Shane and Trey[ Enemies to Lovers 01 ] (11 page)

“Um, yup, a bit anyway.” I almost laughe Fordeg over ad at Syd’s expression. ‘In awe’ didn’t seem to cut it. It rather reminded me of a love struck Mickey Mouse. I could almost see hearts swirling around his head.

Focusing back on Lucas, I asked, “What does ‘du bist ein fuctbar-something-or-rather Lugner’ mean?”

“Furchtbarer Lügner?” “Yeah, that’s the one.” He chuckled. “It means ‘you’re a terrible liar.”

It took me a second to process it and then— that, that minx!—or whatever the male equivalent was. No wonder Trey’d seemed so cheery just before I left. He’d seen right through me. I internally scowled, but actually the fact he knew I wasn’t on a date sent a delicious shiver right down my middle.

Still in a daydream, I didn’t notice the topic of conversation had now turned to music. I brought myself back to the present, noting the excitement in Lucas’s tone as he described how he fell in love with The Smiths. I was right there with him, the group ranking in my top ten as well.

“And Syd told me you are in a band?” “I sing. And play a little guitar.”

“You sing beautifully,” Syd said, gazing at his mouth. Lucas noticed and before Syd could say anything, he was kissing him. It was sweet. I liked the way Lucas moved with urgency, as if Syd were the only thing that mattered—damn, I wanted that for myself. My mind flew to Trey. What would it be like to kiss him? To fuck him? To love him? I sighed quietly and looked away as Syd and Lucas pulled apart, both heavily breathing.

“Sorry Shane,” Lucas said, grabbing Syd’s hand and placing it on his inner thigh. Hmmm, either he didn’t know I could clearly see, or he didn’t care. “I just couldn’t hold back on that one.” Orthatone, it seemed.

But there was something relieving about the action. Maybe because Syd had confessed to loving the guy, and—well, now I knew it went both ways. I was so happy for Syd, and selfishly sad for me.

“So tell me more about this band you’re in. Do you write your own stuff, or do covers?”

“We do both, but mainly our own stuff.” He cocked his head to the side and looked at me. Then said, “Actually the band formed from my HIV support group.”

I could tell he was analyzing my reaction to that. The funny thing was I’d completely forgotten Lucas was positive until he’d mentioned it. Seriously, the guy was awesome and—I could see why my friend had fallen for him. They seemed right together. Shit! How could I have even considered that Syd should move on, choose another guy?

Although I was blushing at my earlier prejudice, I met his eye. “Sweet,” I said and swallowed. My embarrassment made me nervous, and I had to wipe my palms on my jeans. Thank God Syd interrupted the moment—I had no idea what to say next. I’d kind of bubbled up, cheeks and tongue swelling so that even if I did have something to say it would have come out gibberish.

“Lucas, Shane also plays a bit of guitar.”

A calm smile melted onto his face. “You do? Play us something?” He unhooked a guitar and handed it to me. “It’s partly the reason I like this booth the best. You can play whenever it takes your fancy.”

“Well, I actually play for myself. I—”

Syd snorted. “You so do not. Well, not only.” Huh? “Come on, whenever I go to your room you grab your ‘blue baby’ and play.”

I was pretty sure I was red again. “Yeah, but that was…” because it was just you,I was going to say. But actually thinking on it, it didn’t matter who was in the room. I did it all the time. As if it was some type of safety blanket or something. What a loser.

“Right then.” I fiddled getting it in tune. “Is there something in particular you’d like to hear?”

“Have you come up with lyrics for that melody you made up? You know the la-de-da-de-dum-dum one?” Syd said— hummed?—and I raised a brow. “Well, it Fce?yrics for went somethinglike that.”

“Yeah, actually I have.” Although I’d never sung it aloud to anyone before (At least that I was aware of. Ha-ha). Then again, there was a first time for everything, right?

“Okay, so this one’s untitled. Bear with me, some of the lines are a work-in-progress.” I strummed the guitar a little, warming into it, then after an encouraging look from the two lovers opposite me, I began to sing.

I’ll see you be a man, boy A promise I made to you You were once drowning In fear of the dark
So I sent you out at midnight To the local park
Or the day you were crying When your teddy disappeared I threwit in the rubbish
I didn’t want you weird

I’ll see you be a man, boy
A promise I made to you
That’s why when you were struggling Not a thing did I do

At night when you were crying I got out of bed
I could have come to you But I shut the door instead And when it was really bad, Or when you were in pain, I put in my headphones
I didn’t feel any shame

I’ll see you be a man, boy A promise I made to you The day your mother left me I didn’t understand
You see I’ve only ever loved you Just wanted you a man
Even from a distance, boy I’ll try to make it true
I’ll see you be a man, boy
I promise that’s what I’ll do

As I sung the chorus the last time, I noticed Syd had tears in his eyes. Lucas, now even closer to him, traced his finger over Syd’s upper thigh. I came to a halt. A prickly feeling gnawed inside me. I remembered the date we went on, how he’d shuddered at the mention of his dad. How could I have been so thoughtless? So stupid? Why did I sing that song?

Syd squeezed the top of Lucas hand, stilling his movement. “Would you go order us some more drinks?”

 

Lucas kissed his cheek. “Sure, darlin’. When the door had shut behind him, I blurted, “Shit, Syd. I’m sorry. Bad choice of song.”

He shook his head. “Don’t be sorry. The song, um…resonated.It was good, it’s just that—that,” he took a deep breath, “when I came out to my dad, he got really mad. He couldn’t think straight, he was so upset and he— he”—Syd swallowed again and looked at his thigh—“we were standing in the kitchen—I can’t even remember why I’d thought to tell them in that moment. It just sort of overcame me. Mom was boiling pasta at the time and—” I lurched off the bench and came round to his side. Fuck, I knew what he was going to say, just the thought made me want to throw up. Into the crook of my neck he finished, “he chucked the water on me.” He held me tightly for a moment then pulled back. “I’ve had years to get over it, but—you know—it’s still an ouchy-pouchy memory.”

Mad that he could even try to joke about it, I gripped his shoulders shaking him. “Don’t you do that! Fuck, that’s absolutely horrible. I’m so sorry. What a fucking jerk. What a fucking—”

“Hey, calm down,” Syd said. “I’m alright now.”

I looked at him. He couldn’t even meet my gaze, I knew he wasn’t okay. “Some scars take longer to heal,” I said, slowly, “I don’t know if I’d ever get over something like that.”

“Well I haven’t forgiven him, if that’s what you’re asking. Although, a better person would have.”

What? “What the hell does that mean?” I heard my voice rising, and struggled to keep it calm. “A better person would have?”

“It’s not the whole story. There’s more to it. I—” He went quiet. “Look, I don’t want to talk about it right now, okay?”

“I’m not letting this go,” I said. “But I won’t say anything more now, except that I’m real sorry abou Fr sokay?t the song. And I wished you’d brought up your dad earlier. I’m your friend, yeah?”

Syd landed his green eyes on me. I could see sadness and a flicker of anger there. “That goes both ways, Shane. You want me to open up and tell you painful things about me and my past. I expect the same of you. Were you ever going to tell me you’re in love with your roommate?”

I moved away from him, shocked. “What? How did you…”

“Look,” Syd slumped back, resting his shoulders against the wall, “I don’t want to talk about that right now either. I just need you to know that wearefriends, that you mean so much to me, but I need you to share too.”

How did we end up here? “I…” Of course everything he said was right. True. It was easy for me to claim we were friends, but I’d yet to really show him. Why had I kept putting it off? I did trust him. I—“You’re right,” I said in a small voice. As I slid off his bench, he grabbed my hand and kissed it. “Soon. Okay?”

“Okay.” Chapter Ten

IT WAS JUST past ten by the time I arrived back to my dorm room. It’d ended up being a much shorter evening out than I’d anticipated, but after what happened with Syd, it felt right to go home. And I could tell Lucas was itching to get him back to his place, worried for his darlin’.

Trey wasn’t in, and I felt the urge to go for a run. I chucked on some gear, and jogged through the campus, avoiding the drunken crowds. I still couldn’t shake how bad I felt about Syd. It disgusted me hearing what had happened to him. I certainly hoped Lucas was doing all he could to make him better. But of course he would be. I’d seen the love in his gaze, heard it in his voice.

I passed the cafeteria and rounded the humanities building. My thoughts swirled and collided with each other, and they were annoying as hell—like a sort of, um, itch I could reach. I mean, how was it so obvious I’d fallen for Trey? And if Syd noticed,who else had?

Following the stream winding through the college, I soon ended up at the road leading to the dorms. I wasn’t ready to go back though, so I turned around. Still my thoughts tagged along. What was up with Trey and I really? June had told me he’d come out as gay, and while he had yet to say anything about it himself, I wasn’t stupid enough to think there wasn’tsomethinggoing on. If not, there wouldn’t be any reason to ignore me. Not to mention what had happened with Mom. Fuck, I wanted to know what was in his head. I increased my pace, as if the frustration would sweat out.If only.

My foot caught on something and I crashed hard to the ground, knocking my face. “Fucking, eh!” I pushed myself up, tasting blood. Great. Split lip. I checked around, scanning for witnesses to my embarrassment. Thank God most people out were too drunk to notice. I kicked at the loose brick, jutting out further than the rest. I couldn’t explain it, but the whole evening, in combination with my general bothered-ness, had my eyes prickling with tears. And right now, I didn’t care to hide them.

I continued running, but had to stop after a few minutes. Something dribbled in my eye making it blurry, and it wasn’t sweat or tears. Or it wasn’tjustthat. As I wiped the blood off with the back of my hand, I heard a familiar and very sweet voice calling my name. I twisted to see my sister with a fat bag hanging from her shoulder, and a carton holding two coffees. Wasn’t it a bit late for caffeine? And where did she get it?

With hardly a glance at me, she gasped. “Shoot, Shane, what’s happened?”

Oh fantastic, it was that bad? “Hey June.” My voice sounded funny, because my nose was blocked from crying.

“Are you okay?” “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. I just fell over.”

Fs form finOf course she noted more in my tone than I’d intended to give away; she stepped closer, studying my face like she did all the years at home. With a concerned frown, she touched my arm, and I had to steady her coffees before they tipped over me. “You can tell me the truth you know.”

Dammit, why did I have to cry? Stupid blotchy eyes. “No. I was just beat up by a path,” I said, pointing behind me. “I was…ah—tired and not properly paying attention.”

“You seem to be ‘tired and not paying attention’ a lot lately. Is there something else on your mind? Are you anxious about, you know?”

You know,what?

“Because if it’s making you like this,” she said, slowly, watching me, “you don’t have to visit Dad. I could make up an excuse for you.”

“Oh, Dad,” I said out loud like a dummy. Why couldn’t I just pretend that’d been what this was? It would save any inquisition. “Nah, I’ll be fine.”

Biting her lip, she looked away from me, and in a light voice said, “Um, do you need me right now? We could get you patched up and go someplace to chat?”

I pointed to the coffees. “Looks like you are on the way to meet someone.”

 

“But you need me more, and I—” “June, sweets, I’ll be fine. I’m going to head back and clean this up, okay? You go meet your—”

 

Before I could raise a brow, she answered. “Ah,study date.”

 

“So late?”

“Ahh, well, he’s my lab partner, and he’s going away for the weekend. Our hypotheses and plan outlines have to be in by Monday.” She squeaked a little, trying to laugh, but it sounded fake. “Um…so if you are sure you don’t need me right now, will you promise to meet me tomorrow? There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

I nodded. “Sure. I’ve got hockey practice in the afternoon, so how about we meet for dinner?”

 

“Okay,” June said over her shoulder as she walked away. “Come to my room at seven.”

My head felt a little light, so I walked to the dorms, cutting through the car park. Music leaked through the dorm walls. Oh for Friday night dorm fun. Scanning the side of the building, I slowed. Thanks to our room facing the parking lot, from where I stood I could see right into it. Contrasting to the darkness outside, the warm light glowed, as did Trey, pacing the length of the room, holding a cell to his ear.

Drawn to the room like a—yeah, a moth to a flame, I noticed the windows were tilted open. If I just got a little closer… My shoes crunched over the gravel lining the building. I froze as if I’d been caught doing something wrong. Well, what I was doing wasn’t exactly right, either, but Treyhadlistened to my phone calls, so—well, this was payback.

“I’ll do whatever I can…” He ran a hand through his dark hair. What would it feel like if it were mine doing that?

“Of course I understand the severity…Yup.” A frown dominated his face, and I wished I could erase it. Then he glanced in my direction, and I ducked. I’d been close to the window, but not enough for him to be able to see me easily. At least I hoped.

“I’ll be up again as soon as I can to see you. I’ll catch a bus up, tomorrow morning, okay? I’ll help. You know I’m always here if you need me. I love you—Ma? Ma?” He looked at his cell like there must have been a technical difficulty. But his face screwed up and he threw it on my bed. “And how are you, Trey? I’m feeling fucking awful, but thanks for asking.”

I heard him half sob-half grunt, before he collapsed onto my bed. A mixture of emotions ran through me parallel. Like feeling sad, and worried, and—um, was it bad that I was sort of excited he was on my bed? Fuck watching this! I was going in there to comfort him. I had promised to keep an eye on him, to look out for him. That’s what I’d be doing. thibr/>
As I strode down our hall, a guy I recognized, but couldn’t place a name to, jumped out in front of me.