Shadows of Glass (4 page)

I see Pace in the distance, still staring out to sea. In the opposite direction are
Alcide, James, and Adam. I am stuck in the middle between them, a bridge that needs
to be joined in order for all of us to survive. But first some sort of decision has
to be made about the bodies. It is our custom to burn them, and I see no reason why
that should change now.

The children settle in among the ponies. It is a peaceful scene, if one forgets the
tragedies that led up to it. Some of the cats explore the beach while others, including
the one we call Cat, who has adopted me, curl up beside the children.

I look up at the sky that is as black as the tunnels I lived in. Stars spread across
it like dust. This is what remained hidden from us for all of our lives and the lives
of the generations before us. The beauty I’ve seen tonight is beyond anything I imagined.
Yet my father led me to believe that outside was dangerous. It is hard to believe
that this peaceful setting could hold danger, yet I cannot help but think of the weapons
that his agents used and the fact that he traded young women and men to get them.
Could the enemies he feared be watching us? And what about Jon, the boy who was captured
with me and went outside when my father sentenced us both to go? Where is he now?
Is he looking at the sky now and wondering what has happened to all of us in the dome,
or did he take off and get as far away from it as he could?

Alcide leaves Adam and James and walks down the beach. Pace meets him halfway, they
talk for a moment and then come my way, gathering up the lamps and turning them down
as they walk. I conjure up a small smile. At least in all this, I am not alone. I
have someone to lean on. Someone to cling to. Someone to share the wonder of this
new world, along with the grief from the old. If not for him, I would be totally alone.
The least I can do is be patient with him. Understand that he has issues also. That
he is as scared and confused as I am.

“Adam and James will keep watch for the rest of the night,” Alcide says. “We’ll have
services for them in the morning,” he adds. “Perhaps the others will see our smoke
and will find us.” There’s hope behind the weariness of his voice. It’s something
for him to cling to. His family could still be alive. Still, a shiver runs down my
spine at the thought of who else might be out there.

“We should get some rest,” I say. There is no need to invite fear. For now I believe
we are safe on our narrow strip of sandy beach, but I cannot help but dread the coming
of a new day, because I have no idea what it will bring.

Alcide drops on the sand next to a pony and without another word curls up on his side.
Pace and I move off a bit and sit down with our backs against the cliff wall. Even
though it is full night, Pace moves easily, and I realize that he can see fairly well
in this darkness. It is not oppressive like the tunnels. The stars, along with the
lamps, lend the landscape a soft glow of definition.

“We have water to drink … and wash the blood off,” I suggest. He has new bruises,
mingling with the older ones from his first fight with James, and from the beating
he took when he first escaped from the bluecoats who accused him of killing his best
friend.

Pace touches his thumb to the corner of his mouth and winces. “Alcide says we look
about the same.”

“You have to know you can never win against James,” I say. “He never forgets and he
never gives in.”

“As long as he keeps his mouth shut the rest won’t bother me,” Pace says. “He shouldn’t
have said those things about you. Or about me.”

“He didn’t say anything that isn’t true.”

Pace looks out into the darkness for a moment and then nods. “I guess it is just the
way he says it.”

I have no answer for that so I go to get Pace some water. He takes it gratefully when
I return. I wet my kerchief and carefully dab off the blood at the corner of his mouth.
He watches my face as I work and cups my hand in his when I finish. I notice that
his knuckles are bruised also, but he squeezes his fingers over mine before I can
minister to them.

“I’m scared, Wren. I’m not really sure what’s going to happen to us out here. It’s
not what I expected.”

“It’s not what I expected either,” I confess. “Hopefully things will seem better in
the morning.” We lean back against the wall of stone that rises behind us. “I’m sorry
about Pip,” I say as Cat moves next to us. He takes a moment to lick the sand off
his paws before he steps onto Pace’s lap and starts kneading his leg as he purrs.

Pace slides his arm around me. “He’ll be back come daybreak,” he assures me.

“It’s bigger than I expected,” I say as I lean my head against his shoulder.

“What? Outside?”

“Yes,” I say. “I didn’t expect it to be so…”

“Forever?” Pace suggests. “You sound disappointed.”

“I don’t know,” I admit. “Maybe I am.”

“Wren, you can’t blame yourself for all this,” he says.

“I know, but…”

“But no,” Pace says firmly. He shifts so he’s facing me, which disrupts Cat, who meows
indignantly as he stalks a few steps away. Pace places his hands on either side of
my face and stares into my eyes. I cannot help but notice once more how blue his eyes
are even in the darkness that surrounds us. How they change in hue with the light,
or the lack thereof. How I feel like I am staring into his soul when he looks at me.
My shiner eyes have an advantage. I wonder what he sees when he looks into mine. Does
he see my soul when he looks inside, or does he merely see a reflection of what he
thinks I am?

“No matter what James or anyone else says, you are not responsible for the decisions
other people make. And there were several of them made that led to this. Some of them
were right and some of them were wrong. Yes, there were lives lost. You are no more
at fault for those than I am.”

I appreciate what he’s saying, more so for the reason why he’s saying it. He cares
for me, deeply, so he doesn’t want me to hurt. And because I do not want him to hurt,
I nod as if I agree with him.

I don’t like lying, I never have, yet it is something I’ve done a lot of lately, almost
like I’m making a habit of it. Is protecting people from the truth worth it? Should
we lie to the people we love because we don’t want them to get hurt? Pace lies to
me and I lie to him. But it makes him feel better to think he’s made me feel better,
so I do it. I lied to my grandfather because I didn’t want to hurt him, and he ended
up dead and he knew I’d lied. It’s a never-ending circle and I don’t know how to find
my way out of it. So I smile at Pace and nod.

Pace smiles his sweet smile, nods his agreement with me, and leans against the cliff
wall once more. I lower my head to his shoulder and look out over the water. The sound
of the tide lapping against the sand is a lot like the creaking of the water wheel
back home. I slowly close my eyes and let it lull me into a temporary peace that I
know will be gone come morning. For the first time since I can remember I am not looking
forward to the light coming to my world.

3

The light wakes me
. For a long moment, while I lie in that state between dreams and awareness, I think
I am on top of the buildings beneath the dome waiting for the light to come, as I
did every morning before. The sounds are different however. There is no constant roar
of the fans, or the
clank-clank
of chains from the workers riding their baskets up to clean the dome. Instead there
is a strange quietness that is unsettling. I sit up with a start as the happenings
of the past day catch up with me. The light is faint, like the dome on one of the
worst days, more a hint of what is to come than the actual gift of morning.

I stand and slowly turn a circle, fascinated with the new sights before me. I look
up the cliff wall and see that it isn’t flat, like I originally thought. Instead there
is a trail that gently slopes upward, much like the tunnels we used to inhabit beneath
the earth. The height is higher than the dome, but not by much. At the top I see a
platform that juts out over the cliff wall, with iron girders beneath it and a strange
and twisted contraption atop it. The look of it makes me think that it was built around
the time of our dome.

The beach where I stand is blocked on both sides by the cliff that curves outward
and into the sea. I suppose with the tides we might be able to get around it. I think
that the trail up the cliff might be our best chance. There have to be other survivors,
somewhere.

The children are all asleep, as are Pace and Alcide. The ponies are awake but peaceful,
waiting for me to tell them what to do next. Cat stretches and yawns beside me and
stalks off, sniffing at the sand as he goes. I notice the rest of the cats are scattered
about the beach curiously sniffing at the sand and pawing at the surf. One splashes
in and quickly retreats with a small fish in its mouth. Another one chases a crab
into a hole, and tiny birds on long legs skip ahead of the rest of them as if they
are running a race. The cats have quickly adapted. I can only hope that we can do
the same. The issue of food is foremost in my mind at the moment. The children will
be hungry when they wake, as will the ponies.

I look down the beach and see James and Adam on the same side of the cavern as me.
I wonder if any more bodies came down during the night. Adam sits with his head against
the cliff wall with his eyes closed. He looks tired and defeated. I am afraid for
him. Afraid that without Peggy he will just give up.

The sea looks much as it did the night before: a flat surface with a gentle swell
of the tide as it slowly laps against the sand. In the distance I hear the sound of
cries, but I can’t identify the source. It could be birds, or it could be someone.
It is too far away for me to know for certain. Things litter the beach, bits of wood,
formerly tables and chairs or perhaps even doors and the water wheel, all of it washed
down from our village that no longer exists.

The world is awash in shades of grays and blues and the sky is brightening, much like
the dome, yet more wondrous, the colors muted, yet vibrant. This beauty has been hidden
from me my entire life, and I hope I never take it for granted. My body yearns for
the light to come, as it has become a habit with me. I ache to see the new wonders
that this world has to offer. I still feel the responsibility of all those lives that
were lost. I desperately need to see something, or feel something, that will make
me realize that their sacrifice has some value. I still fear it is too steep a price
to pay.

A familiar chirp rings out, then a flutter of wings. Pip flits around my face and
settles on my shoulder. It isn’t exactly the sign I was looking for, but it cheers
me to see him. Pip holds something in his beak, and he tilts his head back and forth
until I hold my palm beneath him and he drops it into my hand. It is nothing more
than a sliver of something soft. I pick it up carefully, afraid that I will lose it.
It is deep green in color and I hold it under my nose. The smell reminds me of the
leaves on the rooftop trees within the dome.

“What is it?” I ask the bright yellow canary. He blinks his bead of an eye at me and
glides to where Pace still lies in sleep. One of the cats looks at him like he’s planning
his next meal, and I stomp my feet in the sand to dissuade him. Cat stalks over to
Pace and takes a position next to him while Pip nips delicately at his shirt button.

Pace shifts and his eyes open. A wide grin spreads across his face when he sees Pip.
“I told you he’d be back,” he says as he sits up.

“He brought a gift too,” I reply. I hand him the wisp that Pip dropped in my palm.
The morning has brightened enough that Pace can see too. He runs a fingertip over
it and smiles.

“It’s a blade of grass,” he says. He looks at Ghost and the rest of the ponies beyond.
“Sweet grass for you to eat.”

“Send him back out,” Alcide, who has yet to open his eyes, says grumpily. “See if
he can find something for us to eat too.”

I can’t help but laugh and the sound stirs the children. They wake with sleepy eyes
and confused faces. The littlest one, Stella, cries. “I want my mommy,” she says and
I go to her. I pick her up and soothe her as best I can.

“We’ll see if we can find her,” I say and look helplessly at Pace.

“Boys this way,” he says and tilts his head down the beach.

“I’m hungry,” one of the little boys grumbles.

“We’ll see what we can find,” Alcide says, and the two of them lead the boys down
the beach away from us.

Nancy climbs to her feet and takes a young girl’s hand in each of hers. The other
two follow me and we go behind the ponies to give us some semblance of privacy as
we squat in the sand and then cover it up in the same way that the cats do. I try
to keep a cheerful face in front of the little girls. They are still sleepy, probably
hungry, and very much confused. I know exactly how they feel.

The light around us is brighter now and the sky is streaked once more with color.
The cliff above us blocks the sun and the air is chilly without the heavy dampness
of the earth that we are used to. A breeze tugs at my hair and I comb it back with
my fingers and tie it up with my bandana. I am not one to worry about my appearance
much, not that it matters now. At the moment there are much more pressing things to
think about.

Pace, Alcide, and the boys join us once more. Adam and James stand up and stretch
away the weariness of their night. Decisions need to be made.

“There’s a trail up,” James says as a greeting when we all gather together.

“I saw it,” I reply.

Pip sits on Pace’s shoulder as he looks up and studies the cliff wall. James shakes
his head, more than likely disgusted at Pace’s love for the little bird. Since the
sky has brightened, a plume of gray smoke is visible now against the blue shades of
the sky. “That must be from the dome,” Pace says.