Shhh...Mack's Side (31 page)

“I can understand that. She’s sorry, you know.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she is. I wish you could see your little girl. That’s the part I hate the most out of all this. I hate it that she can’t be in your life all because of a lie.”

“I’m seeing her.”

“Oh, my god! You are? That’s wonderful. How?”

“Sarah wasn’t the innocent victim everyone made her out to be either. She played her part as well. She’s also come to realize how much her decision in all this played a role in the outcome. She played into it
, too. She’s doesn’t want to keep Cara from me. And Cara absolutely loves Gianna. Gianna loves to shop. That’s right up Cara’s alley. Gia knows all the cool, trendy clothes.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sarah played a part in all of this, Mack. I should probably tell you about the night you were hit in the head. About all the stuff you don’t remember.”

“Nah, I’m good. I left that part of my life in the past. I prefer to leave it there. I would rather hear about Cara.
Tell me about her,” Mack excitedly asked, biting into a cucumber with a smile.

“Oh, Mack, she’s such a cool kid. You should see her on the court, she’s amazing. She’s going to be the next LeBron James, just you wait,” I boasted.

I was content with the way things turned out. Mack being with Kyle, me being with Gia, I wasn’t expecting the call from Sarah. Everyone was sorry, and my daughter wanted to see me. That closed the story. That made me a happy man.

“I can’t wait to see that.
” Mack, smiled. “What about your parents? You see them?”

“I lost them both while I was in prison. This took a lot
out of my mom, and I guess after my dad passed, she didn’t really have much to live for.”

“I’m so sorry, James.”

“You called me, James,” I teased with a slanted smile.

“I know. I hate that you went through this. I wish I could change it.”

“Yeah, well, no sense in living in the past. We can’t. None of us can go back and do it again. My parents left me a nice little nest egg. I’m seeing my little girl, and I have Gianna. I’m happy, Mack. I want you to be happy, too. What about your parents? They okay with the whole Kyle thing, you marrying an older man?”

“Yeah, they don’t know that part. I’ve never really had that relationship with my parents. We’re okay. I talk to them here and there and I just flew out to Texas a couple weeks ago for my mom’s surprise birthday party. I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there,” she laughed. “It is what it is. We’ll never have that special bond, but I know they love me, and I love them.
I’m okay with that.”

“I’m glad. You know, Mack, I think this story is over.”

Smiling, Mack agreed. “Me too.”

Friend: A person attached to another person by feelings of affection or personal regard. A person who gives assistance, a supporter, faithful companion, and keeper of secrets. Someone with whom you can laugh or cry, share your hopes and dreams. Someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway.
[i]

Best friend: Someone who you can trust with your life who has seen the best and worst of you and will be there whenever you need someone to talk to. There is a balance in friendship between give and take. You feel so in sync with them that you can comfortably share your innermost feelings and thoughts.
[ii]

Sister: A person who’s been where you’ve been. Someone you can call when things aren’t right. More than just family. A sister is a friend for life.
[iii]

Broken: Having been fractured or damaged and no longer in working order. Having given up all hope, despairing.
[iv]
Dictionary.com

How do you go from one extreme to another? How do you feel like part of you is missing and you have no idea where to find it? How do you lose your whole life, everything you thought you had, you thought you knew, you thought would happen…how does it all go away as quickly as the wind blows? The secrets, the plans, the dreams, I can’t even tell them apart anymore. They all melt together, forming one big cluster of nothing. Which is exactly what I am…I am nothing but a damaged person. I have been since day one.

People can be whatever you want them to be. I am the perfect example of that. On the inside, everything is wrong, all of it is misplaced, and nothing holds security. I was never pretty enough, I was never good enough, I was never smart enough, I was just never enough. They needed flawlessness and excellence, and on the outside, I portrayed it to a T. But on the inside, I was dying. Damaged goods. At least when you buy something broken you can return it, but what do you do when that’s not an option? When you have no choice but to wake up every morning with a smile on your face because that’s what people expect. Your family, your social circle, and your best friend–someone you call your sister. McKenzie thought she knew me, everyone did. I told you I played the part perfectly, hour after hour, day after day, year after year.

I am Gianna Edwards.

But the truth is…

I have no idea who I am.