Shadowhunter (Nephilim Quest Book 1) (60 page)

I could hear my blood ringing in my ears. So Elijah had gone through what can only be described as hell...

"If I know anything about Daniel, I think he almost hopes you might find someone else who is not your twin soul. If you made promises to such a Nephilim, and he was infected, you would survive. So there. I think he is very much in love with you, and fights it with all his willpower. Which is formidable, I have to tell you."

"Do you mean he could... deny his feelings for me completely?" I whispered.

"Deny? Oh no! He cannot deny his feelings. None of us can, not really. He may push his emotions back, keep his distance from you, but he can't deny what he feels for you."

"What will happen, then?"

"That, my dear, is not up to me, but to you two," Diana said bluntly. "I just had to fill you in about Nephilim love affairs so you aren't walking blindfold into something. I wish I could console you and say that of course you two will get each other, but I am no magician. Like I said - it's up to you."

We finished our drinks in silence.

CHAPTER SEVENTY-SIX

76. Dreamscape

Days of intensive study immersed us completely in the Amarna period until we felt as though we were living in that time. For hours each day we examined every detail; the people of the period, their religion, clothing, food, skills, warfare and beliefs in the afterlife.
 
We studied the geography until we felt we had walked every inch of the landscape under the intense heat of Akhenaten's god Aten, the sun disk. We knew how the inhabitants of Amarna had built their houses, how they hunted and fished and how they tended their livestock and crops. We knew how they viewed their neighbouring countries and the royal family.
 

Taking only brief breaks to eat and rest, I realised that I did not seem to need as much sleep as when I had been an ordinary teenager. Diana slept like a log. She said she had learned to fall asleep anywhere and anytime, when she was a house slave. She was expected to serve the family on an instant's notice and had learned to grab a few minutes of sleep any time that she could, if necessary.

No one complained about having to do research, though. We knew we had to understand as much as we possibly could before leaving. Our very lives might depend on it.
 

My seventeenth birthday came and to celebrate we all ate birthday cake during the coffee break, before going back immediately to our studies. I made a phone call to my parents during which I chatted cheerily and promised to come visit as soon as I could.

To my great surprise Daniel walked up to me, as we were leaving the cafeteria, and asked me to wait. I had a feeling Elijah was in on the plot because he seemed to almost herd the others back to the classroom. Daniel seemed lost for words, and without saying anything, put a little object into my hand when the others were out of sight. It was a tiny wooden box.
 

I looked at the box and then at him, surprised.

"What's this?"

"It's a little trinket that my mother used to wear," he said, and seemed slightly embarrassed. "If you don't want it, I will understand. I... Dana, I don't want you to think I don't care for you. But it is... complicated. Still, it would make me very happy, if you chose to wear this."

My discussion with Diana had taught me more about the relationships of the Nephilim than Daniel knew, but I said nothing. I opened the box. A small brooch was in the box. It was a silver crescent moon inside a golden sun. The rays of the sun resembled those of a flower.

"It's... It's beautiful!" I stammered. "I would love to wear it. Thank you..."

I stood there, not knowing whether I was allowed to touch him or not. It was so awkward. I was certain I saw desire in his eyes, and knew my eyes were revealing my emotions as well. I took half a step towards him, and then stopped.

"Here, let me put it on," Daniel moved right next to me. It took him a few seconds to attach the brooch to my shirt and I touched it gently. I managed to touch his fingers also, and he did not withdraw his hands immediately. For a few seconds our fingers kept their contact and we looked into each other's eyes. I saw his pupils were dilated, which made his eyes almost black. I am sure my eyes looked just the same. I just stood there, listening to the humming in my head, trying my very best not to kiss him. I was surprised I did not see sparks flying from our fingertips.

Then he stepped back.

"We'd better go now. Happy Birthday, Dana..." he whispered hoarsely, and his words felt like a caress.

I felt so happy I could have cried, but instead I just smiled at him, trying to appear as though everything was normal to anyone who might be watching us in the cafeteria. I have no idea if I was at all successful, if Diana's words about the whole Centre knowing about us were true. And why wouldn't they be? Rumors travel fast.

In the evening I sat by the window, looking outside, listening to Diana snoring lightly. I caressed the little brooch with my fingers and turned it around so I could peek at the back. There was an engraving there.

I held my breath, when I saw what it was. There were two letters. D and D, entwined into each other. Daniel had given me a message about how he felt... I kissed the little brooch and let the tears run. Why did love need to be complicated? Why could it not be simple? Why did he not trust me enough?

Tears turned into anger, and then to frustration. I had just decided I should try to sleep a bit, when there was a knock on the door. I walked to it and opened it just a little, hoping that my eyes didn't show I'd been crying.

It was Lilith.

"I think it is time for you to see the dreamscape," she announced. "It might be a skill that could come in useful for you in Amarna."

"Oh! That's wonderful... are we leaving right away?"

"Yes. I have the Key, but I would like to see you gain access to the buffer zone yourself, while I'm here with you. So I'm going to take hold of your arm..." which she did, firmly, "...and off we go."

"Where to?"

"Just to the buffer zone first. I know the way from there."

I concentrated and the hum in my back intensified. I did not need my wings to open for this, but I needed to activate their energy nevertheless. I directed my thoughts to my back, and then backwards from there. Slowly the physical world turned misty; it was like falling backwards into water in slow motion, and then we were in the buffer zone.
 

"Well done," Lilith said, "now, we need to go one step down from this level. It's your turn to follow me."

She concentrated, standing still, and to my surprise threads started forming from her fingers.

"You are a Weaver!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, didn't anyone tell you?" She looked amused.

"No... But with what are you weaving? What is your anchor?"
 

Lilith's hands were empty.

"Dreams. It's enough that I remember one of my own dreams, and it takes me to the dream level."

The mist around us began to lift, and we descended to a level the like of which I could not have imagined.

Think of a hundred curved cinema canvases side by side, overlapping, and all with their own movie running. Behind the screens you could see others, and behind them others, until they disappeared into the distance. They had no sharp edges. It was more like holograms hanging in the air, brighter at the center, more transparent at the edges. Like transparent thought bubbles.

The bubbles were interacting with each other too. I saw a young girl eating an apple in one hologram, and a young boy right next to it becoming aware of the apple and trying to reach for it. An office worker looking out of a window into a beautiful landscape, which was another bubble behind it.

"Now, let us see if anyone is lucid dreaming," Lilith said.

She walked through the transparent edges of the dreams and kept on looking for something. I ducked when a horse suddenly appeared with a girl on its back and jumped a fence right towards me.

"Don't worry, they are only thin veils of thought energy. If they touch you, you can walk right through them," Lilith said over her shoulder, "but if you are not careful, it may happen that an especially strong dream carries you away with it."

"What happens then?" I looked at an old man reading an antique Bible with a young woman standing by his side, trying to get his attention.
 

"You fall asleep into their dream. You wake up later, but it is a strange sensation to be caught in someone else's dream... oh, you see that young woman with the old man?" Lilith realised what I was looking at.

"I do."

"She is not a dream, she is dead. Let's talk with her."

Lilith turned to the old man's dream.

"May we talk with you?" she asked, and the woman turned towards us. Now that we were close, I could see she was more solid than the dream bubbles were.

"Of course," the lady said.

"Are you trying to wake him?"

"Yes. We were married, and I died quite young. He never got over it, but began to blame himself. He is very religious and convinced himself that his sinful ways caused my death. I would like him to know I am just as much alive as I was with him. Or more alive, if that's possible to convey..."

"We can perhaps help you there?"

The woman looked at us.

"You have a winged one with you?"

I had a quick peek over my shoulder, but my wings were not open. She could sense what I was by some other means.

"Yes, she is new. I am teaching her how to move in the dreamscape. She is a healer."

"Perhaps she could then help my husband, to heal his pain?"

The discussion was taking an unexpected turn. I looked at Lilith.

"How would I do that?"

"I'll try to lift this man into a lucid dream. He is religious. You know what to do."

Lilith walked to the man and put her left hand on his shoulder, and her right hand to the nape of his neck. Her hands went straight through him, but he twitched a bit.

"What's his name?" she asked the dead wife.

"John. I am Elsa."

Lilith turned back to the old man and began to talk into his ear.

"John... your wife is here... John, look around and you will see her..."

The old man looked around with unseeing eyes, then returned to his Bible.

"John, an angel has brought your wife to see you in this dream. Open your eyes and see the angel..."

The word "angel" caused the old man to suddenly become more solid. He opened his eyes and began to look around.

"Wings, Dana..." Lilith whispered.

"Oh, of course..." I concentrated and opened my silver wings softly, not wanting to scare anyone. I moved right in front of the man.

The old man's eyes wandered a bit, but then his gaze locked onto me, and I could see how he became aware of his dream state. He began to become more solid.

Elsa moved across to stand beside me, and now he saw her.

"Elsa, my Elsa! You are here! You are not dead!" he whispered.

Elsa left my side and went to him.
 
She gave him a hug.

"Oh, but I am! I am physically dead, but I am here. I am alive in spirit. I am here waiting for you, when your time comes. You must give up your anger and bitterness, and live the years you have left. It was my time to go, and nothing you could have done would have changed that. And nothing you did caused that either."

"Elsa..." the old man began to cry, and it was as though the strong emotion somehow pulled him back towards his physical world and he began to fade. "Elsa, don't go!"

"I won't go anywhere, John," Elsa smiled, "I will be here in your dreams until it is your turn to come here to me. I love you, John."

The dream bubble vanished in an instant. Like a soap bubble bursting.

"He woke up," Lilith explained.

"But he had time to see me and recognize me. I thank you, angel," Elsa said and took my hands, looking at me in the eye. Her touch felt strangely immaterial... Much like touching a Nephilim's wings.

"Oh I am no angel," I felt almost embarrassed. "I am Nephilim."

"I don't care what you call yourself. You helped me, and that was the deed of an angel. Thank you."

Elsa let go of my hands and began to fade too. In a few seconds she was gone.

"I was glad to help," I whispered and withdrew my wings.

Lilith smiled. New dreams formed about us and old ones disappeared. Colors and forms danced all around. It was eerily beautiful.

"Your first good deed using your wings," she said, "and there will be more, I am sure."

"What do you mean by more good deeds? The healing?"

"Yes, healing will be a part of it, but you can also help in other ways. Ask Daniel and Elijah to take you with them on their food aid tours sometimes."

"Their what?"

"There is so much hunger in this world, yet there is enough food to feed those who are hungry," Lilith said. "The boys have amassed a considerable fortune in their long lifetime, and they use a lot of it in buying food."

"Food?" I repeated like a parrot.

"Yes, they buy food, and then they travel in the buffer zone to those areas where there is none. They give the food there to those in need. Also medical equipment.
 
Direct aid at its best. There are no middlemen stealing it along the way. They don't have much free time, but what they have, they use in that way."

I did not know what to say. I had not even thought I could use my wings to help others like that and I didn't realise that there was also this practical side to Daniel and Elijah. It was odd, thinking of beings that were half angel yet involved in charitable activities that were so down to earth. I immediately knew I wanted to join in this work, whenever possible.

"Now you have seen this place, you can use your memory as the anchor and come here whenever you wish."

"But if I want to see a specific person and what they are dreaming, what should I do?"

"Ah, yes. Let's try that. Hmm... we could start with Diana."

"OK, sounds good. Are you sure she won't mind?"

"Most likely not. She is not the kind who would take offence at my teaching you, even if it meant peeking into her dreams," Lilith said.