Shalia's Diary (14 page)

Good God, I have such a headache.  It nearly killed me to go out this morning to put Mom on the shuttle for her daycare.  Just that little bit of sunlight sent blades of glass through my skull.  Shalia and large amounts of wine do not mix well.

Dusa and Esak did not message me yesterday.  I guess they’ve given up.  Now I really am alone. 

Why am I even doing this to myself?  The other Earthers have made it clear they want nothing to do with me.  A priest named Father Lucas is the only person who will sit with Mom if I’m not present for meals.  So far he hasn’t said anything to upset her, and Weln has been paying very careful attention to that.  But the P.T. are definitely keeping their distance, and Father Lucas stays away if I’m around.

It’s become apparent I will remain on the outside of Club Earther.  So why shouldn’t I go ahead and do the things they all think I’m doing anyway?  What’s the point of being the person they demand of me if I never receive absolution for my supposed sins?

I am tired of this.  I might as well do what I want since I’ve been tried and convicted already.  I’m going to message Commander Nang and let him know I’ll do the presentation after all ... if he’ll let me.  I’ll spend the day working on that once more.  Then after Mom is tucked in bed and snoozing away, I’m going to visit Dusa and Esak.  Yes, I am well aware of what could possibly happen.  No, I don’t give a fuck anymore.  They make me feel good.  No one else does. 

But first, I’m going to call Dr. Dad Nayun and see if he can give me something for this splitting headache.

September 19

Oh boy.  I don’t even know where to start except to say that I had sex with Dusa!!!!!!!!!  And it was amazing!!!!!!!!!

Wow.  Just wow.  If I had known it could be like that, I would have run to him the first time I ever saw him.  I would have flung off all my clothes and jumped on him right then and there in the middle of the street.

Exactly as I’d planned, as soon as Mom started snoring I went out to find my sweet knight in black formsuit.  I’d earlier learned where the dorm is that he and Esak are quartered.  I had a bit of a walk, but it wasn’t too hot outside for a change.  I wasn’t standing in a puddle of sweat when I got there, at any rate.

I knocked on the door, at another dorm in another building reserved just for Kalquorians.  Dusa answered a moment later and stared at me.  His hair was wet, running like black ink down his naked chest.  He wore this thing low on his hips that looked sort of like a towel made into a skirt.  It only went as far as to the middle of his thighs, so I found myself looking at a whole lotta Dramok.  My mouth dropped so far open I was surprised it didn’t bounce off my toes.  Dusa was all muscle; damp, shiny muscle.  I assume he’d just showered.

I never saw him move.  The next second I was in the room with him, and the door slammed shut behind me.  His arms closed around my body, and we kissed and kissed like we were long-lost lovers.

Between kisses, Dusa kept moaning my name over and over.  “Shalia.  Shalia.”  He kept repeating it like he couldn’t believe I was there.  Hell, I couldn’t believe I was either, but I was damned glad to be.

He pulled at my clothes, making me all too aware of his hot, naked skin moving against mine.  My blouse and skirt disappeared into thin air as if by magic.  Poof!  Yours truly was down to her bra and panties.  The bra didn’t last long either.

Dusa laid me on the one bed in the room.  I had an instant to think about there being only one bed for two Kalquorian men, but seeing Dusa standing over me made such thoughts kind of fly away.  I did manage to ask, “Where’s Esak?”

“Still on double shifts.”  Dusa looked me over and groaned.  His towel skirt tented pretty tremendously.  “Shalia,” he said for the millionth time.

He sat on the edge of the bed.  His hands settled on my upper chest, just above my breasts.  He had such a warm touch.  His hands slowly stroked down,  moving that heat until I arched into his palms.  Feeling him touch my breasts, warming them, rubbing them gently ... I’m getting wet all over again just remembering his hands on me.

“You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

I reached up to touch him too.  I traced my fingertips over all those hills and dimples of his body, mapping muscle none of the other men I’d ever touched had possessed.  His shoulders and arms and chest were chiseled as beautifully as any statue ever carved.  It was a revelation.  Dusa’s body was like granite, all hard with strength.  Yet his skin felt as soft as velvet.  I’d never touched anything so decadently sumptuous before.

Meanwhile he caressed my breasts, testing to see what I liked.  His firm grip made me gasp.  Tracing the areolas with a calloused fingertip wetted by his mouth had me squirming.  Gentle pinches of the swollen tips made me whimper his name.  Every sensation bolted from his touch down to my pussy.  For the first time in my life I actually wanted to have real sex, penetration and all.  I could kind of feel my heartbeat down there, just surging and getting stronger all the time.  My sex felt hot, like Dusa’s hands. 

He bent down, his mouth opening to take my breast in.  His mouth felt so wet.  The way he pulled on me was gentle, kind of like how I imagined a baby might suckle.  Dusa was definitely not as overpowering as when Nang sucked my breasts.  I’m not sure which way I liked better, but at that moment Dramok Nang existed nowhere in my thoughts.  It was all Dusa, sucking so tenderly and teasing me with the tip of his tongue.

I wrapped my arms around his head to trap him there.  It felt so good.  My insides melted like butter over a hot skillet.  He obligingly moved back and forth between my breasts, making me groan and writhe all over the place. 

Then he reached behind his head to grab my wrists.  I made some protesting sound, not quite remembering how to form words.  His eyes turned dark as he looked at me.  For the first time since I’d met Dusa, he actually looked a little dangerous.  I had the weirdest reaction to that stare.  A moment of sheer terror stabbed through my chest.  At the same time I felt a spear of pure need plunge into my gut.  Caught off guard by the whole thing, I let him pin my arms to the bed.

“Lie very still, now Shalia,” Dusa told me.  His voice sounded deeper than usual, kind of growly like he’d transformed from man to animal.  “I want to make you feel good, but you must let me have control.”

He wanted to make me feel good?  I’d never felt this good with a man before.  I couldn’t imagine it feeling any better than it already did.  Boy, was I ever in for a surprise.

Dusa stood and moved to the foot of the bed.  He reached forward, his fist closing around the top of my panties.  His gaze held mine the entire time, and I couldn’t look away from that stare.  It was as if he’d hypnotized me.  He slowly pulled my underwear down, making me naked.

I didn’t like sex, so I don’t know why the heat in my stomach surged as he peeled the wet fabric from my pussy.  More than ever I thought how much I wanted him inside me, as ludicrous as it seemed.

Dusa stripped my panties away.  I could hear them tear with a soft purring sound as he forced them off my body.  Then they were gone and I laid utterly exposed to him.

He climbed up on the bed, pushing my legs apart so he could kneel between them.  He finally released me from that fierce gaze to look at my sex.  He licked his lips and a groan fell from them.  “Sacred Mother of All,” he breathed. 

He kind of fell on me.  Not a real fall, but he went down awful fast.  I didn’t have a chance to realize what he was doing until his mouth was on me down there, licking and sucking at my juices like a man dying of thirst. 

I had an instant of shock.  No one had ever done such a thing to me before.  It’s supposed to be dirty, and the men who’d had me before had certainly not put their lips anywhere near that area.  Despite their insistence on shoving their cocks in me, I had the distinct idea they found a woman’s sex to be disgusting.  I kind of had that notion myself, so Dusa going oral was not something I’d expected. 

Then I felt that rough silk tongue stroke over the folds of my flesh, and every thought blasted from my mind.

How can I describe the sensation of Dusa’s mouth on me?  So many words come to mind now, some that contradict each other.  Raw.  Animal.  Soft.  Sensual.  Ecstasy.  Agony.  Bliss.  I could fill pages of a book and never scratch the surface of how it truly felt.

I don’t think Dusa missed one bit of me there.  And then when his tongue found that little bud of flesh at the top of my slit ... oh dear God.  I nearly jumped right off the bed.  It was like delicious lightning blasting through my pussy.  Okay, so I don’t know how lightning can be delicious.  But how the hell do you describe what he did to me?  It was crazy.  I yelled and jumped a mile.

Dusa grabbed me and held me down.  He was all over my clitoris at that point, holding my thighs against his shoulders with my legs kicking up in the air over his head.  I couldn’t get him off me, and the lightning hit so hard it almost hurt.  My insides twisted and turned and flipped inside out.  I couldn’t breathe for the pressure and I was desperate for it to pop, like a balloon.

Dusa relented just as I thought I would rip his hair out of his head.  I had big handfuls of it and I was holding on for dear life.  Then I felt pressure at my entrance.  I tightened up and froze.

Dusa stopped what he was doing and looked up at me.  “Shalia?  What’s wrong?”

I didn’t know how to answer him.  Everything he’d done felt spectacular, but feeling his fingers there wanting to go into where others had used me ... it made me feel scared.

I opened my mouth, thinking I’d tell him some of that.  What came out was, “Don’t hurt me.”

He blinked.  “Shalia, I would never harm you.”  A frown crossed his features.  “Who did?”

“All of them.”  My insides still rioted, but I was near tears.  I wanted to be with Dusa, and I trusted him.  Why was I so afraid?

Dusa slowly rose up and moved so his face hovered over mine.  “Hush, sweet Shalia.  You have nothing to fear from me.”

His mouth lowered onto mine.  Needing the reassurance, I opened to his kiss and tasted something strange.  Sweetish, salty musk.  It took a moment to realize it was my own flavor on Dusa’s lips.  It was definitely startling, but not gross.  Not dirty or disgusting.  It was me.  Fascinated by this discovery, I relaxed into the embrace.

I felt his fingers moving against me again, easing their way into my sex.  I stiffened again, and he paused.  Breaking the kiss, Dusa looked me in the eyes.  “Easy, Shalia.  Relax.  Trust me.”

I bit my lip.  Surely sex with my sweet Kalquorian wouldn’t be any worse than it had been with the others.  After all, I actually wanted to be with Dusa.  So I took a deep breath and made my body go lax beneath his.

“Good girl,” he praised, and I warmed to hear the approval.  His fingers crept deeper inside, aided by the flow of juices that my attack of nerves had not dammed up in the least.  Even so, he was careful, not hurting me. 

“Okay,” I said.  “I’m okay.”  I wasn’t sure if I was telling him or myself.

“That’s right.  You’re perfectly fine.  Just keep looking at me.  It’s not any of the others who harmed you.  You know I’ll take care of you.”

All the while as Dusa spoke he kept filling me, his two fingers going deeper, deeper until his palm met my pussy.  The heel of his hand brushed my clit, and slivers of pleasure ran through my groin.  He stopped there and waited, giving me time to assess the situation.

I felt not too full, certainly not like when it was an actual cock ramming in and out of me.  Not uncomfortable either.  I thought it felt kind of ... right. 

Dusa kissed me again, his tongue twining all about mine.  Meanwhile, his fingers slid out and in, out and in.  Smooth and easy.  Slow and careful.  More of my tension fled.  It even started to feel kind of good.  He began to apply tender pressure to the front of my sheath as he worked my accepting flesh.  He found one particular spot where the pressure gave me a warm sensation, and my hips raised a little.  I wanted more pressure there.  I shifted and...

And BOOM.  I got a surge of the most intense pleasure that I’d ever known.  I yelped right into Dusa’s mouth.

He broke the kiss and smiled at me.  “Did you find something you like?”

“What ... what was that?” I gasped.  Cause I sure wouldn’t have minded more of it.

“Why don’t we find out?” Dusa asked.  He moved his fingers inside me, applying more force than before.  His fingertips found that hot spot again.

It was like a thunderclap of excitement.  I arched beneath Dusa in reaction, my heels digging into the bed.  I held onto his shoulders, sure I would fly apart in little pieces.  I yelled.

“That’s better,” my lover chuckled.  “Much, much better.”

I couldn’t answer because Dusa kept thrusting against that place where I felt like molten lava.  His palm brushed my clitoris with every stroke, adding to the mini-eruptions that made me seize inside.  I moved against him instinctively, my body driving harder and harder as the sensations only grew stronger.  I had no control.  I wasn’t even sure of what I was doing.  I only knew it felt tremendous and got better every moment. 

“Good, Shalia.  Let it happen.  Don’t fight it.”

I had no idea what he urged me to do.  All I knew was how amazing he made me feel.  Pleasure continued to mount steadily, and I gasped for breath.  I felt like I reached for something, trying to attain some goal, some ephemeral peak of this all engulfing bliss that seized me.

Then there was a flash of brightness that started from my sex.  I hovered in the breathless space of an elation I can’t even begin to describe.  It billowed forth, suffusing the all of me, taking away my awareness of everything but an incredible paradise of feeling.  Next came a tremendous release of all tension, sweeping outward, leaving my body for the briefest instant before gathering inside my belly for another pulse.

The spasms happened over and over, slowly dwindling in strength until I realized I still lay on Dusa’s bed, lying beneath him as he gently kissed the whole of my face.  “Good, Matara, good,” he murmured, like a proud parent praising his child.

I slowly realized what had happened.  I had experienced an orgasm, one every bit as tremendous as what the men I’d been with had felt.  Perhaps more so.  I lay there, catching my breath as the sweet convulsions slowed, leaving me feeling warm and complete inside.

I stared at Dusa with wide eyes.  “That’s never happened to me before,” I whispered.

Warring emotions flitted across his face.  He looked proud and happy and upset all at the same time.  His eyes went unnaturally bright.  He swallowed and said, “I am glad I was able to give you your first.  But I am sorry you’ve had to wait so long to experience it.”

I fought to gather my still-scattered thoughts.  “I had no idea.  That was incredible.”

“Are you ready to do it again?”

I looked at Dusa, my brain stuttering to a halt.  “Again?”

Dusa kissed me long and slow.  My sated body suddenly wasn’t so sated after all.  His fingers left the interior of my pussy and made large strokes all over my lower bits.  The other hand caressed my breasts, bringing pleasant, soft waves of pleasure through me.

Meanwhile, his thumb settled on my clitoris and drew lazy circles around it.  I moaned and writhed.  His fingers, soaked from my juices, continued to play within my folds.  Even my anus was in the path of his dancing fingertips.

A digit zeroed in on that most taboo of orifices.  It drew a ring around it, the same as his thumb played all around my clit.  I felt a little uncomfortable with that kind of attention.  If anything ranked as a monstrous sin in the old Church, it was anything to do with that particular body part.  But it didn’t feel bad.  Okay, I’ll admit it:  I found it kind of arousing.  Part of me wanted to make him stop.  But when I thought of how he’d found that special place inside my pussy and how good that little experiment had turned out, I was willing to dare something naughtier.  So I made no protest, simply letting him touch me there and absorbing the warm sensations that came from it.

Dusa broke the kiss and stared into my eyes.  “Do you trust me?”

I nodded.  “Yes, Dusa.  I do trust you.”

“Good.”

His questing finger settled on my back entrance.  It pushed, forging inside me, aided by my own juices.  I gasped, not truly believing he was putting his finger in there. 

“Dusa!”  I wriggled, trying to get him out.

“You said you trusted me, Shalia.”  He sounded disappointed in me, and that stilled my struggles.

“But – but – that’s the bad place,” I said.  I sounded as immature as a five-year old, but I couldn’t help it.

“Not to my people,” he said.  His finger had gotten all the way in, and it twisted and moved around.  It wasn’t a terrible feeling.  Okay, it wasn’t even bad.  But it sure was weird.

“Dusa, Earthers don’t like to do stuff with that part.”  Damn, I was getting mad with myself for sounding so childish.  “We do not stick things up our asses.”  There.  Much better.

He cocked an eyebrow at me.  “If you and I are to be together, you need to be stretched.”

As if to underscore the point, he stuffed another finger in me.  I felt really full back there now.  Again, it wasn’t bad.  Just strange.

Apparently, Dusa and I had very different ideas on what constituted sex.  While his fingers rotated around, creating more oddly pleasurable sensations, I told him, “Look, I’m willing for you to put your cock in my pussy.  I am not prepared for you to shove it up my ass.”

“That’s why I’m doing this.  I’m preparing you.”

“Dusa, you’re not understanding me.  I don’t want you to put it up there.  It’s unnatural.”

He snickered.  “For someone who made vids about us to warn your people about our evils, you are terribly uninformed about the part that would have really scared everyone off.”

I scowled at him, trying not to notice that the pressure up my bum was actually starting to turn me on.  “What are you talking about?  I never claimed to have a clue as to what your kind really are.”

Dusa grinned and dropped a quick kiss on my nose before rising to kneel between my legs.  His fingers slid from my back end.  “Shalia, there is one very important difference between Kalquorian men and Earther men.  Before I show you that difference I’m going to ask you again; do you trust me to not harm you?”

I frowned at him.  His repeated asking of that question made me nervous.  On the other hand, I missed his weight on my body.  I missed his touch too.  And I really, really wanted another orgasm.  Plus I did trust Dusa.

So I told him so.  He nodded and raised up on his knees, unfastening the waist of his towel skirt.  He pulled it free and tossed it aside.  Then he waited for my reaction.

My first thought was that I’d gotten so nervous that I saw double.  He had two erections.  Two.  Two tapered cocks, bullet-shaped.  Not side by side, but one under the other.  I blinked hard to make one go away.  But when I opened my eyes again, there were still two cocks.  Two big, hard, brown cocks.

Oh hell.  Now I knew why he had prepared my butt.  The underneath cock ... the smaller one ... was meant to go there.  I’d thought sex with just one was a trial.  Now I had offered myself to a man who possessed two.

It was bad enough Dusa was double-donged, or whatever you’d call it.  The front cock, the one obviously meant for my pussy, was bigger than any prick I’d ever seen before.  How could he not hurt me with that thing?  Suddenly I started crying again.

Dusa leaned forward and kissed me all over my face, murmuring, “No Shalia, it’s all right.  Don’t be afraid.  It’s okay.”

“You’ve got two!  And they’re big!  It’s going to hurt, Dusa.  It has to!”

“No, no.  Maybe a small ache at first, but I will be very careful.  Very gentle.  You will like it, my pretty.  I promise.”

I wanted to believe him.  After all, the other men had not been gentle.  They’d simply shoved in and fucked me hard until they’d spilled.  The only kindness had been that most of them were quick.  I knew Dusa would be as tender as he promised, but he was so damned huge.

“I’m scared.  I want you to be happy too, but you’re too big.  I can’t take something like that.”

He continued to kiss me.  “We’ll go very slowly.  You’ll have plenty of time to adjust.  If it is truly too much, I will stop.”

I blinked at him, rivers streaming from my eyes.  “You will?  You really will stop if I ask you to?”

Dusa smiled at me.  “Of course I will.  How could I possibly enjoy it if you do not as well?”

That settled me a little.  He cared about my liking what we did?  That was definitely a new development.  No one else had ever given a shit.

Dusa chuckled.  “Silly girl.  Sex is no good unless we both find pleasure.”

I had personally known nearly half a dozen men who might differ with him on that.  But Dusa’s attitude made me want to attempt it more than ever.

“Okay,” I said.  “I’ll try.”

His eyes narrowed.  “I wish you felt more enthusiasm for having me joined to you.  Shalia, do you know about my fangs?”

I nodded.  “Kalquorians use them to inject an intoxicating venom into their enemies to incapacitate them.  To subdue them.”  To rape them as well, according to the official government mantra.