Seeking Love in Salvation (13 page)

“We’ll go slow, Valentina. We’re not going to take you away from your sister and Kenny. We’re going to help all of you and be part of your lives, hopefully part of your heart, Valentina,” Ridge added.

She looked up at him.

“I want you to know that I love what we did. How each of you made me feel tonight. Just letting go a little and giving into these feelings I have for each of you was amazing. It was powerful and like nothing I’ve ever felt before. That power was also scary, too. What if things don’t work out? What if one of you stops caring, or all of you? It’s a lot to consider. And then where does that leave me?

I don’t think I can take another emotionally traumatic experience in my life. It’s been hard enough trying to deal with everything, and I’ve honestly always held back on giving my heart up to any man, to any person other than my family. I just don’t know if I have the strength, no matter how much I hoped coming here would help my sister and I achieve salvation. That this town was more than a name, it was fate and a place to heal and be free.”

Jace felt his gut clench and his heart ache for her. She was obviously fearful for a whole lot of reasons.

He pulled her close. “We all have our fears and concerns. It’s normal. We can take all the time you need. We’re not going anywhere, Valentina. Salvation is our home. It’s where we, too, have sought out our salvation, our peace, as we try to live normal lives. We’re in this together. I promise you,” Jace told her, cupping her cheek and pulling her toward him to kiss her softly on the lips. In no time at all, that kiss grew stronger, more sensual, and he rolled her to her back, pressed between her legs, and explored her mouth thoroughly until they were both panting for breath. When he finally released her lips, she looked so sexy and well-kissed.

“You keep that up, Mr. Green Beret, and I won’t be able to leave you. To leave any of you.”

“Oh, yeah, let’s keep on kissing her, then. Move on over, Jace, it’s my turn,” Ridge stated firmly, and they all chuckled.

“I have nothing to say. I don’t know why you keep coming here,” Roxie said to Valentina. Valentina sighed. She glanced at the three kids as they remained on the floor next to the couch. They didn’t go play with some of the other kids. They looked scared and sad, especially the six-year-old.

The one-year-old baby was crying up a storm now. Roxie wasn’t even holding her right. She didn’t have her pressed to her chest, to feel the comfort of her mother’s embrace. Instead, she had her laying low on her lap, the baby’s neck tilted in an uncomfortable fashion.

Valentina couldn’t take it any more as she sat there wondering why this woman was being so defiant.

“I can’t take this. I just want out of here and to be left alone.”

“Well, that isn’t going to happen. You can’t just go wherever. You have no money, no means of surviving on your own, and the second you do and Samuel finds you, you’re as good as dead.”

“That’s not true. He won’t kill the mother of his children,” she said with attitude and then shifted the baby and rocked her hard. It was killing Valentina to watch how uncaring this woman was. She was starting to think that placing these kids in foster care would be better for them.

“Stop that. Go play or something,” Roxie snapped at the little six-year-old and gave his shoulder a shove.

God, it was making Valentina nuts, especially as the baby continued to cry. The four-year-old looked at her mother with fear in her eyes. Every cop instinct and motherly instinct in Valentina’s body was on alert. Had her boss and the detectives even looked into the well-being of these children? Did Roxie really even care about them, or was she just holding onto them in order to keep their father in her life? She had seen it before in cases in the city. The children always suffered. It didn’t sit right with her.

The baby was screaming now, and Roxie was moving her onto the couch like she was done trying and that was it. Glancing toward one of the women who ran the shelter, Valentina saw the disgust on her face, but another woman needed help.

“Let me try,” Valentina said to her.

Roxie looked at her. “Go ahead. She cries all the time. She’s never happy or content. I’m stuck here with these three babies. I didn’t even want them,” she stated. Valentina’s heart ached as she saw the six-year-old and four-year-old look about ready to cry, but then they turned away and stared off, watching the other kids play with blocks and trucks on the rug.

Valentina rocked the baby in her arms and held her tightly. She looked down into her eyes and then spoke to her calmly. As the baby settled down, the tears sitting on her thick black eyelashes, Valentina smiled.

“I think someone just wants to be held close and rocked to sleep,” she whispered.

Roxie stared at her and leaned back, looking at her nails and away from the scene as if she didn’t even care.

Valentina felt the tiny hand on her leg and looked to the right to see the four-year-old. “Is this your baby sister?” Valentina asked her.

The little girl nodded. “She’s so sweet. Do you like babies?” she asked her, and the little girl nodded her head. Then she climbed up next to Valentina and sat beside her. She reached over and caressed her baby sister’s cheek. Valentina continued to rock the baby, and then the four-year-old crawled next to Valentina’s feet and sat close to her. She felt his hand on her leg and his head on her thigh. It took so much effort not to cry for these kids.

She looked at their mother.

“You want them, you can have them. They’re nothing but a burden,” she said and stood up.

Valentina was shocked.

“Sit back down right now,” she told her. Roxie looked at her and Valentina held her gaze with a firm expression. She may be a woman feeling for these kids right now, but she was still a cop and here to do a job. To catch a criminal, and now, to make sure these kids weren’t being abused and neglected.

“Why?”

“Because I told you to, and because if you don’t, I’m going to make your life a living hell.” Valentina didn’t know what came over her. She felt so protective of these kids right now. She was disgusted with this mother and what she was doing to them, or not doing to them. It wasn’t right at all.

Roxie sat back down and Valentina saw the expression on her face. She had a bad feeling in her gut as she rocked the baby in her arms, who began to fall asleep.

A glance down at the four- and six-year-olds and she saw them closing their eyes, too.

Valentina looked at Roxie.

“You want a better life for you and for these kids, then you tell me where Samuel is hiding out. Because right now, my boss and the detectives working this case aren’t giving me any more time with you. I’m pushing for you, Roxie. Thinking that you’ll come to your senses and put yourself and your kids before Samuel and potentially jail. Do you want to go to jail for holding back information leading to the arrest of a felon? You have other charges pending against you, I understand, from the detectives. These kids, and keeping them with you, have provided you more than a second chance.”

“You think you can threaten to take my kids from me and put me in jail? I don’t care. Take them. I can’t take care of them anyway. Don’t want to, either.” Valentina held back her temper.

“I don’t believe that. Samuel knows that you’re taking care of his kids.”

“He’s the only reason I do. He takes care of me. Not you, not some detectives or even the snobby bitches in this place that try to tell me what to do and want me to work. With Samuel I don’t need to work. I can spread my legs, give my man all he needs, and take care of his kids.”

“This is taking care of them? Beating the hell out of you? Breaking Tye’s little arm, bruising up Lena? That’s a good father to you? What will he do to Grace? She’s a baby, too. You’re their mother, start acting like it and get rid of this guy. Let us lock him up and help you get a new start. You can stay here and start working, taking some classes and learning a trade. They hook up plenty of women and help them and their children live a better quality of life.”

Roxie stood up. “I told you I could care less about those kids. Without them, Samuel doesn’t come back to me. They serve my purpose.”

“They’re babies. They deserve better. They deserve a mother and a father who care about them.”

“Give me her.” Roxy grabbed at Grace, making the sleeping baby stir in Valentina’s arms.

“Easy, Roxie, you’ll wake her or hurt her,” she said to her.

“She’s my baby,” she said and took her from Valentina’s arms. The baby began to cry as Valentina tried to gently release her to her mother.

Roxie reached down and grabbed the little boy Tye by his hair, pulling him away from Valentina. She then gave Lena, the four-year-old, a smack.

“Get here with me now,” she yelled at the child and then looked at Valentina.

“I won’t tell you anything, and if I were you, I’d watch my back, cop. Samuel is never far, and he always knows where his babies are. Always.”

The kids were all crying and their faces, and the fear in their eyes as their mother pulled them away and out of the room, was enough to make Valentina sick.

She had seen this type of situation time and time again as a cop in the city. It was the children who were going to suffer. She watched as the social worker followed Roxie, and Valentina knew that the social workers would try their hardest to teach Roxie how to treat her children. The problem was that Roxie was abused by Samuel, and she in turn abused the kids, and it was a vicious cycle.

But God, how Valentina wished there was more she could do for them. This was out of her control. She was a cop investigating a case and trying to get a bad guy. The one woman who could put him away and save herself and her children downright refused to do so. How terrible was that?

* * * *

Lois watched Kenny run to Valentina as she walked up along the side of the house. Immediately, Lois saw her sad expression and then the smile as Kenny called out her name.

Val lifted him up in her arms and hugged him tight.

“I missed you,” he told her.

“I missed you, too, munchkin,” she replied and then set him down and caressed his hair. Lois could tell she was deep in thought.

“What’s going on?” Lois asked.

She shook her head at her.

“Long day,” Valentina said and then looked at Kenny as he climbed the jungle gym.

“Are you okay? You seem upset,” Lois asked her.

“I think I’m going to go for a run. I need to clear my head.”

“Work was that bad?”

“I’ll be fine,” Valentina said and headed toward the house.

Lois worried about her and wondered what had happened at work to make her feel this way.

“Hey, buddy, you want to help me with dinner?” Lois asked Kenny, and he came running to her.

“Yes. I’m getting hungry.”

Lois smiled and then headed inside with Kenny.

* * * *

Valentina showered after her run and then helped her sister clean up the kitchen from dinner. She felt restless and saw that it was only seven in the evening.

“I’m going to go out for a bit. Maybe walk down the road or something, or by the swimming hole.”

“You should take a flashlight and maybe your gun. God knows what’s lurking down here,” Lois said, truly worried about little critters and even spiders. She’d nearly screamed the house down last week when she saw one big spider in the shower.

Valentina chuckled as she smoothed out the light floral romper she was wearing. It was a one-piece with shorts and a halter top that just barely covered the scar on her chest. She grabbed a light sweater just in case and headed out the back porch door.

She didn’t know what to do. When she’d returned to work and told Gus about what went down at the shelter and how uncooperative Roxie was being, he wasn’t pleased. He understood Valentina’s concern over the kids and informed her that social services had already been involved and that the social workers felt that the kids weren’t safe with Roxie. They were considering taking them from her if she abused one of them again. They were keeping a close eye on her and the kids.

Valentina felt so sick to her stomach. She’d hardly eaten dinner. She kept looking at Kenny and Lois. Her sister got out of her abusive relationship with Caden, but he still went after her and Kenny. She shivered from her own thoughts and memories. She pulled on the sweater and headed straight toward the water and the picnic table that sat down there, along with benches and a grill. The grill was set up for a barbecue and cemented into the ground. She could just imagine cooking on the grill while the Brazos family was swimming and having fun with the rest of their family.

She thought about her life and about being a cop. She was young still, twenty-four, and in five years of being a cop, she’d seen more than her share of bad shit. It had hardened her in so many ways. She thought about Roxie and about the abuse, and her love for Samuel. Yet she said she didn’t love her kids. She saw them as a burden, and yet knew that Samuel only came back to see them, not her. Why was she staying loyal to him? Was there a way for a therapist to get through to her? Was she so far gone, so abused and abusive, that it didn’t matter? She didn’t care about herself or her life, so why would she care about her kids?