Shattered (7 page)

Miranda noticed my look. "I wanted to give you something to look forward to. I hope you like it."

"Like it? I love it," I exclaimed, and placed my bags down on what looked like a brand new, chestnut office desk.

"Good!" she replied, dropping a box down on the desk next to my bags. "Here are the business cards you ordered. I held on to them until you came back to work."

"Thanks, Miranda. I really appreciate all of this." She winked at me and walked out the door to greet an older couple who had just entered the office space.

I sat at my desk and began unpacking some of the things that I had brought in from home. I listened to numerous voice messages and replied to what felt like hundreds of emails. I had been away from work for far too long and the extent of my absence was kicking me in the ass.

A young couple who had contacted me about a week prior was the first appointment I set up. They were engaged and wanted a session done at Gasworks Park. I had only shot there once for an architectural shoot for a major Seattle company, so I was looking forward to finding the romantic enclaves in such an industrial setting.

 Miranda spent most of the day touring different locations that she had been hired to decorate.

I immersed myself in my work and completely lost track of time. When I finally looked at the clock, it was close to 6:30 p.m. I reached into my bag for my cell phone and found that I had missed three phone calls, all from Colby. I called him back quickly to let him know that I was on my way home, shut down my computer, gathered my things, and made my way out to my Jeep.

When I arrived home, I found Colby on the couch, watching a Mariners baseball game. His look of indifference had me stumped. He sat with a glass of wine in his hands, and when he noticed me, he set his glass down and walked over, picking me up and kissing me deeply. His kiss surprised me and when he finally pulled away I asked, "What was that for?"

He gently lowered me to the ground and shook his head, softly saying, "Just because."

I didn't question him any further and walked into the kitchen. Grabbing a beer out of the fridge, I flicked off the top and took a long, sweet swig. Colby stood watching, with an impassive look on his face.

"What's for dinner?" I asked.

"I ordered from The Salad Cart. I wasn't sure what time you'd be home so I got something that wouldn't be old and ruined by the time you got here."

I nodded and took a seat at the table. Colby grabbed the two salad bowls from the refrigerator, and took a seat. We ate in a peaceful silence for a few minutes before he finally broke the calm.

"What do you say we go for a bike ride on Saturday morning? I checked the forecast and the rain is supposed to let up."  

"No can do. I have my first session Saturday morning at Gasworks Park."

Colby sifted through his salad, obviously irritated. "Did it have to be your first weekend back to work? Did you remember that we have plans Saturday evening?"

"Yes and Yes," I replied.

"I'm just making sure, that's all. Is it going to go back to being this way? Me not seeing you on the weekends?" He filled his mouth with a forkful of chicken spinach salad.

I sat my fork down and relaxed back into my chair. I really wasn't in the mood to have this conversation, and I certainly wasn't in the mood to deal with Colby's needy, condescending attitude. "Colby, you knew I'd eventually go back to work. I'm sorry if I have to work on the weekend, but that's when my clients have time to have their pictures taken."

"I know that. I just didn't think you'd dive in head first like you've done," he said bitterly.

"Well excuse the hell out of me for wanting to get back to a sense of normalcy, and also make a living while doing it."

He turned his head to stare deep into my eyes. His eyes sank into mine, aggravation attached to them. "You need to ease your way back into normalcy. And anyway, you don't
need
to work to bring in income. I provide more than enough." His voice was clipped, dry, and the sound of it made me want to scream, but I kept my composure and remained calm, even though the laborious heaves of my chest displayed anything but.

"Colby Shaw, you know damn well that I will never live off of you so please stop insinuating it." Speaking through clinched teeth was the best way to keep myself from saying some awful things that I really didn't need to say.

He looked over at me and grinned, shaking his head. I had nothing else to say and apparently he didn't either, so we finished our salads in awkward silence. I finished off my beer and sat for a while, then when I was satisfied, I told Colby that I would be upstairs if he needed me. I walked out of the kitchen, irritation racing through my body.

Chapter 5

Saturday morning approached and while Colby and I hadn't spoken about my work schedule again, the elephant in the room was looming large. He kissed me good morning when we woke in one another's arms, and ran his fingers through my unruly, red hair. I stared into his eyes, content at the moment, wishing that we could always be like this, without all of the arrogance and condescending attitudes.

Colby had always had mannerisms that plucked my nerves, and while I often pointed them out, I moved on, but lately I was finding myself having a hard time overlooking them. It seemed the older he got, the more he became like his father. I adored Mr. Shaw, but the fact that he was a man who had an exponential level of clout gave him the impression that he was above certain things and people. I was shocked when I'd found out years ago that my parents had made friends with the Shaws because they just didn't seem like the type of people that were in their social circle. Colby was growing more and more like his dad, and I wasn't liking it. I loved his mom, but I couldn't see myself as the trophy wife that she was, and I damn sure wasn't going to submit to the whims of my husband.

I shifted in the bed to directly face him and ran my fingers along the light stubble that was growing on his face. He gently took my hand and kissed it, linking it with his own. I smiled at his affections. Honestly, it was times like these that were the best moments I'd spent with Colby throughout our relationship.

"Let's get some breakfast," he whispered. I nodded and he kissed my forehead, then made his way out of bed.

  I took a quick shower and threw on my favorite pair of loose fitting blue jeans and a Hollister t-shirt. A quick slip of my Tom's and I rushed downstairs to meet Colby for breakfast.

He made oatmeal and warmed some cinnamon buns that we'd stocked up on. I grabbed two glasses from the cupboards and poured us each a glass of milk, then met him at the table. He looked up from his food, and after taking a gulp of his milk, asked, "What time will you be done today?"

I finished chewing the food in my mouth. "Not really sure. It all depends on the couple and the shoot. I'm slated for two hours though." He nodded his head but didn't say anything. "As soon as I'm done, I'll come straight home. We are still going out with Greg tonight, right?"

He nodded his head again. Something was definitely up his ass, but I didn't want to open that can of worms and have it ruin my day, so I didn't ask. We finished our breakfast making small talk, then I kissed him lightly and ran out to my Jeep

Gasworks Park sits on the shores of Lake Union. As I drove up, I noticed the skies had opened, the constant trickle of rain had subsided, and plenty of kites were flying all around me. A rejuvenated aura passed through me, and I couldn't help but smile as I unloaded all of my gear. I walked up the grassy hills where I met Bryant and Shana, my subjects for the day. They were a very striking couple, who looked much more mature than the twenty-five years that they were. Bryant's unruly dark hair complimented Shana's perfectly polished, blonde mane. Neither of them were very tall, maybe 5'7 at best, and they exuded love. Just watching them interact set the tone for the shoot.

I introduced myself and went over my ideas for their photo shoot, listening to their wants and suggestions, then began taking shots. Before I knew it, the two hours were nearing an end, and none of us wanted to stop. They were a very eclectic couple, not camera shy in the least bit, and it fed my artistic spirit, making me want to try every angle and backdrop that I could find. When we wrapped, I had them take a look at a few of the pictures that I'd captured. I'd taken some of them sitting on the grassy hills, peering adoringly into each other's eyes, in front of the old ruins of the gas plant with their backs to me, looking at one another, and was even lucky enough to get them by the shoreline, kissing, just as a sea plane was taking off. They thanked me for the shoot, and as they left, I plopped down on the hill and thought about my own situation.

Bryant and Shana were about my age. They were more than willing to commit themselves to one another for the rest of their lives, yet here I was, with a man who wanted more than anything to marry me, and I couldn't bring myself to even contemplate the thought. I knew that I wasn't afraid of marriage or commitment--hell, I'd had the world's best role models--but I wasn't sure if I was afraid of doing it at such a young age, or if I was afraid of the person whom I would be doing it with.

Kids squealing as they flew their kites woke me from my reverie. Looking down at my watch, I noticed I'd spent half an hour just sitting and thinking. I gathered up my gear and made my way back to my Jeep. My mind was still on overdrive since I had come to no definitive answers, and I didn't think that sitting and thinking any longer would rectify that. I drove home with crisp air blowing through my hair, listening to the mindless chatter filtering through my radio.

When I got home, Colby was gone. He'd left a note saying that he'd gone on a bike ride and would be back shortly. I took the time to grab some lunch, and a nap. When I woke, he was home and in the kitchen, looking freshly showered. I walked over to him and put my arms around his waist from behind, nuzzling my head into his hefty back. He stopped what he was doing and turned around, kissing me lightly. "How was the shoot?"

"Fun," I replied. "It was really fun."

He nodded his head and walked into the living room, crashing down on the couch and running his fingers through his still damp hair. I stared at him. While he looked handsome as always, there was definitely something weighing on Colby. I sat down next to him and tapped his thigh, hoping to break him from his funk.

"What's going on with you?" I asked, hoping he would talk.

"Nothing. Just another lazy day," he responded, tossing his head back against the couch.

"How was your ride?" I asked, in hopes that a source of enjoyment would spark his will to speak.

"It was okay. I rode with Greg. It was nice to get some guy time."

I smiled and nodded my head, glad to hear that he had at least enjoyed his time out.

"Greg asked Kelsey to marry him, and she said yes." he uttered dryly, sitting up to look into my eyes.

"Congratulations to them," I answered back, sure of where he was going with this.

"I've just been thinking, Dallis. Everyone around me is getting married and starting their lives, but I'm not. Hell, Kelsey is nineteen years old, and she's ready to commit to Greg."

"Kelsey is only nineteen? But Greg is twenty-nine…" I said, surprised by their large age gap.

"What does that matter?" Colby asked exhaustedly.

"It doesn't matter, I guess. I was just shocked by it, that's all." I stood to stretch. This topic of conversation was beginning to grate my ears and I didn't want to hear anything else about it. Colby looked up at me with an impassive look on his face, but he didn't say anything. I leaned down and kissed his cheek, then walked upstairs to our bedroom and flung my emotionally exhausted body down on the bed.