She Awakens (14 page)

“Don’t let it back in,”  I pleaded as the world around me grew black.  Exhaustion fell heavy on me as the burden of what I carried settled into my bones.  I wanted to sleep.  To rest until I was strong enough to purge myself of the darkness completely. 

“What is going on?” Ian’s voice asked from somewhere in the distance.

“She absorbed the darkness within you into herself.” Aberto’s voice hedged on anger as he scooped my body up. I wondered how I could hear everything but not really be there. I wasn’t in the dreaming, but I wasn’t on that plane either. 

“But why?”

“Guardian, how can you even ask that?” Aberto didn’t suffer foolishness, and Ian was being unaccountably dense.

“I want to know why she would do that, take more darkness into herself when she can’t control what is already within her.” Ian’s voice came out shaky.

“She did it to keep you from becoming what she foresaw.  She cares more for the wellbeing of those she loves than she does for herself.  As you already know this, what you seek is forgiveness.  That is not mine to give.  You have been self-serving in your desires, perhaps the darkness found its way in because of that.  I care not for the specifics.  I care only for her safety.  Thus, if you succumb to the darkness once more, I will not allow her to take it from you. Be stronger, deserve what she did for you.”

“Where are you going? You only just brought her back!” Mona’s voice echoed.

“She does not yet know how to repress the darkness fully. Much work must be done before she can put an end to the darkness. I brought her because she felt compelled to show Ian, to save him from what he could become. I will not let her linger here where she is at risk of absorbing the rest of the darkness from each of you. Cleanse yourselves. We will return when the time is made known.” Aberto’s voice boomed as he pulled us through the dreaming. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind he was right, but I wanted to stay. To be around the people I loved the most in the world.

Floating, the world pulsed around me. The only thing audible was my own heartbeat in my ears. Memories suffused me as we traversed the dreaming, I lingered somewhere between consciousness and sleep, never really staying in either. My veins felt as though they were on fire as the darkness expanded within me. I’d done the right thing by helping Ian, I knew I had. If I’d waited, I would’ve been too late.

The movement stopped. With a deep sigh, Aberto lowered my body onto the bed. I knew the feeling well, we were back in the desert.

“Gods give me the strength to save her.” Aberto’s plea felt so broken. He’d always been a pillar for strength, and yet fear for my safety had brought him down hard. I wanted to comfort him; to tell him all would be well. If only it weren’t so hard to stay awake.

Resist me no more. If you submit the pain will end.

As the words echoed through my mind, excruciating pain ripped through me. Every bit of me ignited from within as the darkness grew stronger. Reveling in its power over me, it pushed harder than it ever had before.

I was stronger than the darkness. I had a reason to stay, to fight. I couldn’t forget that. The vision of Ian haunted my mind. If I didn’t gain control over the darkness soon, I would be stuck here, unable to help anyone. I knew I wouldn’t be able to absorb the darkness from all that were affected, but I had to find some way to help.

“Izzy?” Aberto moved closer as I struggled to regain control of my soul, of my very being. I would not lose this war.

“It has grown stronger.” My voice came out a broken decree. 

“Gods give you the strength to fight.” Aberto’s hand brushed the sweat dampened hair from my face. I wanted to curl into the safety of him. Aberto would never let harm come to me, but I knew this was one battle he could not fight for me. I had to do this on my own.

“I think they have forsaken me.” My eyes felt glued shut as I struggled to open them. The darkness was still pulling me under.

“You would not still live if the gods had forsaken you. You will fight, and you will win.” His voice wavered at the end. He and I both knew there was no certainty. I’d barely been able to contain it before I’d absorbed more. 

“This has to end. I have to find a way to stop this from overpowering me.”  The fire burned within my veins. Every attempt I made to regain consciousness, to take power over myself, was met with resistance.

“You will.” Aberto’s voice reassured me as he whispered old words in my ear.  Words my soul recognized, even if my ears did not.  “Rest.”

Darkness embraced me.  The pain was no more and the dreaming was a far off memory.  I was nowhere with nothing that could touch me.  Time seemed to slip away as I floated.  But the peace would not last.  Memories began to surface.  A parade of images played out before me as though I were watching a movie of my life. 

My mother was a mere arm
’
s length away. I could reach out and touch her. But this was no memory of my own, this was something entirely different.

“
She is the Seer. Keeping this from her will do her no good,
”
Mona scolded, appearing just feet from where I floated.

“
I will give her a life that belongs to her for as long as she can have it. No good will come of her knowing her entire life will be filled with loss and misery.
”
My mother
’
s face was covered with the stains of her tears. The desperation in her eyes belying her heart breaking within.

“
What of her future? Should she not be prepared for the insurmountable tasks ahead of her?
”
Mona pushed at my mother, never relenting.

“
If I do not hide her, take her away, do you think the darkness will ever allow her to live, to be able to do what has been asked of her?
”
 
Anger began to replace heartbreak as she stood taller, facing off with her sister.

“
Fair point. But she will find out, and when she does, she will resent the lies. What good will she be when the doubt has been seeded within her. You take a dangerous chance sister, allowing the darkness a way in. She will doubt our kind, never fully trusting us.
”

“
She will be strong enough to know the difference.
”
My mother promised looking down at a bundle in her arms I hadn
’
t noticed it before. 

“
I pray you are right.
”
Mona faded taking the remnants of the memory with her. 

The inky black once more suffused everything surrounding me. My aunt’s words echoed in my mind. I had been questioning everything. The darkness knew my weakness and had used it to warp how I perceived everything. I’d long ago accepted that what my mother had done, she’d done to protect me. It didn’t make it easier, knowing my whole life was lived under false pretenses, but it did help me to understand. 

I’d found an answer in their words. Perhaps that is what Aberto wanted of me. I still didn’t understand where I was, or what he’d done, but I felt less burdened. The darkness couldn’t reach me here. But that peace would not last, it never did.

“
Are you sure it is her?
”
Kennan
’
s voice pulled my attention to him standing off in the distance. He looked so real, so whole. The memory twisted in me like a red hot knife. He was gone. This was cruel.

“
Guardian, since the dawn of time I
’
ve known it is her.
”
Aberto walked into the frame, standing a head taller than Kennan. 
“
She has a destiny to fulfill, and you are holding her back from it.
”

“
How can you expect me to thrust her into a life of loss, of pain, if I can protect her from it?
”
Kennan
’
s words dripped with malice. He held no love for Aberto, it was something I
’
d known for a long time. That hate was ancient, borne of what Kennan felt to be betrayal upon the death of Cait.

“
Would you deny her the destiny of her making? Would you let the world fall into insurmountable darkness to protect one being? You swore an oath, Guardian.
”
Aberto
’
s voice was even, unfeeling. I hated when he used that tone.

“
I would,
”
Kennan swore. Those two words struck me. Memories of our arguments back at the Council, every fight leading up to the battle played out in my mind. He
’
d done everything in his power to keep me from harm, to change my mind, but it hadn
’
t been enough. I
’
d still flung myself headfirst into danger, into my destiny. I
’
d never be able to let the world perish for him. Perhaps that meant he loved me more, but I would never be able to survive knowing I
’
d done nothing to save the people that mattered the most.

“
You do not deserve her love if you are not willing to allow her to be what she is meant to become. When the time comes, you must let her go, Guardian.
”
Aberto
’
s eyes saddened briefly as he looked into Kennan
’
s eyes.

“
I don
’
t know that I can.
”

“
Then your selfishness will bring destruction upon this world.
”
Aberto faded away taking Kennan with him.

Ultimately, Kennan hadn’t been able to keep me from fulfilling the prophecy. No matter how hard he’d tried, he could not sway my decision. Destiny was a bitch that way, always pulling you in the direction that was meant to be. Sometimes I felt like every step I took, even those I’d taken leading away from my destiny, led me right back to the path that had been laid out before I’d ever taken my first breath.

I wanted the parade to end. Seeing Kennan had ripped open the wound once more. The gaping hole hadn’t begun to truly heal yet, and was once more left raw by the memories. Like everything with destiny, it was never easy.

“
Izzy, we need you. You are the only one that can stop this.
”
Molly moved toward me. She looked as she had when we
’
d put her in stasis. This wasn
’
t a memory. This felt decidedly different.

“
Molly?
”
I called out.

“
Izzy, don
’
t give up on yourself. You are loved more than you know. That is what I went into the dreaming to tell you, to remind you that you weren
’
t alone. You never will be.
”

“
How are you here, Molly?
”

“
I wanted you to know. Aberto comes into the darkness sometimes to check on me, to see if I
’
m becoming more Revenant than Seer. He told me he
’
d put you under so we could talk. It was the only way I could tell you the truth of what is happening.
”

“
What do you mean?
”
I
’
d been so focused on myself, on fighting my own internal battle, it had escaped my notice everything was trying to tell me, warn me, about what was coming.

“
The Revenants have a message.
”
Molly moved closer, causing my stomach to drop.  Her bloodied face came within inches of mine as she raised a charred hand to my face.
“
See what is coming.
”

Terror ripped through me as the Revenants moved around in my mind.  Each one chanted their warnings over and over again; none of them making much sense until I felt what Molly felt.  Conall had showed me what would become of him, but there was so much more.  Everyone I cared for was washed away by the darkness.

Looking deeper into their thoughts, I found something that couldn
’
t be true. No matter that each one had the same memories, the same fear, at the center of the darkness was a glowing red ember, seeking to destroy everyone, and everything, in its path. As I looked closer, the truth of what I saw terrified me. The glowing ember
—
the thing that would rain down destruction upon the world
—
was me.