Shanghai Girl (15 page)

Blushing, I set the cherry aside. "Sorry, Uncle Gordon. I'm perfectly willing to learn as long as you are willing to teach me." Gordon replies with a laugh, "One willing gentleman you have, Sha-fei. I'll be more than happy to help your transition into American society." He raises his glass and says, "Cheers, to your future in Manhattan."

"So you'll sponsor me?" I gasp.

"We'll talk about it. Now, Gan Bei!"

Knowing better than to take the "bottoms up" suggestion literally, I take a sip and instantly cough. "First time," I explain, embarrassed. We both laugh.

Later, sipping cream of asparagus soup and sinking our teeth into the delicacy of Yorkshire Pudding, we talk about my prospects in New York. "I've given your request some thought and here's what I think may work: you go ahead and apply to a graduate program. When everything is ready, you let me know. I'll talk to my attorney and see what I can do. But you have to figure out how you're going to survive. You have to be prepared to work."

"But I'll not be permitted to work," I remind him.

"You've told me that already. When I say work, I'm talking about an attitude, a willingness to endure hardships. All immigrants have to start by paying their dues. America is not paradise. It's simply a land of opportunities for those who are the fittest to survive. It's a big training camp for people with guts. You understand?"

"Yes, I think so. Thank you so much for agreeing to help me with the sponsorship. And thank you for your advice, Uncle Gordon."

"You're most welcome."

"I want to propose a toast: to your health and continued success in business."

"Thank you, my dear. Cheers!"

This time, the liquor tastes smoother. Suddenly, I say, "I wish Father's soul in Heaven could share our joy tonight. Please let me thank you again on Father's behalf."

We exchange addresses. Gordon gives me his office phone number, saying, "It's probably the best place to reach me."

The evening is over before I know it. As I stand at the restaurant exit waiting for Gordon to pick up his coat, I have the strange feeling that I'm losing my father for the second time. Sadly, I go forward to receive Gordon's hug.

"Goodbye, Sha-fei," Gordon says in a throaty tone. "And good luck! When you go to Tao's altar, tell him Gordon still remembers."

"Thank you. I certainly will. If Father has a soul in Heaven, I'm sure he will be happy that you came and helped me."

"I haven't done anything yet. But it certainly is nice to know you."

"Same here, Uncle Gordon. I hope to see you again in New York soon. Bon voyage!"

I wave my bare hand in the freezing wind as Gordon gets into a taxi. As the car door is closed like a camera shutter, the image of Gordon is imprinted on my mind.

One Sunday morning, about two weeks after Gordon returned to New York, I happen to be home when the postman came. A letter from Lu Long! It's odd that a white envelope with two 22-cent stamps featuring a quill can start me palpitating. The letter bearing his familiar handwriting is in Chinese:

"Dear Hong Sha-fei,

So wonderful to hear from you. It'll be great if you can join me in New York soon. I didn't apply to Gotham U. because it’s a liberal arts college, not my field. But I know it has a good reputation. I called Gotham for your application as soon as I received your letter.

You should have all the information within a couple of weeks. Don’t delay in sending it back!

Keep in mind when you apply that a scholarship or a graduate research stipend is crucial. Make sure you apply for one. With your English level, writing a good essay should be possible. Convince them you are truly in need. Since we foreign students can't work in the U.S., we must have financial assistance to survive.

Speaking of survival, surviving was all I did during the winter break. Labs were mostly closed in the department so we research assistants didn't get paid. I worked as a Chinese food delivery boy in freezing cold. Strictly speaking, we are not allowed to work. But it’s hard to enforce every little regulation in a massive city like New York. You'd be surprised how useful the bicycle skills we acquired back in China are here in relation to this job! Funny but sad. Can you believe that I consider myself lucky for having this kind of job for the winter break?

I'm still sharing accommodations with another male student from China in Brooklyn's Chinatown. Life is tough here. I was very naïve before, but I don't regret having come. I really hope you can come also. When we are together, we will be stronger and happier, I’m sure.

Do let me know beforehand the detailed plan of your arrival - sorry, I know I’m jumping several steps ahead and assuming things. But I'll come meet you at the airport, and put you up initially.

Best of luck! Take care, and please write me soon. I miss you very, very much!

Yours,

Lu Long"

Lu Long. Such a good friend! I feel a tug in my heart. He didn't mention anything about his love life. I guess he still doesn't have a girlfriend. He's too busy surviving. His English is not so good. That would limit his social life, I'm sure.

If I go to New York, I'll have three friends at once: Lu Long, Ed and Gordon. How nice.

But when I think about Lu Long and Ed at the same time, I am a bit confused.

Spring 1985. My graduating semester. Each night, I stay late in the library to prepare for the Graduation Comprehensive Exams, and squeeze time out to improve my English as well.

One Tuesday night around 9:30, I return to my apartment. My heart suddenly tightens when I see a small shadow two-thirds Stepfather's size by my door. The dim public light in the hallway makes it impossible to make out whom it is.

"Ah-ya, Sha-fei girl," the shadow says cheerfully. "It's me, your neighbor Aunt Cheng! I've been waiting for you since nine! You study too hard! Guess what I've got for you?"

I utter a deep sigh. Aunt Cheng is obviously hiding something compact behind her back. "What is it?" I ask.

"Take a guess first."

"A letter?"

"Yes. From the U.S.A.! But you'll have to meet my condition before I can show it to you."

"What?"

"You'll have to help me go to America once you are there."

"I can't promise that. I don't even know what the letter says," I protest, reaching out to grab the letter.

Aunt Cheng moves nimbly like a cockroach dodging a hit. "Then you won't know what it says."

"How can you get my mail?" I question.

Aunt Cheng blinks her eyes and says, "Well, the mailman was here and I noticed this letter was from America, so he let me take it."

I extend my hand and plead, "Can I have it now? It's late and I have school tomorrow. I beg you to please give me my letter."

"I waited for more than half an hour," she reminds me in a tone ready to strike a bargain.

"Okay, Aunt Cheng. Thank you very much. Let me have the letter now and I'll tell you what it says tomorrow. Is that all right?"

"All right. Let me follow you to your apartment and I’ll give it to you inside.”

Reluctantly, I agree. She follows me in like a shadow. “Here," she says, sheepishly handing me the letter.

I look at the letter: not only has it been opened, there's also a hole on the upper right hand side. “How could you open my mail?” I shout at her.

Aunt Cheng gives me her prepared line, “If you tell me what it says, I’ll tell you why I dared to open it.” Then, she points to the apartment of Master Worker Wu and cups her hand to my ear. “They’ve asked me to look at your letters from America. If it’s in Chinese, then I can understand. It must be from your rich relative. But this one’s in those curly foreign bugs.” She makes a helpless gesture with her hands and says, “Sorry, Sha-fei girl. What does it say?”

I feel my eyeballs are on fire. I clutch onto the doorframe of my apartment in order not to scream. “So you all have been spying on me?”

“
Not spying, really, just concerned,” Aunt Cheng continues in a hushed voice. “Mrs. Wu said that you were told to report your activities with your American relative, but you never did.”

“
Well, they wanted his ‘suspicious’ acts. I couldn’t see anything suspicious.”

Aunt Cheng holds my hand and smiles reassuringly. “Don’t worry, Sha-fei girl. We know that. Actually we consider him a patriotic overseas Chinese businessman. He does business with China and our investigation shows that he has a patriotic Chinese heart. So don’t worry.”

Is Mr. Chen behind all this?” I ask, remembering that she works in Chen’s office in the University and is very close to him.

“
No, no. Don’t be like a Jing Gong Zhi Niao, a bird frightened by the twang of a bowstring. Comrade Old Chen is too busy with university-wide issues to worry about this. It is Master Worker Wu who’s taking the initiative. But you know me, Sha-fei girl.” She suddenly takes my hand and continues, “You know me. I’m always on your side. Would I be telling you all this if I was not? Besides, I never like the Wus.”

I free my hand and question, “Then, why are you so anxious about the contents of my letter if not to report back to them?”

“
No, Sha-fei girl. I have my own motives. Good child, if you succeed in going to America, you shouldn't forget your poor Aunt Cheng. I want to go to Mei Guo, too. I can't stand my Si Lao Tou beating me up anymore. You know my fate." My heart softened. The Si Lao Tou, or "dead old head," was her way of cursing her husband, a factory worker, member of the “leading class” during the Cultural Revolution. Not that his beating her was news to me. The neighbors could hear her screams and cries regularly.

"Is that really why you opened the letter?” I ask in a gentler voice.

“
Yes. Well, originally to ‘shoot two eagles with one arrow,’ so to speak. But I’ve now changed my mind. I won’t mention anything to the Wus. The Wus are social climbers, but what’s in there for me? Nothing! I’ve always been good to you, right, Sha-fei?”

I let out a loud breath. “And what happened to the stamps?”

“
My son loves foreign stamps. You don't mind that I took off the stamps for him, right?"

I shake my head in disbelief. But fait accompli. What else can I say? "No, I don't. Thanks for the letter. Have a good night, Aunt Cheng."

"I'll ask you tomorrow, then," says my neighbor with a big smile.

With the door closed behind me, I finally get the chance to take a good look at the content of the letter: "The Admissions Board of Gotham University is pleased to inform you that you have been admitted to the Political Science Program leading to a Master of Science degree, beginning Fall 1985." Again and again, I read the sentence, pinching myself that this is real.

When I calm down, I realize that the letter didn't mention any scholarship or research assistantship. The Chinese government allows a private student going to America to exchange for a maximum of US$40. No RMB, the Chinese "People's Money," is allowed to be brought overseas to convert to foreign currencies, either. Life in New York with little money will be difficult, but I'm determined to go anyway. I already know three people in New York - Lu Long, Ed, and Gordon. I'm sure I'll find a way to survive like Lu Long is surviving once I get there. Father had wanted me to be a survivor first, an achiever later. Going to America on my own will be my ultimate test.

There remains one last hurdle. Will I be able to get official permission from the university to go abroad without letting Stepfather find out beforehand? I have to win over Aunt Cheng completely and strike a deal with her. Aunt Cheng works directly for Mr. Chen, and they maintain a very friendly relationship. Ever since my mother moved to Nanjing to live with Stepfather, Aunt Cheng has been hoping to increase the living space of her family of four by being assigned my apartment by the university. If I go abroad, there’s a strong chance her wish will be granted. This is the other reason she hopes to see me go abroad.

The following day, I tell Aunt Cheng the contents of the letter, as promised, and say to her, “If Mr. Chen does not sign the permission, I can’t go to the U.S. despite my admission to the school in America. You’ve got to help me.”

“
Don’t worry, Sha-fei girl. You leave this to me. I’ll personally make sure that Comrade Old Chen signs the permission.”

“
Still, I’m afraid of my stepfather finding out. You know he’s friends with Mr. Chen. What if Stepfather doesn’t allow me to go abroad?”

Aunt Cheng stares at me blankly.

“
I have an idea: if you can promise that Mr. Chen doesn’t tell Stepfather, you’ll be one hundred percent sure to get my apartment. And I won’t sell any of my furniture. I’ll give it all to you. But if my stepfather finds out before I leave, I’ll tell your husband that you want to go to the U.S. as well. I know you also spied on me, together with the Wus. If other people in the university hear about this, you know you won’t get the apartment!”

“
Don’t say things like that, please, Sha-fei. We are all comrades. As Chairman Mao said, ‘All these in the revolutionary ranks should look after each other, care for each other, and help each other.’ I guarantee you that everything will be all right,” Aunt Cheng vows.