Shane's Fall (The Escort Series Book 2) (5 page)

“You’re so strong Savannah,” he said, his gaze fixated on where their bodies were temporarily linked. It felt so good to touch her, to feel his warmth seep into hers.

She laughed harshly at his statement and tried to pull her hand away, but he wouldn’t release her. She quickly settled and stopped fighting his hold and he couldn’t help but be glad she hadn’t seemed afraid that he was restraining her – maybe that meant she trusted him just a little.

“I’m not. Strong people don’t do this,” she said, jutting her chin towards her injured arm. “Strong people don’t freak out when someone tries to dance with them. Strong people don’t use the people…” she chocked back a sob. “They don’t use the people they care most about.”

A combination of joy and dread shot through him when she said those words. “You didn’t use me,” he said firmly but she shook her head and ripped her hand from his. The cat, sensing her agitation, jumped off her lap and ran out of the room. She stood up and began pacing and he saw her hands ball up into fists.

“I did! I lied to you, I lied to Logan – I lie to him every day! Weak people lie! Weak people are cruel and selfish.”

Anger filtered through him at the rage she was directing at herself. He got up and stalked towards her. She automatically stopped at his approach and then backed up until she hit the wall behind her. She looked scared, but at least he had her attention now. He caged her in with his arms but didn’t touch her. “You are none of those things and I don’t ever want to hear you use those words to describe yourself again.” She was trembling and he knew he was being too rough, but he couldn’t listen to her disparage herself like that – if those words were true then it put her in the same category as him and he knew for a fact that she was nothing like him. He’d had choices and made them – nothing that had happened to her had been her choice.

“Someone hurt you Savannah – someone took something from you that they had no right to take and that makes
them
cruel and selfish and weak – not you! The only thing you are guilty of is not asking your brother or me or Gabe for help sooner and my guess is you have your reasons for that, even though I’ll be damned if I can figure out what they are.”

She swallowed hard but he saw something in her eyes shift briefly – a spark of hope maybe? Was she hearing him? Could he plant a seed in her head that she could draw on later when that darkness came back for her? Maybe that was what he needed to give her – she’d asked him to help her get control back, but maybe she needed more than just control of her body. She needed those pieces inside that that bastard had taken – the ones that reminded her that she was strong and kind and beautiful. Could he give her all of it and still let her go when it was time?

“I’m going to give you what you asked me for Savannah.” She sucked in a breath and he knew she understood what he was talking about. “But I have conditions.” When she remained silent, he continued. “I’m going to show you that your body is yours – that your choices are yours. But I need three things back from you.” He dropped his gaze to her lips which had parted and he was momentarily distracted. He forced his eyes back to hers and said, “One – you have to go talk to someone. A professional. I’ll help you find someone and if you don’t like them, we keep looking until we find one you do like.”

He saw her nod slightly and he felt a shiver of victory go through him. He also felt the stirrings of desire and struggled not to close the distance between their bodies. “Two – you need to understand this isn’t about love or emotion. When it’s over I need you to be able to walk away.”

“You don’t want me to fall in love with you,” she finally said, her voice barely audible even though she was only a few inches away.

“It wouldn’t be love Savannah – at best it would be some kind of knight in shining armor thing.”

“Does it happen a lot?” she asked. “Do the women you’re with fall in love with you?”

Her change of topic unnerved him because talking about his work was definitely not something he wanted to do with her. “Sometimes,” he finally answered truthfully. “But most figure out it’s not real.”

“And that’s how it would be between us.”

“You’re not a fucking client Savannah. It’s not the same thing.”

“What’s the third thing?” she asked.

He dropped his right hand so it closed around the wrist of her injured arm. “If you feel the need to do this, you have to call me first – no matter where you are, no matter what time it is, no matter what the circumstances.”

She waivered for a long moment, but he was patient because he knew what he was asking her to do – she’d have to go without the security that cutting gave her and rely on him to keep her grounded. When she finally nodded, something inside of him let go and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning down to kiss her. It was soft, tender and she relaxed instantly under his mouth. He lingered for a moment and then drew his mouth back.

“Meet me at my place tomorrow after work. You know where it is?”

She balked and said, “What about your girlfriend?”

He stiffened at the mention of Paige. He supposed it was just another mark against his character that he had no problem being unfaithful to the woman everyone viewed as his girlfriend, but who was really nothing more than set dressing in the fucked up little play that had become his life.

“She’s not part of this. She never comes to my apartment.” That was all he was willing to give and she seemed to accept it because she just nodded. The air was awkward between them now, so he drew back. He cast her one last glance as he left her room. Mr. Pickles darted passed him and back into the room as he walked out and he was glad that at least she wouldn’t be alone the rest of the night.

Chapter 6

Logan Bradshaw watched his younger sister jump up from the table for a third time to go rummaging in the fridge, this time for some more orange juice. She topped off her nearly full glass and put the carton in the middle of the table. She’d been like this for the last twenty minutes as they worked together to get their breakfast on the table. He’d been up for almost twenty-four hours now and was planning to hit the sack as soon as she headed off to work. He would have gone to bed as soon as he got home from the bar after finishing inventory this morning around five, but his concern for Savannah had kept him sitting at the kitchen table for the last hour while he waited for her to get up. She’d been surprised to see him sitting there, but had managed to squeak out a polite greeting and ask him if he wanted her to make him some breakfast. He hadn’t really been hungry, but he was worried that if he said no, she’d grab a protein bar and rush out the door just so she could avoid being around him.

It hadn’t always been like this. They’d been very close as children and at five years old, he had taken on the role of protector the moment he met her in the hospital room a few minutes after she’d been born. They’d been a happy family. Busy, but happy. His parents both worked hard, his dad as an engineer, his mom as a teacher. But they both made it to the dinner table each night and he and Savannah had been carted to all the different after-school activities like most kids. His sister had been happy and carefree, always smiling. But one drunk driver on a cold, wet March night had changed all that. He had tried to give that back to her by taking the place of his parents as best as any nineteen year old kid could, but she wasn’t the same. They hadn’t had any other family to rely on, just each other.

The insurance his parents had left behind had helped get them through at the beginning, but between his tuition and everyday bills, the money disappeared quickly. Becoming a professional escort had sounded like the stupidest idea he had ever heard when an Upperclassmen at school approached him and Gabe near the end of their freshman year. But when the guy had told them how much money they could make in one night, it became a lot more attractive than the lousy pay he was making bussing tables at a local seafood restaurant. So he’d done it and the money he walked away with made him feel just a little bit less dirty. He could swallow the shame of selling his body for sex if it meant he could keep his sister safe and give her the life she deserved.

But things had changed shortly before she left for school. She’d become withdrawn and anxious and most of her energy had been focused on getting her grades up high enough that she could get enough scholarship money to fund her dream of becoming a teacher like their mother had been. He’d balked when she told him she was going out of state, but she’d worn him down and he knew that he had to let her go. She came home for the occasional holiday, but had decided to stay on campus each summer so she could pick up some extra classes.

His own life had become harried as he and his business partner and one time former boss, Sam Reynolds, had bought a small bar in the touristy part of downtown Seattle a few years ago and finally started fixing it up earlier this year. Logan had actually started leasing the space while Savannah was still in high school and he’d been working part-time for Sam as a bartender at Sam’s trendy sports bar in the heart of downtown. But when the owner of the spot had decided to sell it, Logan had used all the money he’d managed to save from his escorting work – along with a generous cash infusion from Sam for 20 percent of the business – to buy it. It had taken another three years of hard work and countless escort jobs to get enough money together to refurbish the place enough to get the doors open.

He’d learned quickly that being a bartender and being a bar owner were two very different things and he’d been glad to have both Sam’s money and his expertise. The work was endless and the hours long, but the escorting had made it possible for him to sink more money into the place to get it to where it needed to be and it wouldn’t be too much longer before it was finally operating in the black. His friends often wondered at his simple dream, but it was his and he was okay with that.

Savannah started gathering her dishes up, her food barely touched.

“How was your date last night?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee. He watched her carefully and didn’t miss her hesitate as she started scraping her plate off over the garbage can. The long curtain of her hair was hiding her face from his view.

“He was nice.” The brightness in her voice seemed forced.

“You gonna see him again?”

“Maybe.” She picked up her pace with cleaning off her dishes as well as the pan they’d used to make the eggs. She stuffed them in the dishwasher hurriedly and then rinsed her hands.

Logan wanted to shout at her and demand she tell him why she was different. He wanted to know where along the way he had fucked up because he didn’t recognize this shell of a person in front of him. But he did nothing. He said nothing.

“Bye, sleep good,” she said breezily as she grabbed her things and hurried out the door. He waited several seconds and then flung his half full coffee cup against the wall, brown liquid splattering all over the fading yellow paint that his mother had loved so much.

***

Savannah paused when she thought she heard something shatter inside the house and every instinct told her to go back inside and fix the damage she had done to her brother. But she kept walking to her car which Shane had somehow managed to get back to her in the middle of the night. The keys had been on the usual hook inside the kitchen door. And since her brother hadn’t jumped all over the second she had walked into the room, she figured Shane had kept her secret from Logan.

Bitter tears stung as she thought about her brother’s confused look this morning. She had felt his eyes on her all through breakfast, and the few times she had looked up she could see the hurt in them. It would be worse to see what would be in his eyes if he knew how messed up she really was.

She climbed into her car and got on the road. As she got closer to school, she started to hope and pray that Robert wouldn’t escort his son into class today; maybe he’d just see him to the door and not come in like he had every other morning. The shame of how she had reacted to him last night burned through her. He’d even admitted to her that it was his first date since his wife had passed and she had gone off on him like a raving maniac. She only remembered flashes of his shocked expression and she had no idea what had happened after she’d taken off for the bathroom…after she grabbed that knife.

She realized suddenly that she didn’t even know if Robert had seen that part. If he had and he told the school’s principal, she’d be out of a job. It was a sobering thought, but maybe it was the way things should be – what if something one of her kids did set her off and she had a meltdown in front of a group of five year olds? No, she would never hurt them physically, but she could still cause them trauma.

By the time she reached the parking lot, her hands were trembling. How had her life spun so far out of control? All through school she had kept things together. But she’d also hidden herself away from the world too. Lying to her brother had been a little easier when she didn’t have to look him in the eye. Envy could be ignored when she didn’t have to see people like Gabe and Riley - who were clearly meant to be together – every week at family dinner. Hope was nearly non-existent until she had felt Shane’s touch on her skin, his lips on hers, his body buried deep within her.

Maybe if she’d just stayed away…A knock on her window startled her out of her reverie and she looked up to see one of the other teachers smiling and waving at her. Savannah sucked in a breath and forced herself out of the car. If she just kept moving, kept busy, she could do this.

***

“I need a favor. Several, actually,” Shane said as he dropped down into the booth across from Gabe in the diner. Before Gabe could even respond, a menu dropped down in front of Shane and he looked up to see Nell, one of the diner’s owners, looking at him with accusing eyes. She was a larger woman with grey hair and a round face. Her arms were crossed in front of her and she was actually tapping one foot. Glancing at Gabe, he saw his friend smile and then pretend to read the menu – bastard ordered the same thing every time and didn’t need a fucking menu to do it. He turned his attention back to Nell.

“So, big high class lawyer - Pete’s Eats not fancy enough for you anymore?” Shane almost smiled at the name of the diner – it never failed to amuse him that the place was named after Nell’s husband, a huge tattoo wearing, ex-military guy who did all the cooking in a little white chef hat that was too small for his big, bald head. Nell was clearly in charge of everything when it came to the diner and the way she was looking at him now, he figured he had some fancy footwork to do before she got her big ass husband to thrown him out the front door.

“I’m not a lawyer yet and it hasn’t been that long since I was in last-”

“Three months,” she cut in.

God love this woman, he thought, as he stood and wrapped his arms around her thick frame. She stood stiffly, testament to the fact that she was actually a little angry with him, and then he felt her let out a little huff and hug him back.

“Sorry Nell, things have been busy,” he said.

She nodded against and then released him. “Okay, what are you going to have today? Besides the cherry pie,” she said as she pulled out her order pad.

“Just the pie – I’ve got a class in a bit.” She jotted it down.

“I’ll have the-” Gabe started, but she snatched the menu from him.

“Oh shut it Gabe. I know what you’re having and why you think you can fake read this menu while I’m standing right in front of you, I’ll never know. Thank God you’re pretty,” she laughed as she shook her head at him and then took Shane’s menu and moved on to the next table. Gabe covered his smile until she was gone.

“Name it,” Gabe said to him.

“What?”

“The favors, they’re yours.” Typical Gabe; unquestioning and loyal to a fault.

Shane felt a longing come over him and he realized he actually missed his best friend which was incredibly stupid since Shane was the one pulling away. He shook off the morose feeling.

“I need the name of your therapist.”

Gabe whipped out his phone and a few seconds later Shane heard his own phone ding.

“Done,” Gabe said.

“I also need you to teach someone some basic self-defense stuff.” Gabe leaned back against his seat and Shane knew his mind was turning. His friend had probably thought Shane was asking for the therapist for himself, but he also knew that Shane was fully capable of taking care of himself and didn’t need self-defense training.

“Who?” Gabe asked.

“Well, that’s the third favor. I need you to keep this from Logan. It’s Savannah.”

Gabe instantly tensed and sat forward. He was in full protective mode now and Shane could see his uber alpha male coming out.

“Tell me,” Gabe ordered.

“Gabe, my last favor is that you not ask a lot of questions.” Gabe wasn’t liking that one bit, but before he could respond, Shane said, “It’s not my story to tell.” Gabe snapped his mouth shut and then finally nodded.

Shane knew he wasn’t getting away scot-free when Gabe asked, “What’s your relationship with her?”

“There’s no relationship. I’m just helping her work through a few things. I’ll get her to a place where she can talk to Logan, but I need a little time.” Gabe looked like he wanted to argue the point but he didn’t.

“Have her meet me at the gym tomorrow night at seven.” Shane was saved from having to say anything else because their food arrived. It was the first time he actually had to force Nell’s famous cherry pie down.

***

Savannah wrung her hands as she waited for the door to open. She knew this was a mistake – there was no way she would be able to go through with this. She would tell him what a bad idea this was and go. But when the door swung open and he smiled in greeting, she knew she was a big fat liar. He was wearing jeans and a gray T-shirt and his hair was damp, probably from showering.

“Hey,” he said, swinging the door open to let her in.

Walk away Savannah. Walk away.
She told the voice in her head to shove it and entered the apartment. From the outside, his apartment actually looked more like a warehouse, but it had clearly been renovated into modern, spacious living units. It was an open floor plan with very contemporary fixtures and his décor was masculine but welcoming. The hardwood floor gleamed where the fading sunlight hit it through the floor to ceiling windows. There were actually windows on all three sides of his corner unit so he had a nearly 365 degree view of the city and the water. To her right was a narrow set of spiral stairs leading up to what looked like a bedroom loft. Beyond the stairs was a huge kitchen with cherry cabinets and stainless steel appliances. Directly in front of her was a spacious seating area with plush, oversized brown furniture and a flat screen TV in the corner.

It was very warm and inviting, but what surprised her more than anything were the pictures. Dozens of them all over the bookshelves and side tables and hanging in various sized frames on the walls. They weren’t fancy pieces of art or professionally taken photos – they were pictures of his friends. Shane and Gabe at what looked like the finish line of a race, Gabe and Riley with huge smiles as they mugged for the camera, even a picture of her and Logan from when they were younger. Distracted, she moved closer to the table along the back of the sofa and picked up a picture of a young man she didn’t recognize. He was handsome with an effervescent smile – the mirror image of Shane’s smile on the few occasions she’d seem him truly let loose and be himself.