Set Loose (13 page)

Cutter was beside her in a matter of seconds.

“Are you all right? What happened?” he asked, dropping down beside her.

“I heard a rattlesnake,” she said, gripping her ankle as she listened fiercely.

“Seriously?”

“Listen. There it is again!”

They both fell silent. Then the noise sounded again.

“Did you hear that?” she asked.

“Actually, that’s just the sound of all this dry brush rubbing together when the wind blows.”

Emily’s mouth dropped open and she felt her face heat by a few more degrees. “You mean I just freaked out over plants blowing around?”

“Afraid so. How bad is your foot?”

“I don’t know. It’s done this a couple of other times since I injured it. Sometimes I can walk on it right away, and sometimes I can’t.”

Cutter stood and then helped her up, but pain shot through her foot as soon as she tried to put weight on it. A few choice swears erupted from her and she sagged in defeat.

“You go ahead. Save yourself,” she said, trying for humor even though she was furious with herself.

But Cutter was frowning and looking ahead, obviously contemplating the reality of getting back to the car.

“I’m really sorry,” she said. “I’m supposed to be graceful and then I go falling over myself –”

“Here, take this,” he said, handing her the water bottle he’d been carrying for the two of them.

Before she knew what he was getting at, he bent down and picked her up, one arm under her knees and the other at her back.

“What are you doing? You can’t carry me all the way!”

“Sure I can,” he said mildly, already walking. “It’s probably only a mile or so to the car. Besides, how else do you think we’ll get you back? We can’t get a car up here.”

This was true. She fell silent, swamped with guilt.

Cutter marched along, breathing only a little heavier than usual, though he was soon sweating from the heat.

“I’m sorry I’ve been eating so much lately,” she said meekly. “This would have been easier for you a few weeks ago.”

Cutter laughed and kissed her. “You’re light as a feather, babe.”

He stopped only once to rest, setting her gently on a boulder while he took a breather.

“You could sling me over your shoulder, if that would be easier,” Emily offered. “My weight would be distributed –”

Cutter stopped her with a kiss. “Shut up, sweetie,” he said kindly.

Picking her up again he continued on. After what felt like forever but was really forty minutes by her watch, they reached the car.

They rode home listening to Emmilou Harris, the inhospitable landscape taking on a whole new meaning for her. She’d never really been in danger, but if she’d hurt herself with anyone else, it would have been a lot messier. He’d carried her out like it was nothing.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about being rescued like that. It would almost have been easier if he’d made a big deal out of it, complained or made her feel bad for being so ridiculous. Instead he was…heroic. And it wasn’t the first time he’d taken care of her, or even the most dramatic. She’d never met a man she’d have trusted with her life, but here he was beside her, whistling as if it were just another day.

“Thank you,” she said, squeezing his hand.

Cutter looked at her, clearly surprised by her intensity.

“It was nothing,” he said, trying again to brush it off.

“No, it was definitely something,” she replied, and let it go at that.

Emily spent the rest of the afternoon with her foot up, icing it every twenty minutes. When she tried again to stand it was better, and she was able to limp around without much trouble. Hopefully she’d be okay by Sunday night if she took it easy.

Since neither one of them was up for cooking they had pizza delivered. They were just finishing up when Cutter’s phone rang.

“It’s my mom,” he said, sounding glum.

Dutifully he answered, getting up from the table and heading out the back door to talk.

Emily cleared and washed the dishes in the sink, then made her slow way into the kitchen. Glancing out the back door she saw that Cutter was off the phone, but he was still standing out there, his back to the door.

“Everything okay?” she asked, popping her head outside.

He turned around and attempted a smile. “Same as always,” he shrugged.

Emily stepped onto the deck and wrapped her arms around his waist. After a few moments she felt him relax into her and a sigh escaped him. Together they stood there as the light slowly faded, neither of them saying a word. She was so immersed in Cutter she wasn’t really paying attention to what was out there. When she finally looked out into his back yard, her mouth fell open.

Of course she’d glanced out the back door before, but normally he had the curtains drawn so the sun didn’t beat into the house. Plus until the last week or so it had been too damned hot to go outside. Now with dusk falling, softening everything with shadows, it was as if she were seeing his garden for the first time.

Stone paths curved around low bushes and trees, tall decorative grasses, and an incredible variety of cactus plants. Until that moment she’d viewed the native vegetation as dreary, but this was anything but. Unlike the gardens she’d seen around the hotels – lush, vivid arrangements of plants that clearly never grew on their own in Nevada – this was a little paradise out of the desert’s own plant life.

“Did you do all that?” she asked him.

“Yeah. I picked a lot up at the nursery I worked for in high school. Anyway, I had to put something back there. It was pretty much just dirt when I moved in. You should see it in March when everything’s in bloom.”

He stopped then, as if suddenly realizing what he’d said. Because of course she wasn’t going to be here in March.

“Why don’t you show me around?”

“What about your foot?” he asked. “Shouldn’t you take it easy?”

“I’ll be fine. If I need to, I’ll lean on you,” she said. “Come on, you can show off and tell me what all the plants are.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.”

His hand came to rest on her bare arm, supporting her down the stairs, and the simple contact sent a rush of desire through her veins. At the bottom of the steps he took her hand, the way he sometimes did without seeming to think about it.

Together they walked along the stone paths and he named the plants for her – yellow daisies, butterfly and indigo bush, juniper, barrel cacti, agaves, all sorts of tall grasses. He even had a small herb garden. Somehow that awed her as much as anything. She’d never known any man who had such a thing.

All if it brought home more than anything could how rooted he was to this place. Whereas she was rooted to nothing and nowhere.

But it was impossible to feel down in the middle of such unusual beauty. And then there was Cutter himself, the man who’d created it all with such care and devotion. So handsome he was beautiful, so strong he made everything seem easy.

She put her hand on his arm, calling his attention from a plant he was examining.

“You’re pretty amazing, you know that?” she said.

He looked surprised. “Anyone could do this if they put the time in.”

But Emily was too far gone for talking. Out there with him as the sun went down, she felt herself inexorably drawn toward him.

Birds she didn’t recognize sang from the bushes and tall grasses, and she felt all at once like Eve come upon Adam unexpectedly. An Eve who hadn’t known there was such a creature in the world.

Reaching up she took his face between her hands, pressing her lips to his. Just that, and yet it shook her to the core, the simplicity of it belying a connection that didn’t break when their lips parted, but made separation unbearable.

“Emily,” he breathed, and she could see he felt it too.

His lips touched hers again, testing, grazing over her mouth before a soft moan escaped her and the kiss grew deeper, hungrier. Something elemental passed between them, and a need rose in her to connect with him in every way possible. She wanted to breathe in his skin, taste him, feel him along every inch of her, inside her. Together they fell to their knees on the soft blue petals that crept along the ground. She could feel him tremble, feel emotions coursing through him.

His arm came around her and he eased her back until he was on top of her, kissing her eyes, her cheekbones, her throat. Gentle and fierce, he gave her what she needed, pressing her to the earth when she felt as if she might drift up into the darkening sky.

Her hands moved over him, pulling at his clothes until he laughed, a dark, shaky sound of bemusement and desire. Standing up he pulled his shirt over his head, then unbuttoned his shorts and pulled them off with his underwear until he was gloriously naked.

Dropping down beside her, he kissed her deep, a lush, devouring kiss full of promises. Greedily she ran her hands over his smooth skin as she licked the salt from his throat.

His breathing was fast and ragged as he moved down her body, his mouth skimming beneath the neckline of her tank top to lick between her breasts. She opened her legs and lifted her hips in anticipation. He was so good, oh so good with that mouth of his.

Pushing her skirt up her thighs he kissed his way to her center. Then his mouth was on her though her underwear, licking first slow and then faster, light and then with more pressure, until she knew she’d come any second if she didn’t stop him.

But she wasn’t ready to let go yet, didn’t want it to end. She wanted to feel him moving inside her while every nerve ending still screamed for release.

Sitting up, she pushed at his chest until he rolled onto his back.

Standing up, she felt as if the last shreds of civilization left her as her clothes fell to the cooling leaves at her feet. Putting a foot on either side of him she dropped down, lowering herself onto him little by little, driving them both crazy. They moaned in unison as she sank fully onto him and he slid into her wet heat. She leaned over him and kissed him deep, whimpers of pleasure rising from her as he drove into her with no barrier between them.

Sitting up he took a breast in his mouth, his eyes closed, lashes dark against his dusky skin. She spread her knees to take him deeper, each thrust hitting home with an ache so sweet it was almost painful.

She was almost there, had been the moment she took him inside her. Now she was strung too tight, her body crying out for release. As if knowing how close she was, Cutter slid a thumb onto her clit, the direct pressure so intense her head fell back and one hand gripped his thigh. All at once her release swept through her with the heat and power of stars being born.

She was still gasping when he flipped her beneath him with a neat roll, never leaving her. Then he pushed her thighs against her chest and drove into her, sleek and hard, so big she felt another wave rise up and take her away just as he groaned and kissed her again.

She must have dozed off. She awoke under an indigo sky, limitless and unfathomable. Cutter woke the next instant and together they stumbled to their feet. But she held back, lingering for one last minute in the dark of his garden, wishing they could stay there under the stars, away from hard questions and confusion. Then she put her hand in his and followed him to the house and into his bed.

***

Cutter came awake the next morning suffused with a feeling of well-being. He lay there for long minutes remembering last night, but soon he wanted the real thing.

He opened his eyes only to realize that Emily was already up. Sunlight flooded the room and washed over his bed because he’d been too out of it to close the blinds last night. No doubt that was what had woken her.

The faint hum of music and smell of coffee pulled him out of bed. He pulled on last night’s shorts and headed down the hall.

She was leaning against the sofa, her back to him, dressed only in a black camisole and bikini underwear, her hair loose and mussed. At first he was so struck by the picture she made he didn’t hear what she was saying.

“I was surprised too, but they said they can spare me now,” Emily was saying. “If I leave Tuesday I should be in Boston sometime Friday.”

Cutter forgot to breathe. Had he heard her right? Was she really leaving in three days?

He was still standing there when Emily said goodbye and turned around. Her mouth fell open and she looked at him with a mixture of dismay and guilt that knocked the breath out of him.

“I guess you heard all that.”

“Are you seriously leaving Tuesday?”

“I’m sorry. I know it’s sudden –”

“Hell yeah, it’s sudden. What happened to staying another few weeks?”

Emily bit her lip, her big blue eyes looking at him with such resigned sadness he felt his stomach drop to his knees.

“Things are getting more serious than either one of us expected. The longer I stay, the harder it’s going to be for both of us when I leave.”

“Then don’t leave.”

“Please don’t make this harder than it is,” she said, her voice pleading. “I can’t give you want you want. What you deserve. I don’t want to hurt you, but if I get distracted and stay here, I may never get my life back. I’ve already stayed here too long. There’s an apartment waiting for me, people waiting for me. I can’t drop all that just because I’ve been happy here with you.”

“But why not stay if you’re happy? Isn’t that what you want?” he asked, the knowledge that he was losing her seeping like ice water into his veins.

“I can’t afford to chose it over the rest of my life. It’s already made me complacent. I should have left here weeks ago but I didn’t want…I didn’t want to leave you. But I’ll never forgive myself if I stay, and I’ll resent you too.”

Cutter looked at her, his body tense with frustration and the effort it took to hold back all he wanted to say. His jaw ached from clenching it too tightly, holding in the howl of pain he wanted to let loose. A thousand replies went through his head, but she’d rendered all of them pointless.

They stood there facing each other, neither of them saying anything for a moment. Then Emily roughly wiped her eyes.

“I don’t even know why you want me,” she said, confusion and weariness in her voice. “I’m a disaster. For all you know all I’ll ever be is a stripper.”