Shattered (5 page)

After towel drying my hair and walking into the dining area, I found that the food had arrived and Miranda was setting it on the table. I was helping her when Colby walked through the door.

"I picked up a couple bottles of red wine on my way home. Anyone care for a glass?" he asked, and Miranda and I both nodded our heads. He walked into the kitchen, kissing my cheek as he brushed past me, and returned with three wine glasses which he swiftly filled for each of us.

I didn't say much as we sat and ate. I listened to Colby and Miranda talk about the gallery she was remodeling, smiling and nodding approvingly every so often. I really didn't have much to say; I didn't feel the need to throw in frivolous conversation just for the sake of conversation. After another half hour of work talk, Miranda and I cleared the table and she left, but not before promising to do lunch sometime next week. I told her I was looking forward to it as I walked her out.

Closing the door behind Miranda, Colby informed me that he would be upstairs taking a shower, so I went to the kitchen and had another glass of wine.

When Colby finished, he found me curled up on the couch, watching TV. He came and laid his large body behind me, effectively wrapping me into his arms, and nuzzled his nose into my hair.

He let out an approving breath, "Ahhh. It's so nice to have you home, babe."

"It's good to be home," I softly replied.

We sat in silence for a few minutes when Colby asked, "What are you going to do with your parents' house?"

I was startled by his question. I hadn't put much thought into the house, and right now just didn't seem like the appropriate time to think about it. "I don't know. I haven't even thought about that. Why?"

"I'm just wondering. You know my company will handle the property for you, even all the way in Bellingham. We do have satellite offices."

I sat up and turned to look at him. "Colby, I haven't had time to think about much of anything. Give me a break, okay?"

"I know. I just don't want you overlooking major details."

"I'm not overlooking anything, okay?"

He nodded his head and kissed my forehead. We fell asleep, wrapped around one another on the couch.

I spent the next week running, recreationally picture taking, and writing. I felt that writing out my thoughts was more therapeutic than actually speaking them. Colby had been swamped with work and didn't spend much time at home. I hadn't seen much of him except when we were having breakfast in the morning, or snuggling late at night. He promised to take me out on a date since we hadn't had much couple time lately.

I pulled my long, crimson hair back into a tight pony tail and threw on some skinny jeans and a tight fitting t-shirt. Colby came walking in from work, setting his briefcase down by the front door. The smile he was wearing quickly disappeared from his face as he took in the sight of me.

"Why aren't you dressed?" he asked, confusion spread across his face.

"I am dressed," I said, looking down at my clothes.

"Where do you think we're going?" he asked condescendingly.

"I don't know, but I figured it could be something light and carefree."

He took a deep breath. "I have reservations at Montage. You know how hard it is get reservations there. I had to throw my name around just to get the table."

I scowled. He knew how much I hated the fact that he could throw his name around to magically make things happen, and worse, that he actually did it. "Colby!" I scolded.

"What?" he asked innocently. "I've wanted to try this place for a while, so please go upstairs and make yourself presentable."

"No," I said with affirmation in my voice. "Date nights always consist of some fancy restaurant of your choice. Can we please just do something light and carefree?"

He ran his fingers through his blond hair and then answered, "Yeah, I'll be right back."

A few minutes later, Colby strolled down the stairs in a dark wash pair of jeans and a loose fitting t-shirt. He'd offered to drive, but that would have meant traveling around in one of his stuffy, ice-white vehicles, so I grabbed my keys and walked out to my Jeep. Consternation filled his face, but he didn't argue and simply hopped in.

I pulled up in front of
The Old Lady,
a restaurant known for its fresh catch. There was no menu because it was whatever was caught earlier in the day. After hearing all of the glowing reviews, I had to try it.

Walking in, the atmosphere was exactly what I needed. There was a local band playing on the stage, pictures of local fishermen and their record setting catches tacked onto the wood planked walls, and servers dressed casually, in bright, effervescent colors to match the bright and vivacious feel of the restaurant. A smile quickly spread across my face, but Colby held a look of disapproval.

"You wanted to come here?" he asked as we slid into our seats.

"Yeah! This place seems fun. I've only heard good things about it."

"From who?" he asked firmly.

"Miranda… and all of the review blogs I've seen." I stopped and ordered a couple of beers. "Besides, it's nice to try something new every now and then."

"I guess," he said with a slight scowl on his face.  

 I tried not to let his cavalier attitude bother me. We finished our wood grilled salmon and steamed vegetables, and although Colby loosened up, he never did get comfortable at
The Old Lady.
I wasn't going to allow his mood to sour mine, so as we paid our bill, I signaled for him to lean down and I planted a soft kiss on his lips. He smiled his first real smile of the night, and we made our way back out to the Jeep.

When we got home, I thanked Colby for a wonderful night out. He politely nodded his head and removed his clothes, so I undressed and slipped into bed, waiting for him to join me. When he did, he gathered me in his arms and snuggled up next to me.

"I love you, Dallis," he said, running his chin over the top of my head.

"I love you too, Colby."

He moved my head up to face him and began kissing me passionately. I was reluctant at first, but eventually gave in to him, returning his kiss with as much passion as he was giving me. He moved his large, muscular body over me and brushed my hair away, showering my upper body with tantalizingly stimulating kisses.

At first I enjoyed it, but as Colby was making his way down my body, the feeling quickly turned to something less enjoyable.

"Colby," my breath was faint and feeble, "Colby, st.. stop." I nudged him away and he stopped, glancing down at me with confusion on his face. "Just stop, please."

"What's the matter?" he asked in a breathy, rushed tone.

"I'm just not ready for this," I said meekly. "I'm sorry."

Disappointment flooded his face, but he didn't say anything further. Instead he moved back to his side of the bed and thrust his body back down, letting out a loud sigh while he did so. We fell asleep without speaking another word.

The next week had been much of the same. I still spent my time taking pointless pictures, running, and writing. Colby stayed busy with work, and much like the week before, the only times we saw one another was when we woke in the morning and went to bed at night.

We still hadn't been intimate. Thinking back on the last time that we had, I'd remembered that it was the morning before my mom had delivered the horrendous news about her condition. While I cherished the tender moments, I wasn't ready to go back into intimacy just yet and it was starting to wear on our relationship.

Colby came home full of excitement, something that I hadn't seen much of lately. He sat his briefcase down by the door and walked into the living room with an exorbitant grin on his face, holding a bottle of champagne.

"Guess what, babe?" he asked, sitting next to me on the couch.

"What?" I asked, curious to know what had gotten him so excited.

"Greg, from the office, just offered me the top management spot since Keller took another position elsewhere, and I took it!"

"That's awesome!" I watched him pop the bottle of champagne open and make his way into the kitchen, returning with two champagne flutes. He filled our glasses and handed me one.

"Yes, it's all kinds of awesome. The best part is, we can move out of here and into a real home," he said, smiling as he took a long sip of his champagne.

I frowned as I thought about what he was saying. The townhouse had been my first place after moving to Seattle. It held a special place in my heart, and truthfully, I loved living in it. "What do you mean, Colby?"

"I just mean this place is small, and we deserve something much bigger. We can stay in this neighborhood, but I want something that will scream the money that we have." He took another sip of his champagne, giving no effort to contain the smile etching itself into his face.

I sat my glass down on the coffee table. "I love this place. I don't need to
scream
the money we have. That’s idiotic, Colby."

"Babe, I never planned on being in this place this long, and I damn sure won't be in it after we're married. I want to start our lives in a big home. We might as well make the move now, especially now that I can throw more money at it." He chuckled, but I couldn't find any humor in what he was saying.

"Throw more money at it? Seriously?"

Colby brushed it off as just a figure of speech, but I knew it was more.

"There are so many great homes we can buy in this neighborhood. Why not start looking? I don't want to be a damn renter forever, Dallis." My gaze burned through him as he spoke. "I hate being the only guy not talking about home ownership, and honestly, it makes me feel…" he paused, trying to find the right words, "l--less than."

I narrowed my eyes at him, but he didn't flinch. He didn't find anything wrong with what he was saying. "There is nothing wrong with renting, Colby. You manage rental properties for a living--luxury properties might I add," I snapped, feeling belittled and, as he had said,
less
than.

"There
is
something wrong with it when you're me… when you're a Shaw. And when I make you a Shaw, I will not be a damn renter."

Utter disgust shelled my face. Colby could be incredibly condescending and, at times, downright snooty, but I was caught off guard by his choice of words. "I love this place, Colby, and I'm not about to go throw money around just because you can. Learn to save money instead of frivolously spending it." I stood from the couch, pulling my shirt down over my sweat pants. "And if you need to run off and buy a new place, please don’t let me hold you back. I wouldn't want you to continue to feel
less than.
"

"I'm sorry, Dallis. I didn't mean it like that."

"You meant it just the way it came out," I said, running my fingers through my hair. My chest tirelessly moved up and down, causing me to expend extra energy to regain my composure. Colby had a way of setting me off, and right now he was pushing every button he could find.

Chapter 4

Colby worked hard to right his wrongs over the next few days. There was no further talk of purchasing homes, or anything else that had led to our spat. He worked in true, Colby fashion to make things right, which basically meant that he tried to act like he'd done nothing wrong, while trying to fix things. It never made sense to me to work so hard to repair something that supposedly wasn't broken. His techniques always puzzled me, but he'd apologized, so I let it go. I still wasn't back to my regular self, but Miranda had promised to take me out and bring some sunshine back into my life and, after everything that had happened lately, I could use some.

Unfortunately, as is customary for Seattle weather, the same day Miranda and I chose to meet up for lunch, a constant flow of rain filled the streets. I pulled up in front of a sandwich deli and found Miranda out on the covered patio, playing on her iPad. I snuck up behind her and grabbed her shoulder, making her jump. She turned and smiled, and I gave her a quick hug as I made my way to the other side of the table to take my seat. The rain had downgraded to a mild mist, so I pulled the hood of my State hoodie from my head and ran my fingers through my tangled hair.