She Likes It Irish (26 page)

“Yes.”

Kristin stood. “Good luck in your therapy. I hope it helps you find happiness.”

Zoe stood, too, giving her a weak smile. “Do you really mean that?”

“Yes.”

As if all this honesty was just too overwhelming for Zoe, her tears burst forth in a torrent, and she rushed toward Kristin, wrapping her arms around her just as the door opened. Kristin’s arms raised to Zoe, not for a hug, but in a purely defensive move. She pushed against her.

“Hey, darlin’, guess wh—” Sean took two steps into the room and stopped, all color draining from his face when he saw Zoe hugging Kristin.

Kristin moved away from Zoe, who turned toward Sean.

“Hi, Sean,” Zoe said. There was a roughness in her voice that told Kristin she still had issues with Sean, no matter what she’d said about what she’d done.

Sean’s face went from shocked white to angry red in a matter of seconds, and his eyes flashed with rage as he slammed the door and stepped toward his nemesis. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

Her eyes narrowed. “I came to see Kristin.”

Sean’s stare zipped to Kristin, and she could see the hurt and confusion in his eyes, knew in that instant that he thought the worst of her: that she and Zoe were at it again.

“I came to apologize to her, and to you, for what I did. For—”

“For damn near ruining our lives. We can’t forgive you for that.”

Zoe lifted her chin defiantly. “Kristin forgave me.”

He stared at Kristin as if she’d stabbed a sword in his back.

“You should leave,” Kristin said to Zoe, walking to the door and opening it.

Zoe brushed past Sean on the way to the door. At the door, she stopped and turned back to him. “I know you can’t forgive me, but I truly am sorry.”

“You’re only sorry your plan didn’t succeed.”

The corners of her mouth lifted into a restrained smile as she held Sean’s hate-filled gaze. Then she turned back to Kristin, her smile genuine. “It was really good seeing you. Thanks again.” She stepped outside into the heat of the day, leaving Kristin and Sean to deal with the deep freeze she had created.

Kristin had barely closed the door when Sean exploded.

“I can’t believe you let her in. What were you thinking?”

Kristin knew how mad he was by how thick his accent had become. “I didn’t realize it was her. I opened the door because I thought you had forgotten your keys again.” She sighed deeply before continuing, “She apologized for what she did and asked for forgiveness. I gave it to her.”

“You gave it to her,” he mumbled and shook his head. “Gave her what? Forgiveness…or something else?”

“What are you insinuating?”

“I come home to find you in the arms of your ex-lover. What do you think I’m insinuating?”

Kristin’s eyes and mouth pinched into tight lines of anger and pain. “Go to hell!” She stormed out of the living room and into the bedroom, slamming the door with a force that shook the walls.

Seconds later, the door flung open. Kristin lay on the bed, face down and crying. She could feel him standing beside her quietly, as if he were swallowing every fighting word he’d come in to hammer her with. She felt his hand settle on her back, gently rub it.

“Darlin’, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said.”

She rolled away from his touch and faced him, tears filling her eyes. “You’re never going to trust me, are you?”

Pain damped the flashing anger in his eyes and he looked beat down, like his spine had no strength, no energy to stand much less fight. “It’s not that. Not really.”

The urge to pull his body down to hers and mold herself around him was strong. But she resisted. He looked like he was on the verge of sharing some real truths with her, and she didn’t want to stop that. Plus, she was pissed at his totally unfounded accusation and lack of trust.

“Then what is it?”

He stood beside her, shaking his head.

She pulled him onto the bed. “Talk to me, Sean.”

He lay next to her and his eyes found her face. “I loved you from the first night I saw you at my door, even though you were nearly naked, wearing my next door neighbor’s T-shirt—inside out, by the way—and asking for a cup of condoms so you could have marathon sex. I loved you even when I saw you having sex with Zoe. I loved you when you dumped my arse and made me fight to get you back.”

“Is there a ’but’ in there?”

He licked his lips. “You invited Zoe in to our Honahlee. You forgave her for almost destroying us. It made me wonder whether there’s a part of you that wants to be with her…wants to break up with me. And that scares the shit out of me.”

Tears caught in Kristin’s throat at the deep emotion flowing from the man she loved. He was hurting, and so she hurt too. She scooted closer to him, curled into his chest, wrapped an arm and a leg around his body, and hugged him tight.

“I love you,” she whispered against his mouth. “Only you. But as much as I love you, I won’t put up with jealousy and mistrust, especially since I’ve done nothing to deserve it. If anyone breaks our relationship, it’ll be you, because of your lack of trust.”

He hugged her so tight it took her breath away. His eyes found hers. “I do trust you.”

She smiled. “And I trust you.”

He swallowed. Hard. Closed his eyes. “I need to tell you something.”

The look on his face scared her—serious, remorseful, the need to confess something hurtful.

“When I thought we were over, I…”

…slept with another woman
. He didn’t say it, but she knew it was coming. Felt it burn inside her, eating up all the air in her lungs. She didn’t want to hear it. Didn’t want to hear how he’d shared his body with another woman. She put her fingers over his mouth.

“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t want to know. You’re with me now. You love me. That’s all that matters.” The words tumbled out of her mouth like boulders to block his need to confess.

“I didn’t do it, Kristin,” he mumbled between her fingers. She let him move aside her hand and finish his statement. “I couldn’t.”

Kristin closed her eyes in relief. She’d meant what she said about it not mattering, but knowing that he hadn’t gone through with it was everything to her.

“Forgive me?” he asked.

Seems like it was her day to forgive. “Forgiven.” She kissed him softly but deeply.

“I’m a lucky man that you love me.”

She smiled. “Yes, yes you are. Why don’t you show me just how very lucky you feel?”

His hands tugged the strings of her apron.

****

Sushi from their favorite restaurant and Japanese beer filled the bag in the backseat, Kristin was flying high as she drove her way home to Sean. Their time had worn down to a few short days, and she was going to make the most of each one, filling every minute with pleasure.

She smiled as she thought of the night she’d planned. They’d share a sensuous meal then make love in the shower. Then they’d make love all night in their bed, trying out some new edible oils she’d picked up as well as new positions from the Kama Sutra book she’d bought.

Kristin was still smiling as she pulled into their parking lot. She might need him to take her up against the living room wall. Just to take the edge off.

Sean stood near his motorcycle, talking to a stranger.

She parked and got out of the car, grabbing the bags.

He took the bags from her hands when she approached and gave her a quick kiss on the mouth. “Kristin, this is Tyrone. Tyrone, Kristin.”

Kristin smiled and was shaking the man’s hand when it hit her. She spun back to face Sean. “You’re selling your bike.”

He stared into her eyes and nodded.

Sean’s fellowship had ended the day before. His visa would expire in a few more days and he would be leaving America, leaving her, and going back to Ireland. Seeing him sell his bike was the first tangible sign that the end was upon them. Feeling tears burning her eyes, she looked away and blinked, fighting to hold on to her emotions.

She cleared her throat and managed a smile at Tyrone. “It’s a great bike. You’ll love it. We’ve had a lot of fun with it.”

Sean set the bags down at his feet and slipped his arm around her shoulders, holding her tight against his side.

“I’ve wanted a bike like this for a long time,” Tyrone said. “I’m glad to get it at such a great price. Speaking of that…” He fished his wallet from his pocket and counted out hundred dollar bills into Sean’s hand. Sean handed over the key, and they shook. The deal was done.

“Here’s the helmet.” Sean picked it up from the pavement near his feet and started to hand it over when Kristin put her hands on it, stopping him.

“Tyrone, sorry, but do you mind if I keep this?”

He looked from her to Sean and back. “Uh, sure. No problem. I have one at home I’ll be using anyway.”

She smiled her thanks and tucked the helmet against her chest, holding it to her heart like a precious keepsake.

Sean and Kristin stepped aside, giving the new owner room to approach the bike, climb on, and start her up. They watched, arms around each other, as their bike rolled away out of the lot and down the street.

Tears rimmed her eyes, not for the bike, but for what it represented. Soon she would have to watch Sean roll out of her life just like the bike.

Sean wiped away the moisture caught in her lashes with his thumb. “Why do you want this nasty old helmet?” His voice was soft, tender.

“It’s yours,” she said, her words filled with emotion. “I’ll need it when you’re gone.”

“Are you going to paint my face on it and sleep with it?” he teased gently. “Kiss it goodnight? Shower with it?”

“Don’t tease me, Sean. It’s all I’ll have of you when you’re gone.”

“Ahhh, darlin’, no. That’s not true. I’ll be beside you always, with my heart and my love.”

“I can’t see those things, smell them, hold them in my hands.” She held up the helmet and looked at it. “You wore this every day, your fingerprints are all over it, your smell is part of it. I look at it and can see you with it on, smiling. I remember how your hair would stick up when you took it off and how I’d try to smooth down the kinks and you’d laugh.”

“If I’d known it meant that much to you, I never would have tried to sell it.”

“Well, if you’re tempted to sell anything else, give me first right of refusal.”

“You got it.” He kissed her and picked up the bags. “Let’s go in, darlin’.” With his arm around her shoulders, he led her to their apartment. “I’m starving.”

“There’s sushi and beer in one of those bags.”

“Uh, not for food.”

She smiled and curved herself tighter against him. “Oh. Then you’ll want what’s in the other bag.”

****

Sean had waited as long as he could to join the security line so he could have as much time with Kristin as possible. But the time had come. He had to go now or risk missing his flight. Still they held each other tightly, both finding it almost impossible to separate.

“The offer’s always open to come live with me and finish school in Dublin.”

She was too grief-stricken to cry or to speak in more than a whisper. “I’m so close…I need to finish here. After that, if you still want me—” Pain choked off the rest of her sentence.

“I’ll always want you.”

She knew she’d love him for the rest of her life whether he did or not.

“When you have your degree in hand, I’ll come back and ask you again.”

She nodded, and they kissed, a desperate, crushing kiss meant to make a lasting physical and emotional impression on both of them. They shared that last moment of passion before he pulled away and picked up his backpack.

With a last longing look at her, he turned and walked toward the line that would take him to his plane.

“Sean!” she called out.

He stopped and turned around as she rushed into his arms.

“We’ll be together again.” He cupped her face between his hands, stared into her eyes. “I promise. I promise.”

She nodded.

He kissed her and then left her arms again. This time she let him go, watching every step he took as he snaked his way through the line that took him farther away from her. He paused at the entrance to the secure area, looking for her. Smiled. Touched his fingers to his mouth and sent her his last kiss.

She forced herself to smile, not wanting his last image of her to be of a sad, tear-streaked face. She raised her hand in goodbye as he stepped into the secure area and headed down the terracotta-brick walkway to his plane.

She stared after him until she could no longer see his blond head towering above most of the people heading the same way. Only then did she force herself to turn around and take that first stumbling step into her new life…a life without him.

She made it to her car before collapsing in on herself. How would she ever get by without him? Through her pain, she heard a soft ding sound. A text. She considered ignoring it, but the thought that it could be from him pushed her to dig into her purse and pull out her phone.

It was from him. “If you wait for me, Kristin, I’ll come back for you. I promise.” Also included in his text was a link to a video. She followed it and saw him with his guitar in hand, sitting on their bed…in his wonderful, stupid boxers.

“Darlin’, this is my promise to you,” he said and began to play
The Promise
. In the words of the song, she heard his love, his sorrow, and his promise that he would come back for her if she’d wait for him.

When the song ended, her fingers flew over the buttons. “I’ll wait for you, Sean. I promise.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Kristin’s rational mind knew that long distance relationships rarely worked out, but that didn’t stop her emotional heart from holding out hope that hers would be the one that did.

When the frequency of Sean’s calls, texts, and emails slowed, her mind argued that the chance had faded for them. Her heart countered that it was simply his job was keeping him busy. But when her graduation day arrived that blue-skied, sunshiny December morning with no word from him, her mind and heart formed the same conclusion: he’d moved on.

She went to her department’s graduation ceremony at her mother’s insistence, hiding behind the neon sunglasses her class had decided to wear, the fog of grief making her distracted and disjointed. The guy behind her in the lineup had to elbow her to walk across the stage to get her diploma when her name was called and then, later, to progress down the aisle at the ceremony’s close.