Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey (17 page)

The only real limitation of power is the natural consequences of the principles themselves. We are free to choose our actions, based on our knowledge of correct principles, but we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions. Remember, "If you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other.

Principles always have natural consequences attached to them. There are positive consequences when we live in harmony with the principles. There are negative consequences when we ignore them.

But because these principles apply to everyone, whether or not they are aware, this limitation is universal. And the more we know of correct principles, the greater is our personal freedom to act wisely.

By centering our lives on timeless, unchanging principles, we create a fundamental paradigm of effective living. It is the center that puts all other centers in perspective.

If you are Principle Centered...

SECURITY

Your security is based on correct principles that do not change, regardless of external conditions or circumstances.

You know that true principles can repeatedly be validated in your own life, through your own experiences.

As a measurement of self-improvement, correct principles function with exactness, consistency, beauty and strength.

Correct principles help you understand your own development, endowing you with the confidence to learn more, thereby increasing your knowledge and understanding.

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart
Your source of security provides you with an immovable, unchanging, unfailing core enabling you to see change as an exciting adventure and opportunity to make significant contributions.

GUIDANCE

You are guided by a compass which enables you to see where you want to go and how you will get there.

You use accurate data which makes your decisions both implementable and meaningful.

You stand apart from life's situations, and circumstances and look at the balanced whole. Your decisions and actions reflect both short and long-term considerations and implications.

In every situation, you consciously, proactively determine the best alternative, basing decisions on conscience educated by principles.

WISDOM

Your judgment encompasses a broad spectrum of long-term consequences and reflects a wise balance and quiet assurance.

You see things differently and thus you think and act differently from the largely reactive world.

You view the world through a fundamental paradigm for effective, provident living.

You see the world in terms of what you can do for the world and its people.

You adopt a proactive lifestyle, seeking to serve and build others.

You interpret all of life's experiences in terms of opportunities for learning and contribution.

POWER

Your power is limited only by your understanding and observance of natural law and correct principles and by the natural consequences of the principles themselves.

You become a self-aware, knowledgeable, proactive individual, largely unrestricted by the attitudes, behaviors, or actions of others.

Your ability to act reaches far beyond your own resources and encourages highly developed levels of interdependency.

Your decisions and actions are not driven by your current financial or circumstantial limitations.

You experience an interdependent freedom.

Remember that your paradigm is the source from which your attitudes and behaviors flow. A paradigm is like a pair of glasses; it affects the way you see everything in your life. If you look at things through the paradigm of correct principles, what you see in life is dramatically different from what you see through any other centered paradigm.

I have included in the Appendix section of this book a detailed chart which shows how each center we've discussed might possibly affect the way you see everything else. But for a quick understanding of the difference your center makes, let's look at just one example of a specific problem as seen through the different paradigms. As you read, try to put on each pair of glasses. Try to feel the response that flows from the different centers.

Suppose tonight you have invited your wife to go to a concert. You have the tickets; she's excited about going. It's four o'clock in the afternoon.

All of a sudden, your boss calls you into his office and says he needs your help through the evening to get ready for an important meeting at 9 A.M. tomorrow.

If you're looking through spouse-centered or family-centered glasses, your main concern will be your wife. You may tell the boss you can't stay and you take her to the concert in an effort to please her. You may feel you have to stay to protect your job, but you'll do so grudgingly, anxious about her response, trying to justify your decision and protect yourself from her disappointment or anger.

If you're looking through a money-centered lens, your main thought will be of the overtime you'll get or the influence working late will have on a potential raise. You may call your wife and simply tell her you have to stay, assuming she'll understand that economic demands come first.

If you're work-centered, you may be thinking of the opportunity. You can learn more about the job.

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart
You can make some points with the boss and further your career. You may give yourself a pat on the back for putting hours well beyond what is required, evidence of what a hard worker you are. Your wife should be proud of you!

If you're possession-centered, you might be thinking of the things the overtime income could buy.

Or you might consider what an asset to your reputation at the office it would be if you stayed.

Everyone would hear tomorrow how noble, how sacrificing and dedicated you are.

If you're pleasure-centered, you'll probably can the work and go to the concert, even if your wife would be happy for you to work late. You deserve a night out!

If you're friend-centered, your decision would be influenced by whether or not you had invited friends to attend the concert with you. Or whether your friends at work were going to stay late, too.

If you're enemy-centered, you may stay late because you know it will give you a big edge over that person in the office who thinks he's the company's greatest asset. While he's off having fun, you'll be working and slaving, doing his work and yours, sacrificing your personal pleasure for the good of the company he can so blithely ignore.

If you're church-centered, you might be influenced by plans other church members have to attend the concert, by whether or not any church members work at your office, or by the nature of the concert

-- Handel's Messiah might rate higher in priority than a rock concert. Your decision might also be affected by what you think a "good church member" would do and by whether you view the extra work as "service" or "seeking after material wealth."

If you're self-centered, you'll be focused on what will do you the most good. Would it be better for you to go out for the evening? Or would it be better for you to make a few points with the boss? How the different options affect you will be your main concern.

As we consider various ways of looking at a single event, is it any wonder that we have "young lady/old lady" perception problems in our interactions with each other? Can you see how fundamentally our centers affect us? Right down to our motivations, our daily decisions, our actions (or, in too many cases, our reactions), our interpretations of events? That's why understanding your own center is so important. And if that center does not empower you as a proactive person, it becomes fundamental to your effectiveness to make the necessary Paradigm Shifts to create a center that will.

As a principle-centered person, you try to stand apart from the emotion of the situation and from other factors that would act on you, and evaluate the option. Looking at the balanced whole -- the work needs, the family needs, other needs that may be involved and the possible implications of the various alternative decisions -- you'll try to come up with the best solution, taking all factors into consideration.

Whether you go to the concert or stay and work is really a small part of an effective decision. You might make the same choice with a number of other centers. But there are several important differences when you are coming from a principle-centered paradigm. First, you are not being acted upon by other people or circumstances. You are proactively choosing what you determine to be the best alternative. You make your decisions consciously and knowledgeably.

Second, you know your decision is most effective because it is based on principles with predictable long-term results.

Third, what you choose to do contributes to your ultimate values in life. Staying at work to get the edge on someone at the office is an entirely different evening in your life from staying because you value your boss's effectiveness and you genuinely want to contribute to the company's welfare. The experiences you have as you carry out your decisions take on quality and meaning in the context of your life as a whole.

Fourth, you can communicate to your wife and your boss within strong networks you've created in your interdependent relationships. Because you are independent, you can be effectively interdependent. You might decide to delegate what is delegable and come in early the next morning
THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart
to do the rest.

And finally, you'll feel comfortable about your decision. Whatever you choose to do, you can focus on it and enjoy it.

As a principle-centered person, you see things differently. And because you see things differently, you think differently, you act differently. Because you have a high degree of security, guidance, wisdom, and power that flows from a solid, unchanging core, you have the foundation of a highly proactive and highly effective life.

Writing and Using a A Personal Mission Statement

As we go deeply within ourselves, as we understand and realign our basic paradigms to bring them in harmony with correct principles, we create both an effective, empowering center and a clear lens through which we can see the world. We can then focus that lens on how we, as unique individuals, relate to that world

Frankl says we detect rather than invent our missions in life. I like that choice of words. I think each of us has an internal monitor or sense, a conscience, that gives us an awareness of our own uniqueness and the singular contributions that we can make. In Frankl's words, "Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated.

Thus, everyone's task is as unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.

In seeking to give verbal expression to that uniqueness, we are again reminded of the fundamental importance of proactivity and of working within our Circle of Influence. To seek some abstract meaning to our lives out in our Circle of Concern is to abdicate our proactive responsibility, to place our own first creation in the hands of circumstance and other people.

Our meaning comes from within. Again, in the words of Frankl, "Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible."

Personal responsibility, or proactivity, is fundamental to the first creation. Returning to the computer metaphor, Habit 1 says "You are the programmer." Habit 2, then, says, "Write the program."

Until you accept the idea that you are responsible, that you are the programmer, you won't really invest in writing the program.

As proactive people , we can begin to give expression to what we want to be and to do in our lives.

We can write a personal mission statement, a personal constitution.

A mission statement is not something you write overnight. It takes deep introspection, careful analysis, thoughtful expression, and often many rewrites to produce it in final form. It may take you several weeks or even months before you feel really comfortable with it, before you feel it is a complete and concise expression of your innermost values and directions. Even then, you will want to review it regularly and make minor changes as the years bring additional insights or changing circumstances.

But fundamentally, your mission statement becomes your constitution, the solid expression of your vision and values. It becomes the criterion by which you measure everything else in your life.

I recently finished reviewing my own mission statement, which I do fairly regularly. Sitting on the edge of a beach, alone, at the end of a bicycle ride, I took out my organizer and hammered it out. It took several hours, but I felt a sense of clarity, a sense of organization and commitment, a sense of exhilaration and freedom.

I find the process is as important as the product. Writing or reviewing a mission statement changes you because it forces you to think through your priorities deeply, carefully, and to align your behavior with your beliefs. As you do, other people begin to sense that you're not being driven by everything that happens to you. You have a sense of mission about what you're trying to do and you are excited
THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE Brought to you by FlyHeart
about it.

Our self-awareness empowers us to examine our own thoughts. This is particularly helpful in creating a personal mission statement because the two unique human endowments that enable us to practice Habit 2 -- imagination and conscience -- are primarily functions of the right side of the brain.