Shattered (7 page)

Chapter Twelve

“Love's Lament”

“I talked to Max earlier.” Kaplan stretched out on the thick, soft lounger on the rooftop terrace, his exquisite body nude and soaking up the afternoon sun. Abel lay naked on a second lounger, his skin still damp from their recent dip in the hot tub. His gaze traveled up and down Kaplan's body as it occasionally shifted. Kaplan turned his head and looked at Abel, his eyes doing a quick sweep down Abel's form and back up again. “He said he...spoke with the doctor.”

Abel tensed and glanced away. Just the slight mention of Devlin and he felt the force of his loss all over again.

“Max says it's okay for you to come home.” he said, a note of regret in his voice. “You're not in any danger.”

It was never the fear of being arrested that caused Abel to want to be this far away – it was Devlin himself. He couldn't face him again. Abel shook his head, pulse quickening. “I don't want to go back. I don't want to see him again.” His throat tightened suddenly, squeezing his words off at the end, betraying his emotions.

Kaplan stared at him, then stretched out his hand across the short space between them. “Come here, Abel.”

Abel looked at him, then left his seat and stepped over to Kaplan's lounger. The man scooted over and motioned for Abel to lay down next to him. When he did, Kaplan turned onto his side and drew Abel against him, kissing him softly. His hand flattened on Abel's back and rubbed soothingly. “I'll support whatever you want to do. I have a private villa outside of Rome. If you want to stay over here, then you and your sister can call it your new home.”

He was offering them a home in Italy? “Why...would you do that?” Abel whispered.

Sliding his fingers slowly through Abel's hair, an ache shadowed the man's eyes. “Because I know what it's like to try and be around someone you love...without the freedom to be with them.” he stroked the boy's hair. “It hurts like hell.” he rubbed his other hand down over Abel's hip. “But then again...if there is a chance...” he shook his head, and a slight sheen of tears glossed his eyes. “Don't throw it away. You'll regret it for the rest of your life. If you love this man...then fight for him.”

Abel stared at him, throat working. When he'd first met Kaplan, he wouldn't have thought the man would know love if it slapped him in the face. But he saw it now, deep behind his lovely eyes, a distant anguish that could only be born of heartbreak.

“Did you?” Abel asked thickly.

“Did I what?”

Licking his lips slowly, Abel spoke quietly, “Did you fight for the man you loved?”

The ache pulsated with more prominence in the man's gaze. “I tried.” he murmured. “But...I had nothing to fight with.” He rubbed the back of his fingers down Abel's cheek. “But you can fight. Love should never be surrendered without first waging an all out war to preserve it.”

A shudder ran through Abel and he laid his head against Kaplan's shoulder. “He hates me.” Abel buried his face in the man's throat, sobs breaking his words. “There's nothing left to fight for.”

Kaplan's arms went around him and held him tight, his lips touching his hair. “If he experienced your love...even just one time,” he whispered, “then there's still something there. If he gave you his heart...I guarantee – you still hold it.”

***

It tore him up to break your heart this way.

Devlin stood numbly in the elevator, back pressed into the same corner where Abel had stood when he'd trapped him and insisted he tell him the truth. You fuck! Devlin ducked his head, his hand sliding across
his mouth as his heart made its final break. He slid slowly to the floor of the elevator, the tears coming in a forceful flood. His body shook. “You fucker.” he choked. “You promised him! You swore you wouldn't turn on him! You wouldn't...stop loving him.”

His knees drew up tight to his chest and he shoved his face against his knees, clawing his hair, an anguished wail pushing up his throat.

Everything you feel for me will go away...you won't love me anymore.

“I'm sorry, baby.” Devlin cried. “I'm so sorry!” After all Craig had done to him, the boy had still loved Devlin enough not to want to hurt his memory of the man. Where a typical human being wouldn't have cared to rip apart the memory, expose the monster – Abel had absorbed the pain, tried to hide the truth...just to protect Devlin. You are an angel, baby...a real live angel. And I ripped off your wings and broke your halo.

Was there redemption for someone like him? Who could take such a perfect, beautiful creature – and dash him against the rocks until he was crippled and bleeding?

When the elevator stopped and the doors opened, he was thankful no one was waiting outside. He could imagine the sight he must be – huddled on the floor in the corner, hair mangled, face flushed and wet with tears, eyes bloodshot and puffy. He shoved himself to his feet and finger combed his hair as best he could then wiped his face.

He entered the nearest restroom and washed his face, but when he looked in the mirror – he still looked like death warmed over. Staring into his bloodshot, vacant eyes, he realized he'd died that day in Abel's apartment. The second he reached into the boy's chest and crushed his heart – his own had stopped as well. Even then, somehow, deep down, he'd known Abel was telling the truth. That's why, in the far reaches of his mind, he'd been begging Cole to just beat him into oblivion.

If Abel did come back – could he even look the boy in the eye? Could he bear witnessing the damage he had done...knowing there may be no way to fix it?

***

“What do you think Kaplan's game is?” Gabe asked. Cole shrugged and opened the door to Abel's apartment. “I mean, he told Abel twenty-thousand, right?”

“As far as I know.” Cole stepped inside and Gabe entered behind him, closing the door. “The whole arrangement with him and Abel make me want to hate the guy. But the truth is, he's looking out for Abel. Why? I have no clue.”

Gabe nodded slowly. “Abel did sound good on the phone. I mean, I know he's still hurting like hell, but...it at least seems like he's keeping his head above water.”

“I hope so.” Cole murmured. He went to Savannah's bedroom and picked out a set of clean clothes. She would be coming home tomorrow and she needed something to wear. Her nightgown was all she'd had on when they'd rushed her to the hospital that night. God, it seemed like ages ago. How could so much...bad...happen in such a short period of time? It seemed enough to last these two kids multiple lifetimes.

Sitting on the end of the bed, Gabe looked at Cole. “With the treatment and medication, she'll...be all right. Won't she?” A note of worry crept into the man's voice. Gabe cared about the girl as if she were his own little sister. As did Cole.

“Yeah. I think so.” Cole assured. “Her and Abel...they have soft hearts, but tough skins. Savannah has too much love for life to just give up. She'll fight.” he smiled and leaned down, kissing Gabe's mouth. “And she'll win.”

They left Savannah's room and walked down the short hall past Abel's bedroom, pausing at the open door. They both gazed at the bed. “I still think about that night.” Gabe murmured. “With Abel.”

“Me too.” Cole whispered. He looked at Gabe then touched his face. “I'm glad we were both there, that we were the first ones to help him experience real love.”

Gabe nodded slowly. “I think I...fell a little in love with him that night.” he admitted quietly, then slipped his arms around Cole's waist. “And with you.”

Smiling softly, Cole kissed him, allowing the kiss to linger for a long moment. “Me too.”

“I hope he comes home.”

“So do I.” Cole whispered, and kissed him again.

“Do you think Devlin is ready to fix the damage he caused?”

Cole sighed and stepped back as they moved on to the living room. “He wants to, I can see it in him. It's killing him what he did to Abel. But his own guilt may hold him back from facing Abel anytime soon.”

“And Abel?” Gabe asked slowly. “Do you think he would even be willing to talk to Devlin?”

Cole shrugged and sighed again. “I don't know. He's dealing with his own guilt.”

“It seems sadly ironic that they both feel at fault for the other's pain...when neither of them are to blame.”

Nodding slowly, Cole's face tightened. “All the blame lies with that motherfucker – Craig.”

***

A red silk robe wrapped around his slightly damp body, Abel left the bathroom and entered the bedroom, halting in the doorway. The lights were off and candles had been lit and placed around the room. Next to the bed, an engraved silver ice container held a bottle of champagne, and two crystal champagne glasses sat beside it, half full of sparkling pink champagne.

The bedroom was empty and Abel walked towards the bed. The candles scented the air with a pleasant cinnamon aroma. His hand dropped and his fingertips raked softly across the satin comforter as he glanced around, looking for Kaplan. When strong hands gripped his waist from behind, he jumped a little then smiled as Kaplan kissed the back of his neck. “You smell good.” he murmured, his arms slipping around him.

“What is...all this?” Abel asked quietly.

“Since this might well be our last night together.” His lips touched Abel's ear, kissing softly. “I wanted it to be special.”

Abel's pulse quickened. “Why...would it be our last night together?” he hesitated, not wanting to taint what was surely working into an amazing night, but forced out the words, “You paid in advance for a whole month.” The words left a bad taste on his tongue, but Kaplan didn't flinch.

“So I did.” he kissed lower on his neck. “But you were never meant for this, Abel. And I realize now...” he turned him around and cupped his face, stroking his cheeks with his thumbs. “I showed you disrespect in making the offer at all.” Kaplan kissed his lips tenderly, then whispered, “but I never meant any disrespect. What I said before was true...I never saw you as...a piece of ass to be bought and sold.” he sighed and touched his forehead to Abel's brow. “The truth is...you reminded me so much of someone I loved a long time ago, when I was about your age.”

Abel touched him tentatively, fingering his shirt. “The man that you...couldn't fight for?”

“Yes.” Kaplan nodded. His head raised and he kissed Abel's brow. “But there was a moment in our lives, when we were young, that we loved each other...in every sense of the word. I guess...” His lips trailed back down over Abel's cheek, kissing his warm skin. “I guess I wanted to feel it again...even if by proxy.”

Abel nodded and kissed his throat. “I understand.” he whispered.

“The thing is,” Kaplan murmured. “I started to like you...for you. And not just for who you reminded me of.” He drew back and looked at Abel. “I didn't mean for that to happen. Not like this. And I know, if I keep you around...I won't ever want to let you go.”

If he ended all this – would he take back a portion of the money? It made Abel sick to his stomach that the money was even an issue, but it was. He had agreed to all this initially because of Savannah, and the reality remained that he still needed the money.

“Keep the money.” Kaplan told him, as if detecting his thoughts. “I know you need it.”

Abel swallowed thickly, his eyes beginning to burn. Just a week ago he would've taken the money and ran, glad to be rid of the man. But now...he moved close to Kaplan's body and pressed his face to his throat. “What if...I don't want to go?” he choked softly. “What if I want to stay over here...and not go back?”

Kaplan wrapped his arms around him and Abel felt a staggered shudder hitch the man's chest. “If you decide that is really what you want,” he whispered, “then we'll talk about...everything...that would surround such a decision. But for tonight,” his arms released and he stepped back, fingering the belt of Abel's robe then slowly loosening it, letting the front fall open to expose the young man's nude body. He slipped his hands inside the robe and gently gripped Abel's waist, drawing him close again. “Tonight...let
’s just close the world outside and,” he kissed him with warm passion, “make love to each other.”

Chapter Thirteen

“Cries In The Night”

Make love to each other.

Abel had been resisting calling it that, though underneath it all, he'd known it was true. But he hadn't wanted it to be, hadn't wanted to feel anything for anyone again. Especially so soon. He wasn't 'in love' with Kaplan...just as he knew the man wasn't in love with him either. They both provided a much needed...presence...in the other's life. But if this continued...would it turn to the real thing? Abel couldn't think if that was something he truly wanted or not as his mind went hazy with the touch of Kaplan's hands, his lips, as the man laid him down on the bed.

Soft, romantic instrumental music played quietly and Abel wasn't sure if it had been playing all along or if Kaplan had just turned it on. But it was comforting, and soothed the ache in his heart.

Kaplan's warm mouth dropped kisses on his stomach and chest, moving up his throat. Abel moaned as the man's strong, naked body covered his and his lips found Abel's mouth, kissing him passionately. The weight of Kaplan's body felt good, even protective as he slowly sank down against Abel, his desire evident, even demanding as he rocked gently against Abel's own arousal.

Abel opened his legs wider and wrapped them securely around the man's waist, his hands caressing and rubbing over the flexing muscles of Kaplan's back, then lower to slide over his butt, gripping, massaging. The man groaned deep and pushed harder against Abel. He whimpered when Kaplan's rock hard cock raked firmly against his own, his tight, heavy balls massaging just below the base of Abel's shaft.

“Oh god.” Abel whimpered again. His fingers delved in between Kaplan's ass cheeks, stroking through his crease, one fingertip probing his tight hole.

Kaplan's breath caught and he tensed. Abel hesitated, started to withdraw when the man kissed him and groaned, “Don't stop...please.”

Relaxing, Abel rubbed his fingers down deep between his cheeks again.

“Hold that thought.” Kaplan murmured and kissed him again then left the bed. Abel watched him as he walked over to a vanity type dresser. He lifted a clear tube of gel out of a small warming station then returned to the bed. “Use this.” He placed the tube in Abel's hand. It warmed his palm.

They changed positions and Kaplan laid down on his stomach as Abel knelt behind him between his legs and squeezed out a few drops of the warm gel lubricant and coated his fingers. He added a couple extra drops directly in between the man's cheeks then rubbed it in. Kaplan groaned, then gripped the pillow when Abel slowly worked one slick, warm finger inside him.

“Fuck.” Kaplan shoved his face in the pillow, breath quickening as Abel inserted a second finger, then a third, stroking him deep. “Oh my god.”

Abel leaned down and kissed the small of his back then the swell of his cheeks as he continued to glide his fingers in and out of his tight velvet cave.

“Ah fuck, Abel.” Kaplan choked and moved against his fingers. “I want you, baby...I want you inside me so bad.” His breath puffed hard from his lips. “Please fuck me.”

Abel withdrew his fingers, hesitating briefly. The closest he'd come to fucking a man was when Gabe had rode him, and even then Gabe was doing most of the work. Still, he wanted this. His cock throbbed at the idea of squeezing into the man's tight body. Just having his fingers inside him, he could feel how soft and warm it was in there.

He took more of the warm lubricant in his palm and coated his cock, moaning at the warmth of the gel as it encased his shaft. When he pushed through Kaplan's tight ring and entered his hot inner caverns, he nearly passed out. A sharp gasp rushed out of him as Kaplan sucked in a sharp breath then groaned in pleasure. Abel's eyes stung with tears he couldn't account for as he pushed deeper and deeper inside the man.

“Yes, baby.” Kaplan moaned loud, ass shoving back against Abel. “Oh fuck...yes...keep going, baby...I want all of you.”

“Fuck.” Abel gasped hard when he sank in balls deep, and Kaplan's body jerked as his cock head raked over his sweet spot.

“Ah Fuck!” he choked, gouging the pillow with his nails. “Oh my god, Abel...fuck me, baby...I want you now...”

Abel was ready, his cock pulsing deep inside the man's tight ass. He grabbed Kaplan's hips and drew out a little then thrust in again, wrenching a cry of ecstasy from the man. His own breath panted and hitched as he began to fuck him harder, deeper. He stretched over his back, clutching the man's shoulders, breath puffing hard against the back of his neck as he rocked against him with force. His arms slipped under Kaplan, gripping his chest as the man pushed up on his elbows a little, fucking Abel back with urgency and a measure of desperation.

“Yes, Abel!” he cried. “Oh god, baby! You fuck so good! Oh my god...oh fuck, you feel so good, baby! Don't stop...fuck me harder...Uuhh!”

It didn't take long for Abel to feel the tightening in his balls, the orgasm coiling in his groin. “Oh fuck.” he shuddered, panting, groaning as their sweat slick bodies slipped easily against one another. “Oh god, I'm gonna cum...I can't hold it...”

“Do it.” Kaplan trembled, body arching, ass thrusting on Abel's cock. “Oh fuck, baby, I want to feel you cum inside me! Give it to me, please!”

A wrenching cry burst from Abel suddenly as he came hard, his fluids pumping out with force. He choked on another cry and fucked the man with increased urgency as he emptied himself inside him.

He was still shaking from the effects of the powerful orgasm when Kaplan drew him down underneath him, coated himself with the warm gel then pushed inside Abel, drawing a sharp gasp from the boy.

“You are so perfect.” Kaplan's breath shuddered against Abel's lips, then he kissed him. “Perfect in every way, baby.” Emotion strained the man's words. He shoved in deeper, stealing Abel's breath, then began to glide his cock in and out of his tight, sensitive body, still sexually heightened from his recent orgasm. Kaplan dropped his face into Abel's neck and groaned as he fucked him with urgency, needing the release. “Oh fuck, baby...you are heaven on earth.”

Abel clung to him, wrapped tightly around his slick, fevered body, tears running freely down his temples as the man made love to him with more than his body – but with heart and mind as well.

***

The darkness pulsated inside the bedroom, pressing at Devlin's body, his mind. His breath quickened, heart raced, as he felt suffocated. He turned his head and focused on the closed blinds, the street lights pushing at them from outside the window. Even that tiny bit of light helped him catch his breath, calm his pulse.

Savannah was going home tomorrow...and Abel still wasn't back. Once she was out of the hospital – would he ever see the boy again? He could go to the club...but what if Abel didn't want to see him? Wouldn't even let him apologize?

How the fuck do you even apologize for what you did? For the way you...talked to him?

Devlin's hands shoved into his hair and he gripped his head, chest catching with sobs. “What the fuck did I do? Oh god...” His fingers squeezed, pulling hard at the roots of his hair. His eyes clamped shut as he choked on a rush of sobs. “Fuck!” he screamed out his pain, tears flooding. “You fucker, Craig! I fucking hate you! You motherfucker! How could you...how...” He rolled onto his stomach and screamed into his pillow.

I'm glad you're dead! You sick motherfucker! I hope you burn in hell for all of fucking eternity!

Gasping hard, Devlin crawled off the bed and moved across the room on shaky legs, stumbling through the door and making his way to the living room. The street lights permeated the darkness more effectively and he could see their reflection off the glass of the picture frames situated across the mantel above the fireplace.

His face twisting in pain and rage, Devlin started grabbing the photos and smashing them against the wall, the floor, tugging others out of their frames and ripping them to shreds.

“I hate you!” he screamed. “You're not my brother! You're not! You fucker! How could you do that to him? To Brandon? To ME!!”

His strength abandoned him suddenly and he dropped to the floor amidst the shredded photos of a man he realized he had never known. A monster who had reached forth from the grave and ripped from him the one thing that meant the most.

He leaned over the hearth and buried his face in his arms, crying for the boy of his dreams who had tried to so hard to protect Devlin from the nightmare that had now become his life.