Shadows of Glass (29 page)

“Levi, I’m beginning to think your idea of going into the dome has merit,” Lyon says.
“We must find out what is going on inside there. If only there was some way I could
talk to the man in charge.”

“Sir William Meredith,” I say.

“You can’t be serious,” Jane says. “The man who is staking bodies up outside the door?”

Lyon smiles at her. “We’ve had dealings with worse my dear, and I know you recall
it. Now that we have somebody that knows precisely where the door is, I don’t see
why we don’t give it a try. If they trade with the rovers, then why wouldn’t they
be willing to trade with us?”

“Do you mean trade for our friends?” Pace asks. I know he’s thinking more of his mother
than Lucy, David, Jilly, and Harry.

“We could ask him,” Lyon says. “I would love to get a feel for this man, talk to him
about his motives and perhaps make him see that there is a life available to them
outside the dome.”

“Why would anyone want to leave the dome when they already have all the luxuries?”
Alcide asks.

“They wouldn’t have to leave the dome,” Lyon says. “Just break the glass. They can
continue to live in their homes as always. They would just no longer be trapped. They
would no longer have to rely on the fans.”

“They might need umbrellas,” Zan said with a wry grin.

“And snow shovels,” Levi added.

The answer Lyon gave was so simple that those of us from the dome sat mute with the
realization of how easy it would be. Life would basically be the same for everyone;
the only change would be instead of a sky of glass, there would be a beautiful sky
of blue, just as Alex said. A fitting tribute to him. There would be gardens and orchards
growing in the dirt and room for the cattle and pigs and chickens to roam. My mind
saw a true paradise surrounding the dome, with all of us working together and jobs
we chose to do because there would be room to grow and change. We would no longer
need so much coal because we would no longer need the fans. We would need fuel to
stay warm in the winter, but surely that could be found. We would have the entire
countryside as a resource.

Even though it has been a struggle since we came out, I want it to work. The world
is so beautiful. There is so much to see and explore. So much wonder to behold. Everyone
should see the moon and the stars and feel the wondrous warmth of the sun upon their
skin. In moderation of course. Everyone within should have the right to choose their
own path.

But what if the rovers do not want to share the resources of Great Britain. What if
they do fight us for them? Would we have enough manpower and weaponry to overcome
them?

Lyon’s remark about flying away to a safer place sounds like a dream compared to the
reality of our future. Yet it wasn’t that long ago that I considered this reality
a dream. I also have to consider his suggestion of breaking the glass of the dome.
Wouldn’t doing that be the same thing as what my father did for the rest of us? Breaking
the glass is the same as making the decision for everyone. If only things weren’t
so complicated. If only the answers were easy.

“I would not trust Sir Meredith,” I offer. The thought of Lyon Hatfield boldly knocking
on the door of the dome and my father’s reaction to him amuses me, but I also want
Lyon to know the type of man he could possibly be dealing with.

“From what you have told me of the man already, I will not,” Lyon replies. “Still,
there is nothing like looking your adversary in the eyes to get the true measure of
his will.”

“There is so much to think about,” Jane adds. “Attack from rovers, pleas for help
from inside the dome, and two of our own dear men dead this day. And this last bit
of news is very disturbing for all of us.”

“There is much to think about and plan for tomorrow,” Lyon agrees. “But first we must
take care of tonight. I know some of you worked the night shift. Are you able to help
with guarding our little fortress tonight?”

“I am,” James says.

“I will,” Adam echoes along with Alcide and Peter.

“I will also,” I say. “I can’t seem to convince my body that the night is made for
sleeping yet.”

“I will stay up and help,” Levi volunteers. “There is no way I can sleep after everything
that has happened.”

“That should do it,” Lyon says. “The rest of you can take a shift first thing in the
morning. Just because it will be daylight doesn’t mean there will not be an attack.
Those of you taking night duty, come with me. We must pair you up.”

Lyon rises from the table, a signal for the rest of us that our little respite is
over. We are all quiet and weighed down with the worry of today’s realizations as
we leave the table. George wanders off in the direction of the privy. Jon drops down
by Beau’s side and gives him some scraps from his plate. The rest of the group is
following Lyon, as ordered, except for Pace, who simply looks at me.

“Can we talk?” he asks. Jonah jumps into my chair and with his paw scrapes a scrap
from my plate. I put my plate on the chair to keep him off the table and turn to Pace.

“Yes,” I agree. He takes my hand and leads me toward the ponies while I wonder what
he has to say that takes precedence over the immediate danger that we face. Ghost
whinnies and tosses his head at my approach, and I remember the promise I made to
him this morning, to take him and the rest out for exercise. I spent the day wrapped
up in my own needs and had forgotten about the needs of others. The ponies depend
on me to take care of them, and I’ve been negligent in my duties. I lean over the
pen and stroke his nose while the other ponies crowd around him. At least Rosalyn
remembered them and had the children take them out. Perhaps it is a good thing for
all concerned if I let the children take over their care.

“They love you,” Pace says. He leans against a tree and watches me as I greet each
one by name.

“They’re trying to figure out who I am,” I laugh. “I smell different.”

“You look beautiful,” Pace says quietly. “Unforgettable. I would have liked to have
seen you in the dress.”

The word unforgettable seems strange to me, along with his comments. He must be talking
about my hair. I turn my head and look at Pace. A lamp hangs from a tree branch above
him and the light surrounds his head like a halo. “Who told you about the dress?”

“Alcide.”

“Of course.”

“Things have been strange since we got out,” he continues. “Don’t you think?”

“There’s a lot to get used to,” I say. “So much has changed.”

“Are you going to tell me what happened out there?”

“It depends,” I reply. “Are you going to get angry when I tell you?”

“I got angry because you could have been hurt.”

“But I wasn’t.”

“Because of Levi.”

“Yes.”

He opens his mouth and I prepare myself for his speech on why I shouldn’t have been
out there, but instead he says something that surprises me.

“This isn’t what I expected.”

“Me either,” I confess. “I don’t know what I expected.” Jonah runs to me, sniffs at
my skirt, and then ducks into the pen and trails between the pony’s legs in his meandering
way.

“I expected us to be together,” Pace continues as he moves to stand beside me at the
fence. “It feels like forever since we have been.”

What can I say? There is so much going on. It does seem like forever since we have
been together as we were, sharing everything and not knowing if the next moment would
be our last. Fate threw us together, but since we left the dome it has been more like
habit. It could be because there are so many of us now. We are distracted by those
that are around us. Every day has been a struggle to stay alive. “I know,” I say because
I don’t know where Pace is going with this conversation.

I have to admit some of the distance he feels is because of me. I haven’t shared everything
with him like I did before. There are things I’ve felt and done that I have not mentioned.
It’s because I did not want to change the way he sees me, but now I realize that by
not being completely honest with him I’ve changed things in a way that I don’t understand.
I don’t know how to fix it, and, since I cannot change the past, I keep blundering
ahead and making the same mistakes.

Instead of looking at Pace, I steal a glance at the airship. James, Adam, Alcide,
and Peter all have bows, and I see them flex and test them in the lamplight. Lyon’s
guards have been at their posts since he got back, and they stare out into the darkness
with their guns cradled in their arms. Levi stands on the catwalk with Lyon, waiting
on me. “They are waiting on me,” I add.

“I don’t want you to go.” Pace puts his hand on my arm. I feel the heat of his hand
on my bare skin like a burn.

Now I am really surprised. “You don’t want me to go help? They need us,” I explain.
“They’ve done so much for us, how could I not do what I can to help?”

Pace shakes his head. “Of course we should help. It’s just…” Pace runs his hand through
his hair and stares off into the darkness. “It’s Levi.” He sighs. “I don’t want you
to spend the night with Levi.”

“Spend the night with Levi?” I say. “You make it sound like I’m doing something wrong.
We’re protecting our friends. I’ll be protecting you.”

“I realize that,” Pace says in his patient way that for some reason makes me feel
as if he is patronizing me. “I know that your eyes and your ability to see in the
dark will be a great help tonight. It’s just that I don’t like the way he looks at
you. The way he watches you.” Pace turns me to face him by taking my other arm and
I can clearly see his concern written on his face. “The fact that he’s always asking
questions about you.”

“He is?” As soon as the words come out of my mouth I knew they are the wrong thing
to say. Unfortunately there is no taking them back, and the pain in Pace’s beautiful
blue eyes stabs at my heart.

His temper, along with his pain, caused by me, spouts out. “Isn’t that why you put
on the dress and fixed your hair tonight?” I’ve never seen him angry like this. Especially
not at me. “So Levi would pay attention to you?”

“Pace!” I exclaim, feeling anger along with hurt myself. “What is wrong with you?”

His grip on my arms tightens, and I know when he releases me that there will be marks
on my skin. “I don’t want to lose you, Wren.”

“What makes you think you are going to lose me?” I spout, and then I think about what
he said and become angrier, if that is possible, as memories of James attacking me
in the tunnel come back to haunt me. He treated me like I was his possession. He treated
me badly. “What makes you think you I’m yours to lose?”

“You said you loved me,” Pace explains. “We love each other.”

“So love is about possession? Is that what you’re telling me?”

Pace drops his hands and steps back as if I’d struck him. “No, Wren. No. That’s not
what I meant at all.”

“Well when you figure out what you mean, you let me know,” I say, powered by my anger.
“I’ll be keeping watch until then.” I turn away.

“Wren! Wait!”

I ignore him and keep on going. Jonah runs to catch up with me but I ignore him too.

“Something wrong Wren?” Levi asks as I stomp onto the catwalk.

“I’ll be back as soon as I get my jacket,” I say, ignoring his question.

But yes … something is terribly wrong and I’m not sure if I want to fix it.

20

I
can’t stop thinking
about Pace and the conversation we had. Like the episode in the tunnels with James,
I play it over and over again in my mind, trying to define that exact moment when
things went wrong. I cannot blame Pace for being possessive or jealous. If Zan had
set her eye on him, I know I would feel the same. Yet I cannot help but think he is
imagining the entire thing with Levi, in spite of what Zan told me earlier today.
Levi could not possibly be interested in someone like me. Could he? He knows I am
with Pace. He even asked me about it the day we went hunting.

I steal a look at Levi as we make our way by the light of the moon through the woods
beside the road. Lyon paired me with him because he said we proved we work well together.
I could have said no, but I didn’t want to draw any attention to the fact that Pace
and I are fighting. I also know the real reason he paired me with Levi is because
Levi is the strongest and I am the weakest.

Lyon wants us far enough out that if the rovers do come up on us, the camp will have
plenty of warning. Levi and I are to set up on one side of the trail, with Alcide
and one of the guards on the other. The rest of the pairs are closer in, surrounding
our encampment with a direct line of sight to each other. Levi is heavily armed with
his crossbow, and two pistols and a rifle. The only weapon I have is a flare gun.
Lyon explained that I should point it to the sky and pull the trigger when I see something.
It will serve as a signal to the others and hopefully blind the rovers. He warned
both Alcide, who also has one, and me to cover our eyes when we hear it going up because
the flash might temporarily blind us, which is something I never want to experience
again.

I wish I knew how to use one of Levi’s weapons. While Levi is well-armed, I feel as
if I am more of a hindrance than a help, as our recent experience has proven. At least
Alcide has a bow and his knife. I have nothing since I left my bow around the rover’s
neck.

“This should do it,” Levi says as we stop beside a tree with a double trunk. At some
point in time one of the trunks grew straight out across the ground and then up. It
would take no effort at all to stand on the thick trunk and walk up its length until
it stretches once more to the sky, which Jonah promptly does before settling at the
height of my shoulder with a contented meow. It should be a great perch for spying
down the road. “Can you see Alcide and Willis?” Levi asks.

As I peer through the darkness I hear the sounds of the night come alive around us.
Levi told me the chorus was sung by tiny frogs he called peepers, along with crickets
and night birds, all joining together in their evening celebration. I am used to it
now and think no more of it than I did the turning of the water wheel. I search among
the trees until I see Alcide some fifty feet away on the other side of the road. Alcide
waves at me and I wave back. Then he grins and purses his lips into a kiss and wags
a finger at me. I make a face at him and whirl around, which nearly bumps me into
Levi.