Read Shampoo Online

Authors: Karina Almeroth

Tags: #romance, #comedy, #girl power, #australian, #commodores

Shampoo (16 page)

BOOK: Shampoo
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Julia and I had the EXACT same pink top on
today, and she told me she’d bought the same pink faux leather
jacket (ie. plastic) as me! It was so funny. Cause everyone kept
mistaking her for me. Angela Jones (Qld rep and Jessica Jenkin’s
best friend), John Cash, Daryl Agnew, Karen Beal (accounts, and
just about the nicest accountant you’ll ever meet), Daryl Young,
all kept handing things to Julia as she walked past, then doing
double-takes and yelling, “You’re not Pinky!!”

Daryl Agnew eventually stood up from the desk
he’s deemed his, and screeched across the whole office, “THERE CAN
ONLY BE ONE PINKY IN THIS OFFICE!!!! IN THIS WORLD!!!”

(oh, God, was funny, everyone laughed – except
Julia, she was PISSED – but Julia was definitely getting upset by
the end of the day, by all the disappointments and shoutings that
she wasn’t me. Poor Jules!)

Nat and I turned up at work at the same time as
Daryl Agnew this morning, all three of us pulling up at the same
time, Daryl in his limited edition Monaro GT (tricked up to 225kw
per hour, as he tells everyone), Nat in her Ford (pfft) Festiva, me
in my Commodore. Was cool, like something from a movie. Perfect,
synchronized driving!!

Daryl got out his car and gave me a big hug.
Nat just rolled her eyes and grumbled, “You’re always everybody’s
damn favourite.”

(except in our own family)


Yes but you’re prettier, so you
win,” I told her.

Nat and I ALWAYS walk through the warehouse and
up the back stairs to the office, to say hello to everyone. No one
else ever does this, Faye and the boys tell us. They love that we
do!

So we walk in, greeting everyone, and my eyes
drift

 

(like they seem to all the time
lately!)

 

to Matt, and, LET ME TELL YOU, he looked ALL
KINDS OF HOT in his bright orange Sin shirt

 

(our Sin shirts are pink for girls, orange for
the guys),

 

as he packed bottles of shampoo and
conditioner. He had just finished taping the lid of a box shut, and
shouted, “The dishes are DONE, DUDE!!”

Nat and I shared a look. Even Nanna Nat knows
he’s stuffed up the movie line.


Should I correct him?” I enquired
of my sister.


Oh, I think so. Can’t go stuffing
up your favourite movie lines.”

I cleared my throat, coming to stop next to
him. “Firstly, you stole my line.”

He paused, and looked down on me, grinning.
“YOUR line??”


Yeah! It’s my line!”


She says it ALL the time,” Nat
piped in, hanging around to watch this play out.

Matt was enjoying the attention, you could
tell. “Really,” he drawled.


Yeah, really,” I answered,
blatantly flirting (and loving it). “Secondly, are you even
qualified to use that line?? Do you even know what movie it’s
from?” I am, after all, the Movie Police.

He laughed hard now, then leaned in closer to
me

 

(HOT),

 

and said, “‘Don’t Tell Mum the Babysitter’s
Dead.’”

I must say, I was impressed. A man who knows
his classics. “Hmm,” I replied, shooting him a look that was half
impressed, half you’re hot, now ask me out, damn it.

Nat was already heading for the stairs, and I
made to follow her, then turned back. “You get some points for
knowing the movie, at least. But it’s MAN, not DUDE.” I turned to
walk away. “The dishes are DONE, MAN!!” I added louder, climbing
the stairs.

Matt laughed some more. Everyone in the
warehouse was watching and listening to us.

THEN, at the end of the day, Matt was upstairs
photocopying when he spotted something out the window. “You guys,
hahaha, COME HERE.”

Nat and Jules and I went racing over to the
wall of windows to see what was happening.

Our resident Drag Queen and Holden Monaro
Driving Princess, Daryl Agnew, was playing footy out in the parking
lot/driveway with all the rough and tumble warehouse
boys.

THAT was funny enough, but then Matt came to
stand next to me, and we all doubled over laughing, grabbing onto
each other, as we watched Daryl Agnew make this big pretence of
kicking the ball, and his shoe went flying off into the air and
landed on the windshield of John Cash’s brand new yellow
BMW.

Honestly, I don’t think there’s been a funnier
sight than Daryl’s shoe flying through the air, and the look on his
face, and the swearing that followed.

 

(Dag can swear like a motherfucker)


Daryl’s shoe is DONE, MAN,” I
spluttered, to Matt especially laughing even harder.

I’m in hysterics just thinking about
it.

The four of us were seriously in fits of
laughter. We couldn’t stop.

Ahhh, when your workplace can make you laugh
THAT HARD!!! What more could you want out of your day??

 

 

 

Wednesday 16 August 2000

8.44pm

I’ve had SUCH a busy day.

I’ve been so busy I haven’t even had a chance
to frolic in my happiness over Evvy.

Work was SO BUSY. I did an eleven hour day with
just one ten minute break. I worked till 5.30pm, then at 5.30 we
had this course downstairs in the salon, which was
fantastic.

It was about nutrition and energy and positive
thinking.

 

(I’m POSITIVE I’m exhausted after working 11
hours with no break!!)

That went till 7.30pm, then I’ve come home,
showered, slapped some cheese on a plate, and fallen into
bed.

I’m exhausted, but happy!!

It’s so good to be back at work, back at living
life! Laughing with people again.

 

(instead of with my four walls and
cat)

The course tonight hit home how different Sin
is, how high energy and just BRILLIANT and innovative. It’s so
different from other workplaces! Maybe it’s the industry, it’s a
fun, vibrant industry, haircare…but then really it’s the people.
The bosses. The reps. All us young warehouse and office staff (with
a few lovable oldies!!). It’s all of us. But the bosses…they lead
by example. Fun example, but example.

Nat and I had a somewhat stressful day,
however. She was trying to teach me New Accounts, and Renee let
absolutely EVERYONE (like, ALL THE GIRLS) go on lunch together, so
Julia had to relieve Evie out at reception, so Nat and I were left
for like an hour and a half

 

(nobody can tell time, apparently),

 

answering EVERYONES’ calls plus trying to do
all the invoicing in time for the truck pick ups.

Nat just shook her head in an angry fashion
when Renee came back dead on the hour (she is the office manager
after all) and asked, “Where is everyone??”


You let them go on lunch!” Nat
replied, as only Nat can and not get in trouble.

(does anyone get in trouble at Sin
though?)

I was literally SWAMPED with orders, all day,
so much so Nat had to abandon her customer service job and madly
type with me all day. We took a ten minute break each, that was it,
while everyone else took an hour (and a half).

 

 

Thursday 17 August 2000

8.25pm

Actually got a lunch break today at work!!! Nat
and I went to Cannon Hill together, got bread rolls and cold pasta
salad. Was yummo!!!

 

(for someone that can’t cook, I sure do love
food)

I’ve been to the gym with Dan and Josh tonight
– and we worked out Josh is now coming to tomorrow night’s opening
night. I’m happy about that…

 

(better than being a dateless no date can’t get
a man McLoser)

He’ll keep Dan entertained too.

I’m really happy tonight, on a happy high this
week. Love when I get in these moods.

Just crashed in bed with my plate of nuggets
and a yummy salad with TONS of salad dressing, and my can of Coke.
I’m about to put ‘Dawson’s Creek’ on, Gizzy’s curled up at my
feet…perfect night.

And I have plans!!! I love when I know I have
social outings to go to!!!

I’ll be partying tomorrow night, Saturday Nat
and I are going house hunting, Saturday night, Nat, Anita and I are
going out to dinner, and Sunday I plan on taking my baby (car) down
the coast on my own, and Sunday arvo is the Broncos versus the
Roosters game!!!

I love it when I have plans. I just feel better
about life.

At work today, Angela Jones had the loveliest
chat with me after I took all her orders. She overheard me at that
course saying, “I’ve gotta start that one,” to the course lady
declaring we should all ‘Enjoy a healthy sex life!’

 

(yes, it was one of those hippy dippy
courses)

I cracked up laughing on the phone when she
said it, but she was deadly serious, determined to give me her
sage, New Agey, hippy dippy advice.

 

(that I appreciate and love she cares enough
about me to share it)

 

She said I have to go to bed with a glass of
wine, light some candles

 

(love candles to be specific…what the fuck are
love candles??),

 

then write a list of the qualities I want my
(imaginary) man to have. Then every night before going to sleep, I
have to read through the list and conjure up my Mr
Right.

I hope it works.

So my list (so far) looks like this, written on
pink paper from the office

 

(I started scribbling soon as I got off the
phone from Angela):

 

Tall

Muscular arms

Kind

Funny – so funny I’m at risk of dying of
laughter

Serious – at times, to balance the extreme
funniness

Strong – mentally and physically. Must be
strong to handle me

Tall

Loves me for ME

Truly sees who I am, and loves me for
it

Appreciates who I am

Loves Dawson’s Creek and Moonlighting and IS
NOT gay

Thinks Pacey is the one for Joey

Reads

Tall

Wants to be with me every night YET gives me my
nights to myself

TALL

Has a sexy voice

Is sexy

Is loads of fun

Protective of me, nurturing, wants to make his
existence looking after and loving me

Loves to watch 80’s movies with me

Tall

 

Angela said I’m beautiful and the right guy
will come along.

ISN’T SHE SO SWEET?????

Daryl Agnew and Jessica Jenkins gave me great
compliments today too.

 

(oh, to be loved by the reps, it’s so
delicious!!!!!)

 

Dag

 

(Daryl Agnew, in case I’m confusing you,
Diary…that came about cause we call the boss, Daryl Young, DY, and,
in invoicing particularly, we see D. Agnew all the time, and
shorten him to Dag. Just fits, too, cause he is a
dag!!!!)

 

says he doesn’t know what the girls did without
me, that they do NOWHERE NEAR (he emphasized these words, not me)
as good a job as me, and Jess said I’m so good at taking orders
over the phone, in this shocked and amazed voice

 

(I have returned to work from all this time off
to a new office, new products, new packaging, AN ENTIRE GODDAMN NEW
COMPUTER AND INVOICING SYSTEM, and mastered it like a pink
boss),

 

and for Jessica to notice and compliment me,
was huge. She doesn’t give out praise easily. She’s a tiny
powerhouse of perfection, a little workaholic

 

(and playaholic – all the reps and bosses are a
strange mix of both, like they own this life, they’ve figured out
it’s about both, playing hard and working hard, and playing while
you work)

 

focused Kylie Minogue type machine. Everything
is put in her diary, her figures book, her sales folder, her copy
of her salon orders folder, her monthly folder, her yearly folder,
her Million Dollar Club folder (I imagine)…she gives out mini
bottles of champagne and chocolates at Christmas to all of her
salons (and to all us girls in the office).

Jessica Jenkins is kind of my idol.

Jenny, a Victorian rep, and I had a big powwow
today, too. She’s so sweet!!! She’s like the dorky, struggling, I
don’t know what the fuck I’m doing sales rep. Her orders are always
very small (not like the Queensland reps, and Rob and Judi in Vic),
and don’t add up to much. And she always has this defeated note in
her voice at the end of the day.

 

(truth be told, I think she gives up at lunch
time and goes home and cries over shampoo for the rest of the
day)

BOOK: Shampoo
5.5Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub
ads

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