Shelter You (11 page)

Janet looks as if though she’s been slapped in the face. “Well, I…”

“Look Janet, you seem like a really nice person but given the circumstances, I’m just not so sure that this is the best place for a young mother and her child.”

“Logan!” I demand in a warning tone. It doesn’t phase him, he practically ignores me.

“I just think that maybe
Kelly
is a little in over her head here, Janet. She needs more of a move in ready kind of place, a place with more room for Lily. You can understand that, right?”

“Well, she’s only been here a few weeks. She signed a lease for a year.”

“And I’m sure that given what transpired here last week you’d be more than willing to let a young mother out of that lease. I mean, would you have been comfortable coming back to live in an apartment that was just burglarized?”

“Janet,” I say, pushing myself in front of Logan and into the conversation, “Logan is just being really overprotective…”

“No
Kelly
, I’m just being honest.” He comes around from behind me and moves to stand next to me. “What do you say, Janet?”

She looks about ready to throw something; she avoids Logan’s cop stare and turns to face me. “It’s clear that Officer Tate is not comfortable with you staying here sweetie. Perhaps it’s for the best for me to let you out of your lease. If you leave me a forwarding address I’ll cut you a check for your security deposit.”

“That’s very kind of you, Janet. We’ll make sure to have everything moved out by Sunday.”

And just like that I go from independence to homelessness.

I’m seething by the time we make it back to the car.

“Well, that went well.”

“Are you fricking
crazy?
Are you serious right now?”

“What? You’re getting your security deposit back,
Kelly
. You should be happy.”

“Stop calling me that.” I growl.

“Why? That’s the name you wanted to be known by, Kelly.”

“You’re a real jerk you know that? I’m homeless now, Logan. Are you happy? You must be so proud of yourself making me lose the only decent apartment that I could afford.”

“Oh, Mia.”

I can hear the remorse in his voice now and some of the anger begins to dissipate but it’s quickly replaced with fear. What the hell just happened? I can’t stop the onslaught of tears that start to fall. “What am I supposed to do, Logan?”

“Hey. Don’t cry, Mia. Do you really think I would do that to you and not have a plan?”

“A plan? What plan?”

“I want you and Lily to stay with me.”

“That’s your plan? You want me and Lily to stay with you? For how long Logan, huh? Until you get sick of us, until you meet some girl you want to bring back to your house but wait… you can’t, because you have house guests.”

He smiles brightly at me, genuinely and I have to fight the urge to melt into him. “I want you there, I like having you there.”

“Okay, but there’s going to come a time when you want your life back, so what’s going to happen to me and Lily when that time comes?”

“It’s not going to happen, Mia. You need to relax. Just trust me.”

And there it is again, the word that I’ve come to despise with everything that I am: Trust. I want to trust him, and up until a few minutes ago I think I was starting to trust him but now this has thrown me for a loop. Why would I trust him when he’s just made me lose my apartment, when at any moment he can decide that having a young mother and baby in his home isn’t conducive to the type of lifestyle he wants to have? The only thing that I’m sure of is that he really hasn’t left me much of a choice. I have no other alternative but to take him up on his offer to stay with him.

“Fine. You win, but this is only temporary. It’s only until I can find a new place that I can afford.”

“Deal.” He agrees with a mischievous grin.

I huff and put my seatbelt on. “Are you taking me back to work?”

“Sure.” He turns the ignition and pulls out onto the road. “So, about once a month my family gets together for dinner.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah and…well it’s this Sunday at my parents’ house.”

“Oh okay, well Lily and I can fend for ourselves.”

“I know, but actually I was hoping that you’d come with me.”

“You want us to come with you? I’m not sure that’s such a great idea.”

“Why not?”

“Well for starters what would they think of me? The girl and her infant who are living with their son.”

“They’re not going to judge you, Mia. They’re not like that. I know they’re going to love you. Just think about it,” he says, pulling into the parking lot of the daycare center. He turns to face me and gives me a shy smile. “I work late tonight so don’t wait up for me, alright?”

“Okay. Be careful,” I reply, extricating myself from the car quickly, not looking back as I enter the building. I can’t help but to notice the frothy glare I get from Sarah as I walk past her and head back toward my classroom. Maybe he sees them as only friends but Sarah sees Logan as way more than that and now she sees me as competition. I just hope she doesn’t fire me because of it.

It’s almost one in the morning by the time Logan crawls into my bed. I have a hard time coming to terms with the sense of peace that comes from knowing that he’s back home, safe and with me because I know that I shouldn’t care. That his comings and goings shouldn’t affect me, that his safety shouldn’t worry me, but it does. We lie silent for a moment, facing each other, taking one another in.

“Did I wake you?”

I shake my head. “No I was awake.”

“Were you waiting for me, Mia?”

“What? No,” I reply so weakly that even I don’t believe it.

“Really? Because I couldn’t wait to see you.”

“I don’t know why you say things like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” He looks into my eyes, silently encouraging me to speak to him. “I don’t know, nice things.”

“You should have someone to say nice things to you. You deserve it.”

“And you want to be the one to say those things?”

“Why else do you think I just got you evicted from your apartment?”

“Logan…” I wail, smacking him on the arm.

“What? I like having you here and I’m serious that that place still needed work. I would have never been comfortable leaving you there.”

“But why? What is it that you want?”

“I guess I just want to shelter you. And not just in the literal sense but I have this crazy need to protect you, to make sure that you and Lily are okay. I know I haven’t gone about it the best way, but I want you here.”

“I want to be here too.” I admit quietly.

He strokes my cheek gently, a gesture from him that I’m starting to love. Instinctively, I lean into him, wanting to get as close to him as I can. He places his free arm over my waist, his hand lands just above my butt—pushing me even closer to him.

“Does you wanting to be here mean that you want to be with me too?” His hands move upwards slowly, starting to rub my back, forcing my muscles to relax.

“Is that what you want?” I query, slipping further into a fog,

“I don’t know how to do this, Mia. I usually just go for what I want, say what I mean, I don’t hold my tongue at all, but with you I sense that I need to tread carefully, like you need to time to process what’s really happening here.”

“What if you decide it’s all too much? I’m scared.”

“I know baby, but you’re here, you’re with me and you and Lily are safe. And when it comes down to it, I want you, I want you both, I want you to be mine. Do you want that too?”

“I… Yes. Yes, I think so.”

“Then we can start off slow. We can take our time, keep on getting to know each other and see how it goes.”

“I don’t want to bring you down or hold you back. Why would you want a ready made family when you can start from scratch and have your own?”

“Because that’s not what I want. You want an explanation that I can’t really give you. I can’t tell you why people want what they want, they just do. It just is and I need you to believe in it, trust it.”

“Trust doesn’t come easily to me.”

“I know that, but do you think you can try? Do you want to try with me?”

I know what I want my answer to be. I want Logan and even though the thought of being with him, of trusting him is terrifying, I know I owe it to myself to try. “Yes, I want to try,” I whisper.

His grip tightens on me and I tilt my head back as his descends and our lips meet. Warmth spreads throughout my body making me feel alive, the way only Logan can make me feel. We break apart a few minutes later, both smiling, both happy for what’s just transpired.

“Can I sleep under the cover now?”

I try but fail to stop the giggle erupts in me. “Yes, you can sleep under the covers.”

“I’m glad you get a kick out of this.” He murmurs, situating himself under the blankets and pulling me into his arms.

“Goodnight Logan.”

“Goodnight Chief.”

I’ve had the urge to throw up since I woke up this morning. My nerves are shot and I’m trying not to panic. Logan, Lily, and I are on our way to his parents’ house for dinner. I’m unaware as to what I should expect tonight and I’m pretty confident that his family is going to hate me. Who in their right mind would want a girl like me for their son, and more importantly who in their right mind would bring a girl like me home to meet the parents?

I tried to convince him to go without me, tried to explain to him that it was just too much too soon but he insisted that his family would be happy to meet me. I on the other hand am terrified to meet them. I’m terrified to walk into their home on Logan’s arm with a baby in tow. Nevertheless, I found one of two conservative dresses that I have in my possession and I put it on. It’s a simple black dress that sits just above my knees and I’ve paired it with a jean jacket and a pair of flats. I feel ridiculous but it’s the best I could do given my situation. Logan looks mouthwateringly sexy in a pair of black slacks and dark blue button down shirt. He holds my hand the entire way there, silently giving me encouragement.

We pull into the driveway of a massive brick house. Floodlights shine like a beacon on Logan’s truck as we approach; it’s like a spotlight on us making it impossible for me to hide. The house reminds me a lot of my parents’ home back in Florida, which tells me that his family has money. In my world, when people have money they have a skewed sense of reality and priorities, but I’ll do my best to withhold judgment.

Logan turns his head toward me. “You ready?”

“Do I have a choice? We’re here already,” I reply with a hint of sarcasm in my tone.

“I promise you that it’s going to be fine. I know my family. They’re going to welcome you with open arms.” He reassures.

“Even though I have a baby?”

“Yes.” He reaches over and strokes my cheek. “Even though you have a baby.”

“Fine, lets just get this over with.”

He exits the car, strides around the front and opens my door. He practically has to drag me out of my seat, but once I’m securely out of the car and standing by his side he grabs Lily’s car seat from the back seat and with his free hand grabs hold of mine. I look down at our entwined fingers and my heart skips a beat.

Normally, I’d be over the moon by this publicly open display of affection but right now it just puts me more on edge. He leads me across the long gravel driveway, up a short flight of brick steps and inside the front door with lightning speed.

I can barely catch my breath or mentally prepare myself for the upcoming introductions.
God, please don’t let me pass out in the middle of this house.

“Mom!” He bellows. “Dad! Where are you guys?”

“In the kitchen sweetie!” I hear a sing-songy voice call out. By process of elimination, I deduce that the voice must belong to his mother and I already like her more than my own mom. She sounds happy, gleeful, and kind, not miserable and cold like the voice that I was used to coming home to.

Logan puts Lily’s carrier down and takes his jacket off before helping me remove mine. I pick Lily up and hold her close to me, needing to have her near, my protective mother gene kicking in. Logan grabs my hand again and instinctively I try to pull away but he just grips me tighter. One way or another, whether I like it or not, he’s making some kind of statement about me to his family.

“Trust me,” he says with a smile that does little to reassure me right now.

“Oh, I hate when you say that.” I huff as he pulls me through the house heading for what I can only assume is the kitchen.

“Hi guys,” he says as we cut through the dining room in order to reach our destination. His parents have their backs to us and turn around in unison. They take in the sight of us together, me holding Lily, Logan holding me and I expect for them to have a reaction to say something, lose the smiles that are plastered on their faces, have a mild coronary but unbelievably they don’t even flinch. They never miss a beat, there’s no question in their eyes, no obvious disappointment or concern.

“Logan.” His father greets him with a nod.

“Hi honey.” His mom gleams, walking over to us and placing a kiss on his cheek. “Aren’t you going to introduce us to your friend?”