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“I remember,” Roman replied.

“Do I need to give him more pain meds?”

“No.  The stuff I gave him will last
twenty-four hours.  I’ll be back tomorrow to give him another shot, okay?”

“Okay.”

“In the meantime, if you need anything,
just text me.  The hospital is only fifteen minutes away.”

“I’ll be fine, Roman.  Stop worrying.”

He hesitated.  “I asked Riley if you were
in danger from the people who shot him and he said no.”

“Thanks, honey.”

“Do you believe him?”

“Yes.  He wouldn’t deliberately put me in
danger.”

“Mads, you can’t possibly know that.  You
hardly know this guy.”

“I know enough,” I said firmly.  “Go,
honey.  You don’t want to be late.”

* * *

I heard his cries even from the office
downstairs.  I ran up the stairs and into my bedroom, my heart thudding erratically
at the sound of pain and fear in his voice, and climbed on to the bed.

“Riley, honey, it’s okay.  Shh, it’s okay,”
I whispered into his ear.

“Andrea?”  He moaned.  “Oh please, no,
Andrea.”

Every hair on my body tried to stand up at
the pure terror in his voice.  He was beginning to thrash and, afraid he would
rip the stitches, I pressed my body up against his uninjured side and wrapped
my arm firmly around him.

“Wake up, Riley.  Please wake up.  Come on,
open your eyes.”

After what seemed like an eternity his
eyelids fluttered open and he gave me a dazed look of incomprehension. 
“Maddie?”

“Yeah, it’s me.  You’re okay.  You were
having a bad dream.”

He was shuddering wildly and I stroked his
arm soothingly and kissed his forehead.  “You’re fine.  Take a few deep
breaths.”

“Fine,” he repeated shakily.

“That’s right.”  I smiled at him and then
squeaked in surprise when he lifted his head and pressed his mouth against
mine.  He kissed me hungrily and my arm tightened around him.  He groaned in
pain and I pushed away from him.

“Riley!  I’m sorry.  Are you okay?”

“Fine, kitten.  Come back here.”  He tried
to grin cockily at me but there was a haunted look in his eyes and his body was
still shivering.

I shook my head.  “No, you need rest to
heal properly.”

“I need you to heal properly.”

“Flattering but inaccurate,” I said.  I
stroked his bare chest as he stared silently at me.

“How do you feel?”

“Fine.  What time is it?”

He didn’t look fine.  He looked pale and
afraid and I squeezed his shoulder.  “Just before five.  Do you want something
to eat?”

“I have to piss.”

“Roman brought a urinal from the hospital.”

He shook his head as I showed him the
plastic container.  “I am not pissing into that.”

“Riley, getting up probably isn’t a – “

“I don’t care.  Help me sit up, Maddie, or
I’ll hold it until my fucking bladder explodes.”

“You’re being an idiot, you know that,
right?”  I said.

“Yes.  Help me up.”

I pulled the covers back, studiously
avoiding looking at his dick before sliding my hands behind his back and,
bracing my legs, pulling steadily.  He groaned as he sat up, one hand pressing
against his side, and cursed under his breath as I helped him swing his legs
over the side of the bed.

“Change your mind?”  I asked.

He shook his head.  “Just give me a
minute.”

I waited patiently as he sat with his head
bowed.  After a few moments, he nodded to me.  “Ready.”

“On three,” I said.  I counted to three and
heaved him to his feet.  He weaved unsteadily for a moment and I slid my arm
around his waist.

“Riley, I really wish you would just – “

“I’m fine, Maddie,” he said grimly.  “Let’s
go.”

Moving slowly we shuffled to my small
master bathroom.  I helped him into the room and then, at his insistence,
stepped back into the bedroom and closed the door.  I waited until I heard the
toilet flush before opening the door.  He was staring at himself in the mirror
and he rubbed his hand over his face.

“I could really use a shower.”

I shook my head.  “You can’t get your wound
wet.”

He made a grimace of disgust as I reached
into the medicine cabinet and pulled out a new toothbrush.  “Here.”

“Thanks.”  He glanced at the shower.  “I’ll
be quick.”

“No,” I said firmly.  “Tomorrow.”

“You could give me a sponge bath,” he said.

“I’m not a nurse.”

“I know.  You’re a fancy lawyer.”

“Not that fancy.”  I glanced at my t-shirt
and yoga pants as Riley gave me a hopeful look.

“I stink, kitten.”

“Yeah, you do.”

He waited and I sighed loudly.  “Wait
here.  I’ll be right back.”

He was just finishing brushing his teeth
when I returned with an armful of towels and a chair from the kitchen.  I set
it in front of the vanity and placed towels on the floor.  I helped him to sit
down before placing a folded towel across the front of the counter.

“Can you lean back?”

He did, wincing a little, and rested his
neck against the towel, his head hanging over the sink basin. 

“Good.”  I reached for the shampoo and used
a cup to soak his short hair with water.  As I poured some shampoo on his head
and massaged his scalp, he groaned loudly.

“I’m sorry.  Is it too painful?”

“No, it feels really good.”

I rubbed gently as he closed his eyes. 
“Where’s your fruitcake friend?”

My hands stilled in his hair and he opened
his eyes, recoiling a little at the look of fury on my face.

“One, that
fruitcake
saved your life
and two, his name is Roman and he’s my best friend.  I will not tolerate any
gay bashing and if you’re a goddamn homophobe this fucking ends now.  You can
get dressed and leave my house.  Do you hear me?”

“I’m sorry.”

I relaxed a little at the sincerity in his
voice and started to scrub his scalp again.

“I’m not a homophobe, Maddie.  I swear.”

“Good.”

I rinsed his hair and helped him to
straighten before wetting his upper body and using a washcloth and soap to
scrub the dirt and blood from his skin.

I worked silently, trying to ignore the
ridiculous tendrils of lust starting in my belly, and he cleared his throat. 
“Where is Roman?”

“He had a shift at the hospital.  He’ll be
back tomorrow to check on you and give you more pain meds.”

“I don’t want them,” he said immediately as
I pressed a towel against the bandage on his wound.

“Hold this.” 

He rested his hand against the towel and I
rinsed his upper body clean.

“Call him and tell him I don’t need them.”

“I won’t.  You do need them.”

“I don’t,” he insisted.

I shook my head as I squatted and washed
his lower legs.  “You do.  You don’t have to be a tough guy around me, Riley.”

He didn’t reply and I scrubbed at his upper
thighs.  “Seriously.  You were shot and it has to be incredibly painful.  Why
be in pain if you don’t have to be?  It’s one thing to try and – “

My breath caught in my throat.  Riley’s
cock was stiffening and I swallowed down my urge to lean forward and take it
into my mouth.

“Behave yourself,” I admonished as I rinsed
his legs clean.

“I can’t help it,” he said.

“You can.” 

I poured water on his crotch and, taking a
deep breath, rubbed my hands with soap before gently grasping his dick.  He
moaned and I bit my lip as I stroked him lightly. 

“That feels really fucking good, kitten,”
he said hoarsely.

“I’m not doing this to make you feel good,”
I muttered.  “I’m giving you a bath, nothing more.”

“No?  So why aren’t you using the washcloth
to clean my dick?”  He asked.

I glanced up, my face burning, and
swallowed heavily at the look of desire on Riley’s face.

“Why don’t you take off those damn pants
and climb on, Maddie.  I know what you need,” he whispered persuasively.

My hand tightened around his cock and he
groaned before reaching out and cupping the back of my head.  “I want to fuck
you again, kitten.”

I was tempted, fuck was I tempted, but I
shook my head, dislodging his hand, and let go of his dick.  “You’ve been injured,
Riley.”

“That’s never stopped me from fucking
before.”

“You’ve been shot before?”  I asked as I
reached for the cup and, my hands trembling noticeably, rinsed his crotch.

“No but I have very good pain tolerance. 
Besides, it’ll be worth it to feel your tight little pussy riding my dick
again.”

I dried him with the towel, perhaps a bit
more roughly than I intended, as he stared up at me.

“I can’t, Riley.”

“Because of your dickhead fiancé?”  He
asked.

I twitched in surprise.  It had been three
months since I had spoken to Jordan but I had spent more than my fair share of
hours rehashing our four-year relationship in my head.  Of course, I hadn’t
thought of him once since Riley had shown up on my doorstep wounded and
bleeding.  It wasn’t that I wanted Jordan back but I had spent a lot of time
obsessing over my failure at having a normal relationship.  What had been wrong
with me that I couldn’t see what was so obviously right in front of my face?

Maybe he wasn’t gay before you.  Maybe
having to sleep with you turned him gay
, my inner
voice whispered.

I knew that thought was ridiculous but it
didn’t stop it from creeping into my head on a daily basis.  At least, that
was, until Riley had staggered back into my life.

“Maddie?”

“He’s not my fiancé anymore.”

“Because you fucked me?”

“No,” I said briefly.  “Here, you need to
go back to bed.  You’re pale as a sheet and you need more sleep.”

“I’m fine,” he said. 

He winced as I helped him to his feet and I
slipped my arm around his waist, being careful not to touch his bandaged side.

“Yes, I know,” I said a bit irritably. 
“But you’re still going back to bed.”

I helped him back to the bed and tucked the
covers around him.  “I’m going to bring you some soup, okay?”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Riley, you need to eat.”

“I can’t, not now,” he said wearily. 

I studied him nervously.  He suddenly looked
exhausted and sick to his stomach and I brushed my hand against his forehead
searching for a fever.  He was cool to the touch and I squeezed his shoulder as
he stared up at me.

“Get some sleep, Riley.”

A boyish look of fear crossed his face for
a split second.  “I don’t want to.”

He yawned hugely and shook his head to
clear it as his eyelids drifted shut.  “I don’t want to, Maddie.  Please don’t
make me.”

“I don’t think you have much choice,” I
said gently.

“I don’t – I can’t stand the nightmares,”
he muttered and goosebumps broke out on my skin at the terror in his voice.

“What nightmares, honey?”  I leaned over him
and stroked his cheek. 

“Andrea,” he sighed as his eyes closed
again.

When I straightened, his eyes popped open
and he stared blearily at me as he groped for my hand.  “Please don’t leave me,
Maddie.”

“I won’t.”  I pressed my lips against his
forehead before climbing into the bed next to him and wrapping my arm around
his upper chest.  “Go to sleep, Riley.  I’m right here.”

R
iley

Her scent surrounded me and I breathed
deeply, a smile crossing my lips.  She was all soft curves and warmth against
my body and I opened my eyes and carefully turned my head.  It was early
morning and I studied her face in the soft light that filtered through the
blinds.

Fuck, she was gorgeous.  Everything about
her just about set me on fire and I touched her soft hair lightly before
tracing my fingers across her pale cheek.  The pain in my side was worse this
morning but the tiredness was gone.  For the first time in days I had slept
well.

My eyes widened.  I had slept well last
night.  I had slept all night and hadn’t been jerked awake, sweating and
afraid, by a single nightmare.  That hadn’t happened since the day I found Andrea. 

It was the drugs, I decided.  The drugs had
knocked me out and kept the nightmares at bay.

Are you sure?  You had a nightmare earlier. 
Maybe it isn’t the drugs but the woman lying next to you.

I snorted softly.  Maddie might make my
dick stand at attention every time I goddamn looked at her but I barely knew
her.  I wasn’t about to get all fucking sentimental about her just because I
shared her bed and didn’t have a nightmare.  It was a coincidence, nothing
more.

Whatever, asshole.

I blocked out my inner voice and gently
cupped her breast through her shirt.  She was wearing a bra and I scowled
irritably as I squeezed lightly.  She moaned in her sleep, a ridiculously sweet
sound, and I squeezed her breast again as she stirred in the bed.

I tried to shift on my side and pain shot
through me.  I groaned and her eyes opened and she sat up straight, knocking my
hand away.

“Riley?  What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” I said.  I reached out and
cupped her breast and she stared blankly at my hand.

“What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’m doing, kitten?”

She sighed and took my hand, pushing it
gently back to the bed.  “You have a one track mind.”

“I really do,” I agreed. 

She slid out of bed and patted nervously at
her hair.  “I’ll make us some breakfast.  Do you like pancakes?”

“I do.”  I struggled to sit up and she
hurried around to my side of the bed and helped me into a sitting position.

“How do you feel?”

“Tired and weak,” I said and then blinked
in surprise.  Why the hell had I told her that?

She gave me a sympathetic look.  “It
doesn’t help that you haven’t eaten in a couple of days.  I’ll help you to the
bathroom and then start breakfast, okay?”

I nodded and tried not to flinch when she
helped me to stand.

* * *

“How’s the patient?” 

Roman stepped into the bedroom and gave me
a cheerful smile as Maddie crossed the room and kissed him on the cheek.  I
swallowed down my jealousy, it was fucking ridiculous to be jealous of Maddie
kissing Roman, and nodded tersely.

“Better.”

“He’s in a lot of pain,” Maddie said.

“I’m
fine
,” I muttered.

“He isn’t.  He’s just trying to be tough.”

“Well, tough guy, let’s take a look at your
gunshot wound,” Roman said.

Maddie took the tray off the bed as Roman
gave her a hopeful look.  “You made pancakes for him?  I don’t suppose there
are any left?”

She grinned at him.  “I made extra for you,
honey.”

“Mads, if I didn’t love dick so much, I’d
fucking marry you.”

“That’s so sweet,” she said dryly as she
set the tray on the dresser.

Roman was peeling back the bandage and I
made myself stay perfectly still as he probed at the wound with warm fingers.

“You okay?” Maddie climbed on to the bed
beside me and I didn’t object when she took my hand.

“Yeah, I don’t need the drugs today,” I
lied.

“Yes, you do,” Roman said.  “No need to be
a hero, remember?”

He placed a fresh bandage on my side and
taped it carefully.  “It’s looking good, no sign of an infection, and it’s
starting to heal.  You’ll be back on your feet in no time.”

“Good,” I growled before looking Maddie up
and down.

She flushed as my gaze lingered on her
hips.

“No sex,” Roman said.

“Roman!”  Maddie’s flush deepened and Roman
laughed.

“Oh please, I recognize an ‘I want to fuck
you’ look when I see one.”

He tapped me on the chest.  “I mean it,
tough guy.  You’ll rip your sutures.”

“Not if she rides me,” I said.

Roman cocked his head.  “Well, maybe if she
did all the work and you didn’t move at all.  But what fun would that be?

“For heaven’s sake!”  Maddie snapped.  “I’m
not riding anyone.  Enough – both of you!”

She tugged her hand free and slid off the
bed as Roman pulled a syringe from the bag at his feet.

“I really don’t need it,” I insisted,
trying to ignore the panic that was already beginning to trickle through me. 
Jesus, if Maddie knew I was afraid of something as simple as sleeping, she’d
dump my ass.

Dump your ass?  So now you’re dating?

Fuck off.

Roman, ignoring me completely, slid the needle
into my arm.  The prick of pain was followed by the now-familiar flush of
warmth and heaviness in my limbs, and the trickle of panic became a hungry claw
in my stomach.

“Maddie!”  My voice was sharp with fear and
she frowned before hurrying back to the bed and taking my hand.

“Honey, it’s okay.  You need sleep to
heal.”

“Please,” I mumbled as Roman studied me
thoughtfully.  “I don’t wanna, I can’t…”

My eyelids drifted shut and I slipped into
the dark.

* * *

M
addie

“For someone who does drugs, he has a
ridiculously low tolerance,” Roman said as Riley’s eyes closed and he slumped
against the bed.

“Just because he deals drugs doesn’t mean
he does them,” I said.

Roman rolled his eyes.  “Mads, not even
you
are that naïve.”

I ran my hand over Riley’s forearm before
flipping it over and showing Roman the crook of his elbow.  “No track marks.”

“Plenty of ways to do drugs other than
shooting up,” Roman replied.

“You just said it was weird that he had
such a low tolerance.  If he did drugs, he wouldn’t get knocked out so quickly
by the drugs you’re giving him,” I argued.

Roman packed away the supplies in his
medical bag.  “Why are you so anxious to prove he’s a good guy, Mads?  We both
know he isn’t.”

“You’re wrong,” I said as I covered Riley
with the quilt.  “Besides, he doesn’t even want the drugs you’re giving him. 
If he was an addict, he’d be asking for more.”

I arched my eyebrow at him and Riley
smiled.  “You got me on that one.  Still, I don’t think he’s as completely drug
free as you believe him to be.  Hell, everyone smokes a little weed now and
then.”

“I don’t,” I said before smoothing the
wrinkles out from the quilt over Riley’s broad chest.  Just the feel of his
hard flesh under the quilt made my stomach quiver with lust.

Roman laughed.  “True, you are the poster
girl for the anti-drug movement.”

I stuck my tongue out at him.  “I’m not
that much of a good girl.  I used to smoke, remember?”

Roman laughed again.  “You smoked half a
cigarette in university before turning green and barfing your guts up.  Doesn’t
count, Mads.”

“Whatever,” I said before stroking Riley’s
forehead.  He looked so much younger in sleep, the anger that was always
visible on his face smoothed away.

“Who would ever have thought a good girl
like you would have a bullet-riddled, tattooed, giant-dicked biker in her bed?”
Roman suddenly said.

“You’re awfully obsessed with the size of
his dick, Roman,” I said.

Roman shrugged, “I love dick, girl.  And in
case I didn’t mention it before, his is fucking epic.  A monster of a dick, the
dick of
all
dicks, the Dirk Diggler dick of the biker world.”

I laughed as Roman wiggled his eyebrows at
me.  “You going to take another ride on that monster when he’s healed?”

My laughter turned to a flush of
embarrassment.  “Roman!”

“What?  It’s a simple question.  Are you
having another go at it or not?”

“It was a one-time only thing for him,” I
muttered.

“What do you mean?”  Roman said.

I sighed and stood before pointing to my
over-sized body.  “Look at me and look at him, Roman.”

“I’m looking,” he said.  “I don’t see the
problem.”

“Men like him are not attracted to women
who look like me.  I have no idea why he even had sex with me that night other
than thinking you’re right about him having a drug problem and he was high on
something,” I said. 

Roman laughed so loudly that I shushed him
and hurried him out of my bedroom.  He trailed after me to the kitchen and I
opened the oven and pulled out the plate of pancakes that were warming in it.

“Here, sit down and have some breakfast.”

Roman was still laughing and I scowled at
him.  “What’s so funny?”

“What’s so funny?”  He repeated as he sat
and, still snickering, reached for the syrup.

“Yes,” I said impatiently as I poured
myself a second cup of coffee.

“You thinking that Riley doesn’t want you.”

“He doesn’t,” I insisted.

“Whatever, Mads.  The guy wants to fuck you
silly and if he could, he’d have you riding him right now – gunshot wound be
damned.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Roman,” I muttered as
I sipped at the rich, dark brew.

“No, don’t you be ridiculous,” Roman
suddenly scowled.  “You’re a beautiful girl, Mads and – “

“I’m a fat girl,” I interrupted.

“So fucking what?”

I realized with dismay that Roman’s good
mood had vanished and he was giving me an uncharacteristic look of anger.  “You
think just because you carry a few extra pounds that you’re ugly?  Worthless?”

“Jordan – “ I began.

“Fuck, Jordan!”  Roman slammed his fist on
the table.  “I hate that fucking guy, Mads.  Always have!  The way he tore you
down, the way he convinced you that you were worthless just because you don’t
have a size two body makes me want to rip off his fucking head.  Just because
he was too goddamn chicken to admit he liked sucking dick instead of eating
pussy didn’t give him the right to fuck you over like he did for four years!”

I stared at him in silent shock as he looked
moodily at his untouched pancakes.  “I spent four years watching him tear you
down little by little, Mads, and I wish to fucking God I had said something but
I wanted you to be happy.  I hated that asswipe but I thought you loved him so
I kept my fucking mouth shut.”

“It’s not your fault, Roman,” I said.  “I’m
an adult and I let myself stay in that toxic relationship.  It’s not your fault
it took me four years to get out of it.”

He reached across the table to take my
hand.  “You’re not out of it, Mads.  I know you think you are but you’re not.”

He suddenly tapped me lightly on the
forehead.  “Jordan still lives in there.  You’re still hearing his voice
telling you that you’re not worth it, that he’s only with you because he feels
sorry for you, that you’re never going to be pretty enough or smart enough
because you’re not a size two.”

“He – he never said anything like that, or a
word about my weight,” I said weakly.

Roman sighed deeply.  “He didn’t have to
say anything, Mads.  Jesus, you’re a bright girl – why can’t you get this? 
Sometimes the people we love hurt us the most without saying a word.”

I blinked back the sudden tears as Roman
picked up his fork and cut into the stack of pancakes.  “Riley wants you
badly.  Even a goddamn blind man can see it.”

He shoved a bite of pancake into his mouth
and chewed noisily before swallowing.  “Can I give you some advice, Mads?”

I nodded mutely.

“Once your biker babe is healed, give him
what you both want and fuck him senseless for a few weeks.  Let him show you
exactly what you’ve been missing in bed with that shithead Jordan.”

“I – we’re too different to be in a
relationship,” I said.

Roman rolled his eyes.  “Did I say to start
dating him?  No, I said to fuck him.  There’s a difference.  Maybe the two of
you are dynamite in bed together or maybe you aren’t.  The night in the bar
could have been a fucking fluke.  But if it wasn’t, you deserve to be shown
just how hot and fuckable you are and Riley’s the guy to do it.  The way he
looks at you – Jesus, it makes me a little hot for you.”