Shattered (3 page)

Chapter Four

“Unacceptable Realities”

I liked you.

What the hell kind of game was this guy playing? And why would he even be playing games? He was getting what he wanted. It wasn't as if he had to trick Abel into thinking he cared, so he could coax him into bed. So what the fuck?

Abel didn't respond or reply. In truth, he didn't know what to say. The man had thrown him a curve ball. And one that had hit him where it hurt the most.
Don't you dare think of me as more than just a paid-for piece of ass.
He might speak bitterly about his role here, but he was still comfortable with it; the lines were clear, just as they were at the club – pleasure for pay. He didn't need Kaplan disrupting that balance.

Nothing else was said about Kaplan's confession as they de-boarded the plane and climbed into a limo. Kaplan spoke to the driver in another language that sounded like Italian, and then they were moving. “We're in Italy.” Kaplan told him as if he'd asked. “Rome.”

Abel stared out the tinted side window. Savannah would have loved this, traveling to other lands, taking scores of photos. It was so unfair – she was the one with the zest for life. Thoughts of his sister brought on an assault of guilt.
You just left her. She's sick, she needs you and you just left her, without even saying goodbye. What if something happens to her while you're gone? You won't even have that one last goodbye
. He squeezed his eyes shut as they began to burn. Shut up! Nothing's going to happen to her. Max and Cole and Gabe...they're going to look after her, get her set up with the other doctor, get her the medication she needs.

He had given his bank card and information to Cole so they could take care of everything. He trusted the man with his life, and consequently, Savannah's as well. But she needs you, and you know it. You're the one who truly makes her feel safe. He swallowed hard and discreetly rubbed at his eyes.

“I'm sorry.” Kaplan spoke up. “For slapping you.”

Abel shrugged and continued to stare out the window. “Doesn't matter.” he mumbled.

“It does to me.” Kaplan said. “I wasn't...” he sighed. “I wasn't trying to be mean, Abel.”

“I know.” Abel murmured dully. And he did know; it was a 'snap out of it'
slap...the kind one administered to a hysterical person, to bring them back to their senses and regain a sense of reality. Except, he had been speaking reality.

“Well it won't happen again.” the man assured quietly.

Abel could feel the man's eyes on him but he refused to look at him. He was suddenly more afraid of the man now than he had been last weekend. What happened to the man he had met at the penthouse apartment? The man who had insisted what a great fuck he would be? That man had kept the lines drawn and clear – he was paying Abel for access to his ass. Even last weekend, all his talk of getting his money's worth – that was keeping those lines prominent as well. As long as all this was referred to as a contract, a business deal – then it made it safe. There were no other dangers. But now, the way Kaplan was talking, it was making Abel uneasy.

“Here.” Kaplan said and took Abel's hand, placing something in his palm. “I thought you could use this.”

Abel glanced down and stared at the cell phone. He frowned. “I already have a phone.”

“This is an international phone.” Kaplan explained. “And...very secure. In case you wanted to call your friends, or your sister.”

Abel's lips pressed tight and his eyes stung again.
Just stop it! Stop being nice to me
. His chest heaved as his breath quickened and an ache squeezed his throat. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you give this to me?” Abel whispered thick.

Kaplan shrugged. “I just thought you might want to have a line back home.”

“I mean...why do you care...if I can talk to them or not?”

Sighing heavy, Kaplan cleared his throat, “I realize the fact that I'm...paying for you...doesn't exactly set me up as a stand up kind of guy. But...I'm not completely heartless either.” He shifted on the seat and sighed again. “It's a gift, Abel. No strings attached. It has nothing to do with our...arrangement. I thought you might like it, so I got it for you. Can't you just accept it as a simple gesture of...good will?”

Abel stared at the phone then slowly opened it. The device was much higher grade than the simple one Max had given him.

“I took the liberty of adding a few names to your contact list, and programming their numbers into the speed dial.”

Abel opened the contact list to find the entries for Max, Cole and Gabe, and the number to the hospital, simply listed under Savannah's name. “How did you...”

“Max.” Kaplan said. “He told me who you would probably want to call, besides your sister.”

Closing the phone, Abel held it against his lap. “Thank you.” he whispered, his throat suddenly tight.

Kaplan rubbed his hand down the back of Abel's head. “You're welcome.” he murmured. When Abel glanced at him, a soft smile lingered on the man's lips and a look akin to gratitude glimmered in his eyes.

***

“Thanks for coming with me.” Cole's eyes narrowed slightly, tight with tension, as he walked at a quick pace down the hospital corridor. Gabe matched his stride.

“Yeah, well.” Gabe said. “It's probably best if you're not alone, in case you encounter the doc.”

Cole grunted and simply nodded. They stopped at the elevator and Cole hit the up button. “I don't know how long I can get away with not telling Savannah where Abel is.”

“Where exactly is he?” Gabe asked. “I know Max said Kaplan would take him out of the country, but he didn't say where.”

Cole shook his head. “I don't know.” His gut had yet to unclench from the thought of Abel being so far away with someone like Horatio Kaplan. Max seemed to think Abel was safe enough – but how safe could he be with someone who would pay out that kind of cash just to fuck a kid shy of twenty years old?

The elevator chimed and the doors opened. They went to enter – and nearly collided with Devlin. The doctor physically recoiled, bumping into his colleague. The man chuckled, “Walk much, Devlin?”

Devlin released a short, anxious laugh. His eyes looked heavy, tired, slightly bloodshot from lack of sleep, no doubt. The man's dark hair was somewhat disrupted as if he'd been running his fingers through it. The left side of his jaw sported a prominent bruise where Cole's fist had landed. Wonder how he explained that one. Cole and Gabe moved to the side as Devlin hurriedly exited the elevator with his colleague right behind him, and walked away down the corridor.

Staring after him, Gabe murmured, “Don't he look like shit. Something tells me he ain't sleeping much at night.”

They stepped into the elevator and Cole hit the button that would take them to Savannah's floor. “Good.” Cole muttered. “Hope he's fucking miserable, after what he did to Abel.”

Gabe sighed and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans, gazing absently at the floor. “You know what hurts Abel the most.” Gabe slowly raised his head and looked at Cole. “Is that he totally unhinged Devlin's world and tore it apart.”

“That wasn't Abel's fault.” Cole said tightly. “He didn't turn the man's brother into a fucking pervert. Devlin not knowing about it didn't change what the fucker was.”

“I know.” Gabe nodded. “But Abel looks at it differently. He only sees that he caused Devlin to lose his brother twice.”

“He insisted Abel tell him the truth.”

“Hey.” Gabe looked at him firmly and touched his arm. “I'm not defending the guy. You think I don't want to rip his head off for talking to Abel the way he did? I saw what it did to the kid, and I don't think I'll ever get that out of my head, that look in Abel's eyes. It was like...” an ache crept into his voice. “Like he just died...right then and there.”

***

It took awhile to coax his heart from his throat and back down into his chest. Coming face to face with Cole and Gabe so suddenly and unexpectedly had nearly stopped his heart on the spot. The bitterness in Cole still simmered close to the surface, there'd been no mistaking that reality. And he didn't seem opposed to freshing up the bruise on Devlin's jaw.

When he stopped at the nurses' station and was handed a chart, he realized his hands were shaking, and squeezed them into fists then shook them out, trying to dispel the tremors.

Just get a grip already. They're not going to assault you in the middle of a hospital
. But it wasn't fear that had him suffering the shakes – it was the recollection of their last encounter. Just seeing them again brought it back full force and in painful clarity; standing face to face with Abel one moment, holding him, swearing he would understand, he wouldn't walk away...and the next moment...

His eyes stung and he wiped at them quickly, clearing his throat. The look in the boy's eyes haunted him like the grim reaper, ready to rip his soul from his body. He tried to tell himself that Abel was of no consequence to him anymore, but the memory of how the boy felt in his arms, how complete he'd felt when they'd made love – it was still too fresh, too real. And whether he wanted to admit it or not...losing Abel was slowly killing him. Every breath hurt, every second without his beautiful face there for him to gaze at – it was hell. His arms ached to feel the boy buried deep inside them. And though he tried to hate him for the things he'd said about Craig – his heart refused.

Devlin went to the cafeteria, bought a cup of coffee and sat at small table in the far corner. His hands were still shaking and he didn't how to make them stop. He was terrified to stop and let his mind just think, analyze what Abel had told him. And he didn't know why it scared him so bad. His faith in his brother, who he had grown up with, was solid, secure...wasn't it?

Images from his dream materialized behind his eyes and he tried to force them out. That was just a dream. Craig would have never done something like that. He...

***

“Hey!” Twelve-year-old Devlin giggled when Craig tugged open the shower curtain. “What're you doing? I'm taking a shower.”

“So?” Craig smirked and his eyes ran down the boy's naked body. “Mom says hurry up, dinner's almost done.”

“Okay, I'll hurry.”

“Yeah, well, I know how you hurry.” Craig rolled his eyes. “The food will be cold, and I don't want to eat a cold dinner.” He grabbed the soap and started rubbing it all over the boy's body.

“What're you doing?” he laughed.

“Helping you hurry.” Craig shook his head and grinned, a sudden heaviness to his eyes as he washed down between the boy's legs, his hand slowing a bit, rubbing more thoroughly.

The boy squirmed. “Okay.” he laughed anxiously and stepped away. “I'm clean. I'll get out.”

Craig set the soap on the corner of the tub. “All right then.” he smirked, his breath somewhat quick. He smacked the boy's ass lightly. “Get a move on, sexy.”

***

The memory of that day rushed through his mind and Devlin shook his head, throat tightening. No, that wasn't anything. Craig had just been goofing off. He was always goofing off and messing with him, teasing him.

His head dropped and he raked his fingers through his hair, jaw tightening, causing an ache to wind up into his face. No, Craig wasn't like that. What happened that day was innocent. He'd just been...playing. He hadn't used it as an excuse to...

No. You're wrong. You're remembering it all wrong, dammit! You're only remembering it that way because Abel planted that seed in your head. But that isn't how it fucking happened. It isn't!

Chapter Five

“Another World”

Abel couldn't help but be impressed as they were welcomed at the Rome Cavalieri hotel and admitted at the VIP reception area. The architecture, paintings, antique fixtures and moldings; he'd never seen anything like it – not even in the hotel in Paris.

He followed as an elegantly dressed young Italian man led them to a private elevator and escorted them to their suite on one of the executive floors. Abel felt his own eyes widen as they entered what seemed to him like a small mansion. He couldn't begin to imagine the cost of such a room per night; it had to be in the thousands.

When they were left alone, Kaplan smiled, clearly amused by Abel's awestruck expression. “Nice, huh?” he chuckled softly.

Nice? Nice was so far off it wasn't even in the same universe. “Yeah.” Abel breathed.

“Here. You'll want to see this.” Kaplan led him through the living room up a spiral, polished wood staircase that emerged onto a rooftop terrace. A glass railing ran along the edge, and to their left was a large hot tub, roiling, glowing with underwater lights. It was encased in a polished wood frame with matching steps leading up to the edge. Multiple plush loungers were spaced across the terrace.

Kaplan walked him to the railing. The view was breathtaking, to say the least. “They call it the eternal city. Wait until tonight, the view after dark is amazing.”

It seemed he had been caught in some alternate dimension. How could this be a part of the same uncaring world he grew up in? This was too...beautiful to be a part of that world, too awe-inspiring.

“You okay?” Kaplan murmured, a smile twitching his lips.

“Yeah.” Abel swallowed thickly then looked at the man. “It's...” he shook his head and smiled. “I don't even know a word for it.”

Chuckling, Kaplan nodded slowly, “I love to see the expression on the face of someone seeing all this for the first time.” He leaned his elbow on the rail, eyes glowing as he gazed at Abel. “It makes me see it anew all over again.”

An unexpected – and disturbing – jealousy twitched Abel's gut; how many boys had Kaplan brought here? What? Did you think you were special? Remember who you are and where you come from – you're just a weekend fuck for the man, and nothing more. So don't get caught up in all his sweet talk.

“Do you bring all of them here?” he asked quietly, reaching for casual and struggling to keep the tightness out of his voice – and failing.

“All of who?”

Abel licked his lips and gazed out over the railing. It kind of made him think what heaven might look like. Not that he would ever find out. This was surely as close as he would ever get. “The other boys you pay for.” he murmured, hating that the thought of it made his stomach hurt. Why should he care? This was a business arrangement, nothing more.

A pleased smile jerked at the corner of Kaplan's mouth – as if he could detect Abel's quiet jealousy. “You're the first.” Was he lying? “I only bring those here who I believe can and will appreciate the beauty of it all. Why waste it on someone who has no sense of wonder?”

Abel rested his hands on the railing. “Why did you think I would appreciate it?”

“Because I saw your face when we stayed in the hotel in Paris.” he said. “You weren't impressed by the wealth of it all...but the beauty.” He reached out and slid his fingers through Abel's hair. “I knew then that I would bring you here. A place like this...it can't help but force us to view this world, this very life, in a different light.” He stroked the back of Abel's head softly, “And I think if anyone ever needed a fresh view of this world...it's you.”

Tears stung and Abel looked away, his chin trembling. He didn't know why he wanted to cry, but the tears were right there, threatening to flow. Kaplan took his hand and drew him close, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him into his embrace. Abel tentatively slid his arms around the man and let him hold him. He'd never hugged him before, and this one felt...personal.

Kaplan's lips touched Abel's temple. “Not everything in this world is ugly and painful. Some of it is...healing. And beautiful. And reminds us that life can be a good thing, something to savor and treasure...and not merely an existence we're just trying to survive.”

Abel tried to conjure up cynical thoughts of 'That's easy for you to say, when have you ever had it rough?' but they wouldn't come. He laid his head on Kaplan's shoulder and closed his eyes, a part of him wishing he could stay right here, in this world forever – and never have to go back to the other where only pain and heartache awaited him.

***

“So you're gonna be flying the coop in a few days, huh?” Cole sat on the edge of Savannah's bed. “Awesome. I bet you're ready to get out of this place.”

The girl nodded and smiled. “Yeah. Everyone's real nice, but I'm so bored.”

Cole chuckled. “I bet.”

Standing at the end of her bed, Gabe asked, “So what do you want to do first?” he grinned. “It'll be our treat, whatever you want.”

Savannah's eyes narrowed as she gazed thoughtfully. Cole glanced at Gabe and smiled, then turned his eyes back to the girl. “I would've thought you'd had it all figured out by now, having all this time to do nothing.”

Laughing, Savannah shrugged. “Well, Abel did get me an awesome camera. Maybe we could go to
the zoo and take pictures of the animals?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Cole nodded.

“Yeah.” Gabe smiled wryly and winked at Savannah. “And while we're there, Cole can visit his relatives.”

“Who?” Savannah frowned, smiling.

“The gorilla's, of course.” he smirked.

Savannah laughed and Cole glared at the man. “You, buddy, just earned yourself a thrashing.”

“See, a brute.” Gabe smiled at Savannah. “Just like his family.”

Cole shook his head, lips twisted in an amused smile. “Just wait. You're gonna get it.” When he glanced Gabe, the guy shot him a quick 'Can't wait' look that jabbed him in the crotch. He cleared his throat and released a controlled breath, then turned his focus to Savannah. “So, you're being turned loose on Monday?”

She nodded, “Yeah-” the phone on the portable table rang, making them all jump a little. Savannah just stared at it.

“Want me to get it?” Gabe asked. The girl nodded. He grabbed up the receiver and smirked, “Savannah Sims room, can I help you?” The wry smile on his lips faltered then evolved into a different, softer smile, his voice almost cracking, “Yeah...she's right here.” he handed the receiver to Savannah, “I think you will want to take this call.”

“Who is it?” she frowned, a partial smile on her lips.

Gabe just smiled at her as she took the phone. Cole looked at him, and cocked an eyebrow as if to ask the same thing. Gabe just held up his hand for Cole to wait.

Pressing the receiver to her ear, Savannah spoke soft, hesitant, “Hello?”

Cole's brow pinched as he watched the girl's face slow
ly brighten until it seemed the sun itself was shining behind her eyes. “Abel!” Tears glossed her eyes. “It's really you.”

“Abel?” Cole shot Gabe a stunned look, then stood up and walked around the end of the bed. “How is he calling? Isn't he...overseas?”

“He said he would explain later. Right now, he just wanted to talk to Savannah.”

“Where are you?” Savannah asked, then paused before adding, “why can't you tell me? Why did you leave?”

Cole drew Gabe over by the door. “How did he sound?” he asked, concerned.

“He sounded...good.” Gabe murmured. “Surprisingly good, in fact. Whatever kind of person Kaplan is or isn't, he seems to be keeping Abel's mind off all this shit back here. Which is exactly what he needs – to just let it go for awhile and...relax.”

Nodding slowly, Cole rubbed his lips together. “I hope you're right...that he's doing good. I just...” he shrugged. “I miss him already. And I just feel better when he's right here where we can watch over him.”

“Me too.” Gabe admitted. “But I think that being right here, right now...isn't a good thing for him. Even if Devlin doesn't turn him in. The man shattered his heart..
.he needs time away to...heal.”

***

The man shattered his heart.

Devlin had just started to push open the door to Savannah's room – hoping desperately that the men were gone by now – and had stopped short at the sound of their voices so close on the other side. His mind told him to leave right then, but he couldn't move when they mentioned Abel and...Kaplan? Who was this Kaplan? Where had he taken Abel? Devlin's guts twisted painfully when he recalled Abel's confession of selling his body to a wealthy man. Was that who Kaplan was – the high class John who used Abel like he was nothing more than a piece of ass?

What do you care? It's over between the two of you. No coming back from this, remember?

Devlin backed away from the door, his throat closing quick, an ache burning up his neck, through his face and into his eyes, filling them with tears. The man shattered his heart...he needs time away to heal.

Devlin's legs trembled, weakened as he moved quickly away from the room and stepped around into the same alcove he had hidden in the night Abel had come to see his sister...his words from that night suddenly making sense to him now.

Sliding down the wall, Devlin sat on the floor, head in his hands. Oh God...what have I done? He struggled to cling to his pristine memories of Craig, insisting that Abel was the one lying, the one in the wrong. But more and more it seemed
he was losing that battle as memory after memory began to push out from behind that solid door that Devlin hadn't even realized was there in the deepest part of his mind – a door he had kept locked up tight until...Abel broke those locks and allowed the monster to show its face.

But even then, Devlin found himself turning away, too terrified to look; what secrets had remained locked up in there with it? What all had he blocked out about his brother...and what Craig had done to him? If it was all for real – how could he not remember it? How did someone just forget stuff like that?

Maybe he hadn't. Maybe it wasn't real. What if the part of him that wanted Abel so much...was causing him to turn on his brother to justify Abel? How could he be so quick to just throw away Craig's memory?

“I'll find out the truth, big brother.” he whispered and wiped at his eyes. “I know you're not...that man. I know you were good.” he lowered his face to his arms, the tears breaking, b
ody shaking. “I know you were.”

***

After talking to Savannah, Abel spoke with both Cole and Gabe. Though he'd been away for barely a day, it felt good to hear their voices. When he finally said goodbye and closed the phone, he leaned against the rail of the terrace and took in the view yet again. He couldn't get enough.

The sun was fading and lights were coming on, reaching out as far as the eye could see. It would truly be a sight when night dropped down on them entirely.

“How's she doing?” Kaplan emerged from the suite and approached Abel.

“Good.” Abel nodded, a smile sneaking across his lips. “Cole and Gabe were there. She'll be released on Monday. Cole said that Max will get her set up with the other doctor.” His face tightened a bit. It hurt to be so far away when she was going through so much right now. He'd always been there for her.

“But you wish you were there to take care of it.” Kaplan said. “To take care of her.”

“Yeah.” Abel rubbed his thumb absently on the back of the phone. “For most of our lives...I was the only one she could count on. I've always been there.”

“And you're there for her now.” Kaplan cupped the side of Abel's neck. “In your own way. By staying safe, you're preventing yourself from being taken from her for real. You will be back together. Perhaps soon. And if it looks as if you need to stay away, then,” he shrugged and rubbed his thumb gently across Abel's cheek. “then we'll just bring her to you. They have excellent doctors over here as well.”

Abel could only stare at him; he would do that? Bring Savannah over here? He ducked his head and looked away. “I don't...understand you.” he whispered thickly.

“What's so difficult to understand?” Kaplan mused.

“Why...why would you do all this...” he shook his head then looked at the man. “I don't...get it?”

Kaplan shrugged and smiled. “I told you. I like you. And sometimes,” he brushed the back of his fingers down Abel's cheek. “it pays to be liked by a wealthy man.”

Abel trembled. “I'm beginning to...believe you.” he whispered, swallowing hard past the knot in his throat as he stepped closer and kissed the man's lips, almost hesitantly at first, then leaned into it as Kaplan groaned soft and wrapped his arms around him.

Their kiss deepened and Kaplan rubbed his hands down Abel's back, gently gripping his hips. The man's want for him made itself known as their bodies pushed together. Warm breath puffed unevenly from between Kaplan's lips as the kiss dispelled and they stood unmoving, silent.

Abel shifted his head slowly and kissed the man's throat. Kaplan tilted his face up, another groan sliding up across his tongue to
push out from between his lips.