Shane and Trey[ Enemies to Lovers 01 ] (26 page)

I peeled myself off the glass and walked with Trey down the ramp side of the entrance. As we walked across the road, I told him about my day, hedging around some of the more personal details. Not because I didn’t trust Trey, but because it wasn’t my right to share.

He looked at me, a slight frown on his face as though he knew there was more to it—that I held something back—but shook it off and replaced it with a comforting smile.

Before I knew it we stood outside room seven, Trey jingling a key as he opened the door. I stepped into the double unit. “Wow, I thought there’d only be a bed,” I said, running a finger over the kitchen counter, “didn’t think we’d get these extras.”

Trey opened the small fridge in the corner and pulled out a bag of groceries. I plopped my tired ass on the end of the bed. “Well, I got the best room I could. I really wanted to make us something for dinner.”

“Oh, really?” I undid my laces and took off my shoes. “That’s sweet.” The last bit came out a yawn. I flopped back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling. Trey chuckled and started on dinner, while I rested. Soon a delicious aroma filled the air and my stomach rumbled in premature thanks. “That smells amazing.”

Trey poured some of the pumpkin soup into a bowl and handed it to me with a spoon. I sat at the table and waited for him to bring his.

“Dig in, babe. It’ll only get cold otherwise.”

I didn’t need telling twice. I practically inhaled the first serving. The second I scoffed, and the third I tried to make up for my previous lack of manners. Dainty, pinky finger extended. Trey laughed. “Yeah right. I much prefer the pigShane.”

We cleaned together, (Trey under my instruction), until everything shined and the bed sang for us. Trey pointed to a duffel bag at the side of the windows. ’syd we’d getStuffs in there. I hope you don’t mind, I put all our toiletries together.”

After stripping to my boxers and putting on a night t-shirt, I grabbed the bag and headed to the bathroom. My blue and yellow toothbrush spooned Trey’s green one. I reached to get mine, hesitated, and took out his instead.This is weird. Don’t. Anyone else contemplating this and you would think it gross.Yet…

I smeared toothpaste over it and brushed my teeth. Little thrills zapped my nerves, but as I entered the main room uneasiness followed me.What if he finds that repulsive? Disgusting? Freakish? Probably should tell him, so he doesn’t have to use it.Trey jumped up from doing his pushups. As he passed me, I started to speak, but it came out a crackle he didn’t hear.

Jumping in bed, I listened to Trey humming through the wall. When he came back he switched off the lights and climbed into bed. He pressed me to him. “Shane?” His breath came out minty. “Did you use my toothbrush? It was surprisingly wet, and yours was—well, dry.”

I stopped moving my hand over his back. “Ah, I don’t know what came over me. Yeah. Sorry.”

He laughed. “Well, I evened things up a bit. And hell,” his voice lowered to a husk, “knowing you’d done that was so freaking sweet. It makes me want to, I don’t know, do anything for you. To show you how much you mean to me.”

I chuckled. Relieved he took it so well. “Anything, aye? Like would you step on a crack just for me?”

Trey’s minty breath stopped hitting my cheek. His body stilled. Too dark to see his expression I traced his face with a finger.Why did I have to bring up a fear of his? Why was my mouth so stupidly hinged?“I’m sorry. I know you don’t like to step on cracks. You don’t ever have to do that to prove anything to me. I know you care.”

His breath came back. “I would, though. If you needed me to, I would.”

 

In a small, unsure voice, I asked, “Trey, why can’t you walk over cracks?”

He unlocked his arms around me and twisted onto his back. I could just make out the darker grey of his profile. “I’m so afraid to tell you. Scared of what you’ll think of me. It’s to do with my aunt as well.”

I fumbled for his hand under the covers. “Okay, you don’t have to tell me anything, but know that I’m not here to judge. Just to listen. When you’re ready, let me be your rock.”

Trey linked his fingers through mine. “Actually, I think I am ready to tell you. After our stupid fight on our hike, that night I saw the photos, I realized I wanted to share my past with you. Only I was too upset at the time.”

I squeezed his hand—the only place we touched. Such a simple hold, and yet I felt so close to Trey. Maybe because this had nothing to do with lust. This was pure caring.

“I was just a kid you know. Not long nine. Aunt Patricia took me for the day. We walked up to Signal Point.”
Images of the old road way came to mind. Lots of day hikes leading off it. “The pavement up there are those concrete slabs. They’re like three feet apart with that unsealed gap between them.” Trey swallowed. “I thought it was fun. Leaping from crack to crack.”

He turned away from me to the wall. I understood this was hard for him, but I didn’t want him to feel ashamed.It’s okay. I’m your rock, remember?

Trey let me slink my arms around his waist. “Patricia kept telling me to calm down. But I kept at my game. I wish I’d listened to her. Had been a good boy. Had stopped when she told me to.” He took a breath. “But I didn’t. She wanted us to cut back down the hill using the stairs, and I ignored her.”

I tightened my hold as he started to sob.

“She grabbed my arm. I don’t remember everything, but at the same time I jumped, pulling her with me. But there was this metal bar—the ones that are there to slow bikes down —in front of the steps shfel reme wanted us to go.” His torso shuddered. “It all happened so quickly, but I thought she’d fall on it, and hurt herself, so I…I pushed her away from it. I didn’t mean to hurt her more. I didn’t… think”—sniff —“about the stairs behind her. And—and…when I got down to her she just, just couldn’t move. I didn’t understand.” I reached over and switched on the little lamp by the bed. Startled, Trey sat up. “What’s up?” The edge of panic in his voice saddened me.But it’s understandable he’s worried about my reaction. Like Syd said, telling the people you most care about something difficult is the hardest.Yes, there was more at stake, Trey loved me.

I cupped his face, pushed away a tear with my thumb. “I want you to see me when I say this.” He held my gaze, steady. Good. “I’m sorry for what happened. Sorry for your aunt, and sorry for you. You were just a boy. It was an accident. A horrible one. But an accident.” I kissed away another tear trailing his cheek. “I don’t think of you any differently. My feelings for you are the same.”I care for you deeply, I am completely happy around you, I feel like we’ve always…been.“I—I—” Trey bit his bottom lip. “I want you to know you mean so much to me.”

He frowned a bit, but nodded and forced out a smile. When I turned off the lamp and lay back down to sleep, I had the weird feeling I’d disappointed him somehow. Not that he showed it—he came and snuggled, purred athank youin my ear. Hmmm maybe it wasn’t anything to do with him. Maybe it was something with me.

***

In the morning, I snuck out the room keeping as quiet as I could, not wanting to wake Trey. Judging by his tossing and turning, he’d not slept well. After a coffee that tasted closer to battery acid, Syd rolled into the waiting room.

If I’d thought he looked bad yesterday, today was something else. Large red and grey puffs swallowed up his eyes. His hair stuck up at unnatural angles giving him an almost Einstein-like frizz, and he wore the same clothes as yesterday. Only today they were creased, and didn’t smell so good.

He sat on a hard plastic chair and muttered. “Where are your sisters and Mom?”

“They went to buy flowers or something. They’ll be here soon.” He jiggled his knee.

 

“Did you ah,”get any sleep at all last night?“sleep all right?”

He didn’t answer me, instead stared at the opposite wall. Okay, Syd was officially freaking me out. I felt my pockets. You should give Lucas a quick ring and update him. Tell him for God’s sake to hurry.Shoot, where was my cell?

Dammit! Must’ve left it in the hostel. “You have your cell on you?” I asked. Syd shook his head as if clearing it of thoughts. “What?” “Can I borrow your cell?”

He handed his over. I ducked outside the room and rang Trey (I had his number memorized), who promised to bring the cell phone right around. After that I left Lucas a short message. “His dad’s doing fine. Should make a full recovery. Syd’s a little uh . . .” Hysterical? Lost? Not himself? “. . . well, he needs you. He’ll be better when you’re here.”

I clapped the cell shut, and used the bathroom facilities. As I washed my hands I studied my own face in the mirror. I had my mom’s lips, but everything else was my dad. Including my ears, slightly sharp at the top.He’s apart of you. Do you really not want him apart of your life?I jumped at the thought. Where had that come from?

I stepped back from the mirrors and left the bathroom. As I did, Syd appeared and gripped my arm. “Come with me.” He charged down the hall and threw open the door to his dad’s room.

“I want to forgive you,” he said in a rush.

His dad pushed himself up slightly. Shocked and, again, relieved to see Syd.
“But I need to know you’re okay with who I am,oing forhe Syd poured out his words, rich in feeling. “So that I can forgive you, I need to know you accept me. That you can you handle who I am without hurting me again. Can you handle”—he grabbed me and planted a kiss, long and deep. I didn’t go with it, but in my shock I didn’t pull away either. Shit, Syd, couldn’t you have waited a little longer for that demonstration?—“me kissing another guy?”

A flash of coat whizzed by the open door. Great. And we’d made a public show of it as well.

I searched Syd’s tired eyes. He was a wreck. He didn’t know what he was doing. Well, certainly he didn’t mean it in any way other than to make a point. That I was one hundred and ten percent sure. Still, it was a risky one. What if his dad wasn’t ready to accept him? I glanced at the ECG machine. Shit, what if it’d worsened his condition? Poor Syd was too out of it to think straight.

“So, Dad?” Syd rocked on his feet, and I grabbed him, concerned he’d fall. “What do you think?”

His dad exhaled. Slow. “Sydney, I’ve had many years to learn about what being gay is. I—I didn’t know much back then.” He shut his eyes, wincing. “I’m so—so very sorry for the way I behaved. Every day I regretted… I lost you, boy. You meant so much to me, and I lost you. I love you. Have always loved you. And, I—I don’t care who it is you fall in love with.” He glanced at me and back at Syd. “So, the answer to your question is yes. I accept everything you choose to be.” His voice cracked.

More tears ran down Syd’s face. He nodded. “Then”—clear throat—“let’s call this a second beginning.” Syd stepped back toward the door. “But we’re going to have to take things slow. This… this is enough for today.”

His dad nodded, and we left the room. Syd asked me to leave him alone for a few minutes while he went for a small walk. I grabbed a magazine in the waiting room, flipping through it, but unable to concentrate on anything. I checked the time. Had Trey fallen back asleep? Or had he forgotten about my cell?

Syd’s ‘small walk’ turned out to be an hour and a half. Trey hadn’t made it here, and without Syd’s cell, I’d had to use a pay phone. Trey’s phone didn’t ring and an automated message told me to try again later.

I tried ringing my phone to see if he’d pick that up, but it eventually went to the mailbox. My stomach knotted. Something about this didn’t feel right. I rang my phone again. This time someone picked up on the third ring.

“Shane’s phone,” came a miserable voice. Syd’s voice. “What”-the hell?Trey had dropped my phone off and not stopped to say hello?

“Shane? Your cell must have slipped out your pocket. It was on the seat here.”

 

I hung up and reeled into the waiting room, checking the corners as if Trey lurked there waiting for me.

 

What would have possessed him to—I stared at Syd fiddling with my phone. Fuck!

 

That was it. Must have been. He sawthat kiss. Chapter Nineteen

THE MOMENT SYD kissed me replayed in my head. That flash of coat in the doorway—must have been his.He’d been right there, and I didn’t even know it. And he’d misunderstood. This could be fixed, if he’d come back or pick up his damn phone.Just talk to me.

I slammed my phone down on the passenger seat, feeling awful. Drove back to the dorms, but he wasn’t there. I waited the whole night for him to get back. But he didn’t show. Not that night. Not the night after. Or the one after that. I missed classes. Rang his cell phone every few hours, but each time was the same. Not only had he switched his phone off, he’d disconnected the message system.That’s howbad I hurt him. He doesn’t dad p feweven want to hear my voice anymore. I wrote three separate emails explaining the situation, but no reply came back. I just had to talk to him. Had to let him know I was sorry, the kiss meant nothing. Nothing!

Shit! This looked like I’d fucked up royally. How could Syd have been so stupid? And how could I blame him? He was distraught. But I should’ve moved or something. Why did I have to be shocked? And then, when I needed to speak to him, why couldn’t I get through? I needed to make things right between us again.

I pressed my head against the window, the cool glass a small relief. Like I had the past few days, I watched the parking lot. Really, I knew he wouldn’t come past there, he had no need to, but I haunted the lot, just in case—not wanting to miss him. Miss him. Fuck I missed him.

I banged against the glass, wiped my foggy breath off with my sleeve and turned to Trey’s bed. Where I’d slept the past few nights. Where had he slept?—It wasn’t home, I’d already driven around there.

I peeled back the nicely made bed (I’d spent a considerable amount of time re-organizing and dusting while I cried), stripped to my t-shirt and boxers and slid in the bed. His scent wrapped around me, holding me in place of him. It wasn’t the same. But it was something.

Who cared that it was the middle of the day? Besides, I was tired.Because you spend the nights thinking of Trey, of your time together, and thinking of the perfect words to say to him when you see him.But perfect words didn’t exist. I only had one explanation with a desperate edge to them.He has to believe me. He would. If I could ever get through to him, right?