Shane's Fall (The Escort Series Book 2) (10 page)

She quieted beneath him and as her breathing evened out, he realized she had fallen asleep. He held her that way for a long time. Before he closed his own eyes, he heard her whisper, “Please don’t leave in the morning without saying goodbye.”

***

It was still dark when Shane awoke, but he could tell by the light filtering through the split in the curtains that it was morning. A glance at the clock confirmed it was still early and since it was a Saturday, neither he nor Savannah had to get to school. She was still wrapped in his arms, her legs entangled with his. It was probably her way of trying to make sure he didn’t sneak out on her again. He carefully disengaged himself and slipped out of bed. He made his way to the bathroom and took care of business and started the shower. He made sure to leave the door open so he’d be able to hear if she called out to him. He was only in there a few minutes when he felt the shower curtain behind him move and he watched in silence as she stepped inside. He didn’t bother with words and neither did she as she leaned into his embrace.

Pressing her back against the wall, he took his time exploring her body with his hands and mouth. She reached between their bodies and stroked his erection as he thumbed her pebbled nipples and then bent to suck the drops of water off them. He closed his mouth over hers and reached to lift one of her legs as his cock searched out her warmth. It took only a few thrusts to be sheathed completely inside of her and the hot grip of her body had him rutting against her like an animal. When it finally registered why she felt like a furnace around him, he stuttered to a halt and buried his mouth against her neck in an effort to try and catch his breath.

“Shit, I forgot the condom,” he muttered in shock. He had never been bare inside a woman and he couldn’t believe his lust had overridden his common sense when it came to protecting her.

Savannah was breathing heavy against his ear, her breasts brushing his chest. The contact was making him crazy and he actually thrust against her again before he could stop himself.

“It’s okay, I’m on the pill,” she whispered.

“No, it’s not safe,” he responded, shaking his head even as he felt her flex her internal muscles. His shaft swelled and he forced himself to pull back, but she reached down and dug her hands into the globes of his ass and wrapped her leg tighter around him.

“I trust you,” she said and then she lifted her other leg and he instinctively grabbed it to give her the support she needed to wrap it around his other side. Gravity helped her to slide down his length and he couldn’t help but match the motion with a shift of his hips.

It was stupid and crazy to do this, but he knew he was physically safe – he’d been tested regularly and had never gone without a condom, so the risk was minimal. If he were a better man he would have pulled out of her and done this right, but as her body rippled around his, he knew it was just another notch in the failure column that was his life. He kissed her hard as he began plunging in and out of her. She met his every thrust as her hands wrapped around his upper arms for support.

The hot water caressed them both as he worked their bodies closer and closer to the edge. He felt her start to pulse around him and knew she was close. He reached between their slick bodies and found her clit. He showed her no mercy as he stroked it hard and then felt her nails rake his back as she suddenly wrapped her arms around him and screamed his name. His own orgasm tore through him as he felt the heat of her release all around his throbbing dick and then he was emptying himself inside her.

As her body’s aftershocks milked him dry, he called on his reserve energy to keep them upright because everything in him relaxed as the pleasure snaked through his veins. When their bodies had finally stilled, he pulled free of her and then tugged her under the shower spray and washed her body. She did the same to him and after running towels briefly over each of them, he lifted her in his arms and carried her back to the bed. Within minutes she fell asleep, but Shane lay there for a long time, wide awake and lost in turbulent thought.

***

Savannah woke slowly, her hand automatically searching for Shane in the dim room. Disappointment flooded her when she realized the other side of the bed was empty. She flopped onto her back and dropped her arm over her face as hurt lanced through her – she’d really believed something had shifted between them. She lay there like that for a moment and then pulled herself up. She nearly screamed when she saw Shane sitting by the desk in the wooden chair, his tall frame relaxed.

“You’re still here,” she said stupidly. When he didn’t answer, she pulled the sheet up tighter around her chest. He dropped his eyes at the movement and then looked back up. She was pleased to see desire there.

“I don’t know what to do with you,” he finally admitted.

She had an answer for him but doubted he would like it so she kept her mouth shut.

“I told you things couldn’t be different for us – not like you want – but you still keep coming back to me.” He seemed both sad and confused.

“I just want you Shane. I’ll take what I can get.” She hesitated for a moment and then said, “But it has to be you, the real you. I don’t want the Shane that you want everyone else to see.”

He stiffened and she guessed he was unnerved by her honest observation. He had been fooling people so long with his persona that she supposed it was odd for him to be seen as anything else.

“You’re only going to get hurt when whatever this is ends. And Savannah, it will end.”

She was silent for a moment and then drew her knees up to her chest. “Do you need me Shane?” She pinned him with her gaze. “Do you need me the way I need you? Do you need me to make things hurt just a little bit less? To ease that knot in your stomach that never quite goes away? Because that’s what you do for me. And if that’s all I can ever be for you, I can learn to live with that.”

He was silent for a long time and she held her breath when he stood. In seconds he was over her and pushing her back on the bed so that the sheet loosened and fell to her waist. She wasn’t sure but she swore she heard him mutter, “Yes” an instant before his mouth covered hers and after that there was no longer the need for words.

Chapter 11

Dr. Henderson was an evil genius, Savanah mused as she left the therapist’s downtown office. She had walked into the doctor’s office with every intention of clamming up and brushing off all the inevitable talk about tools and resources she had access to in her mind to fix herself, but then the guy had gone and used his magic on her by simply sitting there. The silence had become awkward and then unnerving, but the man just sat across from her and smiled. He didn’t even have a notepad in his lap so that he could write down what a crazy nut job she was.

Gary Henderson had to be in his late fifties, tall and skinny with a head of thick, white hair. He had sat comfortably in a well-worn, leather desk chair that he placed across from her where she had sat in the center of the plush, cream colored couch. Her legs crossed, arms wrapped protectively around her middle and stiff back had sent her message loud and clear, but he’d just leaned back against that squeaky chair, braced one leg on the other and rested his hands in his lap and smiled at her. No talk of weather, no asking why she was there.

A good ten minutes had passed before she had blurted out that he couldn’t help her, that she had tried therapy before. He’d shrugged. That was it. Savannah had fallen silent again and then her anxiety had started to creep in. That familiar itching had returned and she had begun scratching at her arm. The doctor had watched her for a moment and then stood up and retrieved something from his desk. He had returned to his chair and then scooched it right up to the edge of the couch. If he had sensed her tension at how close he was, he had ignored it and held up what was in his hand.

“Put out your hand,” he had said, motioning to the arm that she was still scratching. She had hesitated when she saw the band he was holding, but then stuck out her left hand. He had quickly placed the band onto her wrist – it was snug, but not uncomfortable. Upon closer inspection, she had realized it was some type of hair tie. The doctor had pushed his chair back to its original position and then had said, “Snap it.”

She’d been confused but had done what he said. The resulting sting was sharp, but the pain had dissipated quickly. She’d done it once more for good measure and then sat back further against the couch to look at the man in front of her in confusion.

In response he’d said, “I’m not here to take away the one thing that brings you comfort, Savannah. And I’m not here to lecture you on how you should stop or get over it. I don’t have some magic words that will fix you. I’m here to listen, to be a sounding board. And if I have a couple of insights along the way, like that,” he said, pointing to the band on her wrist, “Then I’ll give them to you and you decide for yourself if it’s something you want to try.”

She’d relaxed after that - marginally at least, because a part of her was still waiting for the guys in white coats to come in and drag her to a padded cell – and they’d talked about the basics. Her childhood, what she did for a living, the easy stuff. And then it was over and she was walking to her car and somehow had felt a tiny bit lighter – not because she was fixed or cured or even close to any of that, but because the clever bastard had made everything she said or didn’t say her choice to do so. He’d even offered to give her the names of other therapists so she could see which one was the best fit for her and when she’d inquired about another appointment, he’d simply told her to call if and when she was ready to see him again. He’d handed her a business card which included his direct emergency phone number and that was it.

As she crossed the parking lot to her car, her thoughts drifted to Shane. They’d spent most of Saturday in bed at the hotel. When they’d gone past the checkout time, Shane had called down and arranged for them to stay another day and had even had the previous night’s charge moved to his credit card, something she’d fought him on but when he kissed her long and deep, that thought had disappeared pretty quick. He’d returned to using condoms which disappointed her because having him completely naked inside of her had made her feel like maybe there was a connection between them that he would never have with someone else. But she figured it was his way of getting them back on common ground where what was happening to them was about physical need and nothing more.

When their bodies were completely drained, they’d ordered room service which they had shared on the bed, naked. It was only Logan’s phone call to check in with her that had dampened their evening. She’d told her brother she was spending the weekend at a girlfriend’s house for an extended “girls’ night” and that she would be home on Sunday. Since he didn’t know she had no girlfriends, he easily bought the lie and when she had crawled back into bed, the awkwardness between her and Shane was like a lead ball. Before she could tell Shane that she would tell Logan soon, he’d pulled her against him and set them back against the headboard and ordered a movie on the hotel TV for them to watch – another romantic comedy. They’d made it less than halfway through it before they were on each other again and by the time Sunday morning rolled around she could barely walk. He’d walked her to her car, kissed her hard, told her no more hotel rooms and then he’d watch her drive away. There’d been no discussion of their next rendezvous or if there would even be one.

As she reached her car, she thought about calling Shane to let him know about her session but then decided against it. She wasn’t sure what the rules were for who called who the day after a weekend of marathon sex, but since their relationship was anything but normal, she guessed those rules wouldn’t apply anyway. The fact that Shane had stayed with her in the hotel room made her want to declare victory, but maybe he’d just been trying to get what was between them out of his system. And as he had reminded her, everything else was staying the same – he had a girlfriend, a new life in Chicago next year and a passel of beautiful, rich women who were more than willing to pay big bucks to spend time with him.

Self-preservation should have her running for the hills, but she’d meant what she’d said – she would take whatever she could get because he made her feel things that she hadn’t known were possible, and not just sexually. When he gave her one of his secret smiles because she said something silly or said her name in that smooth, silky voice of his, she felt everything inside of her light up. It was foolish because there was only one likely outcome – she would walk away with a broken heart. But at least she’d have the memories to hang on to and that was a lot more than she had before.

***

Logan checked the figures on his laptop for a second time and sighed. The money just wasn’t there. He’d stretched and strained wherever he could, but there was just no way he’d be in the black this year. The renovations would drain everything he had and then some, but it was the only way to make the place profitable. That meant the escort work would have to continue for the foreseeable future. It wasn’t necessarily that he hated the work, it was just something he could live without – it had been and still was an ends to a mean and nothing more.

Escorting had never been for him what it was for Shane who had seemed to thrive on the endless women and mounds of money. He’d never seen someone who could so easily turn themselves into whatever the customer wanted. The man was a chameleon. But he had started to sense something shift in Shane over the past few years. He’d noticed the physical signs first – he’d become more curt and irritable and instead of two drinks he’d have four or five. Not enough to get stone drunk, but as a bartender, Logan could read when people were reaching the point where they were nearing the line from buzzed to blitzed.

It was the darkness in Shane’s eyes and his withdrawal from their group that had Logan most concerned. He had tried attributing it to stress from trying to keep up with the demands of law school and an overbearing father who had decided Shane’s future the moment Michael’s body had been placed in the cold, damp earth. But Shane remained at the top of his class and his mind was one of the sharpest Logan had ever known. And his friend seemed perfectly content to allow his father to decide his fate. He and Gabe had both tried approaching Shane on multiple occasions to try and feel him out about how he really felt about moving to Chicago to take his place in his father’s law firm, but Shane would just wave a hand and say it was what it was.

Logan heard the front door open and light poured into the dark interior as his sister entered. He was sitting behind the bar and immediately stood. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he said tensely as she hurried toward him. She paused at his tone, but then continued her quick pace.

“Nothing. Why?” she asked. She looked nervously around the room but seemed to relax when she saw the place was empty. She’d only been in his bar once when he first began leasing the space and that was when she was much younger. He had tried coaxing her back in on more than one occasion so she could see what he spent so much of his time trying to build, but she had always balked and found some reason not to come. So to see her now made him extremely nervous.

“You never come in here,” he said bluntly.

She looked pained for a moment and then she reached into her purse and put his phone on the counter. “I found this on the table when I got home today. I thought you might need it so I decided to bring it by.”

He relaxed when he saw the phone and then chuckled at his overreaction. Things had been off for so long between him and Savannah that he realized he was always walking on eggshells around her and had no idea what was going on in her life and in her head. Their contact had become so mechanical and non-committal that he had instantly jumped to the conclusion that something terrible had happened.

“How did we get here Savannah?” he wondered aloud.

He saw her stiffen. “What do you mean?” she asked carefully.

“How did we become strangers?” He pulled the phone across the bar and then set it aside. “Did I do something to make you pull away from me?”

She dropped her eyes, but he swore he saw moisture in them. She was silent for so long he was afraid she wouldn’t answer. “I’m just working through some stuff Logan. I just need a little more time.”

He nodded slowly, ignoring the constriction in his chest. He wanted to know more. No, he
needed
to know more – more about whatever had taken the light from her eyes so many years ago and caused her to turn away from him rather than towards him.

“Okay,” he said. “I can wait.”

She nodded and then suddenly reached out to grab his hand and gave it a hard squeeze. She let go before he could respond and then she turned to leave.

“Are you going out again tonight?” he called to her as she neared the door.

“Um, not sure – maybe. I’ll text you if I do.” She disappeared back into the bright light and then he was plunged into darkness once more as the door closed behind her.

“Was that your sister?” came a voice behind him. Sam was walking towards the bar, a box in his burly arms.

“Yeah, I left my phone at home so she was dropping it off.”

“I didn’t know she was back,” Sam commented as he began emptying the box. Sam Reynolds was older than Logan by more than twenty years but his business knowledge and support had saved Logan time and money on more than one occasion. He was a boisterous individual with a thick, deep voice that matched his portly figure – he looked like someone that spent a lot of time watching football on the big screen while downing a bucket of fried chicken. But it was an illusion. His friend was actually quite strong from years of lifting heavy bottles and kegs around, but he also had no problem partying with the patrons of the popular sports bar he ran on the other side of town. Logan had always wondered why his former boss was so willing to help him with the business since Logan’s goal was to have a bar that would ultimately be in direct competition with Sam’s. He supposed that was why the man had bought in as an investor – Logan had actually had to say no when Sam asked for fifty percent so they’d be equal partners.

Remembering Sam’s comment about Savannah, Logan said, “Yeah, she’s been back a few months now. Just started teaching over at the elementary school in Queen Anne. I think she’s dating the father of one of the kids in her class.”

“Good for her,” Sam responded as he placed the last bottle behind the bar and then grabbed the box and headed towards the storage area. “I’ll bring the rest of these up,” he said as he waved the box around.

“Thanks Sam,” Logan said as he went back to work on his laptop to try and find money that just wasn’t there.

***

“Babe, you here?”

Shane flinched at her high-pitched tone, but didn’t respond to Paige’s inquiry. He heard the snick of her shoes as she made her way to the bedroom where he waited on her perfectly made bed.

“There you are,” she muttered with irritation as she strode past him and disappeared into the bathroom. “Jerry’s gallery opening is tonight.” She reappeared in the bedroom looking exactly the same so Shane guessed she must have gone in there for one of her many daily make-up checks. She was dressed in a white pantsuit with sparkling diamonds and bright gold accessories. If it hadn’t been for the ugly red silk scarf she had draped around her thin neck, she could have easily blended into the wall, the nauseatingly white wall in yet another white room. “You should wear the Valentino tonight – the black one but not that god awful teal tie you like so much…it won’t go with my dress.”

She hurried passed him and into her walk in closet. He could see her searching the endless racks of clothes until she found the dress she wanted.